| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/1/2005 8:24:40 PM | Hey there everyone.
My little girl was diagnosed with Autism 6 months ago. I have read everything that I can think of and tried everything that I have learned but now I need some help. I have run out of ideas for my 3 year old daughter. We still have more testing to be done but I feel that she is very low functioning. Im trying to potty train her, trying to increase her speech, getting her to use a fork and spoon, to be able to dress herself etc. Her independance is improving but with other skills like eye contact, getting things when she wants them and playing with toys. She slaps people including me all the time but im not sure why and its not always to tell me something or to get attention. If you have any ideas, please share them and if you have tips and ideas for things that I have not mentioned or that I will eventually experience, add them in here too, please!!...
Does anyone do anything for autism awareness?
Also, what do you guys do for safety issues.... my daughter is just starting to reach for door handles and once the door is open, she will run. I have a bright red tag with emergancy info on the back to put on her coats and bottons for her to wear.... what else can I do as she gets older...
Thanks in advance for your thoughts...
Take Care!! | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/1/2005 8:35:51 PM | | don;t know much about autism. try putting a chain high up on your door. As far as slapping. 0 tolerance then a time out. My son earned himself a time out before I even got out of bed this morning. He was hitting me and climbing on me so I gave him a time out. The after I said hurting hits people. no more warning you'll go straight to time out. the rest of his day was great. i was shocked | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/1/2005 8:40:13 PM | | My son is autistic, he is 4 almost 5. I just moved from Alabama where he was tested at age 2. They have lots of good programs in al for kids like him, I'm still checking out the programs here in Fl. He had counsolers(excuse my spelling) come to visit him several times a week untill he turned 3 then he went to a special class in an elementary school for kids like him. It was free for autistic kids and there were some normal kids in there for preschool that was helpful for him to be around. He is a good kid but can get upset pretty easily. His biggest problem is that he can't speak much and what he can say isn't very clear. He is potty trained and can cut paper using scissors (which is good for children like him) His autism is more closer to a learning delay so he can pick up on somethings better than others. Look into state programs for children like her, they are usuallly free if the child is evaluated with autism or a learning delay it helps them alot, especially to be around other kids because they can pick up things that way. Go to wal-mart and get some door knob protecters so she can't open the door and just have patiance with her because it can be hard sometimes but it will get better. It just takes a lot more patience than the normal child and a lot of love. Good luck | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/1/2005 9:09:11 PM | | My heart goes out to you.My son is 8 and only now getting diagnosed with Broad spectrum Autism but its been so frustrating getting things in place for him.Just remember that you need time for you also-look for support groups in your area-ask friends for help when you need it.Make sure when Kindergarden starts that the school is aware of your child's needs and they will get an aide, but do it well in advance as it takes a while.Call all the local child services agencies and see what benefits and stuff you can access.Here in Canada u can access free occassional respite care ie childcare, counselling etc.I don't know what equivalent there is around your home town but worth checking into.Good luck to you | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/1/2005 9:29:14 PM | i know little too but perhaps this might help.
full time daycare is very important. inquire about subsidies from the goverment. At least 1 daycare in you area should cater to special needs children. Speech theraphy is a must. the effort that you invest in her right now will have a great impact for the rest of her life. The first 5 years are so important!!The most important thing is for you not to give in to the antisocial aspects of the symdrome. get her to talk,eye contact and interact just like everybody else .even if it takes a lot of kicking and screaming. Acomplishments that may seem insignificant to most treat them for what they really are to your child;significant progress. GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 12:10:25 AM | Congrats, you have one of the worst diagnosis to deal with in the world... 3 years is normally when a diagnosis can be made for the autism spectrum disorders.
http://www.autism-resources.com/
I know that Canada has an agencies for special needs children, now that you have an official diagnosis you need to get in contact with them ASAP and get things moving so that you can get services. I'm not familiar with what services would be offered for your region, but it's still important to get the ball going. One thing they might offer is a behavioral assessment and that will be pretty important so that you know how you can better deal with your child. Punishments/discipline/teaching is a whole new ball game when you are dealing with an Autistic person.
In regards to discipline, generally speaking, behavioral interventions like time-outs overall work best though. You have to be careful with more physical methods as it oftentimes increases and reinforces the negative behaviors, they do not grasp things the same as not-diagnosed-with-anything children (if at all).
Generally the slapping is due to the frustration of not being able to communicate. This goes back to getting some help, assessments and a behavioral evaluation and intervention to help you understand how they think, why they stim, why they don't grasp concepts and relate to people, etc.
For the doors, get chains and you can get cheap alarms that will go off when you open the door. I have a medic-alert bracet that I put on my son's shoes (since he won't wear it on his arm yet).
If they haven't givin you the info as to what agency to contact for intervention yet, let me know and I'll try and find out where it is for your region. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 12:42:51 AM | Greetings Kingstongirl80,
Welcome to the new world..... As a recent survey has discovered, 1 in every 166 births is on the autism scale; and if you have one autistic child, that equation changes to 1 in 15.
I married a woman who has an autistic son, he was 3 in 1990 when we married. When he was 10 in 1997 we had our own son who in 1999 was also diagnosed with autism. We separated and divorced between 2/03 and 2/04 because of some grave issues that I do not want to get into. So, to tell you from experience, it is a very different life than your family or friends can ever realize, let alone any legal authority to have any kind of clarity on what your day might be like.
1.) degree of self awareness is far different than most people can fathom. They seem to the masses that they have no fear; but if you look at life through their eyes, the fear involved is in what others perceive and not what they know because they dance to a different beat.
2.) Potty training can be such a misguided purpose. All you can do is the same thing with the same supportive measures everytime she tries and listens to do as you ask to go potty; but you may have her in diapers of some sort until she is in grade school. To be blunt, if you keep a structured schedule for her to try to go to the bathroom, she will understand that is a scheduled thing to do (I had a timer set so that my son would know when it was time to try to go in the toliet).
3.) Hitting or slapping. This is a way of communication and she is getting frustrated because she can't communicate with people. Be thankful that she is trying and not just staring out the window.
4.) Please understand that she will grow when it is right for her and may not be right for everyone else. She will probably need help dressing until she is in middle school.
5.) Eating with utensels. Spoon or fork alone is a step in the right direction. Do not try to make it so important because that will shut her down for a while.
6.) Playing with toys. Understand that what you like or think you would like to play with may not be in her scope of likeable. She will not play with things that she doesn't like or understand.
7.) Self esteem is a strong key to go along with early intervention. Speach, Occupational Therapy, and life studies go a long way if your child is motavated to feel good about what they are doing.
I hope that this is a help to get you started. I try to see things through the eyes of my son and not through my eyes.
HmmmmTasty | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 6:24:12 AM | | Kingstongirl80 - you've been given some great advice. I have a 3 1/2 year old son who was diagnosed with Aspergers so I'm familiar with your situation. If you ever need to chat or vent, message me and I'll help out any way I can. Take care and know that you're not alone. Big hugs girl! | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 6:59:01 AM | Kingston: Keep searching for advice/knowledge. That's half the battle-education. I too was going to suggest the door handle covers-used them in my classroom. IM me with questions or just to chat-
Contact your local school district-she should be in school at least part of the day (at least in Michigan we do) Teachers and staff deal with all the issues you are talking about daily--they can help you do many things at home that they do--early intervention is the key--also they would love to have a parent who wants to be involved--trust me-there are so few who do come to school--whole nother forum but not the place
Contact the autism society and find a local chapter
Make time for you--you getting run down only hurts her--ever hear of the question: If the plane you are on is going down and there is only one oxygen mask-do you give it to yourself or your child? Well, I think all of us would say our child-actually you need to give yourself the mask first--if you pass out-who gives the mask to your child.
Hang in there-like I said IM me anytime or email me. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:43:28 AM | My 15 year old son, who is a technical and computer genius, was diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder, (Austism Spectrum Disorder) when he was 13. Before that we had a mutitude of diagnoses, but I never gave up trying to convince people like the specialists that I was the parent, and I saw something wrong!!!
It can be hard to deal with, and there will be days where you just want to put your head down and cry~but it does get better.  PLEASE send me a message and I will send you the resources I have for Ontario, and some other good info. I will give you my email address, cause if I am not here, I am on there...
 AND TO WHOEVER SAID "0 tolerance-time out for slapping" Do you know what Autism is? Time outs are not going to work, in Autism disorders, especially in profound Autism where the child is non verbal, they're communicating! If the child cannot tell you, "help me, I need something to eat", a basic need for living, how is he/she going to understand being disciplined? Granted, it's not an acceptable way for you and I to communicate, but that is HOW some children communicate anger, frustration, happiness, etc. Apparently, you do not have an Autistic child, and if you do, someone should notify CPS to give you effective parenting skills.  | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:32:04 AM | Apparently there is some new research being done about autism and it's affects on people some ties to peptides in milk and such. I would contact your local University and start there they may be able to guide you in the right direction. Also I remember some correlation between the stomach and the mind mentioned but am not quite sure of who did the research or where. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful but if you find the info I would like to hear more. Good luck in your search and best wishes and blessings to you.
Dude..... | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 9:40:58 AM | My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder a few years ago (he is now 6)....the only thing I can say is read, read, read. You need to be at least as educated on Autism as your doctors are, so that you are empowered to make decisions on behalf of your son. A hard thing for me to learn is that you could take your child to five different doctors and they would all tell you five different things. If you are not educated on the issues yourself -- particularly when your child begins moving through the school system -- he will get lost and you will be frustrated.
Aspen Publishing (not sure of their website, but you can Google it) has a collection of books on Autistic Spectrum disorders -- some of their books are great just for play therapy/ot ideas you can do at home, and others deal with issues in school, at the playground, dealing with doctors, etc.
Did I say read, read, read already? Really...like GI Joe said "knowing is half the battle". Good luck to you and your little one. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 10:00:49 AM |
Apparently there is some new research being done about autism
Well, thats why I said it is one of the worst dx's in the world to get. There are a ton of theories and very militant camps as to what may cause and how to treat (I think Manage is the better word) autism. Some believe it is a gut processing problem (casien/glutton), some swear its the vaccines, new research showing a possible gene defect, possible but unidentified brain growth problem. In a nutshell, nobody knows shit, everybody has an idea as to how to manage it and sell you a ton of stuff do to so. Some management techniques work for some, and nothing is consistant. Diet management works for some, not for others. Some people are intense in behavioral management and are happy with it, others it doesn't do a thing for makes matters worse. Self education and knowledge of you're own child are going to be you're best friends.
There are several autism lists, it is good to get in an email group especially when first starting just to learn more and get more perspectives (but due to all the variances in the effects and management techniques, it is sometimes very frustrating initially). | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/2/2005 3:27:22 PM | I don't know if this will be of any help, but my oldest son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivy disorder when he was very young and some of the characteristics are very similar to Autism at that age. A friend of mine has a son the same age as mine who has sever Autism.
Over the years we were able to compare notes...and both found the book "1-2-3 Magic" a wonderful resource for teaching children with these difficulties. Later it became a great use with my three younger children as well.
As for putting a chain up high on your door to prevent your child from "escaping"...I tried that...and my very resourceful son just pulled a chair over when I wasn't looking...and out he went.
The good news in my situation is that through behaviorial training and extreme persistence on my part (along with Ritalin for a few years)...my son now functions at nearly the same level as all other kids his age. He hasn't taken "medication" for nearly two years and is entering Grade 10 this fall.
I wish you luck...and suggest that you do a search on Google for some parents resources. Remeber to take some time for yourself each day... | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/3/2005 5:16:40 PM | Thank you everyone for all your help.
I have done so much reading on Autism since December (my mind is like a spunge, just soaking up everything) and I just keep finding the same thing in each reading material. Im also in a college course ironicly, to be trained to work with children like my own and I have used those skills as well but I do find that no matter how many professionals I talk to, the best advice comes from parents with Autistic chilren at home.
I understand that my child's slapping is her communication but I am also trying to get her to do something else rather than slapping me, to communicate because she is fairly strong and it hurts when she slaps (bruises) and she also can't go her entire life slapping people because she is frustrated. I do take her to speech therapy, sometimes it seems like its working but other times i feel that its a waste of time but Im not giving up.
for those of you who have autistic children, there is a great web site that has autism awareness buttons, pens and pins, car magnets etc. It is housed in the USA and its called buttonsandmore.com. I just ordered pins and a tag to write emergancy info on, for my child's coat in case she is ever found alone.
Here in Ontario, we have such LONG!!!! waiting lists and it takes FOREVER!!!! to get help. I have been trying to get help since September of last year but she is still being sent for test after test and just now being put on waiting lists for behaviour programs (IBI/ABA).
Right now I am dealing with this 100% all on my own. My child's father is a complete idiot, he isn't much of a parent, more like a friend if you know what I mean. The only other family member that I have is my mother but my child is even too much for her to handle at times for me to have a break. No one has really told me about any funding or respite care until recently but I am still in the application process so it too will be months before i get any help.
Thank you again for everything and keep the suggestions coming. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/3/2005 7:10:32 PM | Something else for you-information wise-have you applied for the child disability tax credit? yOu can pick up the forms from any tax preparer or government of Canada.Since your child is classed with the autism it gives you the additional income and also opens the doors for other funding.
Keep us posted and hang in there! | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/4/2005 4:26:19 AM | I have found people with autism respond very negatively to loud noises. A quiet environment has always worked best. Often when there is too much stimuli, I find many will strike out...often at themselves. Another important thing is routine. Getting a routine with them and sticking to it TO THE LETTER. More often than not, when I find someone with autism having difficulty, it'll be because there is something not right in the environment.
You'll learn all of this for yourself...just want to wish you the best of luck in finding good resources...they are out there. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/4/2005 4:30:17 AM | Goodness...I almost forgot something very important.
Make sure your child gets a developmental disability diagnosis. I work on a psych ward, and can tell you there's a lot of 'extra money' in Canada at your disposal if your child has a developmental disability. However...without the diagnosis, you can be limited with funding, and many organizations, such as the Association for Community Living want to see that diagnosis before the age of 16...otherwise you'll have a big problem convincing them that your child qualifies for their services. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/4/2005 5:22:40 AM | Very true Victor about the money issue and the tax breaks available.
Also the agency that runs Family Support for children with disbilities can provide a fountain of information.
My son also has the problem with noises and loud crowded places-its just way to much for him.He just turned 8 and its so hard for him even at school in a classroom or even going to a movie theatre.
To everyone out there thats dealing with this -hang in there! You are your child's best advocate-do what feels right in your heart and remember, only you know your child like nobody else does. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/11/2005 4:43:52 PM | | I have a seven year-old son with autism. I think the most difficult thing about raising a child with autism, is that no one understands autism. Autism is an invisible disability and people expect our children to be normal becuase they appear normal. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/11/2005 6:12:49 PM | Hi Kingston,
You have gotten excellent advice. I live in NY, my daughter is 17 and she was diagnosed at 2. She has been attending a school for Austic people since she was 5. She has come so far, I never believed she would. We believe in ABA, Applied Behavioral Analysis.. One on one, positive reinforcement. It has helped her so much. She has some language, alot more than she is willing to use. She understands more than she can give back.Wow... I can sit here and tell you so many things going through my head but one thing first off.. your daughter is a baby. Lots of things, like potty training and eating with a fork do come with maturity, if you teach her. I do alot of work with parents and so many are only interested in the ABC'S and the 123's. But I believe everyday living skills are SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT. I have kissed her,and was affecionate with her,sometimes even when she didn't want it and she is so affectionate. My daughter eats with a fork, uses a knife, can bathe herself, takes care of her period herself, washes dishes, feeds the dogs, sets the table and can do laundry. She can't cross the street by herself but she can do some vocational work with her school. She is learning to type, and works in the local college busing tables in the cafeteria. I would say on a scale of 1-10.. 10 being lowest functioning, she is an 7.5-8. But I set the tone for how people treated her, I take her everywhere with us. She is a member of our family. And she knows we accept her for who is she. I teach her to say please and Thank you and to use a napkin because these things are important to live in the world. I don't care if she isn't a doctor, a lawyer or an indian cheif. I just want her to be happy and have quality of life. I raise $ mostly for her school and I tell people don't stare just ask and I will try and educate you about this.Some people are just ignorant others really want to learn so they can interact with her. Just keep the doors locked all the time.
Hang in there, it is hard on you, on your marriage, and people really don't understand what we live with. But remember they can learn, and so much comes with maturity and age. And every little thing they do is a miracle and you won't take any of all those special moments for granted when they happen. Oh and 1 more thing.... Laughter! Sometimes my daughter is really funny with the goofy things she does. People are overly sensitive and afraid to laugh,
but sometimes it is funny and laughter does help. I hope I was helpful.. write me any time you want.
Take Care
MsAngelLuva
Angel Luva | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/27/2005 11:17:08 PM | | The biggest thing I would say is patience. Learn to pick your battles or YOU WILL get burned out. My son is classified "at risk". I don't know how you guys got a diagonis so soon but I am told that doctor's won't diagnose him until he is six. Maybe it only my state. Anyway, autism has many levels and some of the characteristics that I know is that they work better by themselves, are impulsive, and the scariest part to me is that they can develop epilepsy in their teen years. It is also important that you don't pay attention to ignorant critics. as you learn more about autism and your child as an individual, you will know what is best for your daughter. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 12:05:28 AM |
I don't know how you guys got a diagonis so soon but I am told that doctor's won't diagnose him until he is six
Egads girl, where are you getting your info from? Have you seen a pediatric specialist? They can make a diagnosis by 2-3 years old. It is important to get that diagnosis if it is applicable because they you can get involved with the agency for the state that provides services and get early intervention going.
No, Autistics are not prone to epilepsy at any stage in life. There might be other circumstances, but not just because of autism. | |
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| AUTISM..... Tell me anything!!!!!
Posted: 8/28/2005 3:15:01 AM | My Autistics daughter is almost 11. Getting her in school when she was 3 was a great help.
The only thing I can say is day by day. lock the door high up. I use to have a leash for her.
I had all kinds of test done. I was happiest when I stopped all the test and just let her be her. She has slowy been grow out of, I gusses you could call it that.
She is the best person I have ever known. So what if she barks at eggs in the store. Atleast she is having fun. | |
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