| | Why can he talk about feelings and not me?Page 1 of 1 | | I was dating what I thought was a real great guy. I loved being around him. He always told me how he felt connected to me. He told me how he was falling for me and how he could see himself spending the rest of his life with me. I was fine with hearing those things. Even though it scared me alittle because I wasnt for sure I was at the same place as him at the time. But, when I did feel the same and told him his response was "wow, I had no idea you felt that way". Then he disappeared off the face of the earth. He's ignored my text messages and phone calls. I gave up on even trying to get in contact with him any more. How is it ok for him to feel that way and tell me about his feeling. But, when I talk about my feeling for him he disappears? Why would a guy, or anyone for that matter, do that? Has anyone else ever experienced this? | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:40:36 PM | No. I can't say I ever had a guy wig out on me before.
Seriously though. Something doesn't add up. I doubt you know what the real reason was that he bailed out. And it's not really important. They can come up with any excuse that they want, but it's not going to change the fact that it's over.
You're kind of new at this dating thing. Be glad you found out early so you didn't waste any more time. Just let it roll off and move onto the next. Sooner or later you'll find a keeper. Be patient. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:54:19 PM | | That makes absolutely no sense to me, and I would just move on and try not to find answers. Maybe he like the fantasy of things and as it got serious he bailed, but really I have no idea... | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:00:47 PM | | Did he say those nice things in bed? Or while drinking? If not, then I'm out of guesses but please don't let me find out you dated for a total of 2 weeks... more importantly please don't let that whacky happening stop you from being open and honest in the future. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:31:39 PM | My dear OP......he said it to get in your pants and if you complied then he was satisfied, and if you did not, he was frustrated and moved on.......hard to be a single dating woman is it not??? The same is there for those of us real and not willing to play those games in order to get laid.
Good luck
cd | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:06:10 PM |
How is it ok for him to feel that way and tell me about his feeling. But, when I talk about my feeling for him he disappears? Why would a guy, or anyone for that matter, do that?
Appears to be the standard "hit-it-and-quit-it" methodology, with a convenient timing of your gushing about your "feelings" as an excuse. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:14:56 PM | He told you what you wanted to hear. You told him what he didn't want to hear.
o.O
It is obvious you both had different "objectives" for this relationship in mind, so don't fret about it too much and just move on. I could be wrong, but it seems like he wasn't genuinely interested in a relationship with you, so when you escalated interested he bailed. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:17:43 PM | | Hold your head up high. You waited until you were ready, and then expressed your feelings at an appropriate time. He is not emotionally-healthy to be in hiding. Even if he does come back, you've seen his true colors. Those won't change. Same thing may happen again... he proposes marriage, but then is a no-show at the wedding. Remember the age old lesson of "fool me once shame on you; fool me twice...." Don't be made a fool again by him. There are plenty of stable men who are ready for a relationship. I wish you well in your search. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:18:05 PM | | Its not okay. You know it so does he and everyone else. So now you know its not okay so its your decision to either let it bother you or move on. Obviously hes not who he was claiming to be and being dishonest with you, so its best not to concern yourself any more with him. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:36:07 PM | You tell this story in a very one-sided manner. I'm cautious about assuming that your version of things is entirely and comprehensively accurate.
It could be simply that he was a horn dog, tried the "you are my sunshine" routine on date two, to try to get laid, and when you much later returned to the concept, he bailed to avoid committing. That's the most common idea your version is going to leave us with.
But I've seen instances where one person's interpretation of words said was such that the guy professed strong attraction, the woman rebuffed him, and later the woman expressed something very different involving much deeper and more intense commitment than the guy ever did, and so he ran away. Sort of along the lines of
M: "I'm having a great time getting to know you."
F: "Keep your thingy in your shorts, bub."
M: "Ok, just friends then."
[TIME...]
F: (with no preamble)"I want you to buy me a house so I can have your baby."
M: " ???!!!!????"
F: "Why is it okay for a GUY to express his feelings, but not a GAL?"
Not accusing you of anything, just pointing out how interpreted words, might or might not actually have said what a single person's viewpoint believed that they did. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:16:20 PM | | Two of these guys had me tickled red! Lol, but seriously lady friend if this is what happened to you, he was just trying to get in the gate. Thats so obvious, i don't know why some men feel as though they have to tell a woman words of such just to get the cookie. Been there, done that. It's crazy. Then they will go and choose sycho to wife and end up asking God "Why?" | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:51:49 AM | | Sometimes people get really caught up in a new person and attach early then later realize they moved too fast or get scared and back off. There are also those who are commitment fobic and are great as long as they know you are holding back but once you start to feel more and they realize this thing could ead to something more permanent they get scared and run. I have a very dear male friend who I watch him repeat the pattern with every really good lady he starts seeing. He even gets frustrated with himself over it. I would just move on and not try to over analyze it. That can drive you to distraction. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:14:44 AM | Somehow, I suspect all the "no players" rants on profiles are in response to incidents like this?
He said what it took to get in yer pants. What an A-hole. | |
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| Why can he talk about feelings and not me?
Posted: 7/18/2012 7:29:02 PM | | OP: Bottom line up front, he has issues... emotional, mental, whatever. Who cares? He has issues. Are you looking for drama? No??? Then consider yourself *FORTUNATE* that this guy did YOU a favor by exhibiting his FRUITCAKE BEHAVIOR before it got to the point that the two of you are getting married and putting your names on a mortgage for a new house. In *my* terms, I'd just tell you... he's a nut. Does it matter what kind of nut he is? No. He's a nut. Move on. He's psycho. ____ up. A loon. Strange. Weird. "Out there." Bananas. Don't ask "why" questions. "Why" questions are never satisfied by whatever answers you get; "why" questions just beget more "why" questions. Ma'am, you can choose to "why" yourself 'til the cows come home, over this, or just say "Screw the 'why' questions" and move on. It's your call. Who cares if it's happened to anyone else? It happened to YOU. That's all that matters. Move on, move on, move on. | |
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