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 Seabreezelover
Joined: 4/27/2011
Msg: 1
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Would love some feedbackPage 1 of 1    
I'm not sure if my profile is turning men off or if they are just afraid to contact me. Also, I rarely hear back from those I contact. I believe my expectations are reasonable. Any advise would be appreciated.
 MaximumPower
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 2
Would love some feedback
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:31:03 PM

If you do not own a Harley it's ok.
This suggests you only want a biker of a particular sort. Do those dudes even use the Internet? You certainly narrowed down the field to only a few people with that sentence.

Get familiar with the Advanced Search feature and start sending messages.
 sailing_rich
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 3
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Would love some feedback
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:05:58 PM
I'd take your main picture down and use another one instead.
 Seabreezelover
Joined: 4/27/2011
Msg: 4
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Would love some feedback
Posted: 7/25/2012 1:31:34 PM
I had to laugh at your ignorance. Bear in mind, Harley's aren't cheap. In general, most people that own one have a well paying, established job. That means smart and yes, up to date on technology.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 5
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Would love some feedback
Posted: 7/25/2012 1:53:40 PM
What you say is good, the way you say it could be improved upon. 12 of your first 16 sentences begin with "I" and you use several more in the middle of sentences. Try to combine some of your paragraphs so you have fewer longer ones.

I dislike reading through lists; rather they are in bullet form or separated by commas. You list off many music bands followed immediately by movie directors. That’s where you lost me and I started skimming. You can’t claim to not watch a lot of TV then list off five favorite shows.
 Seabreezelover
Joined: 4/27/2011
Msg: 6
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Would love some feedback
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:25:23 PM
Thank you! I really appreciate the construction feedback!
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