| | Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | Ive been emailing 3 guys for well over a week now and none of them have suggested meeting up. What am I meant to do to get them to ask me out? Theres been plenty of chat with all of them, its not like its just been one-liners. I would quite like to actually go out on a date as im not the sort of person who wants to just live through their computer. And also I think that there comes a point with emailing on here (well for me anyway) that the chat is kind of coming to an end and its either 'date or break'.
Presuumably they like communicating with me as they reply every time I send a message. We are all on here to potentially meet someone we are compatible with but how is that gonna happen if nobody ever meets up?
Yes I know, I could ask THEM out, this isnt the 1950's etc etc, but Im being totally honest when I say that women are given the message that we shouldnt do it as it emasculates men and makes us look desperate. And also I am old-fashioned in that sense that I like the man to be the one doing the asking. Of course I dont want a man to ask in the very first message, but after 15 messages surely you would know if you wanted to meet up? | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:22:46 PM | If a man really wants to take you out, it won't take him long to ask.
The ones who don't ask don't want the same thing you do, or they're not into you.
Don't waste your time with time wasters. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:33:21 PM | I could ask THEM out, this isnt the 1950's etc etc, but Im being totally honest when I say that women are given the message that we shouldnt do it as it emasculates men and makes us look desperate. And also I am old-fashioned in that sense that I like the man to be the one doing the asking. Of course I dont want a man to ask in the very first message, but after 15 messages
Seems like you have some assumed parameters there, and a smart man with game may just wait for you to get to the place you are already at,
where YOU are antsy to go out and will likely say yes when he asks, just as you require in your "specifications".
If they are not just teenager(s) playing, then one of them is bound to ask sometime this year, but to be sure you could get 6 more guys to email-buddy you until one of them decides to act as the man is "supposed" to act... | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:38:37 PM | well...you could at least HINT.
Mention something fun you'd like to do.
Not overly lavish.
A club, band, movie, restaurant....park even.
If they can't take a hint,
they be too dense to date.
Welcome to filtering 101.
A guy you may like to know....
will pick up on it.
good luck. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 3:50:42 PM | | I had a similar experience when I first joined this site four years ago. Finally, tired of waiting, I asked the guy I was interested in if we were ever going to actually meet in person. We were together for over 3 years. Just ask! | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:03:41 PM | As a male, I will say this:
We (most of us anyways) DO NOT think you're slutty or easy just because you were the one to ask us out first. Just in case that thought was bothering you. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:04:06 PM |
we shouldnt do it as it emasculates men
if this 'emasculates' a guy, he'd already accomplished that himself.
and makes us look desperate.
or gutsy. some guys will actually respect that, especially those secure enough not to need to be controlling. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:05:13 PM | Darlin this site is choked full of time wasters. I call them time vampires. If you let them they will suck the life blood right out of you I promise. Chataholics. They need to go attend a 12 step program to wean themselves from Instant Messaging and texting usually.
If you are here to meet men then this has to always be moving forward. 4 or 5 decent messages. You get on the phone and you setup a meeting. As soon as you feel you are treading water, not making progress just cash in your chips and holler NEXT UP PUHLEEEZE! Some will be thrilled to send you emails and texts for MONTHS ON END. They are happy sending you notes at night with lots of little xxx's and oooo's.
If you want a man to kiss you good night then locate one that is ready to meet. Your cute you should not have a problem.
Add a section on your profile and just say "I am only looking for men ready to meet in a timely fashion. If its going to take you more then a week or so to figure this out, please dont message me".
Good Luck
Cowboy | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:07:48 PM | I wish gender roles would just outright die. There is nothing attractive about a woman who is uncomfortable with being proactive and taking some initiative of her own to express an interest in dating--or otherwise provide direction for how things progress.
I've noticed on many profiles that a lot of women don't even want to contribute any ideas for what to do on a date; they want the man to decide everything. Is it seriously this hard to communicate?
Unless you want to end up with a guy who expects you to drop whatever you're doing, bring him a beer, make him a sandwich, and get naked whenever he takes a whim... then try becoming your own person. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:30:02 PM | | I'm tired of reading posts from women who say: "I'm old fashioned" , when it's convenient for them to get what they want. Otherwise, they are a modern woman. If you're old fashioned, be old fashioned in every sense at all times and stop throwing around the term only when you feel like getting something from a guy. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:59:31 PM | | If he, or any other guy that you message with online, doesn't ask you out after a few messages, just send him a message asking him if he wants to meet over a cup of coffee or a drink, keep it low key and non-threatening. If he doesn't answer, or makes excuses, stop contact with him. Learn to be assertive, it's a good quality, guys love it. Doesn't mean they'll answer or you'll ever meet but at least you took charge of your own life. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:21:42 PM | | Yea theyre right, theyre wasting your time. Youre just occupying their time for the time being until they find someone who theyre really into or until their wives/girlfriends take them back. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:32:12 AM | After looking at your profile, I believe I have the answer. One of three possible answers.
1) After messaging you, they assume you are crazy. Might be an over-sentitive "craz-dar"
2) They are gay.
3) They are deader than Monty Python's Parrot.
I vote for either 2 or 3. Or both. | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:41:01 AM | | I looked at your profile, and the only conclusion that I could come to as to why they haven't asked you out yet is because they are either blind or gay. Perhaps both? | |
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:10:29 AM | ^
lol too slow and less funny. delete your post bob, womac had the drop on you and executed with panache.
and on topic, they either,
a) are trying to build rapport/sentiment first
b) are very selective or non-committal
c) are already seeing someone else and just keeping you on hold
d) don't want to seem too desperate
e) are waiting for her to ask to see a picture of their wang so they will know she's easy (e is always a joke answer)
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| Why does it take men so long to ask for a date?
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:40:48 AM | | Ah, I see who you were talking about now. Womac looks like a guy I used to buy caffeine pills from in high school so I just subconsciously skipped his comment, I think. I have to disagree, though. It wasn't all that funny. For a minute there I was thinking that I really was guilty of second-handing a flirt-joke there for a second. | |
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