| | married/separated/Divorced now what?Page 1 of 1 | I have a girl friend who was seeing a married guy, we told her all along it would end in heart break and told her to break it off. It turned into 3 years of on and off sex.
Now he says he is separated and going to get a divorce (but lives in the same house as his ex just different parts of the house) I told her she is kidding herself he wont commit to her. He had a pattern of yo-yoing, plus they met and had an affair (shows he cant be trusted in my opinion)
I told her you cant trust him!! opinions? | |
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| married/separated/Divorced now what?
Posted: 7/23/2012 7:42:58 PM | Good Morning CPCPCP
Totally agree with you..this story aint going to have a fairytale ending.... your friend is kidding herself
First of all he is a cheater (and before everyone jumps down my throat - yes women cheat too - so Im not gender bashing here - just that its a guy in this story... ok)....Once a cheater (irrespective of gender) always a cheater..Ive yet to see that statement proved wrong....
Even in the remote posibility that they get together on a permanent basis (they won't)..well when a mistress fills the position left by the wife, they leave a job vacancy for the role of mistress.....- and your friend will be spending every second she is away from her man, wondering what his doing, who with, where etc etc etc...wow like thats the relationship you want to have... rite !!!
Every so often I know that two people meet (one or both are already partnered) - their worlds collide and they just cant help it..they NEED to be with each other - and they do break with their former partners to do so..yes they create chaos in their former partners lives, ...our heart dictates who we love..rarely does our brain...I understand this attraction - this pull..I dont condone it but I understand it, but in your friends case, lets be honest, shes been the on the side f**** for the past three years and happy to be so..Im sure shes not thrilled with the choice she has made...., but in the three years they have been seeing each other... - well her actions speak louder than any words she has used.
Now he has split with his wife (for reasons unknown) but I doubt it is over her, and if this bloke wanted to be with your friend...then he would be....If I learnt anything about men in my life..if a guy wants to be with you, he will move heaven and earth to do so.....
Your friend is delusional if she thinks anything will come of them, just because his now split with his wife..she will be what she she has always been...a covenient on call f*** puppet......the question here is...is that what she is prepared to be in the future ? ... we can only judge her by her past actions, so we have to say Yes.....
What your girlfriend really needs is a reality check which I think shes about to get...and a s**load of self esteem - a good kick up the back side...and a course in learning how to love yourself first......
And what he needs...... is a good therapist to explore why he does what he does (methinks this is not a real issue for him anyway) and a women to say No to him..and mean it... | |
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| married/separated/Divorced now what?
Posted: 7/24/2012 1:25:10 AM | I have seen this so many times, mostly with women I have dated. All they talk about is the married guy who doesn't want them so they are branching out and letting go. Only thing is, they aren't letting go. All they talk about is the married guy in their life.
They don't get a call back.
Go get the married guy to pay for your dinner. Call me back when you're single...both emotionally and pysically. | |
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| married/separated/Divorced now what?
Posted: 7/24/2012 1:29:14 AM | | I doubt it will end happily...but maybe she needs it to be bad to learn that it's not the right thing to do. Life is all about learning from our mistakes. | |
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| married/separated/Divorced now what?
Posted: 7/24/2012 1:40:20 AM | | of course she can't trust him, but then again how can you trust a women who would knowingly become involved with a married man. As much as heart break sucks, i have no sympathy for women who knowingly seek out a married man. | |
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| married/separated/Divorced now what?
Posted: 7/25/2012 4:48:35 AM | Its sad and will be a disaster..anyone can see that.
I feel so sad for the wife too, if she or when she finds out.
Marrieds should be off limits in any sense. I find is sad when I see married people looking for no strings fun as it lways ends in pain,, been enough broken marriages and broken families,... trusst for all parties, and it makes it harder if the wife gets divorced and later down the track wants to meet someone and finds that no one wants to date a divorced lady.... and it goes on..
But whats done is done, and you may find 'learning' from others mistakes may not be on the cards, some people have to make their mistakes despite evidence and warning and gentle nudges from loyal freinds | |
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| married/separated/Divorced now what?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:30:36 PM | Why is it that some people, seems like mostly women, will be in total denial of what the real situation is and continue to pursue someone to their own detriment. I was asked by a friend a couple of years ago that if I met a really nice guy and was very attracted to him, would I go there even though he was married.
My response was that if he was married and especially with kids then he could not be a 'really nice guy" if chasing other women outside of marriage. I don't care what reason/excuses he had. I am even wary of the
' newly separated' ones.
This girl needs a good shaking to bring her to her senses. | |
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