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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?      Home login  
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 My_name_is_paul
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 1
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've pretty much emailed everyone that PoF says that are within 25 miles of my zip and results ave been not much more than polite chat.

The next big area is an hour away.

Any idea on what to do?

Take a break from Pof?

Do woman really want to drive 30 min to small town, usa?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 2
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:21:57 PM
Can you drive 30 minutes to Big Town USA?
And if you did....
could you move there?
 sigungq
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 3
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:22:25 PM
WOW - you're 6'1, the women should be flocking to you..... Except of course VTJ555. She needs 6'3. Anyway, expand your area to 75 miles.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:31:37 PM
You could explore non-digital methods and make yourself more visible in the community.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 5
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:50:41 PM
Noooo, women do not want to drive 30 minutes to small town, usa, but probably will if you build a reasonable amount of rapport with them...

Polite chat is gooood, nurture those , build on them, and then out of the blue when they think it is just polite chit chat back and forth, Boooom!, you lower the lets go on a date somewhere close by,lol, I feel it will work for you...
 AusteniticSteelMan
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 6
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 9:53:29 PM
All I can say is...

Hope you got some gas money there fella.

But yea, breaaaaak time.

or..... expand search results to include larger town, usa =]
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 7
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:20:29 PM
You are 43 but don't want anyone your own age but will date an 18 year old? Yea I think you just creeped out however many females are with in an earhot of ya, and may need a reset.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 8
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:34:57 PM
Welcome to life in a small town. I live on an island. I honestly believe I know every man who is single and age appropriate within 25 miles. Blah.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 9
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 11:03:12 PM
annywn raises a valid point in her msg# 8 above:

"...You are 43 but don't want anyone your own age, but will date an 18 year old?
Yea I think you just creeped out however many females are within earshot of ya, and may need a reset..."

Perhaps try setting your parameters at your current age and then 6-7 years above and below?
 Bella_RF
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 10
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/11/2012 11:57:34 PM
I hate long distance relationships but am endeavoring one who is now 2 hours away but...I think this one may be worth my time. Wants what I want, he's not jaded in any way from previous marriage and first date is soon. If he's worth it who cares how far and I may even consider moving away! Done with men who don't know what they want or can't commit in my area!!
 Jimbonator62
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 11
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:10:37 AM
If you expect them to flock to you, you will never get a date. Why do you think they should drive to you? You might also consider dating women your own age, that'll increase your dating pole dramatically.
 Iamhereonthissite
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 12
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:21:34 AM
Welcome to life in a small town. I live on an island. I honestly believe I know every man who is single and age appropriate within 25 miles. Blah.


If you know so many single men, have you at least dated any of them? LOL


Welcome to life in a small town. I live on an island.


Yeah, I've seen it advertised on T.V. Looks like a nice area. :)

Yeah, I keep seeing the same faces in my small area....they've been here a little too long, some of them even complain about how hard it is for them to meet people in the area....of course I email them, not to get a response. Kind of a shame, esp. if some of them live within only minutes from me.

In these cases, one has to either just relocate, be willing to pay the gas to commute an hour to the big city, or consider those single men as an option.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 13
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:23:28 AM
As we mature, we begin to understand what we truly want/need in a partner. We are no longer of the mindset we were as teens when as long as someone was attractive to us, the rest didn't matter. This of course limits the dating pool substantially. Add to that your location, as you you are discovering, the dating pool shrinks even more.

So what are your options? You can broaden your search. This can either mean being willing to travel further, or dating a wider age range or reduce the number of restrictions. Aspects we would like but are not vital to us need to be considered. For instance:-


Female
Age between 28 and 40.
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Dating
Must not be looking for Friendship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
Must not smoke


Would it be the end of the World if 'she' lived 76 miles away, or was 41 ? What if her definitions of hang-out, dating, friendship etc, don't match yours? You could be eliminating people who don't want to rush into a relationship and move in together is they think the most suitable option for explaining that is 'dating'. You have a lot of restrictions of your profile and you are shrinking your audience with each and every one of them. How about using your Inbox to vet poeple rather than blocking everyone from getting in touch from the get to? Just something to consider.
 tickle_me_pank
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 14
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 4:38:24 AM
I don't know what to tell ya. *Of course* your options will be limited in small-town America. I live there myself so, yes I would personally not be put off by a half-hour drive because it takes *at least* that to get anywhere here. You could be here for years searching for the mother of your child, or she could just show up here tomorrow. You never know.
 My_name_is_paul
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 15
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 8:57:07 AM
30 miles is like an hours drive. Damn back roads. If I expand to 50 or 75 miles than its 3 hours drive time (1.5 out and back) and that's an entire evening.

I don't think I am looking for an 18yo.. I never communicated with anyone more that 10 years in age difference (12 being my limit).

When I click on 'My City" or do a basic search none of that is taken into account.. just how far the live from me.

I guess its break time.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 16
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 9:03:10 AM
You won't consider anyone your age or a few years older? Yeah, you are definitely adding even more limitations to yourself.

And the woman MUST want kids? Even more limitations.

Good luck
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 17
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 9:05:18 AM

When I click on 'My City" or do a basic search none of that is taken into account.. just how far the live from me.


But the moment they see your profile and age "preferences," they may be totally turned off--or, if you haven't emailed them, they cannot even email you. Capice?
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 18
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 9:41:25 AM
OP,

You gotta have a sizeable pool to draw from. No matter what anyone tells you, dating IS a numbers game. You're on POF because of the small pool of potential dates that you have in real life, aren't you? Well, don't do anything to limit the size of the pool you can draw from online.

And, no matter what we'd like, the internet does not bridge geographical distance. If you want to draw from that bigger pool, you've got to be willing to travel.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 19
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 10:13:30 AM
You can always try the mail order bride route if getting out of the back woods is too difficult. A woman from a third world country wouldn't care about living in the middle of nowhere.
 justgowithit74
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 20
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 10:40:59 AM
Don't be so rigid on your preferences.
 gofurguy
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 21
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 12:17:47 PM
sometimes you just have to believe. i chatted with a woman on line that was going through a divorce after 33 years, she was in Eau Claire wisc and i live on the iron range in northern mn. its a 5 maybe closer to 6 hour drive. she drove up and she stayed 3 days, but i understand where your at in northern mn here we have nothing but small towns and few ladies for me , mostly in their 20s and 30s.its hard to find anyone when they all seem to be 200 miles away, hang in there it does happen
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 22
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 2:58:31 PM
Surely you realized that living in out in the sticks would mean that it would take more of an effort to have conveniences that living in a city would provide....didn't you? Oh well that's moot.

Is there any community close enough not to inconvenience you too much (snicker)?? Do you read the local newspaper for activities, hang out at the post office, general store, farm supply??? Maybe you could run a small ad in the local paper......local bachelor looking to get hitched...something like that (or not).

Seriously, even us city folk use more than one venue, we all don't just rely on POF for our dating choices. You need to get creative, and look to expand your social circle. May even have to get a library card....haha.

Almost forgot, have you posted on the regional (state) forums? There may be an event in your area or within driving distance, OR you can always start your own thread and see if anyone else who lives closeby would like to set one up.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 23
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 3:11:12 PM
"Surely you realized that living out in the sticks would mean that it would take more of an effort to have conveniences that living in a city would provide....didn't you?"

That's not quite fair Bucsgirl. A person who has lived all his/her life in a rural area is not going to have any idea what dating is like in a populous area.

OP has heard the inflated claims made for online dating, and having tried it, wonders if he's been had. Like many others on here.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 24
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Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 3:21:11 PM
"That's not quite fair Bucsgirl. A person who has lived all his/her life in a rural area is not going to have any idea what dating is like in a populous area."

True, however that's assuming he's always lived in a rural area, which has not be stated. Even so, at some point a person becomes aware that many conveniences aren't as far of a distance away as they are in rural area.
 tiff7777
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 25
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/12/2012 3:27:09 PM
Get your car keys and drive.
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