| | What's the awkward mojo with POF?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | This is really embarrassing to admit, but I've never had a date from POF...ever... Other sites have been much, much better. I even met somebody I dated for a year.
Is it because there are more people who are abusive or seedy on POF? I'm very conscious of trying to date within my age group, body type, child plan, etc., but it's like I'm radioactive or something and I don't get why POF is different than other sites...why so much sensitivity and scrutiny? There's just such a different vibe... Why? Any ideas? | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/19/2012 7:58:31 PM | | You've only been on here 1 month. Have you been in contact with any women? I tried Match and e harmony but got nowhere. I've chatted with & met several nice men from POF. I can't explain your lack of success but I'd suggest you stick with the other sites since you've had so much luck with them... | |
|
| |
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/19/2012 8:20:09 PM | | Yes, I've sent several messages - all being very genuinely interested in who I'm messaging...and nothing... There's just something different with POF and I'm trying to figure it out. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:01:59 PM | I have sent about 200+ and would say %99.5 go unanswered (unread/deleted or read/deleted).
I pretty much stop messaging.
I just hang out in the forums now....at least when I am at work.
I been on match for a while and its the same over there.
Oh well, I got lots of great trip planned so I will go alone. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:36:46 PM | | I've had lots of success w/ the others. On POF to cast a wider net, so to speak... I've had a few accounts here over time, but the results are always the same. Just curious why this place may be different... It's more curiosity than anything. (FWIW, I actually know people that got married after meeting on POF.) | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:37:46 AM | I can sort of agree. With the amount of people on this site one would think if would be easier to get a date. Now I've personally taken out a few in the past year but it does seem to be a lot harder for some reason. My take is this; the people on this site are more on the immature side compared to others,the amount of choices for women on this site is huge making them feel like they can find the perfect person which leads to a lot of our e-mails being ignored for simple reasons . Then they get upset when they can't find that "perfect" person and write in their profiles that they're no good men on this site,etc. I could go on but bottom line i believe is this;
Poor choices = poor results
If you're quick to judge and slow to change then your results will be the same every time. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:30:21 PM | | I'm ignored by lots of men here. Very few respond to contacts I initiate. The men I've met were not my first choice, nor did they light any fires for me. Can it be that you guys are setting the bar too high? | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:43:00 PM |
Can it be that you guys are setting the bar too high?
I'm not settle the bar to high at all, my bar is set to a realistic height and parameters.
I'd rather be single then to 'settle' for something I am not interested in.
Mass amounts of women do it to men in this state 24/7 so rail on men for it? | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/21/2012 12:06:53 PM |
guys are setting the bar too high?
I don't know about guys setting the bar to high but i know for sure in this time period of society women have set it high for men. Men have too be the aggressors(ask for a date) be the head of house holds, make the money, take care of the women so to speak and if we can't provide that we are looked upon as losers which is unfair because the woman in today's society can make just as much money or be as successful as any man but does not need to fit the role as provider. In short; old traditions/gender roles are still in place somewhat but society/women have changed way beyond that and yet men are still required to meet their gender roles. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/21/2012 5:33:34 PM | | Men still carry the old traditional stereotypes, too Mr. Singularity. And modern Hollywood, magazines, etc. have made things even worse for women. If a women isn't perfectly shaped, gorgous model-type with long hair - The guys don't even give her the time of day. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/21/2012 7:54:55 PM | [quote} If a women isn't perfectly shaped, gorgous model-type with long hair - The guys don't even give her the time of day. {/quote
With all due respect i disagree with you on some of that. Older men will carry some of the old gender roles when it comes to women but with the new generations that has died fast but not the gender roles of men in my opinion. As far as a women being perfectly shaped comment go's...well i could debate that all night long but i will say this; Men have loved women just the way they're and this go's all the way back to ancient roman times. Aphrodite did not look like a supermodel and was desired by all, even in world war two the pin up models that our troops desired were not skinny women. Not to start a debate but in my personal opinion women have caused the body image complex towards each other and not men. Now we're getting a shift the other way with women like Jenifer Lopez, Beyonce, Kim kardashian, etc. These women are curvy with some meat on their bones and you know what....men still desire them. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:08:30 PM | I have used POF off and on since about 2005. I have had a few dates and one relationship. Who's to say if they are better or worse than meeting people IRL? I work with the public so I get to meet plenty of people all the way around. I am not trying to find a relationship either, though, and I often wonder if that throws women off. Which is weird because you have to date before you can have a relationship - I get nervous when a woman starts off from square one gunning for exclusivity. Relationships are difficult work, and then things go bad, they often end poorly when people decide to get mean. So why the rush? That is what I keep thinking.
I would have to say most of my messages go unanswered, which is rude, really. Unless someone is being rude to you, there is no reason to be rude back. Or, as so many women ask in their bio, if a guy sends a couple of short paragraphs showing that he actually took the time to read your profile, that is really rude. I understand if people get burnt out, but then why be on here spreading the cranky vibe? I also wish women knew what a turn off it is to have this long list of reasons why they don't want someone.
Like I said, I have met some great people, and I look forward to hanging out with them. The rest though? Who knows. You can't meet anyone if you don't take a risk and messaging them back. In my mind there is no big risk in meeting someone for coffee... if it doesn't work it doesn't work. You both walk away, no harm no foul. I don't think everyone on here sees it the same way though. So I throttled back my bio, took a lot of the stuff out that made it look like I was bragging too hard, and am just having fun with it. This week I made mine in Spanish. Next week maybe French?
Oddly enough, I got the most hits when I changed my headline to 'I only go down on the first date' but nobody messaged me... hmm. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:24:59 PM | Sounds like you're having fun with it, Wrangler, you strike me as someone who's a lot of fun. If you're not having fun then why be here? That's my take
Older men will carry some of the old gender roles when it comes to women but with the new generations that has died fast
This is true as I've recently found out when I met someone from here ~ very happily surprised! | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 7/31/2012 7:44:04 PM | I can relate ! I am 99% of the time ignored by the men that I initiate contact with first.
I just accredit this to being a minority on a dating site. | |
|
| |
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/1/2012 2:59:06 PM | MSG 15 - I think men might be intimidated with you, not ignoring you.
They see a beautiful women and think its either a scam, stuck up or she has so many men to contend with she will never write back.
I have seen loads of very attractive women at the beach asked them out and got many dates.
For me on this site I have written many women that are very attractive and messages are usually unread/deleted so they might think they are wasting time to write to you.
So thats my input. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/1/2012 3:09:12 PM | That's too bad that men would think that because a beautiful woman contacts them that she can't be for real
Perhaps they should put that in their profiles ~ if you're a hot woman contacting me, I wasn't born yesterday, amscray, scammer | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:07:50 AM | | Like someone said already, women on this site get a lot of attention from the guys on here. I know someone said before that she had gotten over a 100 in just a few days of being on the website. So I'm sure with women getting that many messages, they'll sit there and find the hottest guys with the best jobs and yadda yadda yadda. | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/4/2012 11:05:51 AM | The pretty women are the ones that get most of the email. The rest kind of trickles down. Most, not all, of the email I got was from young men looking for a desperate old woman or from jerks straight up asking for sex which is the reason for the IE restrictions which do an excellent job of weeding most of the creepers out even if it keeps out some decent types too. Anyway, good thing I realized I'm not relationship and quit looking or my morale would be in the crapper.
As for POF being worse than the paid sites I think that's bull. I did no better on them. Besides most of the men on the paid sites are on here too so I assume it's the same with the women (the being on multiple sites thing). | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/4/2012 2:51:02 PM | | I don't think getting a lot of emails here is neccessarily a good thing ~ the grass isn't always greener :) | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/10/2012 12:11:02 AM | Not that it probably matters but, I'd certainly respond to you if you messaged me! ^___^ I don't think it has anything to do with you being a minority...if it is true, than those that are ignoring you are idiots and not worth your time anyway. I've never gotten a single message from anyone on here and I've been here for a few years now. No matter who I message, I never get a response so don't feel bad. I don't know what it is about a lot of the people on this site. Maybe they are looking for the perfect person but, they'll be looking for an awful long time...seeing as how no one is perfect. Good luck to us all!
-Alex | |
|
| What's the awkward mojo with POF?
Posted: 8/10/2012 9:19:29 PM | I ALWAYS reply to messages I receive. That's good manners, even if it's simply to say:
"Thank you for your letter. I appreciate your compliment. I don't think we make a good match. Good luck in your search."
Between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve I get 11-20 messages per week. It never fails. I think men panic, seeing another year passing by without a relationship. | |
|
| Hey Literate Hiker,
Posted: 8/10/2012 11:33:30 PM | Your response to this is both sensitive and classy. So, I checked out your profile and that is also classy. I'm impressed.
Mike | |
|
| |
Home
login 
