| | Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage ProposalsPage 1 of 1 | There seems to be an odd trend towards proposing publicly. On TV, in densely populated restaurants, at family gatherings, at the ball game on the big screen.
Why do these hopeful Grooms feel the need to include 400 close relatives and a viewing audience of thousands, to witness a very personal and private moment ?
Is it backup ? Do they fear rejection so manipulate the situation so she's pressured into saying Yes ?
Is no thought given to the fact she's going to be considered a complete b1tch if she says no and he's going to look like a tragic figure ? (Not that it's a reason to accept if she doesn't want to).
Is it merely the need to be the center of attention ?
Or is it just me not being the overly romantic type who thinks this is rather odd ? | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 12:54:16 PM | Maybe recently they need more material to post on Faceplant and get a bit of recognition from their twitter followers?
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them".
Henry David Thoreau
I think many of us mature Forumite boomers may do well to get out in public and "sing" more...
While we still can carry a tune. Entertaining ourselves online is fine, but provides a very limited audience for our given "talents".
Many young men seem to have been conditioned to make it a big deal, thinking "once in a lifetime" event to overwhelm and sufficiently impress the girl, who may need much impressing and
who may be somewhat ambivalent about just whether that particular guy is "the best guy" or not. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:26:24 PM | The Grand Gesture.
Some expect of their significant other...
but often The Grand Gesture is made to influence the people who witness it, and coo their opinions...in turn, an attempt at influencing the individual on the receiving end. What a great guy! Oooh, she's so thoughtful. That one's a keeper!
The dozen roses sent to the workplace...oh, and the airplane circling the house with the "will you marry me" banner floating behind...after three months of dating. It was embarrassing...wonder where he is now?
MrsF | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:28:55 PM | I'm sure there are different reasons to have an audience see you propose but I would never want anyone to be there other than him and me. I don't like extra attention nor do I want to share that special moment with anyone else.
Still having a bit of shyness left over from my childhood. I also hated the idea of walking down the aisle to get married, among other things. I solved that problem by getting married in the wilderness with no aisle. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:36:29 PM | Saw one on TV at a Major League baseball game. true story they are panning and stop on a couple. She is on the jumbotron screen at the stadium and national TV now. She points up at the screen just as he gets down on one knee to propose. She is now watching him stunned on TV not even facing him. She turns and screams shaking her head NO NO NO slaps the ring from his hand and runs right out of the stands. That place got REALLY quiet for a second and then the whole stadium busted out laughing at the poor guy.
This was obviously not well thought out.
Also saw one of those old crop duster looking bi-planes that pull the big long banners behind them have one asking a gal to marry him flying over Texas Stadium once for a Dallas Cowboy game. I mean HOW TACKY ! WTF are these people thinking.
Cowboy | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:39:59 PM | Yes, I remember the one with the baseball game. But I think it was actually when she got a close look at the ring that she got upset and rejected the guy. At first she looked pleased enough.
He's probably going to be traumatized forever.
I'm in favor of a private, quiet, romantic moment, if that ever happens. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:44:35 PM |
I'm in favor of a private, quiet, romantic moment, if that ever happens. Yes and possibly involving champagne and lostsoof nudity hopefully, so it best not be on TV or in public.
Cowboy | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 1:48:42 PM | There was a YouTube video made (maybe a year ago?) of a proposal made as a (bona-fide) movie trailer......it was a seriously SWEET effort that was supposed to be "private" (supposedly) but this couple now seem to (in my opinion) be milking this sweet moment for whatever they can get.
They're now wanting to start a "business" about helping others to be creative in their proposals. Frankly, this cute couple went WAAAAAAAY down in my opinion. Their five minutes of fame seems to have gone straight to their heads.............gag.
I think some of the public proposals have been fun. I'm assuming the guy wouldn't go to such effort if he didn't feel pretty sure he'd get a "yes"! I don't see anything wrong with making your proposal "memorable".
I DO see something wrong with it going to your head and thinking you're SO special that you're looking for car deals, free wedding planners....and whatever else. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:38:25 PM | It would be a terrific practical joke though:
Your buddy is going on a third date with a woman to the ball game. You set it up so the proposal and ball park camera in set on them. It would take some doing. It would be even better if it was a long term girl friend he was planning on dumping. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:44:07 PM | I'm not a fan of those big public proposals either.
I enjoy watching a creative one on youtube, but I'm more the type "wanna get married?" "yeah, do you?" "yeah". "what time does city hall open tomorrow?" | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:47:00 PM | What? ^^^ I think I like you......but I also think you're a prick! :)
How many people would REALLY propose.....in PUBLIC.......if they thought the answer would be, "Nope! Y0u're a freak ball and I WON'T marry you!! :) "
I doubt many......
Edit: Oopps! I meant this post to # 11! | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 5:14:32 PM |
Maybe sometimes it's just the joy of
being in love and wanting to share it
with the whole world !
Love is a wonderful thing, don't knock it or mock it!
I am sorry, I think there are some sour grapes in here...just because you don't like it, doesn't mean that THEY don't like it... | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/19/2012 7:26:23 PM | I hope those sour grapes get their next marriage proposal by email.
LOL
As for me....I wouldn't want to put her on the spot with a crowd,
but if I go there again.....
it will be grand! | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/20/2012 12:08:15 AM |
The dozen roses sent to the workplace...oh, and the airplane circling the house with the "will you marry me" banner floating behind...after three months of dating. It was embarrassing...wonder where he is now?
Wow. Did this really happen to you MF?
I agree a lot of men do it to put pressure on their girlfriends to accept.
I've never asked a question like that without already knowing the answer. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:33:45 AM | Yup. True story. It was very over the top and ended up involving the whole neighborhood.
You hear a plane circling low overhead, you're going to have a look at what's going on right? Everyone's shouting, did she say yes?!?!
We'd only known each other three months...but the neighbors didn't know that ... and apparently he'd forgotten that important fact as well.
It was...an unfortunate situation.
MrsF | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:19:33 AM | what if I wanted to say no? I'd feel so trapped to say yes and not embarrass him and a bunch of other people. But to each their own. Some people find grand public displays of affection absolutely wonderful.
If you want impersonal, how bout the guy who FORGOT TO WRITE HIS WEDDING VOWS! | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:52:11 AM | That's always in the back of my head too - That sort of proposal would be overwhelming, I imagine. All eyes on the girl who might well feel pressured into saying Yes. If she doesn't, the focus is on the poor Groom, not the poor girl who probably feels awful for publicly turning him down. If she says Yes when she really wanted to say No, then she's got to speak up quickly and shatter the illusion.
Plus, although I can see the amount of organizing some of these proposals take, it's seems so impersonal. More like the effort has gone into the show rather then the meaning. Like it's a grand gesture of everyone else's benefit but the lady concerned. | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/20/2012 9:42:34 AM | I wouldnt mind the 'grand gesture' if we had discussed getting engaged as a next step and we both agreed it was a good move...then go for it, surprise me. But if the man hasnt indicated to his lady that he is thinking of this and proceeds in public, I feel sorry for him and at the same time I want to kick his butt for not discussing it ahead of time. That would be sooo embarassing for him, and what a spot to put the lady in if she is not thinking along the same lines.
When I see the ones where 'she said Yes' it always makes me smile though. Gotta take your happyness wherever you find it in this life! | |
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| Pretentious and Impersonal Marriage Proposals
Posted: 7/22/2012 5:48:10 AM | I think a BETTER option would be to plan a moment to ask your woman,
and hire a photographer to hide in the background.
Then he can photograph both of you as she says yes.
If she says no, then the ego is not as bruised.
Engagement is a personal thing between 2 people. | |
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