| | Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | Just had this conversation and the guy actually expects me to cancel the trip and lose the $4000 because I have been seeing him for a couple of months. I think faithful doesn't change no matter how far away a person is and that he is already showing signs of jealousy and attempting to "control" me. Should I give up Bali and a wonderful trip for a guy that seems this insecure? I sure never asked him to cancel his motorcycle trip last week. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:35:18 PM | Sheesh...You should have told him that it was a business trip.
If he wants you to stay back so bad...ask him for the $4000.
If he's not even your boyfriend...tell him to mind his own business.
I don't see any scenario where losing $4000 is a good plan. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:37:28 PM | I think faithful doesn't change no matter how far away a person is and that he is already showing signs of jealousy and attempting to "control" me. Should I give up Bali and a wonderful trip for a guy that seems this insecure? I sure never asked him to cancel his motorcycle trip last week
I think he really wants to go WITH you, but actually can't afford it right now. He seems to really be into you after only two months..
Seems many women on here may say they would enjoy that level of interest.. But you still gotta do what you gotta do. Go.
(Just don't tellim about us on that gorgeous deserted beach on that tropical island... ) | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:41:05 PM | What's wonderful about a guy who, at only 60 days of knowing you, is
showing signs of jealousy
attempting to "control" me
this insecure?
I think you should cancel him and enjoy Bali guilt-free! Because even if he relents and "let's" you go, he'll make you pay for it. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:43:57 PM | I would cancel the relationship.
That would be jumping the gun. They are still in the phase of learning in their relationship. Congratulations OP...you just learned that the man you are dating is insecure (which we all are to one extent or the next). Effective communication and decisiveness on your part is plenty to mitigate this.
If it isn't...THAN I'd consider ending the relationship, but not before. At a certain point, people have to stop expecting that the only good things worth keeping around are easy. If he doesn't change his tune once he knows you won't cave...replace him in orderly fashion.
His focus should be less on trying to stop you, and more on treating you so well that you don't WANT anyone else, coupled with a tight line of communication in your absence. Whatever his issue, he is clearly not a very good strategist. | |
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tjl503
| | Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 10 | |
| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:45:20 PM | Have y'all had "the talk" to be exclusive? It's only been two months you have to ask yourself if you think he's a keeper, if you're still skeptical dump his ass so you can have fun on the singles trip. No refunds whatsoever or is that what you want him to think?
There's no way I would want my girl to go on a singles cruise and if it was the other way around there's no way I would give up 4 gs to stay at home because my new SO doesn't want me to go.
He shouldn't be happy about it but because of the no refund policy he shouldn't give you a hard time about it. He could plant a tracking device on you to track the comings and goings of your vagina while on this trip. (don't give him any ideas) Go on the trip, if he's still around when you get back then so be it. I think you would have more fun being single on a singles cruise. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:56:50 PM |
Just had this conversation and the guy actually expects me to cancel the trip and lose the $4000 because I have been seeing him for a couple of months. I think faithful doesn't change no matter how far away a person is and that he is already showing signs of jealousy and attempting to "control" me. Should I give up Bali and a wonderful trip for a guy that seems this insecure? I sure never asked him to cancel his motorcycle trip last week.
Seems you already know the answer. :) | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 11:17:38 PM | I think that instead of losing the $4000, you could just transfer the trip into my name and that would make both him and me two very happy people!!! lol
Well, since I know that is not going to happen, you go and enjoy that trip...Some people need to learn how to deal with their insecurities and that sounds like a big part of his problem, he is so insecure that he is trying to control you in the relationship...
Enjoy the cruise!!! | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/2/2012 11:29:45 PM | Don't do it!
I had someone want me to cancel major travel plans for new love before that cost even more than your 4k, which is no small amount to lose. I didn't, and I AM SO VERY VERY GLAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you will have a great trip in Bali!
Tell him if he's that into you to get time off, buy his own ticket and go with ;) | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:07:55 AM | It has nothing to do with insecurity, geez, that's the favorite word of the very single crowd around here. It's gonna be wierd for him, period. He is obviously opening up to you which is a vulnerable period for anyone with feelings and the thought of you leaving the country for a singles trip is off putting at the very least. Understandable.
What I know of singles vacation clubs is that the popular ones are set up to get very sexy. Lots of group activity designed to get your hormones pumping etc... Encouraging casual sex is a constant theme, maybe yours is more conservative. I don't know of any that are and I am in the vacation business and have heard many stories and they are pretty wild. If it's one of the Hedonism resorts you may as well bring several boxes of condoms, don't trust the ones made in asia...
What else did he do for you to consider him jealous and controlling besides ask you not to go? | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:06:50 AM |
It has nothing to do with insecurity, geez, that's the favorite word of the very single crowd around here. It's gonna be wierd for him, period. He is obviously opening up to you which is a vulnerable period for anyone with feelings and the thought of you leaving the country for a singles trip is off putting at the very least. Understandable.
What I know of singles vacation clubs is that the popular ones are set up to get very sexy. Lots of group activity designed to get your hormones pumping etc... Encouraging casual sex is a constant theme, maybe yours is more conservative. I don't know of any that are and I am in the vacation business and have heard many stories and they are pretty wild. If it's one of the Hedonism resorts you may as well bring several boxes of condoms, don't trust the ones made in asia...
What else did he do for you to consider him jealous and controlling besides ask you not to go?
This is the only intelligent response the OP's question got. Seriously, people; this woman is going on a SINGLES TRIP. That means a trip to hook up with men. Would you want someone you're seeing going on one without you? Its a free country, and this woman is free to slut it up all she wants, but don't expect any decent man to stay around while you do it, and don't come whining that men don't respect you when you will not act respectable.
I understand most people cannot see past the tips of their own noses, but do try and think how you would feel if you were in that man's shoes. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:34:02 AM | The "singles" thing needs serious thinking. Otherwise, I'd just say it was time to have the talk about making your own choices in life, and him being co-operative and a bit cooler about you not being with him every minute. That has to be done with lots of gentle, loving ego-boosting and meaning it too.
ED BEAR
"I won't be swinging on this trip because You are everything I need. So I'm just going to go to write a book about swinging singles." | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 3:34:53 AM | Rather than refer to it as a singles trip think of it as a vacation you already planned and paid for.
This new guy wants to see if you'll do what he says. Upfront he needs to find out who he's dealing with.
It's only going to get worse with him. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. To me that is a sign of weakness.
Which is why they try to be controlling.
So go and enjoy your trip to Bali. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 6:31:23 AM | | Yes you should. And while you spend type with the insecure guy, send me the tickets and all that to me. I will make sure to take tons of pictures with my phone and send them to you, so you will be sure that your money was being put to good use and that it provided extreme quantities of fun. | |
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| Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 6:42:56 AM | | Wow, so this guy is not allow to feel any kinda way? He is controlling, insecure, and jealous because he doesn't want the girl he is seeing to be surround by A LOT of single men, with money, and probably better looking them him? Thats whats going thru his head. Im not saying to write off a 4 grand trip, but the intent of the trip is to see other single people right? I dont think a motorcycle trip is equivalent lol. | |
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