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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?      Home login  
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 IndianaJones55
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 1
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?Page 1 of 1    
Saw this in a woman's profile today, found it somewhat disturbing:

"If your profile says wants to date but nothing serious, that to me is just FWB"....etc...

I am hoping not every woman thinks like that. I spent some time on Match and the women
I met there expected an exclusive dating relationship from the first cup of coffee!

It was great to find POF had women with more flexibility.

Doesn't anyone date just for fun? I like dating women for all sorts of reasons...
sure I am guy so not going to turn down sex, but it is not the ONLY reason I like women.
All women are beautiful and interesting to me , so I don't want to limit myself to dating only one.

Another woman I met said a guy who dated a lot of women was just putting notches on
his belt.

So what is the consensus ladies? Am I an immature self-centered jerk because I do NOT want
to date exclusively? Or am I letting one or two comments carry too much weight?

(And what of women who use that category? Surely they are not just looking for FWB?)
 pinkkpeony
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 2
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:03:35 PM
That's what people on here made it to be but really it should mean what it says. I disagree it means FWB, if somebody is looking for that they can say so in their profile.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 3
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:10:52 PM
Wants to date, but nothing serious means just what it means...I'm dating but I am currently not looking for a relationship.

My profile reads hang-out, and is looking for no commitment and many guys interpret that as me wanting my brains fcked out when in actuality that is not the case at all.

We all have our own ways of interpreting what is stated on our own profiles, and others dictate our profiles in other ways.
 kangia
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 4
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:34:38 PM
For me I am just looking for a male to do things with because I have relocated. I am not looking for a relationship and honestly don't want to 'date'. I do NOT want FWB!

But if I put 'hang out' then I find people interpret it meaning 'hooking up'. There are others like me who would like the opposite sex to go to movies, dinner, dancing, or just good conversation away from the responsiblities,... you know let our hair down. I'd rather be thier wingwoman and cheer them on.
 kangia
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 5
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:36:57 PM
@rushluv

I had hang out at first with my profile....and your right about what guys thought it meant....I just got creeped out and changed my preference.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:51:22 PM
Doesn't anyone date just for fun?

Every so often you try it but when root canals and presurgical enemas seem more fun, you stop. Too many crazies of both genders. Not bitter, just stating the facts.
 katymay74
Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 7
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 11:46:43 PM
My profile says "wants to date but nothing serious" and it doesn't mean FWB. I just tell the guys I chat with that I'm interested in meeting new people, dating for fun, and if it leads to something serious i'm Ok with that too. I'm basically here with no specific agenda or expectations.
 JDH1120
Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 8
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/1/2012 11:59:31 PM
My interpretation of it is that a woman, or a man is looking to date, either just one person, or multiple people, but without the exclusivity of a relationship. They like having someone they can connect with on a somewhat emotional level without having to attach themselves to someone. It doesnt mean they are looking for a FWB, even though sex may be involved. They simply like having someone who is more than a friend, but less than a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Some may see that as exactly what a FWB is, but IMO, a FWB has no emotional connection. It's purely hang out, and have sex on occasion. The "nothing serious" scenario means the two understand each other pretty well, but are too independent to be tied down, and arent looking for a long term situation. When its time to part, they say their goodbyes, and go along their separate ways.
 BlaineV
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 9
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:46:46 AM
I don't know why anyone would waste time dating, if they're not interested in a relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean that you'll end up in a relationship with the first person you meet. But I think it's safe to say that most people's long term goal is to end up in a relationship. Isn't that what dating is all about?

If you're looking for friends, it wouldn't be called dating. And I usually avoid anyone who uses the whole 'dating but nothing serious' line, as I'd probably just assume that they were looking for something sexual.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 10
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 2:14:54 AM
Not everybody wants meaningless, pointless, NSA dates/encounters with men in their advanced ages, particularly.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 11
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 5:38:11 AM
OP if you want to see a lot of different people for activities, maybe online dating is not for you.
Join a church social group instead.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:53:41 AM
I bypass "Wants to date but nothing serious"

As men are mostly physical, I find the above equates to wanting a FWB.
Not for me.
Sorry.

I move on.
 Aegle24
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 13
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:31:02 AM
It all depends on what you are looking for but yes I do think the men in my area in my age range believe that wants to date but nothing serious = FWB. If all I wanted was FWB I wouldn't need an online profile. I am here looking for a boyfriend so I do advanced searches that filter out men who are not ready for a relationship. Men who have listed wants to date but nothing serious are not at all what I am looking for.

My free time is very valuable so why would I want or need to waste it on a guy who is not available for a relationship especially when there are so many other men who are ready? Why would I want to be in an endless dating juggle with a bunch of other women? I am looking for a man who will pursue me and woo me and eventually evolve into an intimate monogamous relationship and I think on some level that's what many women want even those women who list wants to date but nothing serious. I think it's basic biology a woman's desire to bond with a mate. Oxytocin is a very powerful bonding brain chemical. I already have a large group of friends and can buy my own dinner. Dating without the potential of monogamy means no sex to me so what's the point?

I suggest OP that you do advanced searches for women and exclude those women who are looking for a relationship because the likelihood is that women looking for a relationship are not desperate enough to lower their standards to date you and for you to expect them to is unreasonable.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 14
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 10:43:01 AM
Op,first,you say this......

If your profile says wants to date but nothing serious, that to me is just FWB"....etc...

I am hoping not every woman thinks like that.

And,then you say......

Am I an immature self-centered jerk because I do NOT want
to date exclusively?


SO,its ok for you to not want to date exclusively but you dont want to meet a woman who thinks like you??
 Maggie__x
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 15
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:03:14 PM
I think so. I thought otherwise but the men I have met only want that when their profile says that. Then again women are different, I had it at that because I didn't want pressure I wanted things to happen naturally.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 16
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:16:44 PM

Doesn't anyone date just for fun? I like dating women for all sorts of reasons...
sure I am guy so not going to turn down sex, but it is not the ONLY reason I like women.
All women are beautiful and interesting to me , so I don't want to limit myself to dating only one.


Sure, I'd date a man just for fun---but if he were not going to turn down sex with other women, I would turn down sex with him.
 RyanReed
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 17
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:07:10 PM
They are DTF, so long as they feel comfortable around you.
 IndianaJones55
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 18
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:53:39 PM
Thanks for the responses ladies...and guys! All opinions are welcome and this discussion is very educational.


I do always filter my searches to avoid women looking for LTR. I even have that incoming my mail filter. If you are looking for an LTR, you cannot send me mail. I clicked on the profile I mentioned because she came up in my basic matches. Even "Refine search" doesn't really do much to change that. Of course as soon as I read she was looking for an LTR (which is almost always the first thing I check) I immediately dismissed her profile.

Please consider the following scenario...it is Wednesday night and I am planning my weekend. There is a concert I want to attend Friday night and I feel like going to see Spider-man on Saturday.. I pull out a list of five women I have dated once, some twice, all of whom I met online, none of which I have said I was exclusive with.

Sure, I could go alone, but sharing things makes them twice as much fun. And to me at least, sharing them with a woman makes them ten times as much fun. To me there is nothing more beautiful than seeing the smile on a woman's face and knowing I helped put it there.

I remember that Donna likes the same type of music I do but hates super-hero movies. Angela doesn't care for the music I like, but loves super-hero movies.

So Friday night Donna, Saturday Angela.

But Angela already has plans for Saturday (she already has a date with some other guy -- good for her!) so I call up Susan, who also likes super-hero movies and she is free.

This is how I have chosen to date. I am seeking other women near me who also date like this. They are very hard to find.

Many of the comments I have read here seem to indicate that no matter which category I use, if it is not LTR, then SOME women will think I am only interested in sex or putting notches on my belt.

Sigh....

Ah well, it was definitely NOT a consensus.
Many comments were from women who think of it the way I do (none of whom live anywhere near me --- lol!).

So I guess I will keep the category I have knowing that women who think that I am only interested in sex or a FWB would not have liked me anyway, if only because we don't think about dating the same way.

Again, thanks for all the comments everyone!
 buterfly41978
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 19
Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/2/2012 4:16:38 PM

Sure, I could go alone, but sharing things makes them twice as much fun. And to me at least, sharing them with a woman makes them ten times as much fun. To me there is nothing more beautiful than seeing the smile on a woman's face and knowing I helped put it there.

I remember that Donna likes the same type of music I do but hates super-hero movies. Angela doesn't care for the music I like, but loves super-hero movies.

So Friday night Donna, Saturday Angela.

But Angela already has plans for Saturday (she already has a date with some other guy -- good for her!) so I call up Susan, who also likes super-hero movies and she is free.

This is how I have chosen to date. I am seeking other women near me who also date like this. They are very hard to find.


To me, what you are looking for is friends to hang out with... not dating...

I think everyone sees things differently..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 20
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Wants to date but nothing serious = FWB?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:17:10 AM
It can be casual, an FB or NSA. An FWB would have to be someone she's already friends with first and knows fairly well. Sorry - I had to post something. People keep misusing that term.

OT: someone who wants to date but nothing serious isn't looking to settle down. That may or not include sex. They don't have a lot of time, or they aren't over someone, or they aren't in a place in life where they feel like getting serious. Some are looking for friendship and miscategorize themselves. It happens.
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