| | A few honest answers?Page 1 of 1 | I have had quite a lot of profile views but no messages and when I send a message I get no replies and often blocked.
When I send a message I am never crude, impolite or even suggestive.I keep them short and try to include a witty reference to their profile.
Am I likely to be aiming way too high?
Does my profile come across as disingenuous?
What would stop you from replying or messaging me?
Please do be frank (I could live to regret that)
Pete | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:07:51 AM | | It wasn't really a profile review that I was after, I did post in that forum, took the offered advice and haven't seen any difference...... | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:39:31 AM | No offense intended but your profile could do with some tweaking.
However, if you feel you've obtained all the advice you need in that area, then maybe you could post some examples of messages you send?
Being a smoker and not looking for anything serious are two factors that will turn women away but presumably you aren't (because you can't) messaging women with those restrictions so I can't really see any reason from your profile that you would be blocked you unless your messages are offputting. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:49:23 AM | OK so to a lady with the hook line "is anybody out there" and little info on her profile my message was:
I can't say whether there is anybody there but there is someone here who would like to get to know you.
Pete | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:49:38 AM | 1) Views mean nothing. The thumbnails here are really small. They may of viewed ya for 2 seconds and started pounding the page back key screaming EWWWWW! to escape. Look at it this way. If they viewed ya and didnt send a message thats sort of a mini-rejection for ya already right??? No reply means they are not interested. Blocked means you are so undesirable they want to make sure they never ever have to possibly see another message from you. And the only way you knew you were blocked (long sigh..) was you of course tried to message them again so JUST STOP THAT CRAP!
2) The messages are probably OK. replies are 90 percent based on your own profile and pics.
3) Yes probably. Join the club. 90 percent of the guys your age are all messaging the top 10 to 15 percent of the women. Your just an average guy with an average profile at best. Your profile has serious SERIOUS issues that need addressed. Try PROFILE REVIEW.
4) See answer above
5) I cant believe sooooo many guys can't figure this out. They are glancing at your pics and not finding you attractive is the number one answer. Your profile is not helping. An average guy with a GREAT profile can get messages here. You are an average guy with a profile that has serious issues. You are shooting yourself in the foot. And THAT FOOT was already run over by a bus.
6) Look you are a very average looking guy with a below average profile. If you rewrite it to actually sound upbeat and fun you will get a few more replies. So instead of 2 replies per hundred now your new goal is 5 per hundred when you message the pretty gals. If you message gals that are 4's 5's and 6s like you the reply rate will be a lot higher. Amazing how that works huh? So many very average guys that would get slapped or kicked in the nutz trying to pickup hot chicks in real life on the street for some bizarre reason think they will score big here??? WTF? Gals online have MORE not less choices. If pretty gals do not give ya the time of day in real life they will ALL kick ya in the noogies here. If you are just average for gawds sake message the average gals. Or get plastic surgery. Or live with it and stop whining anyway. All those are acceptable solutions that allow ya to keep your man card. Continued whining about no replies or asking how good looking you are will require you return your man card. That kinda crap is for woosies.
So lets say that 90percent of ALL guys are messaging the top 15 percent or so of the women. They can be very choosey. Why pick you from the 50 other boring/average looking guys that messaged them today??? Is that a clue for ya? Look lets say the bottom 15 percent here are just pretty fugly. The TOP 25 percent are the cute ones everyone messages. That means the middle 60 percent are just average. Thats you. You are messaging people that do not find you as attractive most likely. This is a HUGE but common problem on here. You look in the mirror and go "Hey I am looking GOOOOD!
The gals that dont know ya dont look at you twice. You are just average. Gals on here get tons of messages from boring average guys a day. Write a better profile that makes ya sound FUN and interesting and you will get more replies but there is only so much we average guys can do here so realize that. We are the vast majority at POF. If you were messaging the "5's" on here you would do a LOT better. But like MOST guys you are messaging the cute ones I bet. Along with 90 percent of the other guys here. See the problem yet?
Good Luck
Cowboy | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:53:24 AM | | Thanks cowboy and actually average is a step up from what I thought women thought of my pictures... | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:08:12 AM | NO seriously you are not butt ugly. You are like MOST guys (including me) here. Thats why they call us AVERAGE. The problem is all the hot guys, the average guys and even the butt ugly guys are ALL MESSAGING the top 25 percent of the gals here. Lots of normal average gals get hardly any messages.
Guys here WAY overestimate how hot they are TRUST ME. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:30:19 AM | Take their advice. If you are actually here on this site to meet someone ( I am not ) get a profile review. Don't be one of these rodeo clowns who insults people who are trying to help you.
It comes off as no confidence. All these men who say * I know I am not the best looking guy here *. Really? What is hot to one person may not be to someone else. It needs re done. And all the * x * after sentences.
Go click on profile review's, turn it around you may get responses. And ignore reviews of the profile , they mean nothing. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:43:49 AM | | Well I would never be one to cause insult so a profile review it is - there is only one x though.... | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:46:53 AM | | Then don't get one. Keep coming back on here arguing, and when it hits 21 posts & it will be done. And you will still be dateless. Good luck. It is not about an insult, we are telling you as experienced POF Forum users , you need a re do on the profile. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:48:38 AM | | And my previous post acknowledged that when I said "so a profile review it is" as in that is my next course of action...... | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:49:01 AM | Here's a clue to how looks matter:
"College students who viewed a Facebook photo of a fellow student having fun with friends rated that person as extroverted -- even if his profile said he was "not a big people-person." Taking your own pictures (in a mirror) is liable to suggest you have no friends and don't get out much.
Two videos showing a college professor doing a lecture was shown to separate groups of students. The students rated the lecturer as more attractive in "warm" version. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 4:57:05 AM | | Asking my mates to take pictures of me would probably result in having no friends - that or a broken camera.... | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:01:20 AM | Get new mates then....you are 41??? And they would dump you or break a camera for asking them to take photos???
How odd. It is one thing if you just want to take your own but to say that? What the hell kind of people do you associate with? | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:05:00 AM | | Mainly guys in relationships who are a little boisterous when we get together and have very unique views regarding humour... | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:06:39 AM | That's a conundrum. Whether to look like you have friends but don't or too look like you have no friends but do. :D
In that case only use photos you didn't take yourself, even if it means less photos or even only 1 photo. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:08:17 AM | | Thank you skypirate35 - your comments are insightful and thought provoking | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:10:57 AM | I see this ongoing theme every time I look at the forums. I too once had the same problem and have learned what it takes to have some level of success on here. I have solved the mystery to getting someone to respond. So, I hope you and many others will take a thorough look over my formula:
First, I will say that I have had profile reviews before and read many other people's reviews. Sure my profile needs work, but it will never be perfect. Most importantly to note is that it is having some success, so it's good enough. I have surpassed the "getting a response" phase, and now I'll reveal what works for me:
Go take a look at your "Meet Me" list and pay very close attention to the people who actually click "yes" to your profile.
Although the people on this list are unlikely to respond to your attempts of contacting them, I noticed that if I seek out similar people, that those people are much more likely to respond.
Additionally, seek out people who live within about 100 miles of you. Don't only contact people who live in your town. I noticed that widening my search area has improved results.
I also noticed that the most views I get are typically from people who I've e-mailed. Girls definitely look at your profile when you have e-mailed them, so make sure you have nice pictures posted.
Clearly, you've all seen the content of my profile. Sometimes I get the response of, "what's with your profile?" Other times, they say nothing at all about my profile, which makes me believe the actual content isn't really important.
When you do make initial contact, keep your messages positive, well-written, and polite.
Ask them some questions, and address their interests. Maybe compliment them. Tailor your messages to the people you message.
Not every message you send will get a response, so you must play the numbers game somewhat. Be sure to send mail to several people.
It doesn't hurt to send a follow-up message, but let a few days pass before you consider doing so.
Oh, and sometimes the lame messages do work. So, try just asking them if they want to talk. | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:13:03 AM | You asked:
you need a profile review
take out anything that indicates a lack of confidence
you list way too many t.v. shows for your interests
your e-mail response is a cut and paste job. women will not respond to this. You need to read her profile and clearly indicate in your response some nugget of information from HER profile. "Hey you like the Tate Modern, so do I, have you seen the Pollock exhibit. ...." | |
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| A few honest answers?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:22:50 AM | | I will definitely get a profile review but have never cut and pasted a message other than to post here as an example and will certainly reduce the number of TV shows and eradicate comments alluding to a lack if confidence. Thank you | |
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