| hmm... "head games"?
Posted: 11/10/2004 6:06:46 PM | So I was doing some thinking today about "head games" because I've seen profiles on various dating sites saying that people are tired of the "head games".
So, here's my thought. Perhaps the reason people do it is because it works? And the reason it works is because the perceived value of something is increased if it took effort.
It's a common thought in computer games... if you don't make someone work for that twinky sword or spell, having the twinky sword or spell isn't as fun. Or when you do consulting if you don't charge enough money it can be hard for people to take you seriously because they assume that you're not any good.
Let's put it another way. Let's you go out and hand some jobber on the street $1000. Do you think they're likely to horde the money like they would if they had earned it, or are they likely to run out and splurge at least some of it away because "it was free money"? What $1000 is worth didn't suddenly change, just their perception of the worth of that money.
I'm not saying everyone is like that, or that you people are like that. (If you were to hand me $1000, I doubt I would spend it much differently than if I had earned it, for example. I would feel the impulse though.) I was just thinking about where the whole "head games" thing came from, and why it seems to be such a big deal.
Thoughts?
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Posted: 11/10/2004 11:47:18 PM | what's funny (and a bit ironic) is, do you really think that putting "no games" in your profile is going to net you someone who won't mess with your head? Are they going to look at your profile and say "well, I was going to respond to their ad, but I wanted to play them like a fiddle but they don't want that. Hmm, guess I'll go find someone who does."?
no, can't say they would. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2004 3:40:10 AM | | My take on games is that 9 times out of 10, neither person thinks they are playing games, but it appears that way to the other. It is just the way we choose to interpret our disconnects with the opposit sex. | |
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Posted: 11/11/2004 8:57:39 AM | | why play games? Be honest let the cards fall where they may. If it seems someone is playin you bust em....move on ...so many other people would love to spend time with you... be brave rescue the princess kill the evil one and live happily ever after! ..wink | |
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Posted: 3/22/2005 12:45:34 PM | Interesting analogy. I prefer to think of people who play head games as folks who really should play more chess in their spare time.
When you look at the two, you can see a similarity.
Words become the pieces on the board.
Each statement is like a chess move which carries motive, meaning and purpose. Your opponent must think through all the permutations of your last move, evaluate them against his/her own strategy and goals for the match and then make a move in turn.
In the end, there can be a victor or one of the opponents may choose to resign from the match. | |
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Posted: 3/29/2005 11:04:28 AM | | I don't really understand the whole mind game thing myself. Granted, I've been played a time or two. But I'm guilty of playing them once or twice also. I think that it is human nature. Like children... | |
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Posted: 3/29/2005 12:34:46 PM | | According to some theories, certain mind games are not only inevitable, but necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. If certain actions/attitudes from a lover feel emotionally abusive in some way, they probably are and you should get out. However, some games are mild and may simply serve to pique the interest of the other; they are meant to keep someone around, not drive them away. | |
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