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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?      Home login  
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 musicboy29
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 1
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?Page 1 of 1    
I guess it must be annoying getting one's mailbox flooded with stranger's emails of "Hello, how are you?" etc.. but isn't this how normal people communicate in real life? I am not sure if there are just too many weirdos asking for others to meet right away or sending inappropriate messages, but when normal gentlemen who take the time to write a nice message it would just be more courteous to have a reply of even "no not interested" then have messages unread or deleted etc. It's just common courtesy and politeness, but I'm guessing this behavior is probably extinct in this day and age or just another thing that makes men and women so different in how we interact.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:23:25 AM
I don't - I get clarity in the knowledge that the chance of meeting the right person, is just that - chance.
 MsGirlyMuscle
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 3
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:34:28 AM
I do not get how people get an ego boost from the internet. Seriously??? LOL

Actions such as replying to every stranger we are not interested in could require resigning from work and sitting here responding to 20 + men per day about why we do not want to meet them. I do not know about anyone else, but I do not have the time or interest in it.

Off line it is flattering if someone is showing interest but there too, a simple no thanks is all it takes in person. Speaking to someone face to face is different and happens much faster than dozens of e mails. And this is because there are not 20+ men standing there asking us lame ass questions in a line up.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 4
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:36:59 AM
How can you expect women to make the effort to type up a rejection message when most men don't even put in an effort to write an initial message (I'd venture to say 95% of the messages I received when my profile was visible said nothing beyond the word "hi" or "how are you", which shows absolutely no effort on his part). When I was looking, if a man took the time to read my profile (which meant he referred to something in it in his initial message), and draft a thoughtful (but short) message to me, I felt compelled to respond, even if it was to politely decline his advances. I refused, however, to spend time drafting a response for someone who could not put in any more effort than to write one single sentence.

BTW, 99% of messages I received when my profile was visible said one of the following and nothing more: "Hi", "How are you?", "You're hawt", "Wanna hook up?", etc.... I met my boyfriend here on POF and answered him because he took the time to actually speak to me like I was a human being (Introduced himself, referred to something in my profile, and asked me a question so that the onus of the conversation wasn't on me).

I never found it an ego boost to get the same message 100 times over from men who didn't think I was worth the effort to type more than a few words....what I was looking for was someone with enough brain power to figure I was a person with a brain beyond my picture.

Also, while in person, saying a simple "hi" may get a conversation started, online the rules are different. If YOU want to message a woman, the onus to get the conversation started is on you, not on her.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 5
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:00:49 AM

ut when normal gentlemen who take the time to write a nice message it would just be more courteous to have a reply of even "no not interested" then have messages unread or deleted etc. It's just common courtesy and politeness,
No one owes you a reply or anything else here. No Reply IS A REPLY. They are simply not interested. You know what bad manners would really be? If all those women started actually replying and telling you all the many reasons they were not interested in you. Now that would not be polite. I say since you are demanding rejection notices you should demand a detailed list from them of all the reasons they would never dream about meeting you.

For the love of gawd I can not figure out all the losers demanding written rejection notices. You must not be getting any emails to be so pathetically desperate to beg for rejection notices is all I can say.

I NEVER want to see a rejection notice in my inbox. All I want are positive replies. If your not getting any WORK ON YOUR PICS AND PROFILE! THATS what gets replies here. And thats a HINT for you OP! You have one pic that isnt even a legal pic here at POF for a main pic as it doesnt show your face. And a crappy 3 line profile. No wonder you are getting no replies. Why would anyone waste time replying to you when you didnt spend 60 seconds on your entire profile? No wonder you are now begging for rejection notices.

You REALLY mean to tell me that its going to make you feel better to get up tomorrow morning and have your inbox filled with 30 new rejection notices that are verifying for you in writing what a failure you are here? REALLY? I MEAN REALLY REALLY? (rolls eyes...)

You guys never cease to amaze me with this ridiculous nonsense demanding a written rejection notice. These gals are trying to be KIND to you!

The ONLY thing important on this site is POSITIVE replies. Quit whining about rejection notices and spend that time actually working on your pathetic profiles so that you will actually get positive replies is my advice.

Cowboy
 numbersman2012
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 6
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:16:24 AM
It is a complete waste of time for a woman to send a rejection email, and a waste of a guy's time to read it. It is all negativity. Why bring that into your life? As Cowboy said, focus on positives.
 HiHeelsLover
Joined: 7/13/2012
Msg: 7
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:36:00 AM
Not even close. It is insulting and demeaning most of the time. Alot of work for no results.
 382838382838
Joined: 7/15/2012
Msg: 8
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:52:49 AM
Here is why woman do not send back a thanks but no thanks when not interested. (Honestly, why would a rejection letter be better than no reply but here it is.)

Typical scenario on POF

Gentleman (to use your word) Hi, How are you?

POF Female: Fine, thanks

Gentleman: I read your profile and I like it, do you want to chat

POF female: No thank you

Gentleman: Why not?

POF female: Just not feeling it

Gentleman: I think we have a lot in common and I have a mirror and I know I'm good looking

POF female: Just not my type that's all

Gentleman: You're a SHALLOW ****!
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 9
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:59:43 AM
If I allowed myself to get an ego boost because of what some say, I'd also have to cry at the negative, condescending things from others...

I don't let the internet have that much power over me...

and if you're allowing this medium to effect you in such a strong negative way, you may want to readjust your expectations.

Or maybe just get out in real life.

It's still there, you know.
 musicboy29
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 10
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:45:19 AM
Never said anyone owes anyone a reply... just said it would be nice. I don't get how no answer is nicer than just a simple no, not interested. And you shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions, I don't go making my profile 3 pages of drivel because if I wanted to read a biography I would go to the library. And buddy why do you have to get personal and insult my pic, my pic is perfectly fine, I'm playing my favorite instrument and I don't have a stupid grin on my face looking into the camera like everyone else is, so I like it fine. Your criticism isn't constructive at all, maybe you are the one that needs to stop whining about other people's profiles.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 11
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:59:57 AM

And buddy why do you have to get personal and insult my pic, my pic is perfectly fine,
Becasue ITS NOT A VALID MAIN PIC. You have to be recognizable in it and not enough of your face shows. BOTH eyes should show.

No one could even pick you out of a police lineup in that pick.


I'm playing my favorite instrument
No one is dating the guitar. Although we can see it a LOT clearer then you. I could for sure pick that GUITAR out of a police lineup anyway.


Your criticism isn't constructive at all,
Not sure what part of put up 8 solid pics where people can see your face your not grasping. If you have this much problem grasping those words an comprehending them then perhaps online dating where you have to communicate in a written medium simply is not the best choice for you.


maybe you are the one that needs to stop whining about other people's profiles.
Then quit starting whiny threads about not getting replies. Replies are 90 percent based on pics and profile and yours suck bad.

Cowboy
 LGG62
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 12
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:10:40 AM

I don't get how no answer is nicer than just a simple no, not interested.

Because most guys on here don't take that as an answer and move on. They write again and again insisting that they are great guys, good-looking and there is no reason why the girl shouldn't be interested. They don't get that obviously there IS a reason, otherwise the girl would have responded differently. Eventually, or sometimes right off the bat, the guy begins to insult the girl (you're not that cute anyway, you're fat, you're a b****, etc.). It's not worth the trouble or headache. Now you know. Spread the word so that we don't get 10 new threads daily asking why people can't take the time to respond to a message when not interested.
 MsGirlyMuscle
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 13
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:13:47 AM
Like this thread, you do not like what you are reading. And this is what happens when we tell men * no thanks*. They do not stop. It is like a virus.

And as far as your pic and profile, it does need changed. You are looking down at an instrument. Keep it as a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th photo but maybe add some so people can see your eyes and smile, and someone will at least respond to you.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 14
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:18:01 AM
I don't get how no answer is nicer than just a simple no, not interested.
Because desperate guys like you that are getting no replies see her rejection notice hit your inbox and get all excited and start replying back.

THATS why most gals do not respond any longer. Most start off trying to! They get wiser as time passes. I used to reply to every first contact I got. Not anymore. The number of heavy or way older gals that got P.O. and then started b1tching and calling me shallow or a lot worse was ridiculous.

The only way anymore I would advise a gal to even ATTEMPT to reply here when they were not interested would be to reply and then BLOCK THEM so they could not respond back.

See thats the problem. The gal wants to simply not have further communication. The desperate guys getting no mail immediately start writing the gals that rejected them back. Sad and pathetic but true. But thats POF reality.

So no reply is a reply here guys. It means she is not interested and DO NOT MESSAGE AGAIN.

Cowboy
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 15
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:20:34 AM

I used to reply to every first contact I got. Not anymore.

Same here. After about 6 months of nasty replies I decided no reply was sufficient.
 musicboy29
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 16
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:35:49 AM
Cowboy again with the jumping to conclusions. Am not desperate, could care less, I've been in a fair share of relationships and many dates in real life, just my work schedule is busy and thought I would give this site a try. All I've said is people these days don't have manners(both men and women). I've never written back anyone if they don't send me a reply back. The reason I only have a single profile pic is that I have tried uploading other pictures of myself traveling or whatever but gotten an upload error because maybe the file is too big or in incorrect format. And you should stop insulting the other men on POF, they are probably plenty nice, successful, and well rounded individuals. You, yourself and others are on an internet dating site, does that make one desperate? Who's it for you to judge others lives; again when one assumes it makes one look like an ...
 musicboy29
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 17
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:41:44 AM
Hmm, that is a shame; guess too many men with bad manners. Not sure why that is because rejection is just like any other rejection, when people go looking for a job they apply to 30+ places but probably get not interested from the vast majority of them and it wouldn't make sense for someone to email a nasty reply to a potentially interested company. So I don't see how dating is any different in that people in general can't be more mild mannered and courteous.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 18
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:41:57 AM
zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/ten-fake-profiles-one--experiment--on-trial/1405

The most attractive ladies get bombarded with hundreds more messages than anyone else, and ladies get messaged more than guys ALL the time - part of that stupid old-fashioned 'Guys Should Make The First Move' mentality.

One vital point made in this study is about the signal-to-noise ratio of quality messages to the attractive ladies... they benefit from quantity, but not necessarily quality. --- Still, for us ordinary guys that only get messaged once in a blue moon, ANY noise is welcomed.

I still think there ARE women in here that get ego boosts from dating e-mails, and stay active just so they get them. I know of a couple women who are actually IN relationships right now, but still come back to the dating sites to read emails (and laugh at some of them). I keep telling them it's going to be detrimental to their relationships to stay on a dating site, but they still do it because apparently they are not 'serious' about who they are f**king anyway.
 LGG62
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 19
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:45:19 AM
See, this is EXACTLY why people prefer not to reply, instead of sending a "not interested" message that you seem to think is obligatory. You keep responding to posts saying the same thing. You're not letting what people are telling you sink in. You're behaving exactly like the guy that we don't want to respond to because he'll keep emailing over and over and over about what a great guy he is, then start with the insults. Cowboy is right, when someone sends a "not interested" message, they are done. They don't want to communicate anymore. They're not going to change their minds just because you bombard them with messages as to why they should. In fact, it only strengthens their convictions that they were right about you in the first place.

What if some hideous troll emailed you, you said you weren't interested, and she kept emailing you constantly about what a great person she was, you should give her a chance, then started insulting you and your d***? Would that make you change your mind and want to meet them? Then why do you think it works the other way around? Maybe YOU personally wouldn't react to a rejection like that (although you are in this thread), but there are soooo many on here that do that it just isn't worth taking the gamble that the person will accept it and move on.
 musicboy29
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 20
Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:04:12 AM
I responded back to Cowboy because he initiated the personal attacks calling guys like me a loser and desperate when he knows nothing about me. I'm not saying that people should respond to all their messages, all I've been trying to say is that if someone sends a nice message to another person its just courteous to at least make a short response even if it is a no. If the guy or girl then insults the other person for rejecting them then yes I completely agree that they are in the wrong. And regarding your hypothetical situation, I would first respond that I'm not interested because me and her wouldn't work out and after she started insulting me, add her to the block list.

*What I've been trying to say is all this time is that the roads to communication shouldn't be blocked and that if people had better manners these days they could deal with rejection or write a not interested note without resorting to profanity or insults.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 21
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Do women get an ego boost from this and other dating sites?
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:05:34 AM
No, no ego boost here. 99% of the messages I get are from guys I am absolutely not interested in. It kind of makes me wonder sometimes...
Anyway,

it would just be more courteous to have a reply of even "no not interested" then have messages unread or deleted etc. It's just common courtesy and politeness, but I'm guessing this behavior is probably extinct in this day and age or just another thing that makes men and women so different in how we interact.


I am sure you have learned from this thread that the reason women do not reply is because of the nasty emails we get back when saying 'no thanks'. And how does that make men and women different? Men don't reply either - wake up.
You want manners? Good luck! That would involve both parties having manners. The one writing and the one rejecting. A rare occurrence.
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