| | Virgin at 24Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | Well the title says it ll really! Over the years, I've had opportunities to lose it. But whenever it goes beyond kissing, I feel awkward as hell. Now it's just become a big thing in my head and when I've had the chance in the past year, I've been too embarrassed to explain and said that I'm going to sleep or some lame excuse like that. Bah, frustrating! Now I'm just annoyed with myself. Advice?? | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:26:51 PM | | If it bothers you now, just have sex. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:27:30 PM | | Do a thread search on 'virgin'. There seems to be one a week in the last few months. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:54:00 PM | Why are you annoyed? Why do you feel you have to do something you don't want to do?
If you thought of your virginity as something bothersome, you sure would have lost it by now.
It's good you have a standard, and my advice is to keep faithful to it. I lost mine at 22, to the man I later married. I don't regret it, and I don't wish it would have been sooner.
Forget about what everybody else says you should be doing, and focus on who you are and what are your boundaries and standards. With them in mind, make whatever decisions you have to take. Only like that you will be truly happy. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:10:15 PM | go for it. unless your waiting on marriage.
if your just scared then do everything else first. self pleasure is always good. get some toys. round the bases. do oral on each other. rent some porn. have an orgasm before you have actual sex! | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:03:54 PM | I personally do not see what the big deal is do you want to have sex yes/no
Do as the above poster mentioned... If you don't want to then don't it's up to and you a lone.. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:28:36 PM | | There are plenty of women who wish they had your problem, instead of spreading their legs for every guy they meet! | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:41:19 PM | | Nothing wrong with that. If you find a guy who is really into you, he will wait until you are comfortable. Ignore anyone just telling you to go out and have sex. Don't until you are ready and everyone is ready at different times. Some are comfortable at 14 while others want to wait till marriage. I waited till I was 21 and in love with someone and I am glad I didn't do it sooner. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:41:37 PM | | You're a virgin, so what? The more you make a mountain out of a mole hill the more frustrating it'll get | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:59:07 PM | its nobodys buisness but yours op.....when the time and partner are right..........it will happen
been that way since the beginning of time | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:16:27 PM |
If it bothers you now, just have sex.
Honestly...the next guy you're with and you want to, just do it. If you're freaked out about losing your bravery due to the foreplay, just tell him you're so hot for him you can't wait any longer and want him inside you. Then let him go at it. But since you've waited this long, I wouldn't just do it with anybody. Do it with someone you care about. No regrets. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:50:18 PM | | OP-do you want to make love--or do you simply want to lose the virgin tag? | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:43:31 PM | ^^^ I think that’s taking things in a sensible direction.
op: . . when I've had the chance in the past year, I've been too embarrassed to explain and said that I'm going to sleep or some lame excuse like that.
I wonder if those chances came in a relationship where physical intimacy could develop gradually over time, or whether it was a start-to-finish all in one night scenario. Because the latter can be less-than-relaxed even for a sexual sophisticate. And if you’re not comfortable enough to to tell your partner you’re a virgin, he won’t know what’s going on with you or how to give you what you need.
Clearly you’re conflicted about the way you’re handling this and seem to expect more of yourself. But some part of you is resistant and won’t be ignored and probably shouldn’t be. Impatience with yourself isn’t a great motivator for having sex. Small wonder your inner minx is feeling more awkward than lustful.
So what are you gonna do? I dunno. Twenty-four is hardly an old maid. Rushing yourself along just to keep pace with some timeline doesn’t sound like fun. I’m no prude and I don’t think everyone’s first time is great or memorable, but it would be nice if it was at least good enough to want it again.
I hope you meet somebody you like and trust and wanna be naked with. And I hope you both take your time. Life is long, you know. G’luck | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:27:09 AM | There are two common reasons why someone fears to cross the line from V to Not V: fear of loss of status (religious concerns, fear that they will be a victim in some way, fear of looking foolish at the time); and fear of the physical act (will there be pain? Blood?).
Figure out which one of those is your problem, and address it directly.
If it is the physical one, fear of bloody mess or pain, then you might consider "deflowering" yourself with a mechanical device made for the act (dildo).
If it is the fear of status change, then reading others experiences will likely calm you, as you discover the truth that no such change is permanent (unless you have religious beliefs to deal with). For most of us, the worst that we suffer, is the recognition after the event, that the person we thought was "the one" was actually "just some jerk." And that's not all that bad, really. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:32:34 AM | I guess my best advice is you need to get out of your head a little and experience the sensation of the moment. Of course, it is easier said than done! Your predicament (sp) has motivated me to log onto the forums for the first time to reply to your post!
What I think you need is someone with experience that you trust for your first time. I have been with 2 male virgins in my life, one I ended up marrying! When they admittied this to me they were embarressed and thought I would see them in a negative way bc of this. To me, I felt honored that they cared for me that much that they were wanting me to be their first. (Okay potential bashers, they both were very desired by quite a few women, so no pooping on them!)
Given that I lost my virginity in a manner that most of us did, kind of young with another inexperienced person, I wanted it to be special and to be very pleasurable, unlike the awkward first time for me.
I would like to think you will be able to find a man who will do the same as I did foor them for you. We all still have awkward moments in the bedroom, so do not feel like it is bad. I think the best sex is when both people lose their thinking and get completely immersed in the sensation of what is happening. When I am with someone who seems to be focused on certain "moves" or whatnot, I can sense they are in their head rather than in the bed, and it loses the intensity.
Hopefully what I have said makes sense and is helpful. Don't pressure yourself, but also don't put this first moment so high on a pedastal that you cannot reach coming to actually doing it. Find someone you trust. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:16:27 AM | | It's a good job there are so many expert therapists and shrinks on POF looking for dates or how would we get our problems solved LOL | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:47:55 AM | | You will know when you are ready, no matter what age it is when you are ready. It's not uncommon to feel the way you do. Your mind will work with your body and you may find yourself willing to explore, this is just a first step, afterwards practice makes perfect! | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:57:53 AM | | I used to see this lady,she was 27 and a virgin .Then she could not have enough.She was great also. I think the worst scenario is if a woman waits that long and her first is a major disappointment .If you find someone who can get you to relax,it will probably be amazing. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:22:39 PM | | Honestly I guess i'm annoyed because I can't help comparing myself to everyone else. All my friends have plenty of experience at this stage. I know it's silly to compare though. I do want to do it, but whenever I've come close before, I haven't known the men that well and thought better of it. But at times I wish I had just to get it over with. Hopefully I'll meet the right person soon:) | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:27:35 PM | | Yeah, it's been more one night scenarios. Which are nerve wrecking enough, but when you throw in my lack of experience, it's just led to over-analysis on my point and not doing anything. I guess you're right though. There isn't any point in rushing it jus t to keep up with everyone else. Can be awkward when my friends are discussing their sex lives, but all in good time I guess:) Thanks for the advice! | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:32:26 PM | | Hey, thanks for logging on especially:) Yeah I think experience on his part is definately required, what with my extreme awkwardness. I think you've hit the nail on the head with what u said bout pressuring myself and also putting it on a pedestal to the point where I don't do it. That's been the main problem really. Well that and failing to find someone lol. Anyway, thanks for the advice! | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:52:56 PM | I’m a proponent of outercourse (non-penetrative sex) for couples of any age or experience who are exploring their sexual relationship together for the first time, or anytime really – making out, nudity, fooling around. Foreplay without destination.
But it's good and helpful to agree in advance that you're going to meander along at the pace of the slowest person, and that any place along the way can be a time to check in with how you're feeling about it. Or any place can be a stopping place, anytime someone says ‘enough for now.’
Plainly put, the sexual experience of a female virgin is probably better served if the guy does not expect to have intercourse to the point of orgasm, if at all. My opinion. | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:00:12 PM | Female virgin at 24: It's okay, you can wait
Male virgin at 24: OMG, WHAT A LOSER! DUDE, GET YOURSELF LAID!!!! | |
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| Virgin at 24
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:05:09 PM | | Eh there was an 80yr old virgin a couple months back. She was an "entertainer" so don't worry you got nothing to worry about just be you. | |
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