| | would you rather?Page 1 of 1 | Would you rather stop responding to a woman youre not interested in and hope she gets the hint or would you rather tell her flat out that youre not interested in her?
I find that both of these outcomes are risky but the first one is the better option. In my experiences, if you dont tell the man then he will just keep messaging you and insisting and insisting even if you drop subtle "thanks but no thanks" hints
but if you tell him flat out that hes not your type he then insults you degradingly "fat,ugly, whore, slut etc. Even go so far as to say unpleasant things about vagina" If I report him pof will most likely just warn him or do nothingor this psycho will be free to create a new account anyways.
So Ive found the best outcome is to just block them if youre not interested and they are persistant. Thanks for your time. | |
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| would you rather?
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:35:40 AM | | I would rather just let her know so there is no time wasted. It's called respect and if the guy has any for the girl he would do the same. As far as people coming at you with insults that just goes to show you they aren't emotionally mature enough to deal with rejection. Not the type of person I'd want to be with anyway. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:45:47 AM | Oh sure if you have an ongoing conversation and discover you are not compatible you can always say "THANKS but I dont think we are a match". Or just quit replying. No reply is a message here actually. NO LONGER INTERESTED.
Other wise you get 20 more stupid messages begging and asking WHY you are not interested, Just quit replying.
Trust me.
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 9:58:30 AM | I won't reply if it looks like she copied & pasted the same message going out to a hundred other guys. That's probably someone just looking for attention or she has poor literacy skills. And some of those profiles actually are middle school kids pranking adults.
If it does appear that she's read my profile and tries to strike up a conversation, then I will reply even if I'm not interested: a short, polite message saying we're not a match and wish her the best in her search. If she replies back asking for the specific reason, then I ignore that message.
but if you tell him flat out that hes not your type he then insults you degradingly
People get back the same energy they put out. Stay positive (or neutral at least). | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 10:19:07 AM | | Maybe I am unwise in this, but I will say, "I don't think we are a match because __________" In general, it is something quirky about me, not the lady, that causes the mismatch and I have yet to have anyone go ballistic on me over this. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 10:19:31 AM | | The first. I don't like to throw stones in glass houses and people rationalise anyway. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 10:42:17 AM | no response .....
is actually a response in itself
and I don't feel any reason to justify myself to some stranger | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 10:45:30 AM | A thank you and wishing them well with their fishing in this pond is more than enough information, and then you do not need to respond to any more of their messages and do not need to read them. For the most part, those I thank and wish them well, will just say thank you for the response and wish me well.....respect all the way.
Those that choose not to be cultured and respectful, will not, no matter how you approach them and saying NO.....but, a majority are not that way, and I can deal with the few stupid, insecure emails from those few, and continue being respectful to the rest.
cd | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 10:46:30 AM | No response. Never know when they'll flip their lid. After a couple times, you learn to NOT respond.
I feel bad blocking some people, but want to get rid of that annoying notification in my inbox that they are online. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 10:57:46 AM | I have never had anyone insult me (nor have I insulted them) for being honest and just stating that I don't think we are a match. I do usually give a reason and often there are several reasons to choose from so I always pick the one that will cause the least personal rejection which is usually that they live too far away.
I did recently have a gentleman insist that I would love riding on the back of his Harley (his profile stated he was looking for someone to share this with) after I stated that I do not like bikes and will never ride one. I was open to talking to him but just being honest and letting him know that if that's a deal breaker we shouldn't waste our time. Since he couldn't talk about anything but how much I really would like it if only I'd give it another shot I simply stopped responding.
Personally, I always like it when men are honest with me. It doesn't matter if it's after a first email or after months of dating. If they aren't interested in any sort of romantic relationship it's best to just be honest about it. I would much rather a guy just say, "I really enjoy going out with you but I just don't see this going any further" than to have my time wasted because he's hoping I'll decide to drop him.
LOL Pescando...I also have been known to block people to get rid of that annoying notification in my inbox! I have had several lines of user names up there and you can't see the names of the people you do want to email. | |
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Posted: 7/18/2012 6:06:05 PM | OP, what are you asking? If a guy isn't interested or girl? If you found the best outcome why are you asking in the first place?
If not interested, I'd tell them flat out. Why waste time? Some people get super butt-hurt some people could give two sh*ts. That's life. I don't even report the people who had given me insults. I've went both routes with the no response and the response, it doesn't really make a difference really. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 12:23:49 PM | | Tell them you're not interested and then add them to the Email block option. All their whining and moaning will then go for not. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 3:06:15 PM |
no response .....
is actually a response in itself
and I don't feel any reason to justify myself to some stranger
I agree with this. However sometimes you do get those immature guys who will get all mad for you not responding to them and continue to harass you until you tell them why your not interested. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 3:11:10 PM | Women should just block & delete, if they're not interested in a man
don't even think about it
Just hit that block | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 3:18:17 PM | | I agree with blocking and deleting. No need for conflict with this person. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 3:46:05 PM | | It's far easier and, in my opinion, safer to just not respond. Some people don't take direct rejection well in the slightest sense. Maybe it's a bit different with women than guys but if I don't respond, there usually isn't another message. If I respond back and say no thanks, there's a damn good chance that I'll get several messages back either trying to 'prove' to me that they suit my needs or just straight up telling me off. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 3:50:51 PM | | I'm used to just really short messages from women that are like hey, what's up? I usually will carry on with the conversation and when she sees i'm not making more effort than she is after 2 or 3 messages they stop. Otherwise I may just be interested in getting to know them as a potential friend but if it ever comes up as more than friends I will be honest. Haven't had that problem yet though, and I have made some good friends through these sites. No women has sent me a message yet with any substance yet but then it probably wouldn't make much of a difference in how I feel but I will be inclined to put more effort into a response. People can say anything over the internet so I take the first few messages with a grain of salt no matter how much effort is put into it. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 4:15:34 PM | | Women seem to love dropping hints when they want out, so part of me feels they should be treated the same way. Yet I always tell them "I'm gone" and just deal with her reaction. | |
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Posted: 7/19/2012 7:55:49 PM |
but if you tell him flat out that hes not your type he then insults you degradingly "fat,ugly, whore, slut etc. Even go so far as to say unpleasant things about vagina"
Ummmm, yeeeeaaah, right. Maybe it's the way you said it. Or, maybe it's the kind of guys you attract. What are you doing wrong? | |
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SamD83
| | Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 21 | |
| would you rather?
Posted: 7/20/2012 5:09:41 AM | | I'd rather just tell them as opposed to ignoring them. Everyone has to decide for themselves how they should respond/don't respond. But from my own point of view if someone has taken the time to speak to me I'd at least like to do the same in return. Even if it's just something like "Thanks for your message, but I don't think we'd be right for each other because we want different things". | |
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