| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 11:19:50 AM | | Hey everyone, I met a girl about a two months ago who Im very interested in dating. Everthing had been going great until she realized that I wanted to take it past the friendship level. She was shy to begin with and now its even harder to have a conversation with her. Im sure that she is just as attracted to me as I am to her, but I think that is what is makeing it hard for her, like maybe she doesn't want to say something that would make me think less of her. This whole situation is even harder due to the fact that Im kinda shy my self and Im the one who has to carry 99% of the conversations we have. She will cuddle with me but getting her to say more than two words at a time seems futile... What can I do to get her to open up? Can enyone think of something we could do on a date that might make her more comfortable? Enyone had a similar experience and some good advice on how to make this work out? | |
|
| |
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 11:32:19 AM | Dude this is easy. Get her drunk. Usually when a really shy person gets drunk they don't shut up.
But if that doesnt work, toss her back in the pool with a note pinned to her chest that says, Hi I'm shy, I do not talk, I will just stare at you with my funny eyes and giggle. So the rest of the guys know to stay clear of her.
Someone who you've know for 2 months and still can't say two words has some issues that they need to work on.
If you like her stick it out. If you can't hang with it, dump her. Or maybe ask her if she'd rather have you just leave her alone. If she says no ask why? In fact start only asking open ended questions, no yes or no questions anymore. Either she'll talk or her head will pop.
Does she have a cat? Maybe he has her tongue. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 11:34:15 AM | | being funny works somewhat but she just smiles and laughs more often than conversing back. Ive tryed the alchol route, but that dosent last. The other problem Is im not much of a drinker and I dont what her to get the wrong impression. Both are good suggestions tho, thanks for lookin out Beets! | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 11:42:57 AM | | She wasnt so bad until she realised I had the hots for her. Im hopeing if I keep trying she will relax again. I'll try the no open ended question approach and see how it works out, at least she will have to say something one way or the other. thanks Evanism. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 12:20:12 PM | | Doesn't sound like a problem with shyness to me, frankly it sounds to me like a conflict of personality types... she sounds like the kind of girl who'd be a great cheerleader cuddled up with the captain of the football team, and you sound like the super talkative super romantic type that would be better off with one of those super insecure never-stops-calling-or-talking types of girls... which are incredibly difficult to find, but they do exist. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 12:37:54 PM | I'd say get her something that she will look upon over and over, to think about you more and more... But something meaningful, if you know what her room looks like, buy her a large mirror to suit, with a note saying, "I got this for you knowing that every time you'd look at it you'd see my view of what true beauty really is." She'd look at it before she go's to sleep and when she wakes up, something like that will draw her thoughts to you...
The best thing is mirrors can ether be in expensive or you can go all out and get the gold trim shit...
Trust me it will work...
 | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 2:43:34 PM | | Shy girls are easy. You just flip them onto their backs and rub their bellies. That makes them giggle and they relax. | |
|
| |
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 2:49:13 PM | ^^^^^
Exactly, just tickle her! It works everytime. Then after its all said and done maybe give her a hug to show that you care. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 5:55:02 PM | Have you specifically told her (with words and not hinting) that you want to take it past the friendship level? Sometimes shy people don't know or are afraid to acknowledge your interests (no matter how obvious you may be) unless you tell them straight out.
What can you do to make her open up? Reassure her that you care about her and you want her to be herself around you. If she has a hobby or a particular interest in something plan a get-together around that interest (ie, if she likes animals take her to the zoo). This will give her something to talk about (something you can ask her questions about). Make sure it's something she feels comfortably knowledgeable in though.
Best of luck. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/1/2005 6:04:26 PM | Tickle her? I dunno, I'm a fairly shy and passive girl, and seriously, tickling makes me violent. I HATE IT. If anyone even says the word 'tickle', I let them know that they had better not even TRY doing it to me or they will get a serious beating...no joke.
But that's just me! | |
|
| |
| |
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/2/2005 6:40:29 AM | | Thanks eveyone for the advice. I think that the gift is a great Idea Bali, I was thinkin something more subtle than a mirror, more of just a momento to remind her of me. I was actually thinkin of flowers yesterday before I read these replies, but they wouldn't last long enuff for what I think your talkin about. Now as for the tickleing that alot of you have mentioned, Ive already tryed a little of that with little results other than some squirming and blushing. On another note, I was talking to the friend that intoduced us last night and she tells me that I shouldn't be to concerned about her being so quiet. According to her, she has always been like that and I just have to give her a little more time. Once again thanks you all for the suggestions, Its nice to see that I havn't been to far off with the stuff Ive already tryed. I havn't told her directly that I want to take it to the next level so I gess I should just come out and say it at one point. Im going to take her out to dinner later this week, spend some quality one on one time, and let her get to know me better. Maybe if she saw that I am trying to open up to her than she will try the same with me. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:12:26 AM | be patient and make her feel comfortable. You know,.....sex is only one of hundreds of things to do. If that's all you want-maybe she should look elsewhere. Take her out to dinner or to a movie, go fishing, play cards, buy her flowers, etc Do you want to marry her? If marriage has never crossed your mind, why should sex? She sound like a rare/nice girl. Most people who put out.....do so with others most of the time. Sex, should be harder to get because, Marriage should be the goal. Try masturbation before seeing her.....she owes you nothing. If you can't maintian yourself...go find yourself a slut orwhore...out of 6 billion people out there-you shouldn't have a single problem! Yet, you find a rare gem-and you're still not happy. terrible-just terrible | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/2/2005 9:50:39 AM | | lol... I think you got me all wrong. I do want sex eventually but that is not what Im after right now. Ive been celibate for 4 years now and I dont plan on changing that until I find some one that I think I could settle down with. As it is, Im still trying to figure out if were compatiable enuff to date, I haven't even considered marriage yet. I have about as much use for a 'slut' right now as an butthole on my elbow lol | |
|
| |
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/2/2005 10:49:34 AM | Alias,
You might want to do things that are in her "territory"...maybe go out to dinner with a couple she knows, or have a little dinner party and let her invite who she wants to invite...it might help her let her guard down when she's alone with you.
Good luck!
-sparkle | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/2/2005 11:17:02 AM | Chevelle- your probably right, I need to stop thinking so much into it and just let it happen if its going to happen.
Sparkle-Thanks for the suggestion. Her best freind is the one that introduced us, Ill try and see if she and her boyfriend would want to do a double date or somthing, maybe that will help. I would try the dinner party thing but unfortunatly, I cant cook. Heck, I burn poptarts, I'd probably set the house on fire trying to cook a real meal. | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/2/2005 1:41:52 PM | The alcohol thing is so true. I am a shy person too and when I am drunk, I won't shut up. the thing with shy people is they have lots to say but they are too afraid to say it because they scare what other might think of what they've just said. As pointed out by others, it takes time. Once she get comfortable with you, she will open up and be more talkative. Another approach you MIGHT want to try is not to be the one doing most of the talking. I tend to talk more when I am around people that don't talk much but when I am around talktaive people, I stay shut. So u might want to try to be more quiet or less talkative and let her try to take the lead in the conversation. If engage in a conversation with her, try asking some in depth questions that require more than a few sentences or touch on subject that is a bit contreversial or something you can debate on...
Good luck | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/3/2005 5:29:36 AM | | Lostwords- Ill keep that in mind next time I talk to her. Letting her lead more of the conversation might be just what she needs.I know that she is a photography nut, so Im gessing that I can ask her some stuff on the subject and get her to talk my ear off. I gess we will see... | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/3/2005 11:05:38 AM | alcohol does wonders.. I know, sometimes I'm shy but a few drinkys and I'm talking up a storm. humour does always work, in fact, take her out to a comedy show liek Improv or Yuk Yuk's. A night of good jokes will help to break the ice on converstaion.  | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/4/2005 12:30:09 PM | | Hell in chat rooms im not shy at all,,but in real life---eeeeek! lol What are your gf's interests? What hobbies interest her? Maybe if you learn what she likes,,she'll be open up a bit. Hmm,,,,and regarding the alcohol thing? Wellllll,,some of us shy girls arent so shy anymore after drinking a beer or 3 soooooooooo,,,if you want to wait to have sex like you said,,dont get her drunk. LOL | |
|
| How to get a shy person to open up
Posted: 8/4/2005 12:43:53 PM | Not trying to be rude or anything, but it seems like she is just not that into you.
Possibly she has a bf or husband.
I have a few shy people in my life and usually then need a big push to open up. Like "Well if you don't know what food you want to order, I guess I will do the ordering and you won't like it! So until you speak up I guess it's tabasco sauce and runny eggs".
You would be surprised at how much a shy person opens up when they have to, then you usually cannot shut them up. | |
|
Home
login 
