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 Mushrooman1
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 1
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Why is it in the majority of cases, men and women date partners that are not pleasing to the eye? Is it an insecurity thing or something evolutionary? Are our personalities more attractive than our looks in the long run?
 Dingsigheidje
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 2
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:16:44 PM
There is a stereotype of attractive that is put out by the media that some people genetically fall into, purely by chance. There are other types of attractive to other types of people... for instance, I personally don't find Brad Pitt "hot"... when he is acting, some of his "characters" maybe... but the media footage and photos of him, not as hot. Pheromones play a huge part in attraction though, and you can't see those :)
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 3
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:21:08 PM
It has been my experience that more often than not you see attractive women with rather average looking guys.
So the only truth to any stereotype is that women are attracted first and foremost to confidence.

Now, do attractive guys have it easier? If they are confident, they do. Same thing applies to the ugly guy that is super confident.
 Mushrooman1
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 4
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:26:01 PM
your right that's a fair point.. but generally speaking people do date unknowns.. physically, psychologically.. what rules..
 Stormwolf
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 5
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:27:28 PM

Why is it in the majority of cases, men and women date partners that are not pleasing to the eye?

You want a real answer? They are attracted to their bank account. Good example: If Donald Trump were the manager of a Burger King...the best he could do would be Roseann Barr or the Star of that movie "Precious."
 circle-circle
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 6
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:30:33 PM
must have some other quality..
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 7
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:35:28 PM
Maybe those people aren't as shallow as the majority of us? Who knows ... people like what they like. We all look for different things in a partner. Generally you're going to find very attractive women with not-so-attractive men who have a fat wallet and can afford the arm candy. For me personally, a great personality goes a long way. That doesn't necessarily mean I'd date someone only for their personality and no physical attraction. I think it just has to be the total package for you -- whatever that is.
 Dolphina
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 8
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:36:22 PM
There's more to a person than their looks. I personally do not rate good looks at the top of what I seek in another person. I'm far more interested in their intelligence, energy, education, personal style, taste in music, taste in books, health, interest in keeping healthy, etc. There are some very handsome men around, but they haven't got two brain cells to rub together. Good looks and all those other characteristics - now you're talking.
 Ffrin
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 9
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:38:14 PM
I had a quick look at your profile and was surprised to find that you are not as young as I thought. I assumed you were in your early twenties, partly from your picture (be flattered), but partly from the immaturity of your first question (try not to be too offended).

For starters, people date partners pleasing to their own eye, not yours - "in the majority of cases". To be more specific, there seems to be an idea floating around in these forums that the attractiveness of any individual can be graded from 1 - 10 - fair enough - but also that these gradings are objective and absolute. But they are subjective. Okay, we can probably agree in general on those at the extreme end of the scale. Within the scale it is not so clear. One person's 3 is another person's 7. A great deal of that depends on personality. If I like someone, they look more attractive to me than if I dislike them: and I don't believe I am alone in that.

To answer your last question, it depends ... you, for instance, may find slim blondes 'hot'. That doesn't mean that if you marry a slim blonde you will still find her hot 30 years later purely because she is still a slim blonde. You will only find her attractive 30 years later if your personalities are compatible. If they aren't, you may end up seeing her as ugly.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 10
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:44:58 PM
Odd coincidence with this question.

It is about the unknowns...my answer btw is coming from my perspective as person who has found relationships with both attractive men and those that leave some people scratching their heads a bit....moving on.

Today I'm making a right hand turn at intersection and need to pull up to allow a not too 'conventionally attractive' man cross in front of me, but he had my attention the minute he started walking across.

Why?

Because he was 'attractive' under a slightly too big slightly billowing trench coat, nerdy back pack falling off one shoulder the typical nerdy, nerdy and somewhat retro frames, and of all things a fedora and a little goatee (not my thing typically..).

I remember thinking at the time, that he struck me as the type that's not too self-aware. His style is likely a practical mix of what he likes and however that works, it works on any given day. Besides that instant flash of his dress, I found myself struck by his face. Kind of crabby and lean...not too fleshy, not too round. He just had a look about him that was kind of attractive....that's the kind of 'in' that some guys have, that makes girls give guys a look.

It's hard to 'template' something that would work across the board, because that's not how I generally feel about the guys I meet. I'm the type that likes the braniacs out there that have a jumbled set of 'attractive qualities to me'...for which the unkept appearance, and often an 'oblivious' to an attractive woman walking by, just adds a bit extra...(read: it flips a kind of switch).

 Mushrooman1
Joined: 8/31/2012
Msg: 11
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:47:53 PM
good comment about the question I stated oh and my looks / maturity lol. One man's pleasure is another man's poison I understand this, I just go on the averages and wonder why is this the case that's all...
 TwistedAir
Joined: 9/24/2012
Msg: 12
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 2:58:38 PM
Dating fugly can result in death:

Anna Nicole Smith married a 90 year old guy with plenty of money and I dont think it was for hot steamy sex. When the guy died she fought over the estate and lost.

Smith died on February 8, 2007 in a Hollywood, Florida hotel room as a result of an overdose of prescription drugs.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 13
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:16:36 PM
As long as you're not being chased by hordes of villagers with pitchforks and torches, or imprisoned in a church bell tower somewhere - you're pretty enough to be seen in public, and SOMEbody will find you attractive. It's up to you to stay healthy and be the best you can be, but who picks you is NEVER totally under your control. These oddball matchups between Beauties and Beasts should just give you MORE confidence a match is out there.

Hell, even Quasimodo got a kiss from Salma Hayek! Lucky **stard...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:33:51 PM
Can we get the guys who complain about having to be an Adonis to get anyone female to notice them in numerous posts to come read this thread? That might get them to understand looks aren't everything - and confidence might be more of a factor than they think.
 amohsin8
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 15
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:47:41 PM
Some attractive people don't realize they're good-looking and have low self-esteem, so their standards aren't that high. And some people aren't shallow like a lot of men and women.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 16
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:54:07 PM
OP, why do you ask? Do you routinely date women whom you consider not as good-looking as you or do you feel that good-looking women date you despite your appearance?

I have not seen a lot of "beautiful" people date ugly people. In fact, studies show that we tend to date people in our range of attractiveness:


There is an existing body of research, as the investigators note, that show that physically attractive people tend to date other physically attractive people. For reasons not entirely clear, we all tend to gravitate to our own level of attractiveness (as well as socio-economic class, race, and social circles). That’s why the beautiful people in Us Weekly and People all inter-date and marry. That’s also why rich people tend to marry other rich people (sorry to dash your hopes there!). Naturally, since our society places a great deal on a certain idea of physical attractiveness, such people are also more popular dates. And since beauty seems to be a universal constant no matter what the culture (based upon factors such as facial features and waist to hip ratios), it’s hard to get away from the influence of attractiveness in dating and mating.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/08/08/does-our-own-attractiveness-affect-our-dating-preferences/

Do you have anything other than personal experience to back up your "majority of cases"?
 sexysunfish68
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 17
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:57:41 PM
For women looks are not everything and an ugly guy with personality and money can get a hot woman.
What is ugly to you is not to others by the same token.

Looks dont last usually and you need more than that to have a successful relationship. But an ugly woman with a hot guy? Not common.

Your statement is rathe sweeping and I dont think it is true in the main. Some guys will settle for what they can get and if she puts out, then he will go along with her.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 18
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:05:47 PM
Some women lust after ugly guys. Makes the woman look prettier and more feminine. It can be hard hanging around with guys who are smoothly attractive. Generally women are more comfortable being the 'pretty one' in the couple.

Women keep this secret so when we choose YOU, you won't think we think you are UGLY. Actually we think you are the one who has the rugged good looks to stare us down on the bed when you block the daylights out of us.
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 19
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:14:40 PM
Dude, be quiet! What are you doing?
You are ruining it for all those guys on here who like to complain about how shallow women are and how average-looking guys don't stand a chance with them
By saying that hot women date ugly men, you contradict their delusions
Not cool
 CawkBlawker
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 20
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:17:31 PM
blah blah blah....beauty is in the eye of the beholder...blah blah blah What you might consider "ugly" someone else may consider "hot". Not everyone finds what everyone else finds pleasing to the eye or brain. Maybe the "ugly" guy has a big d!ck or a sense of humor? Remember Roger Rabbit? May be a cartoon, but Roger was cuter than any of the "men" in the movie and Jessica said "because he makes me laugh". This is true in 3D too. Happens all the time. Maybe that "ugly" female is great at oral or she likes anal and the all the "hot" girls won't do that. Maybe just maybe, some people look beyond physical looks. Nah, that can't be because everybody everywhere thinks EXACTLY alike. So, everyone can go home now, nothing more to see here.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 21
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:22:16 PM
Oops<

No worries, they never listen to us anyway!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 22
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:34:38 PM

Why is it in the majority of cases, men and women date partners that are not pleasing to the eye?


Who's eye???? All relative isn't it????? " It's not what you look at, it's what you see."


Are our personalities more attractive than our looks in the long run?


Ever been to a funeral and look at the person in the open casket????? Age does a lot of things to the exterior of a person,doesn't it???? So, I would "hope" that in the long run, there's a little more than just "looks". Some of our bodies turn out pretty phucked up in the end. The way it's suppose to be.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 23
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:36:24 PM


hot women date ugly men and visa

Well it just may be that visa they use very "generously"... "Hot" women are expensive, very high maintenance usually.

Why is it in the majority of cases, men and women date partners that are not pleasing to the eye? Is it an insecurity thing or something evolutionary?


"The eye"? You must mean "your eye". Unless you live at Lake Wobegon,
the MAJORITY of all people are just average looking as in the middle of the bell curve.

That is who is out there, a whole bunch of average people. Now if YOU have been watching lots of TV and movies,
you may THINK that the average people look like movie/TV stars, or perhaps the village people, but they don't...

Natural selection/instinct seems to motivate many people to seek partners that have near perfect bilateral symmetry and the "golden ratio of beauty" facial and body of about 1.62 for potential reproduction.

But many/most cannot find someone nearly perfect visually like that, so they focus on other qualities as well until they find someone acceptable to them.

VVV
had jumped from maybe 2-3 to 9-10 in my eyes. Everyone I knew still saw him with my "original eyes"; they saw him as a 2-3 and wondered what the heck I was doing with him, but to me, he was beautiful. We were together for over two years.


See OP, there is still hope if you can develop that "cool entertaining confident personality"..
Use that visa and send in 200 today for all those PUA books/CDs/tapes to become like that cool ugly guy in Texas.. (jk) (have to make it clear when I post scsm or jk these days )





Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:37:09 PM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
What you don't deem beautiful, someone else does.
And then as people age, looks change.
So someone who was gorgeous in their 30's have not aged so gracefully when they hit their 50's.

Strange question to ask.
As you are not the worlds judge on beauty.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 25
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:57:40 PM
I met a guy, thought he was QUITE unattractive, but he was a pretty cool guy so I hung out with him as friends for a while. After having spent so much time with him and started to really like his personality more and more, suddenly his outer appearance had jumped from maybe 2-3 to 9-10 in my eyes. Everyone I knew still saw him with my "original eyes"; they saw him as a 2-3 and wondered what the heck I was doing with him, but to me, he was beautiful. We were together for over two years.
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