| | Guy's are more emotional than we thinkPage 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Guy's mostly like to portray the tough guy image...it's important to them, it's what makes them different from a woman.
The way some guy's greet their friend's is just amazing. They have arm's open wide, extend a huge long hug followed with a manly slap on the back...it's a guy thing.
For a man to see a woman cry ...sure it shakes him up a bit, but for a woman to see a man cry...it crushes her.
Why is this so?
Is it because a woman is more open to her feeling's and a man feel's he must suffer in silence? | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:04:29 AM | For a man to see a woman cry ...sure it shakes him up a bit, but for a woman to see a man cry...it crushes her.
Why is this so?
It's a role model that goes back to childhood.. Little girls expected that daddy was big and strong and would always protect them from the baddies out in the cold cruel world..
And he reinforced that for his little girls, let them cry and then told them it would be alright, he would protect them.
For the little boys, he toldem to buck up and take it like a man.. STFU with any bawlin, be stoic and silent or he would really whomp em..
So they learned different roles that extend into adulthood for many.
For a woman to see a man cry may be the ultimate disillusionment with her inculcated image of him as her "protector",
so she has to realize that she is ultimately responsible for her own safety and that no other human can really protect her from all harm in this uncertain world.
THAT seems to be why it may "crush" some women to see their man cry.. Men pay attention..
NEVER cry in front of your woman if you value that relationships future..
Copy Clint Eastwood and just grimace when bad things happen, go plug the bad guy and get even instead. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:11:46 AM | Males have been socially conditioned in most cultures, to grow into soldiers, when required.
Interesting though, how different cultures have invented and defined behaviors which they classify as masculine or feminine....why, in the Middle East it is common and accepted for males to walk down the street, hand in hand. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:38:55 AM | This is all in how we raise our children. We raise our boys to not cry, and we allow our girls to cry and then we comfort them.
When I say 'we', I mean society in general, some households try to make an effort not to do this anymore, but it is still very much the norm. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:44:09 AM | | and this is why suicide rates are higher for men,, anyway i have 2 boys and they really never cry they are both teens, they seem to go quiet or walk away if i give out to them, but never cry. its definitely a social issue! by the way i rarely give out to them because they are pretty good kids. my daughter on the other hand is 17 and she never stops crying, or showing emotion. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:49:14 AM | There have been times where I have WANTED to cry but COULDN'T !
I wanted to let it all out and it was just ... not in my able to do list I guess.
Damn conditioning ! | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:54:54 AM | | I always sort of do a double take when a woman is upset and someone, anyone, will rush to console her... as if she's having a kidney ripped out of her or something. Crying isn't painful; it doesn't hurt; it is releasing the hurt. Tears are a gift--not a burden. It is those you never see cry who carry the most pain; yet they are comforted the least. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 9:11:37 AM | "There have been times where I have WANTED to cry but COULDN'T !"
Well, I am female. The only time I cry is if someone has died or is suffering through a terminal disease.
I came to realize decades ago that crying isn't a release for me, and just gives me a headache. My release is figuring out a way to fix whatever the problem is, then doing what needs to be done. Crying imo just slows the fixing process.
I can see when something very important happens ie. baby born having tears of happiness.
Imo, tears of frustration is something to grow out of when you mature.
Feeling happy is an emotion I feel most of the time. Feeling frustrated with a situation I feel as well, but I see no reason to turn it into a crying drama.
"It is those you never see cry who carry the most pain; yet they are comforted the least."
My personal experience disagrees with that statement. Ie. when my late husband died, of course I was grieving. No one could fix that situation. No amounts of attempts to comfort in a situation like that can give comfort. When someone wanted me to cry so they could hug me in an attempt to make me feel better, I just felt that they wanted to be part of a drama. What was helpful was friend who truly loved me who would invite me out to dinner or to do fun things. This is the type of thing that people need to personally go through to understand. All the empty but well meaning words meant nothing. The only words I appreciate were "I don't know what to say". | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 9:11:49 AM | i think it's more genetic than social conditioning. either through design or evolution whichever you believe in men are the hunters, warriors and first line protectors for tribes and societies. men have needed to face danger for the sake of there families and communities. so i think there is a disconnect between emotions and actions the women don't have for the sake of doing things in spite of fear. a man with a hard shell may or may not be more desirable but at a time in history not too long ago it was a part of survival. if a man couldn't act in spite of fear he didn't last, and it's hard to reproduce when you are dead so that's what you're left with.
obviously men have emotions. sometimes very strong. it's just the things that we do when we feel them are very different. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 9:28:31 AM | Why does it affect a woman so? well, what does it mean to her? does it mean she lost her "rock", her stability? If she was her own stability, didn't need it from a guy...would it crush her, then?
we "mourn" in some form or another, when we lose something we don't give to ourselves. if we provided it to ourselves, it wouldn't be such a loss, so we wouldn't feel so strong about it, like when we mourn.
Its like when you criticize an issue, and someone strongly defends it against your critism. Its pretty much a guarantee, they are in fact defending something they define their identity by. that's why they react so strongly to your criticism. If you wanted to know that person better, congrats, you just got an opportunity :) | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 11:20:59 AM | Every time I try to cry, my balls start cringing and I hear a voice inside my skull yelling in a military tone
"GROW A PAIR, MAGGOT!!"
Hence, I keep my though guy image  lol | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 11:52:39 AM |
I always sort of do a double take when a woman is upset and someone, anyone, will rush to console her... as if she's having a kidney ripped out of her or something. Crying isn't painful; it doesn't hurt; it is releasing the hurt. Tears are a gift--not a burden. It is those you never see cry who carry the most pain; yet they are comforted the least.
Thought-provoking. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 11:55:03 AM |
men protect, women nurture.
I don't agree.
On the outside of society, yes, it seems to be that way..but if you look deeper I think it's the opposite.
Who is usually the first to protect their young? In nature and in the human society? The women. Lionesses are the ones to protect their babies, not the male...
Men I belive are more nurturing because they try to 'take care' of the women/family, they are the providers, make sure the fmaily is safe, make sure everyone has what they need (i'm talking in general, not in every case)...
To me..the man is taking on a more nurturing role, where as the women is taking on the protector role...
So whenever I hear that women are the weaker sex, more emotional, more nurturing..it makes me sick...women are some of the most cruelest species on earth...(and yes I know, most wont agree..but it's my opinion)
Men are the ones who are patient and listen to our crap, they hug us when we are sad, they'll give us the shirt off their back..just so we are 'taken care of'...just so we are 'nurtured'...and if a man does this, you just watch the women, she'll protect that man with her life... | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 11:58:50 AM | | During my childhood, if I got upset with my parents and started crying, I was told "If you want to cry, I'll give you a real reason to cry. So you better stop crying or else". But when my sister got upset and started crying, my mother consoled her and felt bad for her. That attitude was and probably still is quite common. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 12:11:38 PM | During my childhood, if I got upset with my parents and started crying, I was told "If you want to cry, I'll give you a real reason to cry. So you better stop crying or else". But when my sister got upset and started crying, my mother consoled her and felt bad for her. That attitude was and probably still is quite common.
LMAO Sounds familiar.
Are you my long lost brother or something? I think we had the same dad...
BUT most men cry thru their penis...
LMAO Uhhhh....well something comes out lady, but I can GUARANTEE you it isnt water ;-) | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 12:28:05 PM | there are a select few out here who are able to show some kind of real emotion an know that its normal..
BUT most men cry thru their penis...
guess that would explain why you see some ads that say just got dumped or going through a divorce looking for some hot fun or nsa sex to get my mind off of her.. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:33:10 PM | Men get pooped on for showing emotional volitility in the same way that women get sharted on for exhibiting promiscuity. Women may think that they want an emo guy, and sometimes, I'm sure it would be nice to know your man has at LEAST enough emotional flexibility to be empathetic.
However, when a woman is:
Scared
Hopeless
Sad
Minstrel
Angry
Lonely
Or the like...most I've encountered would rather have a solid strong man with strong solid shoulders to lean on and strong solid logic to move forward where the path isn't readily apparent. Having to compete with your man for the mantle of femininity of the relationship is like a man who has to compete with his woman for the masculine role; no fun whatsoever. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:46:28 PM |
Men are the ones who are patient and listen to our crap, they hug us when we are sad, they'll give us the shirt off their back..just so we are 'taken care of'...just so we are 'nurtured'...and if a man does this, you just watch the women, she'll protect that man with her life...
Msg 14..........Thanks for a great post. I never thought of it that way, but you are absolutely correct IMO. I believe men are just as emotional as women, but men a pressured more by society to NOT show it. Women are considered more emotional.........but that's only because we are NOT pressured to hide our emotions. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:22:45 PM | Yes i do think its social conditioning, have grown up with none of these role models described and thats
why i dont have this men are this and women are that.
I do cry when something upsets me deeply, but i wouldnt think any less of a man who does the same or see this in a different light.
But its interesting for me how some people view these things through their social conditioning. It baffles me to be honest, not negative, but nontheless baffling for me. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:37:58 PM | This topic interests me. I used to be surprised at the emotions that underlie the typical masculine tough image, but now I am not. Some are more in touch with it than others, but every man has a rich emotional world that he shares with only a chosen few. I like being someone that others trust to confide in, especially those for whom this may not come naturally and with men (in general) that is normally the case. To be given entrance to his private emotional world and as a result, a glimpse of his soul.. is a huge part of what draws me in romantically.
Some guys you just can't go there with, because it's a depth that even he doesn't want to delve to. Thanks Op, this thread has helped me to put a certain something into perspective :) | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:43:30 PM |
To be given entrance to his private emotional world and to get a glimpse of his soul is part of what draws me in romantically.
Its different foreveryone. Personnally, my life has been incredibly scarred by very violent experiences I had when I was a kid, some of which I was even told a lot of professionnal police officer or soldiers havent lived through. As such...I dont open easily. It`s not that I`m not very emotionnal, I still cry watching Finding Nemo! But I don`t share with a lot of people. My soul right now is a small, shriveled little hurt thing that is deathly afraid to open up and get shotgunned again...
While I dont think this is the case of most men, I know a few that lived said experiences with me that turned the same way. Some are very drunk today, others have other demons. Thankfully I managed to avoid the bigger ones, but it gave its way to emotionnal insecurity and a very hard time trusting anyone for anything more than basic every day stuff. I was often enough reproched by previous girlfriends that I was like a rock, that I didnt care about anything, which was FAR from the case, I rpobably cared more than they did. But I fear so much openning up, because it opens up the way to backlash, even unintentionnal. And as soon as I get hurt emotionnally, I usually react very violently. It hasnt happenned in a long time, and also I always isolate myself when it happens, but its a consequences of past experiences I had to learn to live with.
Hope this sheds some lights for a few people on here who feel the same way or live through the same thing. But its something that`s manageable in everyday life, and its also something that, believe it or not, gets better with time. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:48:29 PM |
Personnally, my life has been incredibly scarred by very violent experiences I had when I was a kid, some of which I was even told a lot of professionnal police officer or soldiers havent lived through. As such...I dont open easily. It`s not that I`m not very emotionnal, I still cry watching Finding Nemo! But I don`t share with a lot of people. My soul right now is a small, shriveled little hurt thing that is deathly afraid to open up and get shotgunned again... Believe me, I understand what you are saying. I have quite the past myself.
Maybe as a result, I tend to attract men who ordinarily don't open up emotionally, but somehow feel safe enough to do so with me? I'm not entirely sure why, but I do feel grateful. I always feel so honored to have been given such a glimpse into who a man is right down to his core. | |
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