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 CawkBlawker
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 1
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?Page 1 of 1    
I work from home and don't always shower until the afternoon. Hey don't judge! LOL I will just throw on something that can pass for outdoor clothes and put my hair in a ponytail and wear sunglasses. I mean I'm only doing this so I don't scare small children and the people on the streets on NYC have had enough problems without me adding to them. I do this to go to the corner store or to walk my dog. Also I won't bathe before I go to workout. Yes, I'm a disgusting pig. This seems to be the most attractive thing for men in my area on any given day. I mean if they got close enough to me to smell me, they would probably think twice. I get approached and asked out and even proposed to on the spot multiple times. But if I am dressed up for a night out, very rarely will someone approach me. So do most men like women that put zero effort into their appearance and look a hot mess over women that take the time to look good?

For the record, I haven't bathed today yet.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:24:22 PM
I get approached and asked out and even proposed to on the spot multiple times. But if I am dressed up for a night out, very rarely will someone approach me. So do most men like women that put zero effort into their appearance and look a hot mess over women that take the time to look good?

I shouldn't answer this because I have doubts that any of the OP post is true..

But that phenomenon is known by some that have researched the issue..

Many men are intimidated by an actual RL attractive and *made-up* woman with all the glitter on in a social setting where they are *expected* to do the approaching and take all the high risks of rejection.

Whereas in an everyday situation where that same woman may be unmade and dressed down or extremely casual,
she may seem much softer, warmer and less likely to summarily reject anyone that happens to casually talk to her...
( Sophia Loren had that casual approachable look in many of her movies)
So men may feel they can approach easier and make conversation with less likelihood of being shot down,
then be amazed when they get a positive response and will try to establish a "relationship" with the casual-dressed attractive woman wherever they find her.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 3
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:27:39 PM
They probably think: "She's beautiful, but she's a mess. Easy pickin's.". ;)

It makes you more approachable. You're probably way too gorgeous when you're all dolled up.
 POF_BS
Joined: 7/15/2012
Msg: 4
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:30:15 PM
Well I believe you because I have experienced the same.

It has made me wonder why I go to so much trouble the rest of the time.

I will be watching this to see if any men can shed some light to this phenomenon.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 5
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:43:12 PM
Note to self : Stop showing.

Good to know.
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:02:15 PM
But if I am dressed up for a night out, very rarely will someone approach me.

this should tell you something about your wardrobe choices.
 RenegadePassionTrip69
Joined: 3/23/2011
Msg: 7
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:05:13 PM
"You're gonna look like that when I'm through with you anyway...."
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 8
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:08:09 PM

I mean if they got close enough to me to smell me, they would probably think twice. I get approached and asked out and even proposed to on the spot multiple times. But if I am dressed up for a night out, very rarely will someone approach me....

Scents and perfumes mask our natural odors, the natural orders that nature used to attract pair bonds with the greatest chance of producing the strongest offspring.




...So do most men like women that put zero effort into their appearance and look a hot mess over women that take the time to look good?

That entirely depends on if her father does or does not own a brewery.
 MyNameWasTaken2
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 9
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:19:33 PM
To me there is nothing sexier than beautiful woman that doesn't need makeup on and dresses for comfort. She looks good in whatever she wears. I would definitely approach someone like that rather than someone who is all dolled up that looks to be out of my league or high maintenance.
 FairlyAlright
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 10
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:34:53 PM


I work from home


I stopped reading there. You're able to work from home? Tell me more.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 11
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 1:50:58 PM
I'm almost the opposite. If I see a woman looking really good, I am just that much more attracted to her. But one can tell which women need a little more time and makeup than others. You're a natural beauty. Good for you. And you work from home. I hate you. LOL!
 FisherMane2012
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 12
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 2:07:15 PM
I don't talk to stinky girls. That's 3rd grade playground rules right there.
 Pirate_Peat
Joined: 5/10/2012
Msg: 13
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 2:08:47 PM
I do get stunned when I see a girl that knows how to sweat at the gym, all flushed red huffing and puffing...I get so dirty minded I just wanna lick her clean!...i've never done that before and would likely feel very sick if I tried but that's that..some caveman instinct? or just pheromone overdose what ever it is drives me wild
 sactowndude
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 14
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 2:25:34 PM
There must be some desperate men in NYC, I'm not saying you are unattractive OP but a man that would propose to you on the spot is a nut....or an illegal looking for a green card.


For the record, I haven't bathed today yet.


Thank you for sharing.
 TC2u
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 15
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:31:34 PM
1, you look easy-er, 2 you look intimidating. My guess.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:38:16 PM
I think Tall is closest to the best explanation, in the very first response.

OP, there is a ton of established social data being communicated by how anyone shows themselves in public. A guy wearing a business suit, triggers most people to assume he is technically at work when they meet him. If he is wearing a Tux, then he is either a waiter in a VERY expensive restaurant, out taking a smoke break while waiting for a wedding to start, or (if otherwise scruffy looking) a homeless person who was just given a donated tux by the last shelter he stopped at.

A woman who is dolled up, is most often either technically at work, or a hooker, or is waiting to meet her date who is around the corner parking the car.

I would bet that if someone performed a study, they'd find that a woman who dressed up in order to try to attract male attention in a public venue, would tend to find that when they were approached, it was by the most callous and aggressive males, who held the least respect for other peoples' sensibilities. Simply due to the subconscious cues and assumptions people are accidentally taught to make about others, based upon their choice of apparel.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 17
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:47:56 PM
unbathed women look much better and smell better
than us guys when we get lazy.
trust me on that.

So it is not a surprise you gain attention being so.

It seems to be...if a girl looks good abit slobby,
then she'll look great dressed up.
So looking that way doesn't deter guys.
In fact it makes you more approachable than
when you are dressed to kill.

We figure you probably need a guy in your messy life.
and aren't too picky if you are dressed like that.
:-P
 netcowboy
Joined: 6/18/2012
Msg: 18
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:58:54 PM
Sometimes it's not what you are
but what you're not.
Or maybe being messy
is just the new hot.
 sosse
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 19
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Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:59:52 PM
Darn, I feel intimidated by this post in the sense that I feel it is required to divulge my personal hygiene status just to respond! Suffice it to say that I haven't shaved my legs today - or any other day.

OP, I don't know that I am qualified to respond with any authority, since to all appearances NYC is an enigma sociologically speaking. In my little town it is an unwritten rule that you have to make small talk at least twice before you can propose marriage.

Notwithstanding I don't think that it has been too many decades since the "high-maintenance" and "low-maintenance" descriptors for a woman of dating age were popular. If I feel the expectations that are placed on me to sustain a relationship with a woman that I am attracted to, it would be very easy to pass. Also, there is the confidence issue. A woman who is cute and comfortable enough with herself that she can go anywhere and do anything at a moments notice is much more attractive at first look than someone who may only be comfortable in a high-society location.

I also not that you are blessed with the quandary about how to interpret so much attention. See a few of the other threads here that have to do with how to deal with zero attention. Be glad that you can dress up to keep the sharks at arm's length or roll out of bed in the morning as you are and real in 15 men-of-your-dreams (or possibly nightmares).

By the way everything is relative. You did indicate that bathing is a normal expectation for you to go into public, even if you disregard it. Remember there were centuries when bathing would not have been a daily occurrence, possibly true even now for many other cultures. Still males and females still managed to bond and procreate. Maybe New York males are just more in tune with their historical roots than you expect!!
 Amberjay.
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 20
Unbathed hot mess....attractive?
Posted: 8/2/2012 5:12:55 PM
i 100% confirm this to be true, when im looking very casual i get approached alot more. on a night out hardly ever.. but ive been told by men i work with i can be quite intimidating.
so i agree that it makes you more aproachable
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