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 Gorgeouscomedy
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 1
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How long after a first date will he call/text?Page 1 of 1    
I went on a first date last night that went great [or at least I thought so!]. We have lots in common and talked for hours. The date ended with a nice hug, but no mention/offer of a second date from him. How long do you think it will it take him to get in touch IF he is interested in going out again? Is there a window of time [24 hrs? 48 hrs?] after which I should just assume he's not interested? I've been told I shouldn't text/call a guy after a first date because 1) it looks "desperate" and 2) if he's interested, he'll get in touch with ME, and I need to let him be a man and initiate contact.

Any feedback is appreciated. :)
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:05:03 AM
There is no set clock to watch.

Some may feel they need to wait 1 to 3 days to not seem like a stalker...

If a month goes by you can figure he's not going to call.

Anything in between is debatable.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 3
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:07:14 AM
Why don't you call him?

Forget the silly rules.
It does not look desperate.

Phoning or texting him 20 times is bad.

One call to say I really enjoyed meeting you and asking him out is fine.

Choose something you both enjoy and you discussed during your date.

There are no rules in love.
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 4
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:22:27 AM
I would call/text someone that same night and the next day if I was interested. He might be playing the same game you are "I should wait to call her for 4 days just so I don't come off as desperate" That's BS. Don't listen to your friends if you're interested pick up the phone. The sooner you set up a second date the sooner you will know for sure whether or not he's interested.
 3ffervescent
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 5
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:34:40 AM
So where in your dating rules do manners fit?

I always send a text to say
Thanks again, I had a great time...

He is probably just as nervous about seeming too eager.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 6
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 4:52:36 AM
For the two posters above me..WELL SAID!!!
We weren't there to tell how the first meeting was.
Some guy, me makes plan for the second date WHILE on the first one, if I am interested.
He could be shy, tell us how was he during a date?
Looking desperate? Yes, maybe, or he can say Oh cool she did like me.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 7
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 5:26:06 AM
There is no set time period. Heck I text on my drive home to say I had a good time and cant wait to see her again.

Some guys play weird games afraid to contact till at least 3 days due to some supposed goofy dating "rule".

I say dont play games. Dont let the stand off get stupid. Just send him a simple text right now telling him Thanks and that you had a great time. Hope to see him again soon.

No reason to wonder what someone is thinking, I am all for NO MORE DATING MIND GAMES. If you had a nice time for gawd sakes just say so

Cowboy
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 8
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 6:06:10 AM
Guys, especially the ones that use online dating, are probably just as nervous as you. There is no correct time for him to get back in touch with you. If he is smart, he should be thinking about whether he wants to make the next move. If he is anxious, he will probably contact you as soon as possible. On your end, you should be thinking about whether you want to proceed as well, things are always rosy in the beginning. As far as whether you should contact him again, you should do what you WANT to do and not worry about protocols. There is no rule that says you can't contact him again. Worst case, you don't end up with him, but that is not the end of the world and, in some cases, might be the best thing.

So, think about it, really.
 jennifer-t
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 9
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 6:18:06 AM

There is no set time period. Heck I text on my drive home to say I had a good time and cant wait to see her again.


What he said.

This is usually how it happens (at least in my experience) and it's a straight sign that you've made a great impression.
 badboy_transformed
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 10
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 7:20:39 AM

Is there a window of time [24 hrs? 48 hrs?]


I think its 26 hours 13 minutes and 12 seconds....before that he is a pysco and desperate...after that he is just playing games and really doesnt like you...

If you like him, call him, text him, email him, send a telegram, whatever you do.

if he likes you he will respond, if not, then I guess you have your answer....
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 11
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 7:30:34 AM
I don't like calling the day after, but I explicitly state when I will call so there is no mystery, and the woman can go on with her life instead of waiting around her phone lol. For example, Sunday night meeting, so I tell my date I will call her Tuesday morning. If she insists on me calling her anytime on Monday, that is cool with me, and I happily oblige.
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 12
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 7:36:51 AM

2) if he's interested, he'll get in touch with ME, and I need to let him be a man and initiate contact.

Sad that so many women think like this. I'll let you in on a secret... most men like it when a girl shows interest in them. This whole, "he's the man, he should chase me" mentality is just a way for women to avoid putting themselves in a situation where they can be rejected. If you like someone, say so. It's not difficult. Also, if your date went great, I don't think it would have just ended with a hug... especially if you talked for hours... at least if it were me I'd have gone with at least a goodnight kiss.
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 13
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 8:15:47 AM
read aussie ladys post -all stop being victim social conditioning/sheep. we all just human beings
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 14
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 8:35:06 AM
I agree with alot of these responses, come on ladies. You gotta give a little to get a little. I'll never understand the whole"the guy has to be the one showing interest" Why is it only our job??
 JennaJayne
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 15
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 8:44:29 AM
Chill. He will call. If he wants to see you again he will call. Don't stare at the phone. You can not "look" desperate unless you are desperate.
 MysticalWorld
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 16
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 9:01:15 AM
It’s fine if he hasn’t called yet. No games are being played. Sunday is usually spent with church, family, and getting ready for the work week.

Today is Monday. He’ll probably text you this evening. BUT … don’t get caught up texting. Your time should be valued more than a text sent to you in between his TV commercials. After the first text, reply back to him: “Good to hear from you. Let’s chat. Call me when you’re free.” Now is the time to establish your worth and teach him how to treat you.

Best,
 Gorgeouscomedy
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 17
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 9:07:15 AM
Thanks for all the helpful points of view. Even the dating "experts" [matchmakers, etc.] are split on the whole "contact him vs. let him contact him you" thing.

Ughh . . . dating. Why does it feel so complicated . . .
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 18
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 9:15:34 AM

Ughh . . . dating. Why does it feel so complicated . .
:D

It's only as complicated as we make it. Just be genuine. If you are interested in seeing him again let him know. I understand that no one likes the risk of rejection but it is a part of life. Remember, closed mouths don't get fed If you're really afraid of hearing no just send him a text thanking him for the great time. That will show him you're interested and let him do the "chasing".
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 19
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How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 9:46:10 AM
I agree with those who suggest you send a text thanking him for a great time and stating how much you enjoyed meeting him.

As for whether you should ask him out, that depends on what you want the dynamic of the relationship to be. Because I wanted a man who would lead, I made it a habit not to do the asking out early in the relationship.
 BrianFromUSA
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 20
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 11:25:26 AM
"Is there a window of time [24 hrs? 48 hrs?] after which I should just assume he's not interested?"

No.

Some guys if they are very interested will message you back the very next day to tell you they had a great time. Some guys are worried that that will come off way to desperate. Some guys even go as far as playing games and going for the 3 day rule. Keep in mind that the 3 day rule is a commonly known rule and is used by guys because after a great date they might be so full of emotions and desperation to be with you that they need a rule to keep themselves sane. So there is no time frame when a guy will call you back. It might be 24 hours, it might be over 48 hours. And when he calls has NOTHING to do with how interested he is. (What matters is that he calls you back and acts interested from there.) Don't assume because it's been 48 hours he's not interested.

In general, don't read too much into what guys do. You can't measure interest based on the random and often meaningless behavior of men. The behavior could mean almost anything. It's just noise.

" I've been told I shouldn't text/call a guy after a first date because 1) it looks "desperate" and 2) if he's interested, he'll get in touch with ME, and I need to let him be a man and initiate contact."

If he is interested he will call you. But if you are interested and he hasn't called you in a few days, why not call him? I LOVE it when women call me first. I don't regard it as desperate at all. I think it shows they are interested in me (YES!) and beyond that it means they wanted to call, nothing more. Unlike you I don't try to read into the random dating behaviors of people. If you want to call him, call.
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 21
How long after a first date will he call/text?
Posted: 8/20/2012 12:07:12 PM
I would say if you don't hear anything within 1-3 days then he's not that interested. If a guy took longer than 3 days to ask me out again I would probably ignore him (unless he had a very good reason, such as being in the hospital).
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