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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?      Home login  
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 SmilingCherub
Joined: 12/9/2011
Msg: 1
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?Page 1 of 1    
I have been on and off pof for a while now. For me, I am on here to meet someone and build a relationship, I have been honest with the men that I've met, I have no desire to sugar coat anything about myself, nor do I have the desire to lie. So, why is it that guys seem to tell me what it is that I want to hear, and then turn around and lie, or stop returning phone calls for reasons unknown, or continue to search for women on pof, or.... the list is endless. Why? It's cowardly and it has made me very discouraged.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/28/2012 9:55:56 PM
Sex?




Oh, do you mean why do some do the standard hit and run, after they say everything they *think* you want to hear?
Because it works for their goal of a new conquest? And you chose them, out of the 45 that were lined up emailing you. What criteria did you use to choose?
 DiveBomber
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 4
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/28/2012 10:52:19 PM
Earlier, I was looking for my 9/16" ratchet wrench. Found it. Then I was looking for the can of copper adhesive spray....still looking for it, I may have to rummage thru some boxes & stuff, but I know I have it!!

Oh, you want to know about men??.....who knows what they are looking for in a woman, everyones different.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 5
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/28/2012 11:11:39 PM
Ya Tall already alluded to the solution. You need to figure out what YOU'RE looking for first. These are men YOU picked from amongst dozens.

Too bad because you have a really nice profile too. Hope things turn around for ya.
 billingsmason
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 6
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/28/2012 11:14:16 PM
A woman to fall head over heels in love with.....

Specifically?? smart, pretty, healthy, active, witty, honest, adventurous, ..... 5'9'', 137lbs, brunette, green eyes, ....

uhhhhh - how about just a woman who likes me for who I am and what I do, and who can be herself because she's okay with who she is..?

P.s.( the ability to deal with knuckleheads is also recommended)



Don't be too sad OP- think your situ is kinda "normal" here... sadly enough.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 7
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/28/2012 11:15:55 PM
OP if we all individually gave you a list of what we were looking for would it really help you to figure out what your prospective dates we are looking for?

We could offer up some generalizations such as

Sex, food beer and a good nights sleep... not necessarily in that order.

But in reality you are going to have to sort the wheat from the chaff yourself and find out on your own what those particular men want.

If you think it's hard to figure out what men really want maybe you should try women for awhile.









 sactowndude
Joined: 8/21/2012
Msg: 8
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/28/2012 11:42:35 PM
The same reason women do it to us men: somebody else came along, lost interest, you are too busy, etc. Maybe you should set the bar higher on the type of men you meet.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 9
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Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 4:27:13 AM
The reason why most people lie, is because they think they can get what they want that way. That includes both the straight up players, AND the earnest folks who genuinely think that "lying doesn't count as lying, if you are doing it to get someone who SHOULD care about you, to take a closer look."

But I think the most common reason why primarily honest people lie to you while trying to build a relationship, is that lied to themselves, first.

It's very common for people, usually because of lust/loneliness, to tell themselves that you are a good prospect for them to genuinely fall in love with. They wont realize that they are really just "in lust," until after that lust is sated. Hence, they will give the appearance of being liars who were only after a roll in the hay, but they are actually an entirely different kind of fool.

That doesn't mean that you should thank them for wasting your time, but it should allow you to reduce how much stomach acid you put through your own system about them, and should help you avoid attacking the next guy who comes along and expresses the same desires, as though he's a lying scumbag as well.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 4:35:08 AM
You're just venting, OP. Not all men are like this. If this keeps happening to you, work on figuring out why you keep falling for the same lies. Learn to pick better men.
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 11
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 4:43:46 AM
I'm looking for someone who responds on here , someone who contacts me sometimes at least. We don't want to do all the work and really shouldn't have to even though girls think we should.

As for why you're finding the guys you have it's because maybe he's just like you - frustrated by the whole online experience. Frustrated to the point he decided to just tell girls what they want to hear.
 Oncetwice57
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 12
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 4:56:43 AM
At 35 you as I know at 55 that there are game players everywhere.....woman are as bad as men and some just dont have any life cept to sit at a computer all day....weed-em out....patience will get you everywhere....easy to talk crap and as you say cowardly but its the way of the world....work in a prison and know what cheap talk gets you!.....good luck with your search!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 13
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Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 5:21:01 AM
As I see it, your profile a bit negative and will draw the ones who want to play games, your also
too open about things...
to men you do not know. Better to use a soft touch and just blow them off when they show signs
they are not for you.

You need a profile review for starrters
and then you need to approach this all a little different if you intend to meet someone using a dating sites.

To me, your profile screams "come on" to all the ones who are exactly who you are NOT looking for
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 14
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 8:19:19 AM
i could tell you the secrets of men but be kicked out lose my man card lol. they tellin you what you wanthear because they want to get inside your knickers at 35 i thought you be a bit more savvy. women say they want nice guys(we are out there) but we get lied to/discouraged(i put violin down lol some us wolves not sheep though).put your profile on profile review -you maybe shocked/enlightened
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 15
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Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 8:34:00 AM
the commonest game template goes like this:
* women underplay their interest.
* men overplay their interest.

consider that the more invested someone is in the inauthenticity of the game, the less ability they have to recognize inauthenticity in others.

a common mistake women make is objectifying men and relationships as sources of emotional satisfaction. they are impatient and they don't know what trust, the foundation of intimacy, looks like. they rush to bond with men they barely know. they feed players opportunities by seeking out unenforcible promises to stake their fantasy futures on, rather than a track record of actions, then wail about how they were victimized when it all comes crashing down. they become jaded, suspicious and damaged to the point that quality men want nothing to do with them, but the dirtbags will still be hanging around.

is there any of you in all of this, op?
 Rorschachs_journal86
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 16
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Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 8:46:15 AM
My ideal woman would be this...

5'0 - 5'3
115-130 lbs
Very modest looking with a cute smile
Has a sincere personality, doesn't judge to much, and is sweet

For me that seem's way too much to ask for

Now here is what reality tells me what I would get

A woman 5'4-5'7
180-300 lbs
Bad smoker's teeth
has her hair up in a bun
Has a poor attitude . She has a simple and one dimensional personality
Her interests include reality TV, her five cats that she dresses up and talks to as if they were humans
 ~Scoundrel~
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 17
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 1:04:20 PM
As for myself, I'm simply looking for sex. My life is otherwise complete. There is nothing a woman could do that would add to the quality of my life other than having sex with me. Moreover, women often bring with them an element of chaos and I'd prefer to keep that at a distance. And, sense I'm looking only for sex, a woman's most important attribute is her looks.

I don't want to snuggle up and watch Sandra Bullock movies. I don't want to take long walks on the beach. In fact, I really prefer if you didn't talk at all.

After reading this I'm sure you think I'm a jerk. But, I can tell you that I'm not the only man that feels this way. I'm just one of the few with the guts to say it.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 18
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 1:19:50 PM
^^^^^ there you go OP a brutally honest response or at least one that looks like it might be. Does that make you feel any better about what some men might be looking for.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 19
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 2:31:44 PM
personally, I am looking for a 21 year old, super model, liquor store owning nymphomaniac.
 AUC_MMDCCV
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 20
Gentlemen, please tell me what it is that you are looking for?
Posted: 8/29/2012 5:58:54 PM

As for myself, I'm simply looking for sex. My life is otherwise complete. There is nothing a woman could do that would add to the quality of my life other than having sex with me. Moreover, women often bring with them an element of chaos and I'd prefer to keep that at a distance. And, sense I'm looking only for sex, a woman's most important attribute is her looks.

I don't want to snuggle up and watch Sandra Bullock movies. I don't want to take long walks on the beach. In fact, I really prefer if you didn't talk at all.

After reading this I'm sure you think I'm a jerk. But, I can tell you that I'm not the only man that feels this way. I'm just one of the few with the guts to say it.


Good honest answer. I applaud you!

I get tired of reading the want....want....want....emotional pleas.

"My white knight."
"Someone to rescue me."
"Someone to protect me."
"Someone to make me laugh."
"A real man." (Whatever the blazes that is!)
"Looking for honesty."
("Are you honest, good sir?"...."Of course I am, and that's no lie!")
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