Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Calling me another woman's name...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 2012BolderBabe
Joined: 11/10/2010
Msg: 1
Calling me another woman's name...Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
A male POFer and I chatted for three months over the phone. In month four, he called me another woman's name not once but about eight times. Once, three times in a fifteen minute span. I say that there's someone else that he's chatting with who has his attention. He says that since my name is similar to three other lady friends, he mistakingly blurted their names when he talked fast. My name is Cat. Theirs is Kate. Now he says that I'm a jealous person because I can't understand how he could call me by another woman's name. Does anyone have an opinion???
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 2
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:15:05 PM
I wouldn't have continued talking to him by the second time it happened.
 Maybe_Have_Some_Faith
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 3
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:24:54 PM
8 times? Damn I wish you lived closer. I'd love to meet a woman as patient as you and I'm an excellent name rememberer Kate.

oops Cat.

Kate isn't all that common a name and for him to have three friends with it isn't likely. Have you considered next time you talk with him that you call him a different name by mistake. I suggest asshole.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 4
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:41:36 PM
At least he uses your name...er, her name. Most players just call all their girlfriends honey or sweetheart so they do not have to keep names straight.

I suspect he is probably seeing someone named Kate or wishes he was. Why go stalker babe when you could just say, "You have a friend named Kate? I would love to meet her. We must have a lot in common for you for you to keep confusing us as often as you do and it would be great to meet some of your friends. How does Tuesday night, dinner for three at my house sound? If you give me her number, I'll call to invite her."

My guess is the look of horror on his face will tell you all you need to know.
 2012BolderBabe
Joined: 11/10/2010
Msg: 5
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:45:08 PM
If I was still talking to him, I would definitely use your suggestion! Thanks!!
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 6
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:31:19 AM
my boss calls me "marlene" (his wife's name) occasionally. i am sure he calls the poor woman "lyn" from time to time. those names sound nothing alike. it's just him getting a wild hair and going automatic on us. funny as hell. i will have to ask her about that the next time i talk to her. BUT he has never called me "marlene" three times in 15 minutes. (i don't mind pissing him off because i can't help it, really, but *that* would be a bit much. i hear "marlene" and know it's time to ease up a little, heh heh).

people WILL "go automatic" in certain situations and forget what they were supposed to say -- emotional excitement or, in your case, i would take it as a sign of being so drunk [or possibly drunk & excited] that he couldn't remember which gal.... crossed wires. month *four*?? wow. you were on the back burner. in the winnebago.

well at least he was "on the phone" and not on top of you. some consolation in that.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:35:13 AM
This is exactly (true story) I married twice and both gals had the identical first and middle names and they both went by their middle names. (Hard to phuck up and murmer the wrong name in the heat of passion - lol)

Now if that isnt freaky! I bet the IRS is still scratching their heads on that one. Now I get scared to death if a gal on here tells me her name and its either one of my ex's first or middle names. Two is enough for me I wish I had learned after the first one (long sigh...) I must of been a masochist.

Cowboy
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 4:10:17 AM
I have done that for no reason. I think though he has a problem keeping his women straight. You are correct in being upset.
 kharmakemeleon
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 4:31:35 AM
Perhaps if you had met by Month Two he could've put your name with your face and this wouldn't have happened.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 4:31:48 AM
My opinion is, that both you and he are right, OP. He is not attentive enough to your name, to match up with your sensibilities, and you are too jealous about such details for him.

Eight times in a month, getting it wrong between Kate and Cat, during a "chat" (you don't say if this chat is live or not) isn't impressive to me one way or the other, especially in the age range above thirty. Three times in one fifteen minute span? If he did that after you corrected him on the first one, I would lean to your side of the issue. But if you failed to correct him, and just counted his mistakes, it might be a bit off of you.

Another consideration: if these were text chats, he could be texting on a cell phone with type-ahead software. That would cause the damn phone itself to use the wrong name over and over, unless he took excruciating amounts of extra time to correct it with every single letter he typed. I know, because I have that kind of phone, and I gave up a long time ago trying to get it to behave rationally. If he typed Kat instead of Cat, the phone would be BOUND to add the E.

But since you are already both in distrust mode, I think this "milk" is already too sour to keep drinking it.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 11
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 5:47:55 AM
My name is Jeannie, I once met & dated a man who had previously dated a Jennie for only a coupe of months...at the beginning he kept calling me by her name on the phone.
Once we met, he got it straight.
BUT he had such a history, I later found out.
He called me & 1,001 other women "cupcake".
I hope his teeth are rotted by now from eating too many cupcakes ;0P

I want a man who is not too slow, but not too fast...and will SAY MY NAME!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 6:06:12 AM
I'm just curious as to why you would put that much concern into someone you haven't even met?!!
3 to 4 months of phone conversation and not meeting just reeks of issues to me!
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 13
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 7:11:56 AM

Does anyone have an opinion???


Yes. Im with MsMicki here in wondering why on earth you've wasted FOUR MONTHS talking to this guy on the phone.........................?????
You shouldn't be stressing about what he calls you but rather he's not chomping at the bit to MEET you!
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 14
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 7:21:45 AM
Lots of people chatting with lots of people on these sites. If you don't meet them in person, it's easy to make that mistake. I usually can't remember someone's name until I see them in person. But if you haven't met this guy in 4 months of chatting on the phone, it doesn't seem either one of you is interested enough so the wrong name thing really shouldn't matter.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 7:59:21 AM
I wouldn't have continued talking to him by the second time it happened.


I know women online really, REALLY feel that burning need to feel 'exclusive' from message #1 on, and that any guy that treats them like another number is automatically dumpster liner.

The truth is, online conversations are going on constantly - chatting with multiple people, texting a few, phone calling others. There IS no exclusivity when it comes to online interactions, because there is NO motivation to do that when the person on the other line can click the mouse and dismiss you out of their life instantly.

Meeting in-real-life is the great lie-breaker, and always will be. I cannot fathom why someone would still be chatting online for that many months. You're not anywhere near a dating relationship - you're online 'pen-pals' and that's about it.

As far as remembering names, I can tell you it's NOT as easy as people think it is. Once again, ladies assume they're the only 'important' one in their lives, and WANT it to be so, sometimes desperately. I lost over 50% of my friends and over 50% of my family in my divorce, so making new friends from basically scratch has been a tough time, on top of which I am absolutely miserable at remembering ANYbody's names. I have made a ton of new friends, and several of them are single women - but I'm not dating any of them. Keeping names straight is hopeless, so I stutter through introductions and have to apologize constantly and re-ask them what their names are.

One thing that helps immensely is meeting the person face-to-face, another thing that helps is Facebook, where you constantly see a picture with their name. One thing that doesn't is ladies that change their names - either legally or just for Facebook - and the ones that hyphenate two last names - just don't EVER ask me to remember both of them, it just ain't gonna happen.

The women that I actually manage to go out on real dates; and interact with them face-to-face - name remembering is a piece of cake - because they've made time to be IN my life. Ladies online haven't done a damn thing except sat at a keyboard for maybe an hour to chat or even less if they are texting on their cell phone. You want to be remembered? You've gotta be Memorable.
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 16
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 8:46:21 AM
I have had this happen as well. I have been called Jeannie, Jenna and everything but my name. I would never wait that many months to meet in person however, its easier to put a face with a name.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 17
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 8:56:28 AM
I would have disconnected the call after the first time. Idiots like him pull the jealousy card to shame you into silencing yourself, particularly where they've misbehaved.

My opinion is that you shouldn't speak to him anymore.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:48:41 AM
Are you kidding me? I have two men on my board of directors that I am in charge of and ones name is Art, and the other Al, and I have worked hard over the past year or two, but still call one the other far to often. The names are close, and when we are in discussions back and forth, it can just slip out.

There could be a logical reason for this and it does happen. I have had relationships with women that had similar names and said the others name out of past practice and it has nothing to do with who I am with or want to be with......it is all about repetition and past practice......Give this man a break!

May I suggest the you come up with a nickname to help this man, and then if he gets that wrong, you might want to either take him to a doctor about his memory, or to check his STD's....;)

cd
 L0thari0
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 19
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:58:47 AM
I have done this. I have called one woman the name of another. I wasn't cheating, but I had recently ended one relationship and started the other in a short time. I felt terrible about it, but simply couldn't stop for months. Luckily the new woman had a forgiving nature.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 10:02:50 AM

1388SmartBlonde

Why go stalker babe when you could just say, "You have a friend named Kate? I would love to meet her. We must have a lot in common for you for you to keep confusing us as often as you do and it would be great to meet some of your friends. How does Tuesday night, dinner for three at my house sound? If you give me her number, I'll call to invite her."

My guess is the look of horror on his face will tell you all you need to know.


“Look of horror”? You must be kidding. The man’s mind will immediately jump to “ménage a trios”. His poor little brain will be racing 90 miles an hour, thinking, “Damn, I’m halfway home, Cat’s willing and ready! Now how do I go about asking Kate?”
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 10:11:20 AM
If all you'd done was chat on the phone for four months, getting your name mixed up is the least of your problems.
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 22
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 11:08:17 AM
While you were talking on the phone he was getting blown,,,,lol.
 YAMACANMECRAZY
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 23
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 11:27:48 AM
Calling someone by another's name happens a lot to people like me. Usually I will call someone by my daughters or my sisters name. Not sure why it happens but it does ........ however I don't think it would happen 8 times in 15 minutes. My point is I wouldn't toss the guy out for that alone. And if you do he will come out the winner in that failed pairing.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 12:34:32 PM
I am dyslexic, so yes I have done this. I would to make it even worse when I was introducing. And it would always be calling my ex by my sister's name and my sister by my ex's name. Nothing Freudian about it. Just weird.
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 25
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 12:41:21 PM
Maybe it was the umm, umm, uh,, I forgot.......










alzheimers kicking in?
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Calling me another woman's name...