| | question / situationPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | One person in the relationship seems to be designated with making the arrangements for booking transportation back from the airport. This person has an issue with the driver of the transport and as such decides not to tip anything.
Generally speaking, tipping has not been an issue in the relationship although occasionally the 2nd person seems to be concerned about "how much was left". This has never come up as a general discussion, but might occasionally right after the transaction is complete.
Should the other person comment on it after the fact or let the person making the arrangements make the decision and accept their judgement on the matter ?
thanks for any thoughts !! | |
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Posted: 7/17/2012 7:29:27 PM | | The person who thinks there should be a tip should leave the tip maybe? Or just say nothing. Why bring it up if you aren't doing anything about it. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2012 7:33:02 PM | One reason the ex bf is and ex he was a bad tipper. He seemed to look for any excuse to leave nothing. I tired to remember to always bring money and would leave my own tip or say I will get the tip. If i didn't have money on me though I just let it ride as it was his business if he was paying.
I only once did not tip someone. They never put our order in I had 5 kids with me and they were starving then the manager brought rolls then food came a few minutes later. so none of the kids ate their dinner. The manager knocked 25% and when the register lady asked how the meal was I explained it to her she got another manager who took the whole bill. I left 52 cents for tip.
I am a generous tipper. I appreciate the service and not washing dishes. I know issues with the food are not always the servers fault. People work hard and some jobs are hard on the feet, legs, back and mind. They have to try to do a good job even if their life is falling apart.
I don't think you can talk to a bad tipper. I think they feel they are justified in doing so. I personally will not date one again. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2012 7:33:24 PM | | If you have a problem with your partner not tipping then say something. If you don't then no need to. Simple. Relationships are largely about communication. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2012 7:41:48 PM | It should always be ok to "comment" on something someone is uncomfortable with.
You seem to take a "know your place" approach to relationships. Yikes. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2012 8:37:54 PM | | If tipping has not been an issue prior to this instance, I would accept their decision without questioning it. Not everyone deserves a tip. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 5:51:31 AM | its tipping people....not worth getting up set over....
pick your battles | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 5:54:22 AM | | If you think there should be a tip, leave a tip. You're an adult. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 6:15:08 AM | | I hate cheapskates who look for reasons not to or limit tipping. Matters little who made the arrangements. Sounds more like she finds you to be overly critical when it comes to it & may wonder what else your overly critical of if the simple gesture of tipping is an issue. Strike one in the lack of character column dude. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 6:17:50 AM | What a pointless and insignificant aspect of a relationship.
If something as ridiculous as this is a cause for friction in your couple, you might seriously want to reconsider the entire relationship, or at least its basis.............. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 6:27:54 AM | "seems to be designated "
You're not much of a communicator in your relationships, are you?
This seemingly small issue, would be a good place to start practicing that.
Doesn't even really matter if you get the words just right... just say something TO her ABOUT it if it BUGS you.
Tipping styles vary widely. Some never tip. Some tip the same whether the service sucks or excels.
Some think you tip a waitress and a masseuse but not a maid or a tour guide.
on, and on, and on it goes.
If I'm paying, I tip what I want.
If he's paying, I either offer "let me get the tip" or I shut up my yap. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 7:05:39 AM | | thank god live in the uk, tipping culture not here ( get paid do a job no one tips most workers) though we rapidly turning into the 52 nd state of usa,everything from proms to the language | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 7:20:48 AM | I think everyone has the right to decide about their own tipping habits...
If you want to be in charge of tipping, offer to pay the bill next time. Let him see "your" method of tipping.
Sometimes people do learn by example more than by criticism. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 7:28:01 AM | I want to thank everyone that has posted their responses. I see lots of different perspectives and that is great.
And if more replies are posted, even better. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:05:55 AM | This person has an issue with the driver of the transport and as such decides not to tip anything.
The person providing the service irritates the customer at the risk of losing the tip.
Its a Gratuity (gift) not a right.
Flat 15% or 20% tipping just because you think the server is entitled might be your policy... its not the way tipping started and not the way it was ever intended to be. (until the IRS started assuming each server would get 15% minimum...)
I can remember when 10% was considered appropriate for recognition of better than average service and that much made the servers very happy.
(servers... as in persons providing the service)
************
I tip based on service rendered... might be 2 cents... might be 50%... | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:12:24 AM | | I believe in tipping and am generally considered a good tipper. I have a friend who is a horrible tipper. When I'm out with ths particular friend and he's picking up the tab...I make sure that I am the last person to leave the table and I leave a generous tip on top of his. No problem. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:31:26 AM | Tipping belong's in resturants.
Before you even step into a bloody cab the meter is on... So that's his tip. Our cab driver went through a red arrow at the traffic lights one evening...he never got his tip.
Here in OZ you gotta earn your 'tip' cause we are all tight arse's downunder!
Beside's the person paying should be the person who decides whether or not a tip has been earned and if someone kick's up then allow them to put their hand in their pocket.
As a relationship issue? It's nit picking! | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:44:31 AM | It's only an issue if you make it an issue. I don't ever remember it being a problem. Seems to be a group decision rather than an individual decision. At the end money is laid down, every one looks at it, we do the math, think about it, sometimes someone digs in their pocket for a few more dollars, sometimes someone thinks it's too much and recommends taking a few dollars away.
If we can't come to a decision we call in the waitress and arm wrestle her for it. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 8:57:28 AM | You decide how much of a tip to leave with your money and others will do the same, simple as that. If you know your partner is tight with the tip and they're the one paying, you let them put in what they're comfortable with and say, "I was very satisfied with the service, I'll add some to the tip." Then place your money in. Not sure why you'd want to tip well for bad service though.
I know in other states servers get reduced pay and tips are their livelihood so I can understand the need for people to want to tip well. In California though minimum wage is flat across the board for everyone. I also never understood the distinction between certain jobs. You're not expected to tip the bag boy at the grocery store or the guy at home depot helping you lug out some lumber to your car but you have to tip your server at a restaurant, why? Social norms can be strange sometimes. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:04:15 AM | If YOU are happy with the service then you should tip, how the other person feels is entirely up to them. Some people tip no matter what and others only tip if they feel the service person went above and beyond for them.
Do you think your partner is a spend thrift, cheap, or overly judgemental then say something. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:34:50 AM | You tip the people who do the airport-hotel shuttle?? Really?
If person 1 knows person 2 has a small quirk about tipping, evidenced by their concern about "how much was left" after the transaction is complete, then person 1 should accept that that's who they are and let them do what makes them happy.
Where I come from, tipping just isn't done, so if my companion wants to tip, they should. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:37:51 AM | If a person is paying a tip, it's discretionary. That means it's their decision to make, not yours; not the person receiving the tip. You don't have to like it. But if you don't, by all means feel free to reach into your own pocket and hand over whatever you think are sufficient funds to make up the difference. On that basis alone, there can't possibly be a real problem here unless one person is hectoring the other for being either too cheap or too generous. And there are few things more annoying to me, personally, than somebody else telling me how I should spend my money.
Should the other person comment on it after the fact or let the person making the arrangements make the decision and accept their judgement on the matter ?
Not really a question of "should". Sorta begs the question of whether your partner should ever disagree with you about anything and have the nerve to bring it to your attention. People in relationships pretty much feel free to say whatever enters their head, particularly if their partner does something they think is worthy of criticism. As we all know. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:51:28 AM |
Not really a question of "should". Sorta begs the question of whether your partner should ever disagree with you about anything. People in relationships pretty much feel free to say whatever enters their head
Yes, agreed.
I think the OP is the tipper, and would like some validation from the forum drones (as he calls us in his profile), that his companion (paying none of the main expense, or tip) should butt out.
OP,
No need to jump straight into open warfare, vs. resort to mutinous silence. There's a whole rainbow in between of calm communication. The fact that the tiny issue of tipping tipped you into a tizzy so easily, is what hints to me of inability (unwillingness?) to resolve things with direct communication. You could talk and have it blow over. You could seethe and have it fester. All kinds of ways to go with it. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:59:43 AM | | As a person who has worked in the service industry, I always leave generous tips. | |
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