| | Still meeting other peoplePage 1 of 1 | Ok so I meet this really cool girl. Our first date ends up being kinds of awkward, a date that typically would end up with me never talking to that person again. Took a while for us to meet up because she is busy with an accelerated school plan. Were just supposed to meet for drinks during happy hour. She got a few texts while we were there and hinted to me that hers friends were checking up on her. I thought after a few drinks, happy hour was over, and the date was done. It turns out that she invited her friends as they wanted to meet me. It was a decent date but she had a little too much to drink, and got sick. I helped her friends get her to the car, take her home etc. Her friends were like she is never like this, shes just been busy and stressed, and up since 5am. They said she was really excited about meeting me etc...So I decided to give her a chance.
We had a good laugh about what happened and I told her Id like to see her again regardless. So she texts me a ton the following morning and we end up meeting up at the beach. We had a good time and had a good laugh about the night before. I straight up asked if that was a normal thing, and if it was I was out. She said no.
So now we talk constantly online, like I have used FB chat with girl more in the past week than I have used it in a year. Whenwere not talking on that she is texting me. Im an honest person so I let her know that I like her, and what my intentions are. She says she likes me, but its just doesnt feel that way to me. When I like someone i'm excited to see them. I completely understand that she is busy with school etc. I feel bad because I keep asking when do I get to see you again etc, and her answers don't seem as excited as mine, and she doesnt really want to ever pin down a date.
ALSO and this is the kicker. I tell my friend about her. And guess what? hes on POF and just sent a message to her yesterday, and she was all "Im busy up until the end of the week but after that im free!"....
no idea what to think... | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 3:09:33 AM | | It means that she is keeping her options open. It means that her time isn't yours to monopolize. It means you have the same freedom to see others as does she. It also means that if she were thirty pounds over weight, you'd not have put up with her behavior. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 4:02:49 AM | Sounds to me , that for a guy who claims not to know what to think, that you are doing WAAAAAAY too much of that.
You had ONE, very stumbling, drunken, partial first-meet/date, and a vague meet-up at the beach, and now you are trying to glue yourself to her emotionally like a barnacle.
How old is she? I see you are 28, well old enough not to be acting like a puppy-love struck teen. If she is early twenties, that would explain everything nicely. She's in an "Accelerated school plan?" Unless that is Graduate School, Doctorate Program for speed readers, then you are chasing a young college girl. Any chance that the reason she was wary of you was that you are eight years or more older?
You try to chase young college girls at your age, and you are going to have to accept the young college girl lifestyle. Sounds creepy to me. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 4:56:59 AM | | She sounds like a typical young single girl. LOL I mean really? Chatting, texting, FB, alcohol, College, gee whiz and you do not know what to think??? | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 5:44:05 AM | | She is too busy with school to get into a serious, exclusive relationship. She sounds like she wants to have FUN, with the drinking, friends constantly around, and dating mEn. That is her right. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 5:55:29 AM | | shes a player , get use to it , its to easy to keep options open with the power of internet | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 6:48:51 AM | WTF do you mean you have
no idea what to think... You had one awkward date and talked a bit/ . Im an honest person so I let her know that I like her, and what my intentions are. She says she likes me, but its just doesnt feel that way to me.
She says she likes me, but its just doesnt feel that way to me. When I like someone i'm excited to see them. I completely understand that she is busy with school etc. NO YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! She is not to busy. Its not school.
but its just doesnt feel that way to me. How can you find that confusing?? Just move on buddy. She not that into you.
You are excited to see her. She really is not excited to see you.
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 6:58:58 AM | | Sounds like you are more mature and looking for a relationship and she is just out there to meet people and have fun cause she can't handle anymore than that right now. I would move on. Not only did she basically offer to go out with another person on the dating site, but she has proven to be too busy to handle herself let alone a relationship. Clearly you have only known her a short while and everyone on here is free to go on dates with different people at the same time. That's what dating is...but if she was really into you and really wanted to get to know you she wouldn't be. If she is that busy with her academic life, how is she suppose to truly get to know multiple guys at once? Just a thought. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 8:14:47 AM | | she almost 27, has other degrees, and is going back for something different. creepy? lol | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 8:33:28 AM | I really don't get why some people think one meeting/date means "instant, exclusive, drop everyone and everything else relationship." OP, you don't own her, and she's free to see other people. She also doesn't own you, so you are also free to see other people. Until you sit down with someone and have the "exclusivity" talk, both of you can see who you want. As far as her responding to your friend's message on here, why the he!! aren't you doing the same with other girls?! Instead of playing immature games by trying to trick her with your friend's profile, quit stalking her, enjoy getting to know her, and meet other girls until you find the one girl that you both agree to be in an exclusive relationship. Quit making things more difficult than they need to be.
BTW, if I found out a guy I was seeing had played that stupid game by trying to trick me with a friend's profile like you did, he would be out. Just saying. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 9:43:17 AM |
She says she likes me, but its just doesnt feel that way to me.
What's your whole Opening Post about when she's already told you???? ^^^^^ | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 10:39:00 AM |
ALSO and this is the kicker. I tell my friend about her. And guess what? hes on POF and just sent a message to her yesterday, and she was all "Im busy up until the end of the week but after that im free!"....
no idea what to think...
Really? I mean seriously? You don't know what to think? dude... she's keeping her options open! Just like you should and if you feel she doesn't like you as much as you do then why the heck are you continuing to constantly talk to her??
Oh and when you asked her if her getting drunk was the norm, do you honestly think she would have said yes?
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Move on. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 12:38:26 PM | OP:
I think you are a sweet, perfectly normal guy. Don't let this taint your future dealings with women. It's great to be a one girl at a time guy. It's just that this lady is not looking for the same thing as you AT THIS TIME. She's not convinced her search is over. Most people in their 2o's aren't these days, it seems.
If you like her, continue to date her - if she accepts. If you feel there is no connection or you prefer a one guy at a time woman, then you will move on. It's the way of the world sometimes.
We do not all have the same standards, and unfortunately our own standards are usually the only ones we can count on to judge someone by. It's part of the search; to find someone compatible whose standards will match our own. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 5:26:22 PM | | You're a great guy deserving of a great girl. So have sex and party with this one, because obviously that's all she's good for. | |
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Posted: 7/31/2012 5:42:09 PM | I know this is hard. I'm sure all of us expierenced this one time or another. Like others have pointed out, until you and her have the "exclusive" talk, both of you are free as a bird to see other people, date as many people as want, until you find the one you want to be in a relationship with, who also feels the same.
Regardless of her age, she is busy with school, school comes first. That being said, she's probably not looking for a commitment right now, as don't have the time. I'm sure she feels that it would be unfair to the guy, if she got in a relationship with him but just doesn't have the time. So, in the meantime, she is just going out and having fun. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 5:32:46 AM | You're not ina relationship with her yet and to be honest if you keep on this way, you never will be.
You need to stop texting, chatting to her all the time, every day etc. Give her the gift of missing you. If you and her are always talking so much then why would she really need to meet up with you? You understand me. She's busy, she knows your mad keen to see her, she's always talking to you anyway......
Break the trend. If you can meet this girl, you can meet others too. And then you won't be so focused on this girl so theres more chance it will work out. Stop pressuring for a meet, stop being so available and go out and have fun.
On;t reply to all her texts. Date other women etc | |
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