| | controlling husband! please help need outPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | How do you deal with a controlling husband? No matter what I do its never enough and I get in trouble for everything. How do I leave someone who my child looks to as her father? I can hardly be with my family because he doesnt want me around them. I dont know how to deal with this anymore. Im tired of feeling like the dirt he walks on everyday. Ive resulted to coming on here just looking for a way out and hoping to find someone who knows how to be a decent person. I dnt want to cheat and I havent since we got married. I just need to know there is someone out there with a caring heart. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:27:53 PM | | Coming on here and finding someone else isn't the answer, you're going to have to leave on your own. If he's not physically abusive, then you should just end things, and get a separation. If you're not happy it's not going to be good for your child so it won't be worth it to keep the family together. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:28:07 PM | | Coming on here and finding someone else isn't the answer, you're going to have to leave on your own. If he's not physically abusive, then you should just end things, and get a separation. If you're not happy it's not going to be good for your child so it won't be worth it to keep the family together. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:29:08 PM | id have to ask how long youve been married, and what this guy is doing that makes you feel bad, and makes him so controlling.
also, i think it needs pointing out that a married woman looking for a relationship on a dating website is incredibly wrong. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:31:46 PM | Do you think many people here are going to pat your hand and say, "There, there..." Are you seeking pity? Are you seeking confirmation that you're doing the right thing? You won't get it from me.
Show him the site and your posts. Ask him how he feels about you, a married woman, looking for a man and claiming you're a single mum. You're hardly being truthful in this mess.
His side of the story would be nice. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:33:25 PM | You need to stand up for yourself and tell him either he changes the way he treats you or you will take your child and leave. Does he hit you? If he does call the police.Show him that you're not going to take his behavior anymore by being the biggest bi*ch he has ever seen when he disrespects you. We can't help and you know what to do, you can only help yourself.
You're not exactly being Miss perfect saying you're single on a dating site and talking about first kisses in the first date section. I would be pissed if I was married and my wife was on here. Just something to think about. I hope that you stand up to him. GL | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:38:56 PM | | life is to short to dance with ugly people,you must becareful that this don't evolve into violence. its your husband who does not feel he can keep you interested and there for he keeps you away from friends and family so they can't give you advice as what you might do. you were not put on this earth to be a slave to anyone,if you want to keep this marriage intact then see some one you trust for good advice,there must be some organization geared in this direction if not then grab your child and seek help from family or police if needed. don't be blue and sad for the childs sake,this will show up later in the years on the child. take care of yourself and your baby now. he may come around if you give him a ultamatum,if he don't then its a good chance he owns you not love you. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:39:38 PM |
How do you deal with a controlling husband?
I guess you answered your own question, by putting your profile on a dating site, saying you're looking for a relationship, even though you're still with your husband. That will do it. (NOT). If you think he's bad now, how will he be when he sees this? Or are you looking to give him a reason to leave? If you think cheating will make him leave, he might take the child with him and claim you're an unfit mother who is dating and sleeping around while married. And he would have a good case. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:41:25 PM | I don't know what the answer is, but I'm fairly certain creating a profile on a dating site while you're still married isn't it.
Don't want to cheat? Too late. You already are cheating by making yourself available on a dating site. You also represent yourself as "single". A lie and willingness to cheat on your husband is not a good way to find a "decent person". And if you're willing to cheat on your husband, why would any decent person take an interest in you?
Whatever your problems with your husband are, resolve them, one way or another, before making yourself available to be involved with someone else. Get into counseling, either with or without him to see if your marriage is salavagable, or divorce him. And take your profile down until you are truly available. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:06:49 PM | Call your local Womens shelter, they've got ton of references and hopefully a free therapist to help you. Living with him is not good for your daughter, it's teaching her to grow up and be abused just like you.
I get that being on this site is a fantasy for you, just seeing what's out there for a reality check. Of all people you deserve to take a look....have at it, do what you need, see what you need, but beware there's lot of players here, acting like nice guys. Good luck, hope you bail from him soon. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:11:29 PM |
Coming on here and finding someone else isn't the answer, you're going to have to leave on your own. If he's not physically abusive, then you should just end things, and get a separation. If you're not happy it's not going to be good for your child so it won't be worth it to keep the family together.
Sounded so nice she posted it twice!
I agree. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:26:35 PM | WOW, lol,
I can hardly be with my family because he doesnt want me around them ....
Do you want to be around them...?
For one you did not even mention he was abusive, that you just get in "trouble" for "everything",lol...Do not use the word everything,lol...
I am going to assume your husband likes things a certain way, and you do things a certain way...So instead of communicating, and trying to work things out one way or another , you choose to just make your own decision to leave him, especially with children....
You do not want to cheat,lol, how nice of you, obviously your thinking about it... | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:26:40 PM | Get out immediately! See a counselor. You are being a bad role model for your child by staying with a controlling, abusive man. This atmosphere is very bad for both you and your child.
I understand because I've been there. You have my support. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:29:04 PM | I do not think it is him, as in the hubby that is the problem...
How old is the child?
Any difficulties during the pregnancy, after?
Have the hormones gone back to somewhat normal or are they still out of whack?
From what you are presenting here, and further in your profile , it would suggest that they are still out of whack.
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:49:50 PM |
Get out immediately! See a counselor. You are being a bad role model for your child by staying with a controlling, abusive man. This atmosphere is very bad for both you and your child.
I understand because I've been there. You have my support.
And you know this for a fact that he is actually this way how?
Because she eluded to it by using some generic innuendo's?
How do you know for a fact that she is not twisting things around and projecting shame onto him in a diversion attempt? | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:53:40 PM | Caring Heart?
So... you are looking for a Rescuer. Some guy that will promise you s hit, and help you out of this mess, until he starts to feel his needs are not met, and demands what your current, soon to be ex used to do.
Stop.
Sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. Perhaps physical, but mainly emotional. Realize that you are also part of the equation. Yes, hun, you are. The guy you are with may be an a ss h ole. But as playing victim you also add to the equation. There are no innocent bystanders.
My advice is two fold. One, right now you do not need another d ick in your live. You need clarity. Go to a therapist. Yes, there's nothing wrong with that. Then decide. Leave him. Stay and work with him. Don't start, by trying to be rescued this way. First of all, you will find nothing but the same. And you are using victim scripts. You want to be saved by some guy. The guy in shinning armor. That never happens. The only one that can save you is YOU. Find clarity, find a way out. Clean. Honest. And what that means is that 10 years from now you can look at this moment and feel that you did the right thing. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 9:12:34 PM | Girlfriend!!! You do not need to be looking for another husband for sure. Sounds like you need to look in the mirror. Just by you being on a singles sight gives me reason to think he might have good reason to question your every move.
I recently divorced a control freak after 12 years and I can tell you there are always two sides to every story what is his? Most the time when people are insisting they have not cheated they have and you are looking for mr right. There is no mr or mrs right. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:06:11 PM | | Why would you want your child around a man who treats you like shit and has control issues? Why would you think that's a father figure for her? Why do you allow your child to live with an abusive man in the house? | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:22:28 PM | I wont pass judgement on you, but if your husband is treating you the way you say he is, then you need to lay it all out on the table for him and demand a discussion. If he is physically violent toward you, you need to leave immeadiately.
If its all just verbal, and snotty actions, then you should find out why he's acting this way.
Im a firm believer in trying to save a marriage if its at all possible. If you have exhausted every reasonable avenue to try to reconcile, and he still wont cooperate, then get out ASAP before things escalate into violence.
Good luck. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:26:31 PM | | I'm always skeptical on these subjects, although more details would help. Nobody can really know the truth even if they hear both sides of the story, they'll need to actually observe the interactions, and it's almost always two sided. But giving you the benefit of doubt, I'd say draw some firm lines on what is acceptable behavior from him towards you, and literally standing up to him and getting right in his face. Don't ever be afraid, unless you're in real physical harm, but that's a whole other subject. Just don't be afraid. Even before that, observe what might have caused this behavior to develop, and then go from there. That's all I can say for now. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:42:37 PM | | because its not a man trolling POF for women. its a married woman trolling POF looking for men....i mean someone to rescue her from her abusive and controlling husband. | |
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| controlling husband! please help need out
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:45:18 PM | /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
(ModelAviationJunkie post)
Exactly.
If the roles where reversed and a guy wrote this same stuff as the OP did, I wonder if the thread would have been deleted.
I suspect that the guy would have been torn to shreds. | |
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