Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > How often do women initiate first contact?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 IronMikey
Joined: 6/16/2012
Msg: 1
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?Page 1 of 1    
Is it safe to say that if a woman iniciates first contact she is genuinely interested in you? or is it safe to assume.
Contact i mean a short mssg pertaining to my profile and a question about myself, this is how our convo was started.

I say this on the assumption that men mostly initiate these interactions "the first mssg" and the stereotypes that most men easily uphold when it's just the guys. I have female friends, lol, i know what women think of men, on a humorous note. Then there is the "traditional" aspect that some may believe in, even though this is not a traditional way of meeting people.

Im not wining just trying to explain why i ask the question.
 Zamboni_Operator
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 2
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/8/2012 11:08:48 PM
Mike, if they've taken the very rare step of initiating contact, then I'd say it's safe to assume they'll be putty in your hands. Just don't squeeze too hard...
 IronMikey
Joined: 6/16/2012
Msg: 3
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/8/2012 11:55:11 PM
should also say that the title is moreless the main question, wanted to "ask a girl" how often they try to iniciate conversations? again, I'm not whining by no means, just curious i suppose.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 4
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:32:35 AM
Try a forum thread search on 'first contact' or 'initiate contact' and you'll find lots of threads on this topic.
 IronMikey
Joined: 6/16/2012
Msg: 5
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:57:03 AM
The obvious works again. Thanks, there are quite a few.
 Habs_Fan13
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 6
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 4:35:27 AM
I will initiate first contact if I'm interested in someone. I don't spend a lot of time browsing on here though so it is quite rare. Most of the time I'm just going through my messages and responding to the very few that spark my interest.

If a woman initiates the conversation, something about your profile stood out to her and she is interested for the time being. The challenge is keeping that interest. Make sure your responses are interesting and the allows the conversation to move forward.
 MillaMillaMilla
Joined: 11/18/2012
Msg: 7
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 4:47:57 AM
I honestly don't think I have ever initiated first contact.

Basically because I don't want to get my hopes up for a reply that may never come.
If I message them I will keep checking to see if they replied and it is somewhat a put down if they don't reply.

Then they may not even be what I am looking for anyway so it would be just a whole waste of time and I would feel stupid for trying.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 8
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 4:59:05 AM
There are plenty of women who initiate first contact on here. Over half my first dates come from them contacting me. Almost all my 2nd dates and "relationships" have come from them contacting me.

Work on your pics if you want them to contact you.

Keep Fishing!
 BrianFromUSA
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 9
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 5:24:34 AM

Basically because I don't want to get my hopes up for a reply that may never come.
If I message them I will keep checking to see if they replied and it is somewhat a put down if they don't reply.

Then they may not even be what I am looking for anyway so it would be just a whole waste of time and I would feel stupid for trying.

That is so unbelievably selfish, one-sided, and lazy. I know that's how dating works. Women get to sit back and select while men do all the hard, depressing work of asking the women out. But do you not at least see that that is precisely what men deal with all the time?

For all you know the perfect guy for you for some reason hasn't seen or messaged your profile. When you message him, he will reply and he will be what you are looking for. Then again, you might sit back waiting for messages by a bunch of guys you aren't interested in and wonder why no decent guy will message you. There is nothing wrong with women being proactive. But even if you still won't be proactive, appreciate that many guys messaging you are experiencing the very same experience you are trying to avoid.
 RockabillyPaGirl
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 10
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 5:37:42 AM

For all you know the perfect guy for you for some reason hasn't seen or messaged your profile. When you message him, he will reply and he will be what you are looking for. Then again, you might sit back waiting for messages by a bunch of guys you aren't interested in and wonder why no decent guy will message you. There is nothing wrong with women being proactive. But even if you still won't be proactive, appreciate that many guys messaging you are experiencing the very same experience you are trying to avoid.


Quoted for truth....

If I would not have never messaged my boyfriend first we would have never met. He is everything I have always wanted and more. You are missing out on many great men. Actually in my personal experience I have had better luck with the men I have messaged first.
 _0_0_0_0_
Joined: 9/17/2012
Msg: 11
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 6:19:32 AM

I honestly don't think I have ever initiated first contact.

Basically because I don't want to get my hopes up for a reply that may never come.
If I message them I will keep checking to see if they replied and it is somewhat a put down if they don't reply.

Then they may not even be what I am looking for anyway so it would be just a whole waste of time and I would feel stupid for trying.


Agree with what BrianFromUSA said. This is the most selfish, lazy and childish thing I have ever read. But never mind, leave it to the blokes to do all the asking and put up with the continued rejection. I said before, blokes should just go on strike for a while and just stop making first contact and let the women start doing some work. I know some women do make first contact but I'm also sure as hell that the number of women who make first contact is less than they make out. Men are expected to be the confident go-getters and the chasers. No wonder we still get most of the best and highest paid jobs :)
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 12
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 7:27:11 AM

it's usually from the types of women that have tried everything else unsuccessfully it gets to a point where they don't care whether or not they get a response anymore. They are just completely incompatible with everyone else, so what's to lose?
You might be amazed how many women are here with hidden profiles or "forums only" profiles, or stating that they are not dating, or no public pics, who are actively dating. They choose to search and initiate contact, rather than deal with Inboxes full of unsolicited crap (frequently because they're smoking hot).

Yes; I get some messages from women who are 8 years older and ugly. But, I also get them from younger, attractive, available and very "dateable" women, and I'm no "George Clooney or Brad Pitt". My experience is not unusual, there are other average guys getting the same results on POF.

You might be surprised at the results if you post pics with smiling teeth.

Keep Fishing!
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 13
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 7:28:59 AM
Here is POF reality.

Some women make first contact frequently
Some never do

Young pretty gals get so many messages they dont really have to
More mature women seem more inclined and they respond more positively to interesting profiles and not JUST the pics. Yes they still have to like your pics! But the profile content does seem to count more for mature women.

Some women get discouraged by getting no replies after awhile just like the men and give up messaging. Bummer huh ladies?

Yes if they contact you thats a good sign.

I get a couple a day usually. 95 percent I am not interested in which is probably about the ratio most women here receiving many messages experience. Even the gals I dated on here that actually got 50+ messages a day all prayed for more messages from attractive interesting guys. The reality is you are just not going to be interested usually in the vast majority of messages you receive here.

It got so bad for a couple of the really cute gals I dated with their inboxs filled every day with crap that they hid their profile and got proactive and sent 4 or 5 first contact messages a day to guys they thought were cute and sounded fun. That way all the messages that hit their inbox were "pre-qualified" and they didnt have to waste a lot of their time wading thru the garbage. They both had full active lives and only got on POF a few minutes a day usually. They used to quickly line up first meets with interesting guys.

More of the cute gals that whine about all the crap email they get should actually give that method a shot!

But interesting statistic is I have a few hundred POF first meets. Actually dated (defined as more then 3 actual dates not a first meet) maybe 10. Four in longer term exclusive relationships and almost all the ones I actually dated contacted me first. Maybe its a co-incidence. I dont think so. Its a positive sign when they contact me first generally.

Cowboy
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 14
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 7:52:40 AM

How often do women initiate first contact?

Well...based on MY experiences, about once every four years.
Yes...your experience may differ.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 15
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 8:40:17 AM

responses here from women in my age group lets say realistically [24-28] is quite low and there's a lot to contend with.
No thats just YOUR response rate. Not everyones. To many conveniently forget that. Quit assuming everyone in your age group gets the same response rate as you do. They dont.

I am constantly amazed at all the guys getting a crappy response rate that assume everyone is. Not true. And its not true that its caused because women get a mountain of email a day and just somehow "miss" your important email. That dont "miss" your email guys! They seem them all. The really cute gals with hot profiles I dated on here that were getting 50 to 70 emails a day could easily go through them in MINUTES. Most they knew from the pic next to the message they had no interest in and never even had to view the profile. Delete. The ones that they did view the profile they only looked for an average of a few seconds. Long enough to know they had no interest basically. Delete. Pics and Profile are what gets replies!


there's more than a few bugs on this site that allow you to see that hidden profiles have viewed you as well in the top list based on logins.
No not if they are hidden. Many people hide and unhide their profiles here constantly. Which might confuse you.

Cowboy
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 16
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:45:04 AM

Sick of shallow people telling me to smile more, or being judgmental before they know what's gone on in someones life. If you had a face full of adult teeth knocked out at age 10 and cosmetic dentistry ever since until the age of 27 you wouldn't be smiling either.
Sorry. But, for what it's worth, I have severely stained dark grey/yellow teeth due to tetracycline staining from childhood. (look at my pics) I have a burn scar on my nose and significant acne scars. I'm also wearing make-up in all my pics. Even bad teeth can work better than no teeth. Even a tiny flash of white (or grey/yellow) will make a difference. Just do the best you can with what you got.

Keep Fishing!
 CawkBlawker
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 17
view profile
History
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:54:39 AM
Every time I find the perfect guy, I ask whether he is willing to get a vasectomy. So hard to find dates here. Sigh.
 Bella_RF
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 18
How often do women initiate first contact?
Posted: 12/9/2012 11:59:39 AM
I have initiated contact and it's usually because I like the profile and pictures posted. Now...I take it all with a grain of salt, a profile can only explain so much and the pictures may be outdated but that all comes out after meeting.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > How often do women initiate first contact?