| | Better connected via the Forums?Page 1 of 1 | I have found that meeting people on-line via these forums is a far better way to gauge their character than via their profile. Which makes me wish there was a slightly more interactive/social area where you CAN have chat threads without being restricted by the 2 in 10 rule, or the "no chat threads" rule.
The whole point of a dating site is to walk away with a compatible counter part. But it seems stupendously restricted if you can't socialise unrestricted.
So, to make this less pointless, redundant, self pitying, chatty...Should the forums be more open to allow people to connect better, or are we merely herded into a serial dating scheme that benefits no one? | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:44:04 AM | I totally agree. Not only that, but it's a good way of learning from others what does and doesn't work when it comes to writing out profiles or posting photos etc. It's great to know I can feel comfortable talking about anything here and at least be understood by others, even if they don't necessarily agree. Verity, you do indeed speak the truth :)
[EDIT] The 2 in 10 rule is a pain, I want to reply to a guy on these forums. Not trying to pull him, just reply haha | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:50:45 AM | setup messenger and tell them how to contact you.
the site does not have to provide chat.
remember the site if free to use | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:59:14 AM | Setting up messenger comes down to the same thing as sending messages on here. It's on a one to one basis.
I am more about socialising in a group setting. men and women talking without being restricted by forum rules as naff as no more than 2 messages in 10 replies. (Which, by the way, means I am now unable to comment further on my own thread!)
And just because the site is free, doesn't mean people can't have expectations or preferences.
See you in 10 replies! ;-) | |
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Posted: 8/3/2012 6:05:10 AM | The 2 in 10 rule is easy to over-ride, you just need to post a very wordy post in reply...that rule was devised to prevent chat type threads and one liner dialogues between two posters which would exclude others from contributing to a thread..
I generally quote parts of the post by certain posters I'm debating with in order to make my posts more substantive so as to ensure I can post replies when ordinarily that rule might otherwise kick in.
I think the moderation on the uk forums and other forums is generally easy-going and for the most part people can get away with all sorts of rule violations which are petty but the problem with excessive moderation generally arises due to the few who love to report other people's posts constantly....some people are targeted more than others and it's always more than likely because the reporter has an issue with them personally, so they abuse the right and privilege to report abuses of the rules....and I'm always amazed at how willing some moderators are prepared to accept the word of the complainant without actually trying to figure out if the complainant has a history of reporting a certain person or persons.
Anyway.................if you can manage to avoid upsetting some sensitive soul by being much more intelligent, much wittier and far more sensible than them, you might be ok and be able to get away with all sorts....or maybe not! | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:35:12 AM | I'm not too sure the Forums are a good medium for meeting people. Compared to how many use the site, Forumites are a tiny minority.
I do agree though it is good to get some rapport going in the Forums but as pointed out the Forums do have a seperate function and there is nothing to stop a meet up with someone via the forums if you get on ....unless they are 'fake' | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:44:42 AM | I think you might be slightly missing the point of the original post. She was writing more about the social aspects of talking to multiple people from this site via these forums. I agree with the OP as what you write, how you write it and how you interact with others can all be gauged (albeit only to a point) by speaking to people on the forums.
[EDIT] \/\/\/\/\/ Verity you've now officially made me belly-laugh more times in one week than I've ever done in my life. Let's iMingle and iDrink! :D *Runs and fetches only the best Islay single malt whisky (and some coffee for Verity)* | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 8:10:50 AM | Exactly what Phil said.
See it like walking into an iPub. Without the iDrunks iPawing you or the overpriced iDrinks. But with the option to converse with several people at the time, both men and women.
And a one on one conversation can get stilted when there are only 2 views on any subject. Women can befriend women and men can befriend men, without being segregated on the 'main' part of the site. Imagine the turn up on a PoF meet when people have had a chance to iMingle for a while before getting together... | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 9:55:48 AM | I agree with the OP, I like the idea of being able to 'chat' freely to many. The IM on POF drives me mad as I don't really wish to be tied to a conversation one on one.... it restricts me from getting on with a multitude of things I may want to be doing. I do like to come on here though inbetween doing things and you can just pick up where you were in the conversation ...almost!
Like for instance this afternoon I have been darning and every now and again I have been able to type with one hand in a stocking and the needle on the table, then pick up and carry on mending for a while. Oh a womans work is never done is it?
So I vote for a chatty room so long as it is light hearted and fun x | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:35:04 AM | | the two post limit does annoy me, often i`ve wanted to reply further to someone, or a topic, but i really cant be arsed with all the editing and quoting etc to bypass. | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:36:37 AM | | This has been an issue in the past for a lot of people which is why many have left or rarely use the forums now and instead have created or joined groups on Face Book. Some are closed groups, some are not but they are much more fun, more chatty and still have debates which thankfully do not revolve round whinging about why folk are not getting dates/replies. And of course with FB people can chat one on one if they wish. | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:39:12 AM | I think that is an excellent idea!
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:59:17 AM | | Verity I could not agree more... I am at a loss to understand why the forums are restricted to serious and moderated issues (ok I've done faceparty .. unmoderated isnt great but 2/10 posts? come on!). I think a general UK chat forum -or two- would be great. With an option to report IF things got out of hand. As I said on the "kissing" thread, it tends to be the fun ones which stay at the top and yet aren't strictly allowed...? | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:09:53 PM | Its all down to that good old 'elf and safety' - honestly, they dont want any of us claiming if we injure our fingers on the keyboard actually replying to a good/funny topic.
Said my bit, opening my second bottle of red, (it is friday night and i only got home from work at 11pm) | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:08:07 PM |
Should the forums be more open to allow people to connect better
the reason i like the forums is because there is no anticipation of making a connection with anyone... there is the whole www for that and im certain there are hundreds of sites where you can connect to your hearts content...
or are we merely herded into a serial dating scheme that benefits no one?
i was under the impression that we are here because we chose to join... how is anyone "herded" into a "serial dating scheme"....? and the assumption that it "benefits no one" is a bit misguided as well... i think its a bit narrow to think that everyone's agenda is the same as yours. we all contribute something different and we all take something different away with us... the forums were not intended to be a social networking arena and imo we would loose far more than we would gain if there wasnt some kind of moderation regarding the banter and chat... | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:17:05 PM | _nx_, what would we lose if we had more 'chat/banter' threads?
And I don't assume people have the same 'agenda' as I do. The opinions expressed in my replies are my own, and no one else's. I didn't think I would have to explain that.
Edit* I didn't say we are being herded. I ASKED if we were being herded. | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/4/2012 1:03:24 AM | the question doesn't make much sense to me.
how can you meet and get to know people on a forum?
the best way to get to know anyone is one to one not in a group.
you cant speak unrestricted in any group, there is always at least one that will object and kill the subject.
the forum just like in real life if you want, you go off n chat to one person, you dont try to chat in the group setting.
or the group will go off and leave the two of you to get on with it.
which is what would happen if two were chatting on a thread.
you can always send a forumite a pm if you want, unless of course they have restrictions that prevent it.
if you would like to get to know someone the only way is to meet in real life.
why do some people find that so hard to understand?
or maybe it's just too scary to contemplate. | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/4/2012 1:53:47 AM | | If you're going to have chatty threads you might as well go the whole hog and have proper chatrooms for people who like that sort of environment. | |
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| Better connected via the Forums?
Posted: 8/4/2012 2:43:52 AM |
_nx_, what would we lose if we had more 'chat/banter' threads?
we would lose a good percentage of the posters that post sensible/interesting stuff..
and we would gain feck all except a whole bundle of inane nonsense threads that are meaningless to the majority because of the underpinning clickyness that will emerge as a result of banter/chat threads...
Edit* I didn't say we are being herded. I ASKED if we were being herded.
and i think i asked, HOW you thought we are being herded... i dont recall ever being encouraged into a particular direction on this site. the individual is given complete autonomy on how they proceed with their online stuff... if someone feels they are being "herded" here on pof, imo they are doing something wrong... | |
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