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 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 1
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?Page 1 of 1    
I've been here for a few months now. I've written hundreds of messages and expressed interests in many women. But I end up only getting two or three replies a MONTH. And they are always from women who are more overweight than I am. Is weight really that big of an issue for skinny and average sized girls?
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2
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Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:39:39 AM
Is weight really that big of an issue for skinny and average sized girls?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ummm, yeah... whats wrong with dating a overweight female if your overweight youself?
 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 3
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:41:43 AM
I'm not that overweight. I'm also ex-military, so I'm still fairly in shape and take care of myself. I put on a few pounds over the last couple of years because I was dealing with a lot of bs. And I have a strong desire to get myself fully back in shape again and have made steps towards doing so.

But a woman, who is as bad or far worse than I am, and is okay with themselves being like that, is not okay with me.
 jennifer-t
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 4
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:43:32 AM
I can't speak for all women, but for me it is. I don't want someone super skinny, but I don't want to see a beer belly either. The same stands for the gym junkies. That does nothing for me and actually looks quite abnormal, in my opinion. I like the average/athletic type. But as a previous poster stated, I don't see how you could have an opinion on weight if you are overweight yourself.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 5
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Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:44:18 AM

And they are always from women who are more overweight than I am.


I can't believe that you said that.... well, yeah, I guess I can. Lose some weight, will ya? Maybe, after 50 pounds, you can whine.

Why would the "lighter" or "heavier" weight woman want you after that remark?
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 6
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Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:45:01 AM
Come on you have to know the answer. Gals reply to guys they find ATTRACTIVE. Weight is very important unless they are your size and then they still have to think you are cute.

Besides that you have several huge deal killers in your profile.

You are about to move to LA from CA and you are going to be a truck driver. Not tons of women want in on that deal.

Get settled into your new home and try again.

But women reply to guys they find attractive with interesting profiles. Your pretty much striking out currently.


Is weight really that big of an issue for skinny and average sized girls?
If weight was not important then why are you messaging the skinny and average gals? A few lbs over should be 10 or 15 lbs. Is that all you think you are really overweight? I think your best shot honestly is to message women your own size pretty much.

Cowboy
 MsGirlyMuscle
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 7
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:47:11 AM
Which photo is recent ( I can tell so do not lie ) ? They all are different in weight. And yes, weight matters. You may not think you are that overweight...but if I personally had to guess from a couple of those photos?

And what does being Ex Military have to do with it? If anything you should be in fierce shape ! You are not near thin or average and without a body shot I am iffy even on a few extra... so start being realistic ! All these Ex military, cops and firemen on here. I would not call 911 in certain cities !!!

All these men on here and some women who seriously need a reality check at body type on here. See this is why first meets alone go really sour !!!!!! And do not whine, some of us can really tell the whole who is what thing. It is always ALWAYS bigger in person too. Some of us are NOT new to this.

This is why I SHOW my body. So when Zena shows up for tea, no one freaks out. And for the women e mailing you??? Be glad you are even getting e mail. Some guys on here do not even get that. Are they really THAT over weight???? I can tell from that white t shirt one...that is NOT a few extra !!!!

You have a lot going for you career wise. Lose the weight. You know what it is like to be in shape, your older photos clearly show it. We all go through * bs * just get back on track.

Why .....why.....why.....you know people if you are planning on meeting someone face to face, deal with reality. Please. Thanks.

I would have ten times more respect if someone is honest and lists their actual body type than to sit and say all nonsense. Delusional people. Ugh.


 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 8
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:48:38 AM
The one with me wearing the ball cap is the most recent one.
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:51:10 AM
But that one doesn't have a body shot ... does it?

I'm sorry but men like you are a dime a dozen.
Always looking for the best thing in the candy store while they themselves can barely get through the door jam.

Yea ... you keep looking for Barbie.
Maybe one day you'll figure out that it's not the outside of the person that truly matters,
But the inside.

And your inside is severely lacking.
 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 10
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:52:20 AM
I am currently living alone and most of my friends have moved back east. Don't really have anyone out here to take pictures of me.
 AlchemistAdam88
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 11
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:54:34 AM
Yeah the weight thing is a factor. I been their myself. I've lost 50lbs within the last year and I'm putting on muscle now and getting more define...and have to say I noticed a difference with girls outside...just get more attention now, some approach me and I have more confidence in myself to approach them and chat em' up. The funny thing is my personality is the same..just my physical appearance is different. WEIRD right? lol...

Just work on yourself and don't take this site seriously at all. Since you're ex-military and have done training your muscle memory will kick in and it wouldn't take as long as it would take someone who has no muscle definition to develop gains. Just get your diet in check that's one of the MAIN things to focus on, and build a good workout routine and change it up every month. You'll shred the pounds very quickly.

Good luck, and again don't take the site seriously...just leave it as an open option that when you're not out and about perhaps some cool person would message you. It happens :)
 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 12
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:54:51 AM
And in reply to Cowboy, weight is important, but at the same time it isn't. It doesn't matter as much to me, but any girl I meet and get serious with will eventually have to meet my family. And my parents hold people to very high standards. If those standards aren't met, then it's a deal breaker.
 jennifer-t
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 13
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:58:45 AM
Well, if you let your family dictate to you what is acceptable and what is not then you're not worthy of their love in the first place. I'll give it to you, you've got some nerve. First, you're overweight but want a Barbie, then they must meet your family's approval to be approved by you as well. Grow the eff up, grow a set and then try the dating game again.
 SuedN1
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 14
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 9:59:13 AM
Great posting, Cowboy.

I am amazed at the men and women who honestly are very large that insist upon strict appearance standards for their potential dates. It seems insincere. BE in yourself what you want in someone else. Seems fair. If you're a short guy (something you cannot help) be willing to accept a tall woman (she can't help it either). If you are offering another person you as a little bit heavy, be willing to accept THEM being the same. That, at least, is fair.

I personally do not have any 'size' requirements---and in fact, I prefer large men--not because I am large but just because that is what is attractive to me. Of course physical attraction is important, but at some point in our lives, we become more concerned about whats in a persons heart and not whats on the outside. And, for women, I think attraction is based on so much more than perfect teeth and big muscles. A man in a work uniform chasing his daughter at the park on a sunny day will turn my head way quicker than the guy in a three piece suit in a sports car. Besides, it is easier to adjust the outside if one chooses than it is to change the inside........ If a person is of a size where they can hold down a job, support themselves , take care of themselves , etc...then the "other" things, to me, are way more important. I think we are, as a whole, missing out on some amazing people because we judge them way too quickly.

Just my thoughts.......
 CawkBlawker
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 15
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Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:00:28 AM

I've been here for a few months now. I've written hundreds of messages and expressed interests in many women. But I end up only getting two or three replies a MONTH. And they are always from women who are more overweight than I am. Is weight really that big of an issue for skinny and average sized girls?

Oh irony has a name!!!! The jokes write themselves.

Anynothonestaboutthisownweight, OP I guess weight does matter to the women you write because they are not writing YOU back. Monkey see, monkey do OP. Be thankful anyone of any weight writes you. Standards...they aren't just double anymore.
 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 16
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:05:37 AM
I'm at a loss for words and I feel like an ***hole. Which I should.....

....Thanks to everyone for their comments and criticism. I will take it to heart and try to apply it as best as possible.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 17
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:06:34 AM
Lots of overweight men date successfully... I don't think that's as much of an issue as your employment status. You seem a bit in limbo at the moment. Women like security... not someone trying to figure stuff out.

I suggest you complete your plan of moving and getting that job, then try again.
 redbirdchick77
Joined: 7/26/2012
Msg: 18
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:08:50 AM
No, weight doesn't really matter that much to ADULTS that don't have to have mommy and daddy approve of who they date! And as a side note, most adults can accept if they are overweight or not and not have to make all kinds of excuses about it. I'd say you are lucky to have ANY women reply to your emails with that attitude. And when they find out they have to meet your parents' high standards you will be begging the women who weigh more than you do to reply. I see lots of dealbreakers here and weight is not one of them!
 radicalrunner
Joined: 7/17/2012
Msg: 19
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:09:19 AM
Obviously its an issue for you..seems like kind of hypocritical you can't handle a woman with some extra weight but you expect a small woman to except your wt.
I get it we are attracted to whom we are attracted to...well I was attracted to fit to average to slightly overwt men..but I was almost 400lbs..I wasn't shocked they weren't too interested back..SO I changed for my own health obviously but now I'm not so out of their league..I can keep up, I am average wt, and so I feel confident about my body now. I can look for an equal.
If you want a thin girl..go to the gym and get in shape. you might meet one while your at it.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 20
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Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:11:53 AM

I'm not that overweight.

Oh?

I'm also ex-military,

My ex is currently serving... he's carrying about 30-40 more pounds than he weighed when he enlisted.

so I'm still fairly in shape and take care of myself.

Uhhuh. In shape according to???

I put on a few pounds over the last couple of years because I was dealing with a lot of bs.

Stress and life will do that to everyone.

And I have a strong desire to get myself fully back in shape again and have made steps towards doing so.

Good for you.

That will be difficult doing longhaul trucking. All the ones I know personally have horrible eating habits and are all overweight. The ones that were skinny when I knew them were all skinny due to drug useage. Probably not a good thing when you're behind the wheel of a tractor trailer.


But a woman, who is as bad or far worse than I am, and is okay with themselves being like that, is not okay with me.

I'm ok with myself. I'd also be ok with working towards a goal with someone. I'm currently doing about 5 hours of fitness classes a week, plus 2-5 hours of bike riding (as much as 60 km/wk). After a year of training with someone and working with a nutritionist and a doctor.. I ended up gaining 15lbs, not losing any. So yes.. I'm ok with myself.

There are a lot of men that expect women to accept them in an overweight condition while they expect the woman to be model thin. It's ok not to be attracted to someone's outside, that's your choice. You can't complain about being contacted by people you aren't attracted to. A simple "thanks, no thanks" response and carry on. They obviously see something of interest in you.
 silvershot1
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 21
Does Weight Really Matter That Much?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:13:20 AM
Thanks for everyone's replies.
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