| | Cancelling a first meetPage 1 of 1 | Hi. After reading all the comments from you Gentlemen I am loathe to ask this but here goes.
Last night I had arranged a first meet with a man from here.
A few hours before the arranged time a girlfriend rings me with free tickets to the Sydney Opera House to see that nights performance of The Pearl Fishers Opera.
I contacted the man and asked for a 'rain check' on the first meet.
I have apologised to him and am trying to arrange an alternative time to meet.
As a man do you think this is fair? | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:44:52 PM | Fair: Sure, I guess.
Cancelling a first meet through pof: The most common thing since breathing. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:48:59 PM |
A few hours before the arranged time
If he cancelled with that little warning because a buddy of his came up with a pair of tickets to a football game... you'd be mad. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:59:02 PM | It's a tough call. On one hand, I don't blame you. I would love the chance to see a free opera, especially at the Sydney. But on the other, he might feel as though he came out on the losing end of the competition for your interest and time. I personally would feel a little put down in that situation, but not enough to not arrange for another meet.
It just depends on the guy, I guess. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:11:33 PM | | Since meet and greets are very short, couldn't you have told him you were offered tickets but still want to meet him and couldn't you have made it earlier or at a different location on the way to the Opera House. That way he still feels important. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:15:13 PM | The key words here are "first meet"
It's not a date, it's a meet.
If he has a head on his shoulders he would have wished you a wonderful night and rescheduled.
And if he did, I would give him brownie points for being accommodating. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:19:26 PM | I contacted the man and asked for a 'rain check' on the first meet.
I have apologised to him and am trying to arrange an alternative time to meet.
Fair? No! It sucks! He probably took his weekly shower for nothing!
But, it's a good explanation and you are arranging an alternative day for the meet, so it should be okay!
(oops! I didn't see "hours before the meet". No, I wouldn't want an alternative day.) | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:24:45 PM | As a man do you think this is fair?
Is it fair? You agreed to meet him, then you backed out. "Why" you backed out doesn't mean a thing to me, but the fact you didn't keep your word does. If I was this guy, I'd tell you to take your "alternative time to meet" and shove it up your fourth point of contact. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:24:49 PM | How did you contact him? If you wanted it to be more agreeable to him, you should have called him. That way he can hear the genuineness and regret in your voice and make an assessment for himself as to how important meeting him is to you.
If you just sent a text or email - I'd be less than impressed by that. I'd probably figure you needed to hone up on your personal relationship skills and learn to CALL in those situations, but I'd probably still agree to a revised time.
Good news can/should be delivered in writing. Bad news should always be delivered in person or via a phone call. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:30:49 PM | Last night I had arranged a first meet with a man from here.
A few hours before the arranged time a girlfriend rings me with free tickets to the Sydney Opera House to see that nights performance of The Pearl Fishers Opera. Honestly I allow a last minute reschedule for things like "Her kid was hit by a bus" or "She is calling from the hospital with an emergency appendectomy". I had one cancel at the last second as she was trying to make a 2 hour drive from the country into the city and she was literally driving through a rain/hail storm of the decade here. I am watching it on TV and bridges are flooded and washed out its a disaster. Cars are stopped and flooded out on major highways and she keeps calling me with updates about where she is etc... and finally turned around after TWO HOURS. THAT GAL got a reschedule.
I dont ever do a second meet when she cancels the first at the last second because "something better came up".
Thats horseshit Darlin. I would move on to the next candidate that would hopefully be more considerate.
The day before is bad but
A few hours before the arranged time Thats bull to cancel at the last minute because you "got a better offer" and would tell me all I need to know about what kind of person you are. In a way I would be glad to find out before we met so I didnt waste any time or money having to find this out later.
Cowboy | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:57:00 PM | | On one hand, you don't owe the guy anything but on the other it sets a very negative tone. I partially agree with Cowboy's no second meet idea except I'm a vindictive prick so I'd book the meet and then cancel last minute for something lame and obviously untrue.. like I'm getting my ass waxed. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:09:41 PM | Yes I rang and left 2 messages, then an email and finally got him on the phone.
By this time it was only about 3 hours before the agreed time.
Thank you for your comments.
Yes it was a better offer.
Dinner and free opera tickets with a long term female friend is hard to beat.
I could not do both as they were in totally different directions.
P.s The opera was great.
Hopefully I can arrange another meeting.
Perhaps I should offer to buy him dinner / lunch to apologise. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:13:11 PM |
Perhaps I should offer to buy him dinner / lunch to apologise. I think that's a lovely idea :) | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:13:57 PM | Or maybe you invite him to the same venue that you cancelled him for? Buy him dinner, take him to the show, drinks and a big kiss thank you for understanding.......that should about do it!
Oh, and if you think that is to much......go with "Cowboy's" answer.......
cd | |
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largo2
| | Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:25:44 PM | After having guys cancel last minute (never had a no show) I am torn in my answer, because what if she turned down the tickets, and then HE didnt show, or cancelled?
I do believe in honouring commitments to meet. Not sure what I would do. Offering to take him to dinner sounds good. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:30:55 PM |
Yes it was a better offer. Dinner and free opera tickets with a long term female friend is hard to beat. Oh bullzhit. Dont even talk to me about getting a better last minute offer sweetie.
I had a stunning gal I know well call me 2 hours before a POF first meet I had scheduled and promise me guaranteed wild sex on her dining room table, said she already had the whipped cream and chocolate syrup (true story!) and I made all kinds of pathetic whimpering noises but told her I couldnt. I had a POF first meet. So phuck the stupid Opera crap. I had a LOT better offer then the opera and kept my pof first meet that night. And it was a HORRIBLE first meet with someone that showed up 100 lbs heavier then their pics and I am trying to call the gal from the BATHROOM begging to reschedule to no avail. Dont give me any crap about your opera being so much more important. You just dont do last minute first meet cancellations. a later date sure try it. But not a first meet.
We will agree to disagree.
Cowboy | |
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tjl503
| | Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 17 | |
| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:35:16 PM | | No big deal OP and if it is a big deal for him he's not worth it, but now it's up to you to set up the next date/time since you canceled. He probably doesn't think you're interested and probably waiting for you. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:57:49 PM | Thanks.
Have offered to buy him lunch / dinner but he says his mum would turn in her grave if he was not the gentleman.
Now trying to find a suitable time as it is coming to the fore that we work very different hours and days.
I work Monday to Friday during the week.
He works weekends and nights.
So perhaps we will meet when we can arrange our schedules. Certianly now not at least till next week.
Weekends and evenings are almost impossible for him .
Looks like there is not much mutually free time. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:42:04 PM | Bizet or a stranger. Hmm.
I think you made the right choice but if you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it. | |
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| Cancelling a first meet
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:20:19 PM | | Three hours notice is fair, it's not like you stood him up, and you offered to make up for it which most people wouldn't even offer to do. | |
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