| | Insulted for NOT replying?Page 1 of 1 | I received a message from a guy, it was just a one line and nothing interesting, had a look at his profile and it showed him as 25 and his job as "lol".
Definitely not for me, so I didn't respond. Two weeks later I got a pretty much identical message (with maybe two added words) from the same guy, and fifteen minutes after not responding to that, I got a "lol. nvm. I guess average is the new chubby."
Not bothered since I don't consider myself fat, but really why would you insult someone you'd initially messaged out of (presumably) interest? That's pretty much a guarantee she's NOT going to give you the time of day now... also, why only a fifteen minute window before the message and insult? I work full time, maybe I was working, maybe I was sleeping, hell maybe I was out on a date! I would have thought twenty-four hours would be a standard "okay they're ignoring me/saying no" time period.
Does it seem like this guy seriously over-reacted and I was right to not respond in the first place? | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:37:28 AM | | Im not sure..when he says nvm I guess average is the new chubby.. I dont think he is referring your weight. I could be wrong. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:39:48 AM | | Well, I have my build listed as average, since I'm not exactly toned abs and rock hard butt and all that, and I wasn't quite sure what else he could be referencing. It just seemed so childish. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:40:06 AM | | Yes and yes. Block them from the first message if you're not interested. Saves future wastes of time. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:41:54 AM | | I never thought to block if I wasn't interested, because it seemed mean. XD Does the person get a notification that they've been blocked? Or does it just bounce their messages back with a sort of "you can no longer contact this person" type message? | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:18:29 AM | They get no notification. When they try and send you a subsequent message they see a message that reads "You have been blocked by this user. Find someone else ".
It's a question of mean vs not having to deal with future crap. Which would you prefer? | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:46:45 AM | You don't look chubby in the slightest. What a retard. Some people just like to insult others because they are just douche-bags.
<div class="quote">I would have thought twenty-four hours would be a standard "okay they're ignoring me/saying no" time period.
Actually, my policy is to wait for 3 days. I guess partly, that is because one time I screwed up my chances with this girl since I didn't hold back and wrote to her twice in a row before she responded (after she had written back to me a couple times).
<div class="quote">Does it seem like this guy seriously over-reacted and I was right to not respond in the first place?
No, it's perfectly appropriate to tell girls they are chubby, just because they rejected you (sarcasm). Actually, in other cultures maybe it is, but I think the context makes this pretty inherently wrong.
I don't know about writing back. It used to seem a little cold to me to not write back, like if someone spoke to you in real life, you wouldn't just ignore them. But I know some people on here just think it's more polite not to respond, I guess, or else they get too much mail. I had a couple experiences that made me stop writing back to people, myself, for a while, but then I decided it's not really me, and I'd prefer to write back to everyone. To each his own. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:03:51 AM | | Yeah there are some idiots on POF that just want to play games, every once in awhile I get a woman who critiques my profile or didn't like something I wrote in the forum. Just block and delete, don't let the idiots get to you. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:41:22 AM | What amazes me is that you've even given a second thought to this. It's clearly some numpty with too much time on his hands and bored.
Delete, block, move on. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:41:31 AM | The insult was over the line, I'll admit.
But in all honesty, was "Sorry, I'm not interested" REALLY that difficult?
You girls that get attacked for not responding don't understand how easily it can be avoided with just a simple cut and paste message.
If someone walked up to you in a bar, would you just turn around and ignore the fact that he's there, or would you at least tell him you're not interested? Why do you think it should really be different online?
Between the being ignored, the tons of smartass responses like "I'm looking to date, just not with you", I'm really not surprised that guys lose it and flip out on you girls... Honestly, what do you really expect to happen? | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:42:37 AM | Immaturity. Just block him. No biggie. If he creates a new account and continues to harass you just report his profile to POF. There are some decent guys out thre, so don't let one jerk ruin it.
G | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:19:48 AM | | There is no need to block someone for sending you one (at least somewhat appropriate) message; this is a dating site, guys are supposed to send you messages. I'm as offended when I get blocked as you are to receive insults for not replying. Skypirate is only partially right. They get no direct notification of being blocked but the original message is removed from their sent messages list, which can make it difficult for them to know if they’ve written you already. If your not interested just don’t reply; don’t block them until a second message. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:30:45 AM |
Does it seem like this guy seriously over-reacted and I was right to not respond in the first place?
I don't know to the first, and yes, but not because of his response to the second.
Nothing attracted or interested you about his initial messages, so you were right not to respond. That's basically it. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:35:24 AM |
But in all honesty, was "Sorry, I'm not interested" REALLY that difficult?
Yes it can be. I used to say sorry not interested, and alot of the time you either get an offensive response, or they want to know why, and when you say something like well you live to far away, they will tell you they are not to far away and why they are not to far away, and when you repeat yourself to them, then they probably get offensive, and most of the time its a size comment and the OP pointed out. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:54:24 AM | | Sounds like sour grapes, he wanted attention. You didn't reply to his initial email, so after that it became about pissing you off enough that you couldn't help but respond. He was baiting you. Even negative attention is attention, so when he couldn't get you to give him attention when he was interested, he just wanted a reaction from you so he would know he got your attention. Someone who acts like that isn't worth your time, so good thing you knew that from the beginning, right? | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:08:35 AM | | I don't think his lol nv had anything to do with your weight. Maybe he realized he sent you something a few weeks back and was trying to play it off. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:45:32 AM | | It's the idiots who can't take rejection making it so hard for the rest of the nice guys who women will assume are just jerks as well. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:45:44 AM | first of all im not sure what the context of the comment was. for instance was he refering to himself or you. it seems thatg you assume from the imformation provided that it was dirrected to you. either way it shouldent matter to you block and move on. ferthermore maybe hes trying to get youre attention, yes its inappropriate but perhapse hes had some success in doing that. im unshure if you have any internet savvy from the day but some people like to get a rise out of others.
just saying is all. | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:18:17 AM | | Yes you were obviously right to ignore, yes he thought weight is a sensitive issue for most women do went for the 'low blow' insult and yes just block like previous posters have said, even if they WERE sent a notification about it, who cares? | |
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| Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:33:28 AM | | If you've already determined he's not for you, why are you worrying about him overreacting? Move on... | |
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