|Personal SafetyPage 1 of 1 |
|Been messaging with someone, they want to meet, but refuse to meet in a public place, doesn't want to be "interviewed". Am I missing something... do you guys not understand personal safety, not just for the woman but for the man as well? Why is meeting in a public place annoying?|
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:25:59 PM
|"We guys"? It's "you women" who always say that. You women should stop saying that (it's annoying to "us guys")|
Those guys are probably married and don't want to be seen with another woman in public.
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:26:03 PM
|It is NOT annoying. All first meets should be in a public place and your safety is of the upmost importance.|
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:27:43 PM
|He's hiding something, or plans on hiding a body?|
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:28:45 PM
do you guys not understand personal safety
Who is you guys? The only person here that has no regard for personal safety is the idiot you are talking to. The rest of us do understand and don't have a problem with it.
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:41:23 PM
|Maybe he's a married man and doesn't want to be recognized or caught, if he's seen with you out in public.|
Women are also known for doing this, OP, not just the fellas.
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:47:45 PM
Why is meeting in a public place annoying?
Because it's not as convenient for a dude as meeting at his place, and yes, it's probably as risky as you are imagining.
If I were a woman, I wouldn't budge on the whole "first meet MUST be in a public area".
There's no legitimate reason for him to insist on a private place to meet an individual for the first time if he met them online. You aren't that famous, bro, and you don't have paparazzi stalking you.
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:56:20 PM
|Why does meeting in a public place make it an interview over meeting privately? He is hiding something and I would stick to your guns.|
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:15:45 PM
|Well it would be annoying to a criminal or a rapist.|
Or someone married and not wishing to be seen.
Go with your gut on this.
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:20:59 PM
: Been messaging with someone, they want to meet, but refuse to meet in a public place, doesn't want to be "interviewed". Huge red flags. You know what to do. Block and move on. All first meets are in public places. I do mine in bars not coffee shops but always in public.
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:22:55 PM
|OMG woman.....do you not get it....he wants some sex and soon, and you are his option.....so your personal safety is not his desire......getting laid is and you are up!!|
So, if you do not want to go there, do not, but trust me.....this has more to do with a one time thing and not being seen with you over safety as you might think......shakes head and leaves the room!
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:43:33 PM
|OP: Oh come on. Can you stop with the global, no-wiggle-room-whatsoever generalization, please?|
Other than irking me right off the bat... what part of DROP THIS GUY IMMEDIATELY CAN'T YOU _______ FIGURE OUT FOR YOURSELF?!
Look... and I always know when I start out with "Look," I'm about to be offensive... but sue me. (You won't get a dime, but go ahead and sue me.) Anyway... look, there's no point in having your own standards if you're NOT GOING TO ENFORCE THEM. So many people are such ________ about enforcing THEIR OWN STANDARDS. Look (there I go again), like it or not, most women are a lot weaker than most men. Women are overwhelmingly the ones beaten, stabbed, raped, shot, hanged, stripped naked and dragged through fields, tortured... bla bla bla. You ARE aware of this "trend," right? So, if you want to meet in a place and manner that makes YOU feel comfortable, and HE doesn't want to indulge you... DROP HIS INCONSIDERATE ___ MOST RIKKY-TIK! Block him, delete him, et cetera, and MOVE ON.
Hey, look (hmmm... another one), I even whip out my (retired) military ID and show it to women I help along the side of the road. If a man isn't a threat, he's "open" to a woman. That's my take on it. I would have *NO* problem going the extra mile, or two, or 20, to make some woman more comfortable around me, especially in a "first meeting" scenario. I'm 6'5" tall, I have a face that would turn Medusa to stone and, when I'm dressed up, I *ALWAYS* have at least one person make some comment about how I look like a hit man. Whatever. My point is, things are stacked up against me and that's how it is. So if I'm going to meet a woman, I know it's MY responsibility, not HERS, to make HER feel comfortable. If that means I have to meet in a place and manner that makes ME feel a bit uncomfortable... that's just tough ___.
This guy is already pulling the "power" thing on you. If you cave and do things his way, he'll pull the same kind of ___ over and over and over. Do you need that kind of crap in your life? Damn, ma'am, PAY ATTENTION TO THE WARNING SIGNS!
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:02:29 PM
|'Do you guys not understand personal safety?'|
Do you women not know that its not us guys who collectively messaged you?
You would be stupid if you meet him somewhere that isn't public.
That or we can tag the bodybag with 'natural selection at work'..
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:17:16 PM
|Yes I am scared of women that insist on meeting in a public place with lots of mirrors and clowns. :(|
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:32:10 PM
|Huge RED Flag! I'd block him and drop him.|
DO NOT EVER meet someone for the first time anywhere that is not in public with plenty of people around. Don't let him know where you live and do not get in a car (his or yours) with him. That is how women end up raped and murdered.
More than likely he is married and is afraid to go out in public because someone might recognize him. That or he's planning to kill you.
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:33:24 PM
|Yeah this guy is trouble avoid at all costs. I wouldn't even agree to meet a woman in a non public place for the first time.|
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:51:41 AM
|It'd only be annoying somebody who's trying to harm you, obviously. Tell the criminal NO and block him.|
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:34:21 AM
|OP even if his intentions were honorable an adult (grown up and fully matured) male would know that this is going to be unacceptable to most women and should be to him as well. Doesn't want to be interviewed is a pretty lame excuse. Meeting in a public place is the only option.|
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:17:20 AM
|You're even entertaining this idea, OP? Knock it off!|
Posted: 7/18/2012 10:37:26 AM
|It could be that he just isn't very social and doesn't want to be around others while in an already uncomfortable position--a first date. Not everyone is at ease in public situations. |
Bear in mind there are plenty of psycho killers and rapists who happen to have excellent social skills and would have no qualms with meeting in a bar or restaurant; so don't get bent out of shape with searching for red flags just because this guy isn't too keen on social settings.
Why not suggest to him that the two of you have a simple parking lot date--seriously. You could tentatively plan to just meet at Target or some other public place that tends to be well populated; then just stand outside your cars for a few minutes and talk. Chances are, he'll probably be ok with that.
You can always make more elaborate plans later on--after that awkward first meeting is out of the way and comfort zones begin to expand.