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 AUTHOR
 moondust1163
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 1
Guys and there lies. Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hi all i need advice, I have been dating for the last 3 1/2 years and last week noticed a POF inbox in my partners mail, so i asked him about it and he told me he had joined last year after we had had an argument, well all relatioships have arguments so not really a valid reason. So i decided to join the site and see his profile and hes basically looking for intimate encounters when in all honesty he has no reason to do that either as he doesnt go short. A few days ago he looked me straight in the eye and promised me he would delete his profile off here but hes still showing up in searches, so (sorry for being dumb) would that mean hes still on the site?

Thanks.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 2
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History
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 4:59:10 AM
Yes, if he's showing up in searches then yes, that means he's still on the site. It doesn't mean necessarily that he's actively logging in, however, unless you can see it saying "online today" or "online this week" or whatnot when you do the search.

You do realize that your own profile shows you as having joined in 2009 though, not a week ago as you claim? Just saying.
 moondust1163
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 3
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:03:45 AM
Yes its a really old account that i havent used in years, i meant to say logged into as i needed to know what my partner was doing. So least now i know hes still looking and i have to decide what to do next.
 moondust1163
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 4
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:07:03 AM
And this is not a troll post im simply asking advise i thought thats what the forum was for?
 onecoolM8
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 5
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:20:33 AM
Yeah Sweetness hit the nail there, just joined eh? you didnt delete your profile either , you might have hidden it but you didnt delete it either so look who isnt being honest.

So the bottom line is both of you have a problem with being honest so it really doesnt matter what excuse he uses .
 moondust1163
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 6
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:28:30 AM
wasnt hidden i had to reset my password as it hadnt been used in years. I dont know i come for advice and get attacked. There are some honest decent folk and i for one am one of them. Im sure lots would do the same in my situation!!!
 moondust1163
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 7
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:31:43 AM
Just because my profile is old doesnt mean it was used all this time, its very easy not to sign in here even if i was single and i was when i originally joined it was a waste of time then and still is..
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 8
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:35:37 AM
to be completely objective, he promised to delete it but he didn't say WHEN.
 moondust1163
Joined: 7/1/2009
Msg: 9
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:38:34 AM
he told me on the 10th he had deleted, but hey ho its still on here, so yes i guess im the fool. but maybe you try to believe in the person you love.. I keep hoping its the site thats not cleared his profile and thats why hes showing up. And people get to vote to remove under pity/troll rules, its not about me being a troll and looking for pity its about compassion and asking advice.


Thanks TAWT i cant post again for some odd reason ..
thanks again i appreciate your help..
 TAWT
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 10
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 5:44:42 AM
I keep hoping its the site thats not cleared his profile

No. When you delete your profile, it disappears IMMEDIATELY.
"User closed account on x/x/xx."

If you search for a profile name and it doesn't show up, and if it doesn't say "User closed account...", that means it's hidden. They're still here. If you have a hidden profile, it doesn't show up in the searches but you can still search and contact people.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 11
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Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 6:07:56 AM
He's still on the site, just lying about it. Why I hate meeting people off here, some seem to have problems staying away even when in committed relationships. Even if he deletes that profile he's likely to make up a new one. Lot's have at least 2 profiles anyways. One you know about, one you don't.
 Msholiday282
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 12
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 6:15:55 AM
I label these guys hunters. They are always hunting for the next prettiest or unusal marble. They will always be hunters. Do you want that in your life for the next year or so?
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 13
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 6:17:09 AM
Hold the phone, sister ... you joined this site in 2009, not a couple of days ago. And I'm not sure what drove you to snoop in your partner's email -- maybe your own guilt? Even if your profile has been hidden since 2009, you can still get on here and creep around without your partner knowing. And even though he said he'd delete his profile, it doesn't sound like you're willing to do the same.

I suspect he was suspicious of you also and that's why he joined. It doesn't appear there's a lot of trust in this relationship. And you shouldn't be pointing fingers at your lying partner when you are just as guilty.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 14
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Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:18:42 AM
I agree with msholiday. I don't think many who are on this site can or do really know what a faithful, honest relationship looks like. If you feel the need to check up on him.. the trust was already gone in the relationship. That is not him, that is OP's issue. These sites seem to encourage the idea of many choices. Often too many people get sucked up into the grass is always greener or prettiest marble notions and do not focus on making a relationship last. At first sign of trouble,they are jumping back on line to seek out the next one.
 Dannyray-52
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 15
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Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:21:24 AM
Before you kick your guy to the curb on this. Put it to the test. Make a test profile and then delete it. Then search for it. Some sites keep old profiles to make the selection look larger than what it really is. Some use robot profiles also. One last thing, the games being played on this site are being played by both genders.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 16
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:24:26 AM
You're not dumb. Maybe a bit naieve? So his promise excuses his length of time on PoF? Trust your gut instinct. I'm sorry you've dated this long and have no ring. But don't listen to me, I'm the guy that rushed in with a ring 3x because I thought it was the right thing to do when I love a woman and have been with her exclusively for a year.

I'd give him the boot and let him sulk and pout for awhile. Sh*t, maybe he'll try to 'win you back' the second time.
 gage4fun2
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 17
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History
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:33:38 AM
Joined 7/1//2009

" About Me
will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later will fill this in later. later i said later later later later

First Date
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////"

Maybe we should relabel this thread A woman and HER lies
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 18
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:43:04 AM
To me if you are in a three year relationship,you shouldn,t be having a profile here even if it is hidden.Before you point the finger remember you have three pointing right back at you.It isn,t just guys and their lies it is women as well.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 19
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:51:32 AM
OP if you had a profile for the sole purpose of being on the forums and your guy was aware of it most of us would see this as ok. If you have been hidden the entire time and not used your profile I don't see that as much of a foul. If you guy is with you and you find him on here looking for intimate encounters that is.


Does it show as ONLINE every time we log in???? Lots of time I'm reading forums or reading profiles-not reading email


Yes it does and you will show up as online in the inbox of whomever you have communicated with over the last twenty days regardless of whether you are hidden or not and also show up as when you were last online if someone has you on thier favorites list
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 20
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:52:00 AM
Quick question--
Does it show as ONLINE every time we log in???? Lots of time I'm reading forums or reading profiles-not reading email....
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 21
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 7:54:01 AM
There Is a difference between deleting and hiding your profile. I suggest you talk to your mate. We only have one side of the story and that's yours. We do not have all of the info. It's your life, try working it out with him. You both can set down together and delete both profiles, and both agree to act differently during an argument. Then take it from there. Good luck.
 gage4fun2
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 22
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History
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:02:46 AM
Men can't hide their profile like women can, Happy_gal.
 Countryboy_4u
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 23
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:27:00 AM
I couldn t agree more Phoenix, thumbs up!!
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 24
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:33:11 AM
Gage4fun, I didn't know that. Maybe it's just for male paying members then. Sorry
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 25
Guys and there lies.
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:42:57 AM

Men can't hide their profile like women can


As far as I know they can. For guys who say they never get any women they are attracted to messaging them first thier is no advantage for a guy to not be hidden since he is doing all the chasing and those he chases can see when he is online when he is hidden.
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