| | Its been a year since it endedPage 1 of 1 | | Basically were together three years now he wont talk to me I cant even enjoy sex anymore or even want to and my dreams and nightmares are of him coming back- he wont he hates me what the hell do I do? | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:28:32 AM |
what the hell do I do?
Pull out your purse,look inside, find your birth certificate, and realize that you are only 26 years old, and more than likely you will go thru one or two more "relationships" before you actually find a boy that will be a man that you can have something long term with??????
It may seem like the end of the world today,but,really, it isn't. It's just an experince that you either learn from, or you don't. It's up to you. No one else. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:48:03 AM | I'm pretty sure he isn't coming back... Why would you want to get back together anyway? You would most likely breakup over the same thing. It is difficult, but you need to move on. There is always someone better out there.
Hahaha... I wish my last ex would come crawling back to me, so I could reject her. I can only dream :P | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 7:42:10 AM | We dated for only about 6 months a few years back (met her offline). She dumped me because she said we didn't have enough time for each other. This was her excuse, but it was obviously a BS one to me.
I moved to a different state and then came back to Michigan to work and visit my family for the summer. We ended up running into each other again. We were friends the whole summer and then a week before I'm supposed to move back, she breaks down in tears and confesses her love to me. I choose to stay in MI and give it another shot, because I'm a moron. Two months in, she dumps me again. The reason this time is no chemistry (AKA I'm hooking up with one of my guy friends behind your back).
Hahaha... This is the only girl to ever dump me and she did it twice. That's what I get for dating a girl who didn't have her first boyfriend until she was 25, which was me.
It all worked out for the best though. I met a gorgeous girl on here and we have been together for 11 months. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 11:04:41 AM | | Basically, you gave no info on what to go by.....why he left. However, what the hell do you do.......? MOVE THE HELL ON! | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 11:18:22 AM | all of ya'll a trip....one is asking how and why does she get over a guy that left her....people saying they want revenge, but found a girl dating for 11 months and she's so wonderful....then why you got your but on POF?
Wow.....seeing how people think really baffles me. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 1:28:27 PM | | I feel your pain. everyone here will tell you to move on, more fish in the sea, blah blah, only you feel like a freaking fish in a barrel. All you can think about is how happy that person made you, how you never been more yourself when he is around. you compair every new person to him, the way they fit you when you lay together, the way the back of their neck smells. I belive not too many people truly loved, cause if they did they would know exactly what you are going through. The don't think you will never get over that person, true love never dies. I lost my love over 3 years ago and not a day goes by i don't think of her. Sometimes I wish i can zap her out of my mind like that movie " eternal sunshine of a spotless mind", but sometimes i am just thankfull that at least i have expirienced what true love was. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 1:31:15 PM | ^^^^^^^ Booo wah wah....what a load of crap !
Negative thoughts will get you nowhere ! ...as you've noticed !
I cant even enjoy sex anymore or even want to....
Seems like sex is something you are doing when you are bored...
...or something ! ?
Try living and loving for a change ...like really getting involved
in life ....instead of watching it go by !
Stuck in a rut for a year at 25 is an eternity!....will wear you down girl ! | |
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Dobes
| | Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 11 | |
| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 1:33:03 PM | You can't find love until you find peace within yourself and love yourself as you are. This may mean doing some soul searching and/or taking the time to figure out who you are (without him). Once you start doing things that you like, hanging out with positive people and learning more about yourself, you'll be able to move on. It's different for everyone... some people only take a few months... some people years.
If you did something that you feel contributed to the break up, ask yourself what you can learn from it to better yourself.... and then forgive yourself.
Not all as easy as it sounds but honestly, people will come and go and disappoint you or break your heart. You are the only one that you are stuck with for your whole life, so you gotta like you! | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 1:50:52 PM | | in reference to sex I cant do it becauses i just feel sad and stuck in the past or not comfortable with the man so Im avoiding it and yes I know self esteem isnt very high and yes I did contribute to the end of it well some of it but he had a temper and was paranoid ! | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/29/2012 5:30:56 PM | | This would be my standard advice to anyone who has recently had a bad break up and aren't over it yet. Go through all the feelings you need to feel, and then when you feel you can't cry anymore, or whatever you do to get past this, you will be ready to have another relationship. It wouldn't be fair to the next person if you are still harboring feelings for your former boyfriend. Good luck to you! | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:21:23 AM |
i guess does anyone have advice on dating then even if ur a bit sad?
Yeah... don't do it.
Men deserve to have a "happy date".
Go make yourself happy. Maybe that means hanging out with girlfriends and doing other things (besides sex) that bring you pleasure.
This is your time to grow up.
Don't waste it. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/31/2012 5:33:22 PM | don't listen to any of these people,,they don't realize that the guy you are talking about was so amazingly special and different from the other 7 billion people in the world and they do not understand that you will never ever find someone as interesting or amazing or wonderful or
oh,,,jeez,,,,,i can't keep this up!
here's a thought,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,look around you,,,and i mean really look,,,ask people you know,,exactly how many of them are still with the same person they were with when they were 25,,and once you get done talking to those two people,,if there is even that many,,
than you will have a perspective you seem to be lacking right now...the phrase "nothing lasts forever" is literal in human terms,,,,,not figurative....
so,,,,,,,take a deep breath,,,,,,,clear your head,,,,,put everything into perspective,,then go out tonight,,get really really drunk,,find a guy who looks like the amazing,one of a kind,super special ,,can never be replaced ,,jerk off you were seeing,,,and screw the guys brains out and then summarily kick him to the curb the next morning with a hearty "i don't need you!' and then get on with your life ffs!
or,,,,curl into a ball and cry yourself to death,,,your choice | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:35:58 PM | it is not really a good time to date to start a new relationship when you are
still sad over the last one.
give yourself more time...
do things that you love to do,...
tell yourself that it is ok to feel the way you do..
and feel it....
go through it and know that soon you will feel better.
You will know inside of yourself when the time is right to date again.
this is just my opinion.
on the other hand...if you happen to meet a man you like while you are
living your life (not on line searching)...and you are being yourself...
that may be when you can date. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:07:43 PM |
I seem to be stuck in a spiralling rut
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.
-- Audrey Hepburn
When you feel helpless
maybe you can find someone else to help
Someone who really needs it
and in helping them
your problems will feel small in comparison
and you'll realize
your'e not all that helpless
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 8/1/2012 3:03:09 AM | Wow only 26 and your life is over because you got dumped ?Wait till you're 47 and its happened about a dozen times LOL..
OP : "I cant even enjoy sex anymore or even want to "
Coyote:
"Seems like sex is something you are doing when you are bored...
...or something ! ?"
Shhhhhh !
Better then smoking crack or shooting people LOL.. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 8/1/2012 4:56:58 AM | | I see its just before that I had a terrible realtionship anyways about helping others thats very valid point going to some volunteering and i care alot for my family/friends. As for moving on kinda met one guy but dont wanna have sex with them argh- and not sure what I feel so may bail!which is unfair but it seems hes just after one thing anwyays- and yes I suppose '26' seems young to some people but if you been through alot in self esteem and many thing throughout life and other issues its hard to rationlize a loss and when someone says they love you - you find it hard to let go of even if they never did ! | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 8/1/2012 5:22:23 AM | You absolutely need to go see a therapist. Your mental health is not good and you need to be able to learn how to cope with this mess in your life.
Why would you want to talk to him after all of this? Please do get the help you need. You will be surprized how much talking to a therapist will help you.
Good luck...PF | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 8/15/2012 10:11:11 PM | | been there, and i know how it feels. it can take a very long time to get over someone, way too long, imo. i think that is why i am so leery of letting someone into my life now. when i fall, i fall hard, no holding back. it sounds like you do the same. i guess the only advice i can give you is that eventually you will meet someone new. i know it sounds trite, but it is true. if you were able to love and connect with someone once, then you can do it again. you just have to get through this, and honestly, it will take time. don't worry about how long it takes, just force yourself to go through the motions of not caring anymore and eventually you will fake it till you make it. go out and date. have sex with someone else. force yourself to focus on friends for a while. don't go anywhere that reminds you of the guy, and by all means, don' t talk about him to anyone ever again. first and foremost i want to acknowledge to you that this guy has cut your communication lines. this is a big part of the pain. he won't even speak to you, and you feel that he hates you as a result. it is always painful when someone refuses to speak to you. this is part of the reason why you are stuck on this relationship - the silence and lack of "closure." this man won't give you closure, which is about the meansest thing someone can do, imo. but just knowing that this is part of the problem will help you move on. he has cut your communication lines abruptly, and it has left you in a mystery wondering why. well, you already know the answer. he doesn't love you, and he does not want to be with you anymore. you will meet someone new, however, as soon as you are through processing this heartbreak and have made room for someone else in your heart. hang in there! this too will pass! | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 8/15/2012 10:21:03 PM | Hypnotherapy might also be an option... I used hypnotherapy to quit smoking
then I learned I could do so much more with hypnotherapy too. I once had an unrequited love.
It took years to get over it... YEARS! After I learned their was a program with hypnosis to get over lost
love that I was never gonna get.... well I was glad it existed and sore that I did not know about it years ago. | |
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| Its been a year since it ended
Posted: 8/16/2012 4:57:38 AM | | to the lady above thankyou for ur insight your right its just the reality of everday thankyou!im trying to move on and date at moment!my health hasnt been so good iether, and I miss I hope be hypotinised but i'm not sure how the human heart or ind can forget or more is less supressing something surely u need to go through it to forget it not block it out? | |
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