| | just wondering what is ok and what is not.Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Is it OK to meet someone have a good time , everything looks positive... then come back to POF the next day? Does that mean there was no chemistry? or Is POF that addictive people cant get out of it even if they found the love of their life? | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:16:31 PM | | You can come on here whenever you want to --- but if/when you get into a committed relationship it is only proper to hide or delete your profile. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:20:44 PM | | It doesn't mean it went bad, it might have went great. But tons of us guys built a habit of still coming here until it works out from the woman's end | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:29:29 PM | There are no real rules or right way to do dating, especcially online dating...
for some yes they are that addicted, for others it's a lifestyle. Dating is hard and also can be dangerous\on many levels as to your emotinsd and spirit, so you have to move through prospects in a manner to avoid all that
and keep feelings out if it until you get to know someone. not always so easy
so the answer to all your queestions is maybe and it depends on the person | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:29:42 PM |
POF that addictive people cant get out of it even if they found the love of their life?
What makes you think that this person who you are referring to has all of a sudden "found the love of his life"; even if that is what he said to you on the initial encounters, did you really believe it? | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:51:16 PM | | When in a relationship (IMO) people should delete their profile, not hide it. We all know full and well, seraches,contact, everything can still be done behind the scenes on here. Hiding it means very little. Especially since men 'claim' to get very little responses on here. And it takes very little to make a new profile if it doesn't work out-so don't let anyone fool you. However, until you are comitted-you can both be on here-even though the guy I have went out with recently (and will see again this weekend) has not been on his since we met--but I have! Just all depends on the person really. All is fair game until you are exclusive. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 6:54:34 PM | It has to mean one lousy thing or the other lousy thing? I think your anger is showing. It would mean that I had a good date and that I still live my life day-to-day and if someone was following me online and spying me and posting about me in a negative way, I'd be done with them. Really, one date then tests, not someone I'd want in my life. Too ready to jump to the negative and most likely quick to attack also.
I don't delete my profile, I am totally able to not cheat, not be looking for better, and all that other so-called proper stuff to do so someone insecure can keep breathing, not my thing, I can be honest & faithful and be online. I do not know why that is such a big deal. If someone is going to cheat or lie they will do so, whether they keep coming to POF or not. I base a person's worth and compatibility on things much more important. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:01:32 PM | | no daynadaze ...sorry i didnt say it happened to me it says im just wondering whats right whats wrong. theres no reason for me to be angry, sometimes i like to know peoples opinion for i wont make mistakes. thanks | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:12:01 PM | | It doesn't mean it went badly, POF can be addictive and it's a habit to log in. Plus maybe they were on seeing if they got a message from you. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:20:16 PM | | Don't expect much if you're not in a comitted relationship. Not too many guys will delete their account just because a woman likes them. People do eventually come back sometimes a few times. Why should they make a new account and profile. Some profiles are long and it would take considerable amount to create one again. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:21:02 PM | I agree that logging on and checking mail can be habit forming. Doesn't make it wrong though.
Until you are in an exclusive relationship you should not feel guilty about coming back to the sight. Can't tell you you how many times I thought something was going well only to have someone "poof" on me.
If you don't want to be rude to folks messaging you, while you are dating someone, you may want to hide your profile. (That's where other people can't see your profile, not deleted.) Once you are in an exclusive relationship though you should be respectful of your significant other and delete your profile. I hope this helps. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:57:55 PM | everybody is different. have you heard that before? lol
i should think that if i found someone i was interested in and was seeing him regularly, i would have no need or time for being on a dating site.
it can be fun, even interesting..but so are crosswords or watching t.v. which i also do just to relax. when i have nothing else to do.
bottom line is if i were dating, i would cancel/delete the entire thing. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:41:41 PM | Yes, POF is addictive.
But more importantly: one date, no matter how good it was, was still just a "first date". It might become the beginning of a relationship, but that remains to be seen. Man people, probably including most who have been on POF very long, don't put all their eggs in one basket because they know that a good first date doesn't always result in a second date, and a second date doesn't necessarily mean a third one. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:10:03 PM |
meet someone have a good time , everything looks positive... then come back to POF the next day? Does that mean there was no chemistry? or Is POF that addictive
Yes POF can be addictive, especially if reinforced by a series of "hits and quits" which may be truly what the person is seeking from here,
DESPITE anything they may have said or done on those "first date hits".
It means they are getting something from coming online here, maybe more than they are willing to admit to.. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:26:44 AM | maybe he is coming on the next day to tell all the others he was talking to that he has been out with someone he really likes and to wish them luck in finding someone else.
or he still wants to talk to those others in case things don't pan out with the one he went out with.
or a hundred other things.
i'll be the nth person to say it, but you need to have a thick skin for doing online dating. them going online, or not texting you for a day or two, is not necessarily a bad thing. people have their own lives and conduct themselves as they see fit. it's only with this internet and overlapping levels of close communication we can have with people now, that we are able to actually see their everyday habits where before you'd have no idea what they are up to. and it's really none of your business what they are up to, despite how they leave a trail or even announce (in the case of things like fb and twitter) their activities and moods.
and also, as was said, how can you know if they go on pof unless you also go on pof? you can't unearth stuff unless you're digging... | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:17:24 PM | | Coming back to pof the next day simply means you realize that one meeting doesn't make a life time's commitment to a person you hardly know. Do you honestly believe that you've found the love of your life after a single meeting? Really? You might have had a good time on one occasion but that was one occasion. Relationships take time to develop. A realist doesn't put all their eggs in one basket, but goes further afield, whilst developing their relationships. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:20:48 PM | I'm head over heals with someone and yet I'm here every day... and he has no worries.
Moral of the story dear:
It's not what you do here, it's what you do when you're "with him".
Make sure he knows how you feel... Give him no reason to worry. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:25:22 PM | These sites are very addictive to some people -- not all people. They get caught up in the mentality that someone better might sign up the next day and they want a shot at that person -- no matter that whoever they just met is a wonderful person, great chemistry, etc.
I met a guy on another site and dated him for a year before I found out that he had a profile on POF and was continuing to meet other women. And I thought everything was great. He's STILL looking for his "soulmate". | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:35:47 PM | | Yep it's fine IMO, and it's not very healthy to worry about doing it yourself or check up to see if someone else is doing it. Don't trust that anyone is faithful, for years, if ever, depending on their personality. Hardly anyone is faithful, assume they will cheat on you, IMO. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 6:21:24 PM | Well, OP,
It takes a bit of time to get to know a person. Even if there is mutual attraction, there's no substitute for knowing and being known. When one is on an online dating site, it's pretty normal that they would be corresponding with more than one. It doesn't seem wrong or odd to me that your Mr. wonderful you had good chemistry with was back online the next day. I think it's wise to meet more than one person to be really clear on individual preferences. For your sake, wouldn't you like to know that of the available choices YOU were the one he picked? Have faith in yourself and the process. | |
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| just wondering what is ok and what is not.
Posted: 8/3/2012 6:55:34 PM | It is up to you what you do. You are not in a committed relationship and can leave your options open just as the men do. Rarely is the chemistry there with meets from a cyberspace dating site and if someone finds the love of their life, they would not bother with a profile or just hide it.
Most women find the sites disappointing because of the quality of the men so after a while I imagine any fantasies about being popular and having a lot of contacts, will mean nothing. Men typically find it hard to make contacts due to the overwhelming numbers of them compared to women. | |
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