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 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 1
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?Page 1 of 1    
Ladies How y'all doin? I was just curious and looking for ideas what do you consider a great first message from a guy? Or If you'd like you can tell me a great first message you've gotten. I've seen post with guys sending stupid messages to the hotties girls and getting a reply and I'm just thinking to myself like, how in the hell did that possibly work for him?!? lol so can someone jus share some of they're first messages or somethin. Maybe throw some ideas my way because I know most of you ladies get like at least 20 messages a day from 20 different guys. lol I'm trying to make my messages stand out from the cluster of messages sent by other guys. I'd be very thankful :)
 ORsunshinegirl
Joined: 10/3/2012
Msg: 2
Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 4:13:06 AM
Just be real and write something that shows you read her profile, in real life it would be called reflective listening... online might be called reflective reading. Women like that you read about her and will take the time to message her and say something about that. The absolute worst is a one liner..Hi or Hi, you look sexy :)
Really, that's all you got?
That's what goes through my head when I see messages like that.
Put some effort into it!
I know they say cast your wet wide to catch lots of fish, but in this pool you just might want to go deep... we are women afterall, and we like it like that.
 rockyroad32
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 3
Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 5:02:20 AM
sunshinegirl ^^^^^ She's absolutely right, which is why you should never ask a woman this type of question ;-)

Of course women like to have lots of well thought out witty messages, then they can pick and choose which ones to reply to, or just make a snap judgement from your profile picture and not even read the message. Meanwhile, you're putting all this effort in and still not getting that many replies and before long the frustration is starting to show.

Keep it short and sweet, but DO make it about something in her profile, you're going to have to do some work.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 4
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 5:40:34 AM
Here is a unique idea for ya. Use the forum search tool BEFORE posting stupid redundant threads that have been answered a million times.


I was just curious and looking for ideas what do you consider a great first message from a guy
The messages from guys they find attractive and have interesting profiles. Pics and profile get replies here. If she liked your pics/profile the message has to just not suck.

There is NO magic first message. IF SHE LIKED your pics and profile then write 3 or 4 sentences telling her what you liked or interested you in her profile so she knows you even READ IT. Ask her ONE easy question so there is something EASY for her to reply to. If you are clever humor helps. Trust me you dont have to write some super duper fantastic first message IF SHE LIKED YOUR PICS AND PROFILE. And if she didnt like your pics/profile then it wont matter WTF you write because she is not writing you a positive message indicating interest. You guys are WAY over thinking the whole first message thing. First messages should never take you more then 60 seconds. Its your pics and profile that get replies here. Focus on putting up the very very best pics and profile you possibly can

Now here is a tip for you.

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Cowboy
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 5
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 8:56:19 AM

The messages from guys they find attractive and have interesting profiles. Pics and profile get replies here. If she liked your pics/profile the message has to just not suck.

There is NO magic first message. IF SHE LIKED your pics and profile then write 3 or 4 sentences telling her what you liked or interested you in her profile so she knows you even READ IT. Ask her ONE easy question so there is something EASY for her to reply to. If you are clever humor helps. Trust me you dont have to write some super duper fantastic first message IF SHE LIKED YOUR PICS AND PROFILE. And if she didnt like your pics/profile then it wont matter WTF you write because she is not writing you a positive message indicating interest. You guys are WAY over thinking the whole first message thing. First messages should never take you more then 60 seconds. Its your pics and profile that get replies here. Focus on putting up the very very best pics and profile you possibly can

Now here is a tip for you.


This is the brutal truth lol I like that!... maybe I really do need to work on my pictures because someone said my pictures make me seem kinda ghetto, but I don't understand how thats possible because I'm doing nothing that resembles a ghetto person in my pictures. I'm not outside in house slippers or in pajamas or in my little brothers clothes. I'm certainly not standing outside eating a plate of food, smh I live in Huntington beach for crying out loud not Compton (-_-) but I guess I just need to work on my my pictures and start dressing more professionally like I do when I go to work. :-/ Thanks guys. great advice!
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 6
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:01:49 AM
& a special thanks to you to ORsunshinegirl. I was just wondering what I might be doing wrong because I do read the profiles nearly all the time. I love to read and learn about people and new things but I get lost when girls write really short profiles that have absolutely no information about them, then I'm forced to right simple short messages like

"Hey whats up I'm Jasper, It's nice to meet you. I really love your eyes, smile, hair, It makes you look very beautiful I just thought I'd say that it's like the ideas are very very short and limited. but the other guy was 100% right I think, he says if you're pictures make you look bad then outlook makes your whole world look bad so there's really no need to spice up the profile or the first message because chances are she wont even read it. But like I said thanks for the advice...
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 7
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:10:54 AM

This is the brutal truth lol I like that!... maybe I really do need to work on my pictures because someone said my pictures make me seem kinda ghetto, but I don't understand how thats possible because I'm doing nothing that resembles a ghetto person in my pictures. I'm not outside in house slippers or in pajamas or in my little brothers clothes. I'm certainly not standing outside eating a plate of food, smh I live in Huntington beach for crying out loud not Compton (-_-) but I guess I just need to work on my my pictures and start dressing more professionally like I do when I go to work. :-/ Thanks guys. great advice!
Look you are a 26 year old black male. You dress more like many (especially older) people might associate with gang/rap kinda people. Ghetto wasnt the right term exactly perhaps but so many associate that look with ghettos.

The way you look and dress is just you. And you should know at your age its not going to be found attractive by some. Just like long hair or facial piercings or goth look or lots of tats would be either.

Its probably fine within the peer group you run in. The pics could still be better. But I mean heck your in H.B (I lived there for 9 months about 2 years ago btw..) How about a couple smiling in your shorts and tank with no hat on sideways etc... and a smile? Beach kinda dress would be great for a couple..

A couple clear closeups with no shades, dewrags, baseball hats etc... How about a couple dressedUP like you would to go out in the evening or for work.

If you are open to attracting a wider range of people then show you can vary your looks too. I am not saying not to dress as you feel comfortable most the time but you really might consider varying the looks here in your pics a little more. Pics are very important here so put up the best 8 you possibly can
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 8
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:26:54 AM
I know but you brought something to my attention, I really do need to start dressing more professionally and I need to get use to it. I only do it when I go to work because I'm soo physical I don't wnat to mess up really expensive clothes. I'm almost always running or dodging or jumping somewhere. And lets not get me started when I'm with my friends and we start dancing or like play fighting or something, sheesshh!! but maybe I do need to just let all those tendencies go and start to presently myself better. I've never had horrible luck in person when I approach the ladies, I guess it's only just here. :-/ First time for everything I suppose...
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 9
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 12:17:11 PM

Put some effort into it!
I know they say cast your wet wide to catch lots of fish, but in this pool you just might want to go deep... we are women afterall, and we like it like that.


Cast your WHAT wide?
LOL - I dunno if that was a Freudian slip, given the context of the rest of the message - but it was funny nonetheless!
 JustMe55again
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 10
Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 2:21:09 PM
hmmm..from what I can see ur question was for women to answer and one did..the rest were guys.. the ladies must be on another forum....lmao good luck with that....
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 11
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 3:24:15 PM
LOL clearly I'm doin somethin wrong because when I look at the (who viewed me) section all I see is fat ugly ass girls lookin at me smh... Not to be mean but damn thats how I feel when I see all the faces hahahaha this is a extremely bad sign!.. it's saying that if I don't step my game up I'm going to end up marrying a fat ugly girl :-( HELL NO!!! I'll become a man whore before I let that happen and I'll just stay alone. I know I know that sounds sooo shallow but I refuse to lower my standards!
 joeynyc74
Joined: 9/17/2012
Msg: 12
Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 5:24:19 PM
seems you do not understand POF. Its basically a site where women come to get validation and ego building therapy. It is not you man, its the GAME. I do not date on here anymore, I just like reading the forum. I had a healthy self esteem before I tried internet dating. I was considered good looking ,handsome etc often enough. Always dated girls that I considered attractive.
Because of the large male/female ratio on here , girls who are 4-5 on the attractive scale think they are 8's, and avg and above girls think they are 9's and 10's. I am joking ,but NOT really. It seems the top 20% of guys attract the attractive women, so if I am only a 8(where I objectively place myself based on real life feedback and knowing 70% guys overweight in my age group ) I do not make the cut. It means I barely get looked at and god forbid I send a message to a women who is avg or above I will get ignored. POF is where men get ignored and rejected by women who are lower in looks than we are. You are better off trying the club, bar, street. For example, last weekend I met in Soho 3 women who are 9's (this site does not even have 9's). I am certain I could not meet them online. God forbid you have confidence and PUA skills, online dating blows. If yuo really d ohave any Game as you claim, try real life. You gotta wonder what type of women goes online , considering normal girls get hit on in real life. Also do not log on for 6 months and come back ,you will see all the attractive girls are still here. Its funny, as a joke I have sent a few messages saying " wow, you are still here?. how many years to become vested?".
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 13
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 6:39:25 PM

seems you do not understand POF. Its basically a site where women come to get validation and ego building therapy. It is not you man, its the GAME. I do not date on here anymore, I just like reading the forum. I had a healthy self esteem before I tried internet dating. I was considered good looking ,handsome etc often enough. Always dated girls that I considered attractive.
Because of the large male/female ratio on here , girls who are 4-5 on the attractive scale think they are 8's, and avg and above girls think they are 9's and 10's. I am joking ,but NOT really. It seems the top 20% of guys attract the attractive women, so if I am only a 8(where I objectively place myself based on real life feedback and knowing 70% guys overweight in my age group ) I do not make the cut. It means I barely get looked at and god forbid I send a message to a women who is avg or above I will get ignored. POF is where men get ignored and rejected by women who are lower in looks than we are. You are better off trying the club, bar, street. For example, last weekend I met in Soho 3 women who are 9's (this site does not even have 9's). I am certain I could not meet them online. God forbid you have confidence and PUA skills, online dating blows. If yuo really d ohave any Game as you claim, try real life. You gotta wonder what type of women goes online , considering normal girls get hit on in real life. Also do not log on for 6 months and come back ,you will see all the attractive girls are still here. Its funny, as a joke I have sent a few messages saying " wow, you are still here?. how many years to become vested?".


I Know right?!? I don't need to be here I just thought I'd try something new but it's kinda beginning to get lame because people are waaayy too judgmental... the young ladies don't even really read a damn profile they just look at ur pictures and determine where you stand... LoL for example in another forum people say I look like some gang member ROFL! but everyone in my neighborhood is old and white and I'm in college with two job lol oh brother! this is the first time I've been accused of looking like a gang member in my life because I don't sag or anything of the sort lol but everyone's entitled to they're own opinion sooo I just learned to stop giving a damn... and I beg to differ on the females not being all that great. I've ran into a few profiles where I was practically drooling!! I couldn't even click off the profile lol. I was studying on what to say to get this women to respond to my first message. lol one women told me to stop messaging her and that was very upsetting and hurtful to hahaha I thing it's better to stay in the outside world and hit on girls that way because at least it doesn't take me a month or a full year to get a number more like 5 or 10 minutes...
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 14
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 7:36:29 PM

Amazing how the losers that don't get replies try and justify that fact with all this crazy B.S. isn't it? You guys crack me up with this crap I swear

I swear I have more fun in the forum than I do trying to message females lol.. cowboy you made me laugh bro hahaha... all I'm saying is I refuse to be stuck here for like a year trying to fix up my profile and getting the hot hot girls to respond to me like some of the other loser guys I've ran across on the forum. They've been here for like a year or more constantly taking pictures and changing up words in they're about me's and first dates.. ROFLMAO!!... oh boy thats pathetic!..... any fool, hansom, skinny, fat, ugly, or retarded can just go out and say hi to an amazing girl walking in a store or through the mall and get her number. I've seen it before lol! But this online dating just takes it to a whole new level! I believe the problem is a lot of the females judge on ur photo's only. but sometimes photo's have nothing to do with your true personality so all that tells me is most of the beautiful girls on here are either extremely picky, shallow and uncompromising or they're being bombarded with like a million messages and don't really care to hear you out because lets face it, most of the ladies don't read ur profile nor messages if your not a pretty boy lol I swear I've had better lucky just looking at girls walk around at a fair or standing in a grocery store lol. They'll come up to me .

P.S. I'm not complaining I just think it's funny but at the same time messed up.... I will not stoop down to that pathetic level where I need to message a girl like 5 times before she responds to me with an angry response or till I get blocked lol thats loser lane and I have no time to take a ride down there. I'd rather just take a blow and exit stage left gracefully
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 15
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 7:39:38 PM
on another note I have yet to see a hot young girl in her earlie 20's post in a forum... it's always the ladies in they're late 20's,and mid 30's responding. rarely I'll see an Earlie 40's but it's rare.
 enjoyinlife83
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 16
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:03:55 PM


"Hey whats up I'm Jasper, It's nice to meet you. I really love your eyes, smile, hair, It makes you look very beautiful


NO, don't introduce yourself or talk about their looks. You're wasting their time- remember attractive young women have to sift through many messages. Talk about something you like in their profile, and have an interesting/witty comment about it. Don't make it longer than two paragraphs.

Compliments are for when you actually meet, and even then, don't lay it on too thick.
 fireflybetty32
Joined: 9/29/2012
Msg: 17
Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 10:28:22 PM

Or If you'd like you can tell me a great first message you've gotten.


The best first message is "Hi! How are you? Want to talk?" and if I like his profile and all that, then yes, I do want to talk. It really is that simple. Don't try to find an "in" on my profile. I know POF suggests that, but unless you're a huge fan of microbiology, Tim Burton, Stephen King, etc, too, then that convo's going to end as soon as it started. And just like every guy is not going to be attracted to me, every girl is not going to be attracted to you. If she's attracted, she'll respond.
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 18
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/29/2012 11:14:05 PM

The best first message is "Hi! How are you? Want to talk?" and if I like his profile and all that, then yes, I do want to talk. It really is that simple. Don't try to find an "in" on my profile. I know POF suggests that, but unless you're a huge fan of microbiology, Tim Burton, Stephen King, etc, too, then that convo's going to end as soon as it started. And just like every guy is not going to be attracted to me, every girl is not going to be attracted to you. If she's attracted, she'll respond.


The problem with that is... no of the females I'm interested in will respond hahaha.... not that I care anymore because I've had better success in public anyway! If this is what online dating consist of, getting ignored. I'm very disappointed lol... but like I said I'm not mad because I have no right to get mad at anyone for not wanting to talk to me lol... I was mad when it first started happening but now Idc anymore cuz I stepped out for 3 hours and met 4 beautiful girls , It certainly didn't take me a couple of months or weeks to get a phone number ROFL! And noooo nooo I'm not looking for sexual encounters (-_-) you know sometimes it'd just be nice to have someone to talk to, a friend to crack jokes with and play around with. seems like no body wants to be friends on here because I swear I have not ran into 1 profile that allows contacting for friendship. hahaha everyone says don't contact me if you're looking for friendship. I just hang out for the forums
 funandfloating
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 19
Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/30/2012 12:24:12 AM
The bottom line is that if a woman is attracted by the pic and the profile in general then you can say whatever, she will respond. You can ramble on for sentences and mention something in the profile that proves you have read it but if she doesnt like the look of you and the profile does not spark interest, then the message does not matter a hoot in my opinion.

T his is a dating site and no one really wants friendship. Join a penpal site for that.
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 20
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/30/2012 12:30:42 AM

T his is a dating site and no one really wants friendship. Join a penpal site for that.


hahahaha well put!! :-D I don't spend that much time inside... only when I need to be sleeping like right now. I just can't freakin sleep for some reason!!! (-_-) it's better to make friends in public and get off my butt lol but thx for the advice
 h00tyh00
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 21
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Ladies whats the best first message you've ever gotten on here?
Posted: 10/30/2012 12:35:48 AM
Not my fault I look like a ghetto thug lol. what am I suppose to do? dress like I'm from the Brady bunch? sheeesshh!!! as long as I do thugish things like steal rob and kill I'm good with my look, as long as I dont sag my pants to the floor or wear clothes 10 times my size i'm fine!... Just know That when I go out with my woman I dont dress the way I do in my pictures lol... I'm physical and I was doing physical things in almost all of those pics. Why wear expensive clothes when I'll mess them up anyway? Man makes the clothes, clothes don't make the man.
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