| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/1/2005 11:20:26 PM | | Yo i was just wondering.. i'm divorced and have 2 boys 1 mine the other doesent know he's not mine but i claim him i've been his dad since he was born. anywho is there any help for us guys who pay child support cuz it really eats up my check and doesnt leave enough for a person to live on.. | |
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| guys who pay there child support
Posted: 8/2/2005 9:14:11 AM | Shared custody 50/50 works well for some then the support is based on the combined income and balanced to the current guidelines is my understanding. Men usually still pay because we tend to earn more than women.
Dude..... | |
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 8/2/2005 1:11:08 PM | If its really out of control you may be able to file for a review based on hardship and see if they can modify it. I know in some cases the amount can be absurd.
That being said... you can work 3 jobs if you have to- a single mother cannot. If she has your children majority of the time (ie you see them every other weekend or something) then I think you should be the one forced to shoulder that financial burden. Someone has to pick up the slack. I dont know enough about your situation to judge if its you or her... but thats something to think about. Whoever isnt spending the majority of the time with the children has the capacity to be earning more.
That being said, I commend you for being someone who steps up and takes responsibility. Many guys just run and dont pay at all. It is nice to see that you are exploring your options while still contributing to your childrens financial needs.
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 8/2/2005 1:12:02 PM | | Not to mention you would have a much easier time going to school or trade programs to increase your earning power. | |
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 8/2/2005 1:12:40 PM | | Yes, I have to agree, I commend you and am sorry you are so strapped. I've never seen not even a dime for my boys. I've had to step it up a notch and have a second job, but its all good. My boys know what's up and I know the rewards are waiting for me when they are all grown up! LOVE IT!!! | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 4:25:21 PM | | i pay $800 a month man i know what you mean on this one eats up everything and then you're the one who lives off noodles and cereal lol......i personaly think that we should at least be able to get a tax break outta it claim or kids as dependants due to the fact that they do depend on our income.. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 4:56:50 PM | You do, if you go to court and ask for it.
My sons father pays 193/ mo. (hes actually paid about 3 times in 2 1/2 yrs) but he still has a right to the tax credit. Our agreement states that IF he is current on his child support he has the right to claim our son in odd years. (2005, 2007, 2009, 2011....)
You have to know what youre entitled to and fight for it. The only reason he got it was because his father told him to ask. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 5:18:38 PM | | still not right it should be every year why do you need to alternate??? its really not fair for men at all... | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 5:33:33 PM | Because nearly 100% of my income goes to support the child. While maybe 25% of yours does. I pay for everything!
I fully believe that fathers are taken advantage of by the courts. However, you have to own your part in providing for the child. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 5:42:28 PM | | if you pay for everything then wheres my"25%"going to?? cides i pay more like 62% and the only reason you pay for everything is cause you have them full time.. but that is part of being a parent and if i am paying child support as well as medical i should be able to claim them every year not alternating years..because my kids depend on my income just like they depend on yours... | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:31:05 PM | My point is - who is paying the majority of the cost. In your situation you may be. Every case is different.
In my case, his dad is ordered to pay 193/mo, which he does not pay. Even if he did pay it- whats $200 when it comes to rent, food, diapers, daycare, transportation, medical, clothes, school supplies.....etc.....
It wasnt aimed at you, I know your situation is different then mine. But I think you should look at it from the whole point. If you pay a large amount and spend a lot of physical time with the kids, then its probably not fair.
My motto is, dont submit a complaint without a suggestion. Pointless complaining does nothing. If you dont like your situation then hire a lawyer and make your case in court. Legal Aid society can represent you for almost nothing if you are that broke. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/2/2005 10:08:06 PM | Most guys do not pay....My youngest daughters father is God who knows where, and hasn't tried to see her since she was a cpl months old before he disappeared on his last crystal run I knew of. She is almost four.
However, my oldest daughter's father had problems at first. But, he grew up, and now he is an awesome dad. They have hope, if their priorities are in order. In fact my ex husband(on here he is donjuaninal ladies ) can be my best friend. We are too diffrent to be more than friends, but, he loves his child, and dispite our distance, he makes every effort to see our beautiful daughter. So, I guess I have a 50/50 opinion. Some can be dads, and some can be total a$$holes to their child.
Payment wise I get 187 for one child, and he doesnt see her often enough to do the tax credits or so we were told, I am sorry I couldn't be any help for you, but, maybe some single mom will read what I wrote and it will help | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 11:58:52 AM | i could go back to court and junk but i've had enough of that crap. me and there mom get along again and have built a freindship back witch i think is good. i coulnt live without seeing my kids and i can go pick them up or just see them whenever i want too. I wished i lived closer but my life has actually gotten better since my divorce. i have managed to get my own place now its not much too look at but its mine. i just miss living as a family.
anyway whatever ..... | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 12:07:26 PM | 800.00 dollars a month for two kids. WOW!
400.00 a month for each kid.
That is not to bad.
So...9,600.00 a year is 50% of taking care of a child.
Damn! I need to figure out how to raise my child on the other 9,600.00 a year.
In my state 400.00 a month does not even pay for full time day care.
If they are in school and the Mother works it still only pay's for less then half.
So the fact that we provide the roof over there head more than 50% of the time, the clothing, the school supplies, the field trips, the B-day presents the water the electric.
The co-pays on Doctor visits.
WOW! LET ME TELL YOU.
9,600. a YEAR is rough.
So glad my childs Dad has never questioned paying support. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 12:25:54 PM | | Im wasent questioning paying child support i was just curous if there was any help for dads when they might get in a tight spot basically...i know my ex has a hard time too and i will help her as much as i can. they are my children... | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 2:29:26 PM | Well...
If you had the kids, theoretically, you'd be in the same bind anyway...because that money you're spending on child support would be spent on the children anyway. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 3:45:51 PM | exavier.... you read my mind.
Glad to know I am not alone in my thoughts on this.
I'm not trying to be unsympathetic here... but really... a little child support is nothing in relation to what a single parent does 24 hours a day. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 4:27:13 PM | | Well first of all I commend you to taking care of a child that is not yours-- alot of men wouldnt-- I am just the opposite-- I took very little from my ex thinking he would help out more- and cause he told me if I did take him to court he would leave and move back home--which is 18 hours a away. I am a single mom have my kids 6 days a wk get $620 a month for both --I let him have everything but the stuff I could put in my van, even the house-- I struggle and I think he is doing very well. So what do u do when the women cant live or do anything-- me -- I protect myself and move on-- one day I will have the world in my hand-- but right now I have something better-- my teenagers and all the love they can give me and the support. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 6:42:59 PM | | there is a group here called MAD....men against discrimination. they help single dads. I don't know what all they do but you might want to see if they have a chapter in your area. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 10:39:10 PM | | I feel that single dads are the most evident proof that women get away with more than a man can.. I mean that a woman can just walk her bootyinto a hospital and hand a baby to a nurse and worry/pay no more! Wonder what will happen the day a man does this. However, those women who collect the child support are as equal to the single fathers who raise their own. Those women who aren't with their kids & their father are just like dead-beat moms, if you've EVER heard the term before. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/3/2005 11:17:35 PM | | i pay child support out of court. me and mommy just agree on an amount, i pay her wayyy more than what the court would make me pay. guys who dont pay child support are losers, but for the ones that do there is help, not too sure exactly which specific agency but contact an attorney. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/4/2005 7:28:39 PM | | I don't think it is right that fathers who pay child support can claim the kids for taxes. that just means that they are getting the money back that they pay and taking it way from the mothers. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/4/2005 7:41:17 PM | So wolvie... I am a deadbeat mom because I chose to end a physically and emotionally abusive relationship?
Am I understanding that correctly? | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 8/4/2005 8:08:58 PM | Ok, I haven't ever given my children up, but, however, being a single mother I have wondered if perhaps it would have been better for them. It is hard, and no one should judge a woman for doing so. It is the hardest thing to even let the thought cross your mind. To actually have the guts to do it, for your child takes a lot. That is not a dead beat mom!
A dead beat mom, I have known women who didn't care, one of my exes has two gorgeous daughters, but, their mom was a crank head. She didn't show up when she was suppose too, drugs and men come first. There is a diffrence in right and wrong, and this way was wrong.
As for the question about help for the good dads, often social services can help, say you get behind amonth, you are suppose to pay them back bt, my ex used the service, before he decided it would be easier to have taken out of his check. And I only get 187.00 a month period for one child. My baby's dad disappeared, and I do not get one cent for her. Being a single parent is the hardest job in the world.
But, it has to be hard on the good fathers, look at what they miss out on.
Just, don't judge a women for giving a child up for adoption until you know the situation. People are so rightous about abortions, why gripe about adoption too. Don't take every option a woman has away. | |
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