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| | The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Hello everyone,
Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Recently I broke things off with the girl that I was seeing and I guess I need to pick the mind of the more experienced and well versed folk here to see what you guys would have done in my position.
The background:
A few months ago I met this great girl, let's call her Ashley. We met through my business partner at a few months ago while out on the town. She was seeing someone, so was I, but a few months later (April) we happened to bump into each other when we were both single. We had a spark (don't we all?) and things hit off. She was interested, so was I, we all got along very well.
We shared interests in music and going out, watch the same shows, have similar hobbies, but more importantly we had chemistry. Next thing I know we're seeing each other 3-4 times a week, she's buying me gifts, introducing me to her family, coming to sleep over at my house several nights a week. She was wise beyond her years and was certainly more impressive than most girls I'd met who are my age.
She was interested in watching me play sports, wanted to take an active role in my life, even bought me tickets to see my favourite DJ here in town just for me because he knew I missed him because his show was cancelled in Las Vegas which I had tickets for.
Everything was going great until it wasn't.
The problem:
Her friends. Her best friends are wild and about a month ago her friend met and started schtepping one of the DJs from one of the local clubs here in town. While Ashley and her friends had always enjoyed going out (and I would go out with them half of the time) they were exposed to a "new world" so to speak - suddenly they were getting introduced to all the DJs, being invited into the DJ booths, into the backrooms, getting into clubs without paying cover. While she was still treating me well, I could tell that things were starting to change.
As soon as school was out for the summer she went out to 3 events (not consecutive nights) without me. This started to raise a red flag. During this span of events I'd met her family and the night before the third event, I'd actually taken her out to my family's cottage out on the water, cooked her dinner, we had a great night. She was still excitable as always.
On the third night I happened to be at a restaurant nearby and told her I would stop by - she kind of discouraged me from coming in. Big red flag. Also, when she went out, I previously would kind of get text updates in terms of what she was up to but those kind of started to gradually diminish.
Two days after that was Canada Day, we tentatively had plans to meet up, but she ended up working late, so we left the evening open, she asked me what I was up to - I said nothing really, she opted to meet up with her best friend and went to a bar - not extending an invitation to come.
The following day my parents split up (this will be relevant later).
On her days off I didn't hear from her much despite the fact that she was in my neighbourhood. Maybe this is because she knew I was getting edgy and concerned about how she had been behaving the few days previous. After discussing things with her she said it was because she was with her best friend - that she knew we are kind of like oil and vinegar. I asked her if she still wanted to go with me to the concert she bought me tickets to she said yes. I took the time to explain to her that with my business thing going sideways and what happened with my parents that the night was pretty important to me.
All of which brings me to the big night: When we got to the afterparty for the concert - for all intents and purposes I didn't see her the entire time. She "ditched me" for lack of a better term to hang out and socialized with the DJs, promoters, and VIP hosts and didn't introduce me to them. At one point she told me she was going to check her jacket in, and I was left there waiting for her, I ended up seeing her outside socializing with the bouncer.
I was livid and embarrassed.
The Confrontation:
She was extremely apologetic, but in the end I don't think that makes much of a difference. It seemed like she didnt' want these DJ guys to know that I was there because it would upset the apple cart and her social standing so to speak.
Like any relationship our relationship was contingent on trust, that's part of the reason I was so comfortable with her going out - I was no longer comfortable with that.
I confronted her about how embarrassing it was for me to be with my friends all night long, having them ask me where she was and having to respond "No clue" and that I found it to be really disrespectful that I told her how important that night was to me with everything that had happened that week, and that I was really let down.
Her response whittled down to as few words as possible was: "It's not you, it's me. Maybe we should just be friends then." She said she felt a lot of pressure from her best friend who was pulling her in one direction and I was pulling her in another, and that this was her summer, she was going to be a bit wild, and that she was going to party. She admitted what she did wasn't very cool, but that she doesn't really have her head screwed on straight right now.
That's really all she wrote (no pun intended) - when someone says something like that there is really nothing else to say. It seemed like she wanted to have it all - the guy who would wait around for her that she could come home to while going out and having the perks.
It seems to me that when it came to making a judgement call she chose these DJs and promoters over hanging out with me.
Since we broke things off she's been going out a TON - she's added all of these promo guys to facebook (I've since deleted her because I don't want to see what she's up to).
It's disappointing to me that they will treat her like a piece of meat most likely and cast her aside when it suits them. She's a great girl and she will be hurting when that eventually happens. Such is the life with the revolving door of club rats, dj groupies, and club sluts.
My thoughts:
You can't really stop people from doing what they want to do. If I'd invited myself out every night with her I would be called paranoid and overbearing. Ultimately people will do what they want.
The hardest part for me in all of this was how absolutely great and amazing she was - I had no reason to suspect anything - but the significance of flaking off on a night which was important to me, not thinking of it, leaving me standing there - is not something easily forgotten.
It's hard to grasp how someone so great could be such a****at the same time. She's young, fickle, and things will happen, but she really let me down. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 6:08:56 PM | I do not condone what she did, but it is a style of breaking up.
Some people cannot stand to directly say "I don't want to see you again."
They throw out verbal hints.
And/or they hint with their behavior -- inattentiveness, lack of consideration.
When directly confronted, they'll continue to deny anything is wrong, but continue to pull away.
They want you to do the dumping.
They think this makes them a kind person.
If you don't pick up on the hints
(if you listen to the nice words instead of the nasty actions),
the behavior will escalate.
This kind, sensitive person will treat you so badly that (to their mind) anybody with any self-respect WOULD cut them loose.
Sorry you ran into one of those.
It's extremely common, but next time you will pick up on it sooner.
Your important day was just the opening she needed to make her feelings very clear without having to say it, by letting you down; disrespecting you; ditching you.
One guy I knew got out of his engagement by not going to see his fiancee after she had surgery... he knew she was terrified to have the surgery, and would have liked to have him there. So he got the point across by not going to see her at all while she was in the hospital
They tell themselves they're being cruel to be kind.
Really though, they're selfish, common, cowardly liars. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 6:31:21 PM | Your lifestyle and priorities are different. She prioritized her friends and nightlife over you. Its time to move on.
Next time try finding someone whose lifestyle, values & priorities mesh with yours.
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 6:48:53 PM | Owch.
That's a lot to learn at once.
I can fully understand your thought process.
You have a good grasp on what is going on, and you know what you have to do.
However you have to get those feelings and thoughts out.
It looks like you are.
You're absolutely right.
On the night that you really needed someone, there was no one there.
That's a horrible way to treat a friend.
Unfortunately she will end up as you stated.
That is what you call Karma.
What you give, you will receive.
Except you can see it happen and she is so intense on her right now.
She has to learn her lesson to move forward in life,
And this is her lesson to learn.
You can just watch. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 6:57:36 PM |
Your lifestyle and priorities are different. She prioritized her friends and nightlife over you. Its time to move on.
Next time try finding someone whose lifestyle, values & priorities mesh with yours.
I wouldn't say our lifestyles are different, though our priorities are similar but different.
I like to party, I like to party a lot. I just got back from a 3 day electronic dance music festival in Las Vegas, the biggest in North America. I know how to do it up.
The reality is she and I had a ton of fun together, but the goals of her friend and what her friend wants to do isn't really compatible with being in a relationship with me. Her friend wants to schmooze, get in with the DJs and the girl went along for the ride and got drawn in and couldn't say no.
Ultimately, her hanging out with all these groupies and promoters concerned me to the point where I had to break it off because both she and I knew that one day something would happen and I wouldn't be okay with it. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 7:07:58 PM |
Owch.
That's a lot to learn at once.
I can fully understand your thought process.
You have a good grasp on what is going on, and you know what you have to do.
However you have to get those feelings and thoughts out.
It looks like you are.
You're absolutely right.
On the night that you really needed someone, there was no one there.
That's a horrible way to treat a friend.
Unfortunately she will end up as you stated.
That is what you call Karma.
What you give, you will receive.
Except you can see it happen and she is so intense on her right now.
She has to learn her lesson to move forward in life,
And this is her lesson to learn.
You can just watch.
Sadly - it is what it is. I'll have to sit by and watch as much as I don't want to. You hit it on the head "On the night that I really needed someone, there was no one there."
To have such a confluence of events on a night that was so incredibly important to me - was heartbreaking. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 7:14:39 PM | | The hardest part for me was meeting her family - showing up at her house and her coming up to me and saying "I have a plate set aside for you for dinner with all your favourite stuff" and a week later just hanging out in the hot tub and cooking dinner together... literally 6 days later it was like I didn't exist. Such a dramatic 180 so quickly blew my mind. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 8:26:11 PM |
So you are upset because the wrong girl let you go? move on.
Really? Are you kidding?
Yeah I know she was the wrong girl, but I'm disappointed because I spent 3 months of my time with her and got to like her and I didn't see this coming. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:42:35 PM | | stuff happens man, its a shame. ive known a lot of women like this. like you say, they wanna be able to party, and still have that bf there when its convenient for them. i know she seemed great, and in many ways maybe she was, but youll be better off with someone different. good luck to you. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/22/2012 10:25:21 PM | I'm sorry this happened to you, I know it sucks. You seem pretty intelligent and down to earth- good call to break it off before things got worse.
I'm disappointed because I spent 3 months of my time with her and got to like her and I didn't see this coming.
Be happy it wasn't 3 years. 3 months is nothing in the scheme of things. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:18:16 AM | 3 months is a relatively short time, it's still the getting to know someone phase. if you find it was "Wasted" time, it was never the girl you really cared about, but the fact of having someone period. you said she was young? Maybe this girl wasn't hiding anything from you but jumped at the chance to experience this life style, it was something new to her, maybe the novelty would have worn off quickly.
I know it sounds like you broke up at a time when you needed support, but perhaps she was feeling like you were being too needy? I've been on the opposite side (her side) of a similar situation, i wasn't hiding anything i was just out with friends having fun, doing what i always did before the guy come along, within weeks he tried to put a stop to that, i wasn't just going to stop my lifestyle because he expected me too, instead I ended up miserable and feeling stifled, pulled in two totally different direction, so i did what she did, it just wasn't working. You can't blame her totally, somewhere along the lines yo really do need to look at how your actions were making her feel whether you meant it or not.
either way take it as a lesson in life, use things learnt from this relationship to help with your approach to future relationships. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:34:36 AM | This is solely my opinion and i know many will not agree, but its my point of view.
Im not to sure about the last relationship she was in, but you could have possibly been a rebound. You said she was seeing someone and started dating you a couple months later. The way she was soooo into you is a red flag sometimes.. "I said sometimes. lol" Watching you play sports, sleeping over 3-4 times a week, and dinner with the parents so soon is not a realistic linear way that I believe a lasting relationship with a women starts out. It seems like the traditional trying to feel an empty void after a break-up and than her feeling changed, A-La Rebound.
While Ashley and her friends had always enjoyed going out (and I would go out with them half of the time) they were exposed to a "new world" so to speak - suddenly they were getting introduced to all the DJs, being invited into the DJ booths, into the backrooms, getting into clubs without paying cover. While she was still treating me well, I could tell that things were starting to change
This wasn't you verses the nightlife. This was the "Man" test and you lost. Let me ask you a question? Would your girlfriend approve of you being surrounded by women that are interested in you? Hotter than her, compound with alcohol, music, and ATTENTION . Not any straight headed woman....Hells No. The key point is, where you were suppose to be a MAN you did not exercise that and you allowed her to go out with her friends and be seduced by men with more power and pull than you do and in such and early stage of the relationship. You should have told her that you did not feel comfortable her going out without you. If she did, get pissed.
In part I blame you. Why? Because you probably wont let this happen again. If not ever.
You probably don't want to hear that, but I don't wanna sugar coat it. She walked all over you and you allowed it.
This started to raise a red flag. During this span of events I'd met her family and the night before the third event, I'd actually taken her out to my family's cottage out on the water, cooked her dinner, we had a great night. She was still excitable as always.
I never ever...ever everrrrrr heard from one of my friends who are girls, crying over some guy who did the things you described above. I sure can sell gallons of tears from girls who cried over guys who didnt do the shit above. What am i saying? I wish I can see more men work on everything other than being romantic and 'nice'
Her response whittled down to as few words as possible was: "It's not you, it's me.
That's code for its you, not me.
Maybe we should just be friends
That is code for im not sexually attracted to you anymore, but you can still fill my emotional needs. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 12:58:28 AM | Sorry "bro" I refuse to buy into your cynicism. While I agree that whole "it's not you it's me thing" - yeah it's her. She pulled a b!tch move, it was unethical, it wasn't nice, it wasn't something a decent person would do.
In regards to it being a "man test" are you kidding me? She let me go out all the time knowing I'd be surrounded by hot chicks - hell half of the time she was out - I was out somewhere else with my buddies. The reality is that I am a trustworthy person. If I'd pulled what you had suggested I would have been told I was a "control freak" and "possessive" - the reality is that in a healthy relationship two people should be able to trust each other. Speaking for myself, going out isn't a realistic thing for me, between work, school, working out and trying to stay well rested, going out all the time isn't in the cards for me - telling her to stay in isn't a realistic thing.
The reality is that when things crossed into a realm of discomfort for me - when I felt that she was pushing the boundaries of what was cool and fair, I did let her know, and eventually I did get pissed off at her for it and for all intents and purposes kind of told her where the boundaries lied.
Guess what? She chose going out over me.
Sorry bro - if you want a girl who you can control and dictate terms to all the time, that's not my idea of a healthy relationship.
WHAT IS A HEALTHY relationship is a person who will want to spend time with you and won't ditch you like this chicks does. I'm a pretty prime catch, I'm relatively successful, decently educated, good looking, in good shape... I come from an affluent family, I'm a nice guy, and I have good values. She decided that she would rather hang out with a bunch of seedy club promoters at this junction in her life. That's her choice.
In so far as girls that shed tears over guys that don't do that stuff? That's fine. I enjoy doing nice things for the girls that I'm seeing - I enjoy seeing smiles on their faces. It makes me a nice person and at the end of the day I get a lot more value out of knowing I'm a nice guy, than being the guy who's a****but gets laid every weekend.
That's where my priorities are at. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 1:01:47 AM |
I know it sounds like you broke up at a time when you needed support, but perhaps she was feeling like you were being too needy? I've been on the opposite side (her side) of a similar situation, i wasn't hiding anything i was just out with friends having fun, doing what i always did before the guy come along, within weeks he tried to put a stop to that, i wasn't just going to stop my lifestyle because he expected me too, instead I ended up miserable and feeling stifled, pulled in two totally different direction, so i did what she did, it just wasn't working. You can't blame her totally, somewhere along the lines yo really do need to look at how your actions were making her feel whether you meant it or not.
I have hypothesized about this - but the reality is I didn't ask really for anything over the duration of our dating except for to be able to spend time with her that night.
I never once asked her to not go out, or to stay in with me while I was doing work, nothing. In my experience, you can't tell someone to give up what's important to them. If you're at that juncture, it's not going to work, you're better off heading your own way.
No I can't blame her for what she did - but I can blame her for how she handled it. I'm a pretty open minded person, I'm always open to listening, heck, the night before the party I even straight up asked her if she would rather go with someone else because I would rather not go than go and have an awkward evening - guess what happened? | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 2:09:10 AM | I dont believe it to be cynicism, but by all means like I said its my opinion. She was highly attracted to you in the beginning and it fell off somewhere and she was too scared to tell you so she acted out. In a healthy relationship two people should trust each other...but its 3 month? and a hint of 'control' and a hint of 'possessiveness' is attractive to a woman. Women want to see a range of emotions.
Man test. Trust me, almost all stable women pull the man test and every woman has a different test. It can be talking about another man to see how you react or test to see if you just want sex. In this case you were in a club and she completely ditched you and then what? You eventually got pissed? Come on man? You can trust her..but you obviously trust the men she was around as well.
Good looks, prime catch, educated and good shape HAS nothing to do with falling in love guy or winning the girl. Might widen the selection.. but you make it sound like the formula for external bliss. Not everyone is good looking, educated, and a prime catch and i've seen more of them in love with their partner. So rethink your statement. :)
Funny how now the music and entertainment you love...has now became a seedy place or a place with questionable promoters. I dont think this girl was a mean ****, women have a hard time telling someone they dont feel for you anymore. Yeah, sometimes they do and others do immature things, but what ever you were doing was not attractive to her anymore. The minute she ditched you in the club I would have just dumped her on the spot.
I wont be angry(not for long), I would of course have feeling for her still, but let her go. Recover for however long it takes and get back into the game.
Who said anything about being an ***hole and getting laid every weekend. I believe there are three types of guys.
The nice guys (you)
The bad guys and
the guys who F-ing get it (a blend of nice and bad)
Hopefully, you'll get it or at least post a thread and maybe expect that people will post things that are not what you want to hear or see. :) | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 11:46:06 AM |
I dont believe it to be cynicism, but by all means like I said its my opinion. She was highly attracted to you in the beginning and it fell off somewhere and she was too scared to tell you so she acted out. In a healthy relationship two people should trust each other...but its 3 month? and a hint of 'control' and a hint of 'possessiveness' is attractive to a woman. Women want to see a range of emotions.
Man test. Trust me, almost all stable women pull the man test and every woman has a different test. It can be talking about another man to see how you react or test to see if you just want sex. In this case you were in a club and she completely ditched you and then what? You eventually got pissed? Come on man? You can trust her..but you obviously trust the men she was around as well.
Good looks, prime catch, educated and good shape HAS nothing to do with falling in love guy or winning the girl. Might widen the selection.. but you make it sound like the formula for external bliss. Not everyone is good looking, educated, and a prime catch and i've seen more of them in love with their partner. So rethink your statement. :)
Funny how now the music and entertainment you love...has now became a seedy place or a place with questionable promoters. I dont think this girl was a mean ****, women have a hard time telling someone they dont feel for you anymore. Yeah, sometimes they do and others do immature things, but what ever you were doing was not attractive to her anymore. The minute she ditched you in the club I would have just dumped her on the spot.
I wont be angry(not for long), I would of course have feeling for her still, but let her go. Recover for however long it takes and get back into the game.
Who said anything about being an ***hole and getting laid every weekend. I believe there are three types of guys.
The nice guys (you)
The bad guys and
the guys who F-ing get it (a blend of nice and bad)
Hopefully, you'll get it or at least post a thread and maybe expect that people will post things that are not what you want to hear or see. :)
In my own way laying out my expectations for the evening was my own way of testing her - a few days before the concert I told her I wasn't wild her friend was coming.
'Lo and behold her friend was a mess, dragging the girl I was seeing around all night long. Thus, I can't hold the girl I was seeing entirely responsible. However, that wasn't a situation I wanted to get stuck in.
Also - so far as your commentary about how music and entertainment I like is now seedy? I don't hang out with the promoters, the DJs, and I have the ability to go sober (which I do often) - the guys they are hanging out with now are promoting more drug use on top of what they were doing already which was kind of sketchballs. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 11:46:45 AM |
"It's not you, it's me. Maybe we should just be friends then."
Tell her no...I dont have friends like you..and walk away
Pretty much exactly what I said. Who needs enemies when you have friends that will ditch you. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 9:08:13 PM | | Well written first post, OP. As others have mentioned, maybe she just wasn't that into you. Another possibility, especially since she seemed to experience a fairly drastic personality change, could she have started abusing drugs with her "friends"? MDMA for example, still popular on the club scene, is associated with physical and psychological addiction. Regardless, try to stop dwelling on this. Move forward. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 9:58:40 PM | Just happened to me buddy and I dated this girl for 2 years and all she talked about was wanting to have my kids and marry me Monday through Thursday, but nowhere to be found but the clubs and not answering her phone on weekends. She's younger and immature. Just move on man and look for a girl more serious. Don't give her credit like you do saying, "she really is a good girl." SHE'S A SLUT WHO DOESN'T HAVE GOOD FRIENDS! Her friends would respect you and tell her to stay in with you or go out with you if they were real friends. Funny thing is when I broke up with my girl I made it a point to bury her wingman so called girlfriend. I told the guy she supposedly loves EVERY GUY SHE"S SLEPT WITH IN THE PAST 2 MONTHS INCLUDING HIS BEST FRIEND!!!! I PISSED THEM ALL OFF. SHE RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP SO I FELT IT ONLY NECESSARY TO RUIN HERS. Focus on your business also man. No women can replace $ and toys.
Good luck in the future. We support you. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:01:19 PM |
Well written first post, OP. As others have mentioned, maybe she just wasn't that into you. Another possibility, especially since she seemed to experience a fairly drastic personality change, could she have started abusing drugs with her "friends"? MDMA for example, still popular on the club scene, is associated with physical and psychological addiction. Regardless, try to stop dwelling on this. Move forward.
She very much was into me - moreso than any other girl I've ever met. She did things for me and with me that my ex-fiancee wouldn't do.
But you did hit on a key point which was drugs - she started doing more and more of them. I'm not going to lie - I do them too, but I also know how to police myself (and since the night where things went awry, I've been bone sober from alcohol and drugs of any kind to get my head back on right), but she kept escalating and pushing it.
Part of the reason she broke things off was because she thought I was being "critical" when in reality I was really just getting worried about her health and the fact she was burning things at both ends of the stick. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:03:01 PM |
Just happened to me buddy and I dated this girl for 2 years and all she talked about was wanting to have my kids and marry me Monday through Thursday, but nowhere to be found but the clubs and not answering her phone on weekends. She's younger and immature. Just move on man and look for a girl more serious. Don't give her credit like you do saying, "she really is a good girl." SHE'S A SLUT WHO DOESN'T HAVE GOOD FRIENDS! Her friends would respect you and tell her to stay in with you or go out with you if they were real friends. Funny thing is when I broke up with my girl I made it a point to bury her wingman so called girlfriend. I told the guy she supposedly loves EVERY GUY SHE"S SLEPT WITH IN THE PAST 2 MONTHS INCLUDING HIS BEST FRIEND!!!! I PISSED THEM ALL OFF. SHE RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP SO I FELT IT ONLY NECESSARY TO RUIN HERS. Focus on your business also man. No women can replace $ and toys.
Good luck in the future. We support you.
Yeah her best friend definitely came between us - where I was only concerned about her - her friend was only worried about herself and was taking the girl I was dating down with her down a dark path.
It's all good man - I appreciate your kind words of support. The day will come when she would need a nice person like me - but unfortunately, I won't forget something like this. | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:38:35 PM | You mentioned that she was younger but more mature than most her age or something like that? You didn't give her age, so how young was she?
I think you only wanted to see her mature side, but unfortunately the reality eventually shows...
She's not ready to be in ANY relationship. And in that regard, she was right that it "wasn't you". | |
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| The choice between me and the nightlife - I lost.
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:41:29 PM |
You mentioned that she was younger but more mature than most her age or something like that? You didn't give her age, so how young was she?
I think you only wanted to see her mature side, but unfortunately the reality eventually shows...
She's not ready to be in ANY relationship. And in that regard, she was right that it "wasn't you".
This is the consensus that I came to on my own after some time. While she was mature around me - I came to expect that as the "normal" when in reality how she was around me was the "exception". I started to expect how she acted around me in general, not realizing that isn't really who she is - at least, not around other people.
I also concluded that while she does genuinely care about me - she cares more right now about living her life to the extreme and experiencing as many things as possible. Being older than her - those are going to be some things that, having experienced before, I'd have to bow out and say no to because I know they don't go to good places.
She's 20. | |
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