| | How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...Page 1 of 1 | Hi Guys.
Not all women like facial hair or tatoos on men, and some are actually turned off by them. I am one of them.
A mustache may be ok, depends on the guy.
Should I mention that I don't feel a romantic inclination toward guys with tatoos, or beards?
Which would be the right way to do it without being offensive?
I have read some fantastic profiles, and know that without a beard in the way, I would be inclined to contact the guy,
but the beard and tatoos are, for some unknown reason, a deal breaker.........I don't want to hurt people's feelings or come through like a witch....Any ideas? Thanks | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:31:17 PM | | be a clean communicator. write on your page, 'i do not date men with tattoos or beards.' the sentiment is fair and the language is neutral, so if someone gets offended, it's on them, not you. you can't control how anyone else thinks, so don't worry about it. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:38:31 PM | I also don't like beards but I've never understood how this can be a deal breaker for some?
What happens if you are happily married and your husband decides to grow a beard? Would you not still love him?
I don't find beards attractive but I hope that if my 'Mr Right' happened to have one, I'd be able to see past it rather than pass him by. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:41:41 PM |
be a clean communicator. write on your page, 'i do not date men with tattoos or beards.' the sentiment is fair and the language is neutral, so if someone gets offended, it's on them, not you. you can't control how anyone else thinks, so don't worry about it.
Great answer. If you already put a disclaimer on your page that no matter what, you just don't like certain physical attributes on a man, then they have no reason to complain at all if you don't respond.
I have a beard and tattoos, and personally wouldn't be offended if you didn't respond, especially if it was on your page that you didn't like it. I kinda feel like sending a message back that says, "Sorry, don't like your beard or tattoos" would just open up an argument with less mature guys.
But like was said before, just post it on your page for them to see without even messaging. Bottom line, is personal taste is personal taste, and you can't help it. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:41:53 PM | you have such a lovely and positive profile that I think it would be a shame to add any negative spin to it.
You could simply respond to the men that have these dealbreakers with a ' thanks for your message but we aren't a match'...or just ignore them. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:44:00 PM | | I don't like facial hair either but I'm not going to turn away the ideal person just because he might have it. If that's the only reason you can find to turn someone away, I think you are in a very lucky position. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:48:53 PM | Thanks everybody,
I have a couple of male friends with tatoos and mustaches and beards and I love them to pieces.
Maybe is not the beard or the tatoos or the moustache. Maybe I just have not found my match, with or without....... | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:51:05 PM | | Except for five months of basic and AIT, I've had a mustache since I was 16 years old. After I got out of high school, I had a beard until I enlisted and, except for the gray ("WHITE!"... damn!) in it now, I'm enjoying having one again since retiring from my military career. When I read in a woman's profile that she prefers clean-shaven men, I have no problem with it, I'm not insulted, and I move on. I know some men do it but, personally, I think it's stupid to contact a woman whose preferences in a man are not in line with what I offer. You prefer what you prefer and that's that. Just state it and be done with it. Don't worry so much about offending others. In written communication, it's easy to spend so much time trying not to be offensive that you do a lousy job... or even fail completely... at making the actual point you wanted to put forth. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:03:16 PM | | I have had the same problem and had to "clarify" on my profile what I am NOT into...it's just my preference and I stated that....just like any likes and dislikes....not everyone is attracted to beards, tattoos, over weight people...and some are EXTREMELY attracted to tats, few extra pounders, and the grizzly Adams look....just not me. And that's ok...you are allowed to like what you like and not like what you don't like...so no worries. Just state it in your profile. Good luck. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:47:56 PM | | I just don't seem to have a problem getting a lot of messages from men I don't find attractive in some way. I don't care for beards though. I saw a man with a beard eating the other day and food was falling in it. I wouldn't want to kiss someone after that. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/2/2012 10:58:37 PM | As long as you aren't extremely demeaning with how you say, just say it. It's YOUR profile, you should feel free to express your preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. in an adult manner.
Will some send you rude contacts because of it? Probably. But that is on them, not you.
I used to have a "no facial hair" comment in my profile in a joking manner. I got a couple of rude comments for it, but it did also help me screen who actually read my profile.
In the end it is YOUR profile, which is about what YOU are looking for and what YOU like or dislike. Say what you want. Let the dust settle how it will. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:33:08 AM | Post - Not into beards, facial hair, tattoos, etc. ENTER
Or you may ask if they'd be willing to remove it. I would shave the goattee if someone asked nicely and thought I'd be more attractive without. It's facial hair, what the hell do I care. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/3/2012 3:02:27 AM | I agree with the "clean shaven" idea some have posted.
Nothing wrong with that.
It's how you angle it, that will make it insulting or simply being you stating your preferences.
I.E "If you have facial hair, tattoos, or...no thanks"
Versus
"My turn ons--clean shaven men, men with no tattoos, etc."
Puts the message out there, without damaging any egos. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:00:38 AM | It is an established fact, that on this planet at least, as soon as you exhale your first breath, someone somewhere feels dreadfully offended.
I have genuinely witnessed people becoming furious, because a stranger greeted them the first time, by saying "Hi."
Just say what you do and don't like, as matter-of-factly as you can, and then ignore the ones who pitch a fit. You would never be able to make them happy anyway, nor would you want to waste your life trying to. | |
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| How to post a turn off, without hurting others feelings...
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:28:18 AM | | I don't like tats, but didn't put it in my profile. What if it's a little out of the way tat. I'm not going to make a mountain out of a molehill. If she belongs in a circus, I'll simply ignore or move on. | |
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