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 leahbn2u
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 1
Sex ToysPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Does anyone want to share what they think : If someone you met online that you have been dating for years is suddenly using sex toys, practicing kinky weird sex...in your opinion what would this make you think? and how would you feel? and would you continue seeing this person. HONEST answers please...thanks
 clayart
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 2
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 6:54:28 PM

been dating for years is suddenly using sex toys, practicing kinky weird sex...in your opinion what would this make you think?


I have no clue because they wouldn't have been around for years.
 JustinCassidy
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 3
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Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 6:54:35 PM
Well seeing as I used toys myself from time to time, I wouldn't be too surprised or concerned.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 4
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Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 7:57:46 PM
I'd wonder why they waited so long to break out the toys!! LOL
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 5
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Posted: 12/11/2012 8:03:24 PM
if they did an about-face after years (sex toys may or may not be an about face, depending upon the person), I would wonder why. just as if they changed their moral code dramatically, after years of knowing them.
 Izzy0220
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 6
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:08:09 PM
You always have the best comments here lol
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 7
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:43:53 PM
what is kinky weird sex to you?
 CookieCrmblr
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 8
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:16:06 PM
i think it would depend on what u consider weird or kinky... if that's something that u find offensive then maybe u're not exactly compatible... but if not, then why not give it a go as well?
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 9
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:57:02 PM
Are we talking about vibrators and dildos, or harnesses and blow up dolls...

If it was a blow up doll I would pop it...
If it was a harness, I would strap their pet in it...
If it was a dildo I would disinfect it, and put it in their purse, bag, or knapsack...
If it was a vibrator, I would throw it out the window, and just shake them vigorously next time we did it...

I would think , hey what the heck, buying all these toys and not taking me for dinner, or/and a movie, just buying toys all the time...

I would feel a little betrayed, yet playful for some reason...

I might still see them, if they found a classic movie theatre, and treated me to a picture show featuring; Babes In Toyland, (aka March Of The Wooden Soldiers) (1934), Wonderful black and white classic ...
 ggpaws
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 10
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 5:24:38 AM
Not sure which party you are speaking. The woman breaking out the toys Hell Yes, would be upset that it took years to get the kinky. A man using sex toys on himself. Not! Run Forest Run!
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 11
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Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 5:48:41 AM
I'd think he either was bored with the routine sex life and went googling or he kept it hidden from you for all these years and finally came out of the toy closet.

Either way, if it's a deal-breaker for you, send him my way :)

Honestly, I think you should stop trying to analyze it, relax and enjoy.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 12
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 6:07:37 AM
OP,,I was wondering what kinky means to you,,, My girl just mentioned a few toys she wanted to try out.. I said sure,, as long as they are Nut Crackers, Strap-on with staples attached,,and No Electrical shock treatments, or plastic bags over my head. I guess excluding those type of toys,, I am good with most anything that we both agree upon..
 assertiveblonde
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 13
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Posted: 12/12/2012 12:28:22 PM
there have been lots progams about sex toys on the tv reacently , if your in doubt why dont you just ask them and see what they say , best not to overthink things without asking the party in question the explanation could be quite simple and not sinister , im a great beliver in dont knock it till youve tried it
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 14
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 1:36:47 PM
Now, if you are dating this person then more than likely you have had sex with them. So if SHE wants to use sex toys, we would have the conversation and what is it that she would like to achieve. If the case is the other way around, meaning the one wanting to use sex toys is a man, then the question is, on himself, on his woman? Does she like it? Is she a prude? Is she open about her sexuality? And also, where does each draw the line.

Most women I know and dated have their own battery Operated Boyfriends. They have used it to finish off and have an extra orgasm. Or if they didn't have one, to have that one. Others have used it when I am not around and found themselves to be horny. None of this bothers me for the simple reason that I tend to date women with a high libido. Also whatever I can do to enhance their sexual experience, within the realm of a monogamous relationship, I am all for it.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 15
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Posted: 12/12/2012 1:55:04 PM
Abelian hit it right on again, LOL.

My honest answer OP: You will hear a lot of different views here which won't help you much, as it does not matter. What is "kinky and/or weird" sex is different for everybody.

You will have to decide if the changes are acceptable for you or not.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 16
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:37:41 PM
I would want to watch!!! Better then cheating. I myself, dont care for toys too much, There are all kinds of toys for men now. I wouldnt mind watching to see he is thinking. Nothing wrong with changing things . But guess there can be things that are too kinky. Like animals. That would be too much for me.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 17
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 5:30:30 PM
someone you met online that you have been dating for years is suddenly using sex toys, practicing kinky weird sex.

In my experience of long-term sexual relationships, we explored and evolved together – gradually. With each other.

I suppose it’s possible they’d discover toys on their own, but ‘sudden’ kinky weird sex practices that take me by surprise? Unless I misinterpreted your post, I would wonder whom they’ve been ‘practicing’ with?
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 18
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Posted: 12/12/2012 6:45:38 PM
There's nothing wrong with toys.

The question is why the "sudden" change?
- A new partner?
- New exposure through porn or a visit to a sex shop?
- He's just now comfortable enough to share it with you?

Keep Fishing!
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 19
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 6:57:10 PM
I think it's great! As we get older and more mature and comfortable with our bodies we tend to want to try new things. Toy's are one of those things that can bring an enormous amount of pleasure to a relationship. What you call "kinky sex" may be normal to the average person. You didn't go into details but instead of showing the evil eye why not join him and have some playful fun together! Maybe he's your 50 shades...

Honestly? I don't think there's a man out there that wouldn't love a woman to bring the toys into the bedroom. Not all but most men would love it, at least the men I know do lol.
 leahbn2u
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 20
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 7:06:08 PM
You know, I'm starting to think that finally tried something new but probably has been doing all along...
 leahbn2u
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 21
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 7:08:59 PM
This answer has definitely helped me think this with a rationale mind.....yes I would feel betrayed too, and yes I would feel playful too, and yes the two way street would be a prerequisite...eventually if things didn't go back to normal, I'd have to hang it up with this one...

dildo's with a male counterpart? is this common? :_0
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 22
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Posted: 12/12/2012 8:52:54 PM

dildo's with a male counterpart? is this common? :_0

Can only speak of my own experiences.....but it is definately "common" for me!
My man using a toy on me is a very sensual experience.....and he loves to watch me use one on myself....
it's also a great way for a man to learn more about how his woman likes to be pleasured.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 23
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/12/2012 9:43:50 PM
These things are rarely "sudden ". He may be being more open about it, or just starting to be more expressive and experimental but chances are he's been kinky for a while. Kinksters learn to hide it well and how to be subtle about it. Nillas can miss the signs and cues.
There are people in my life who have little or no idea that I have a few kinks of my own. Some of them should! I don't generally go around announcing it, but for crying out loud even my adult kids have figured it out! How they knew I haven't a clue but when they have a question about BDSM, kinks and fetishes I'm the one they come to.

More on topic; if I were upset at all, which would be unlikely, it would because they didn't share it with me sooner and would want to know if it was kept hidden because they didn't feel they could trust me enough. If that were the case, we would need to talk about that.(the trust issue not the kink).
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 24
Sex Toys
Posted: 12/13/2012 4:36:35 AM
To me it would mean they just wanted spice up our sex life ...
It wouldnt bother me at all.

I'm keen on trying new things too.

 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 25
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Posted: 12/13/2012 5:07:44 AM

eventually if things didn't go back to normal, I'd have to hang it up with this one
What?
"Normal" sexual behavior is virtually ANYTHING (legal) that BOTH partners are comfortable with. Healthy sexual relationships typically include VARIETY as a critical component. Being overly focused on or "requiring" a single activity is not good in the long run.


dildo's with a male counterpart? is this common?
H*** yes!
Him watching you, helping you, using a second (or third!) one on you, you using one on him. All valid choices if you are BOTH comfortable with it.

Spend some time reading other threads in this forum. You could learn a lot about what is "normal" and accepted (by some or many). Human sexuality is complex and there are almost endless possibilities.

Keep Fishing!
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