| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/2/2005 5:20:54 PM | I have a 8 year old son whom I have been raising for 5 years on my own. She doesnt pay child support, doesnt call to say hi or how is he doing, doesnt see him regularly as she could and they have no bond together. How can a mom be so horrible?
[subject unCAPPED. Please don't shout. /xander] | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/2/2005 6:01:31 PM | Some people don't appreciate what they have
Hug your son extra tight and if he asks about why she left, tell him it's her loss, she turned her back on a special boy. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/2/2005 6:13:12 PM | | I don't know what to say when my kids ask for mom because I don't believe she wants to be in their life and it hurts to think that way, but I don't want to tell tehm mom will see them if she has no intention to. She has already said she is giving me full custody which I couldn't believe, I expected her to say "what am I doing, I'm a mom" but at least i can sleep at night | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/7/2005 10:24:35 AM | hey guys
man i feel u. How can they sleep at night?? She knows im here, with him, pretty lonely, struggling at times...w/no outside help...and she prefers to continue partying...leaves notes on my door saying she misses him..but doesnt call....
I guess whats so bad is wasnt like that b4...we had a beatiful relationship..and she just recently had a mental breakdown and wanted to party with anew group of friends and just forget about her family...she says its just something she has to do right now, and is sorry to leave me with the full responsiblity but that she knows hes well taken care of and she doesnt konw what to do...
like you said, i would think she'd wake up, realize wtf she's doing, and come to own up to her responsiblities...but i guess thats what happens when people get together very young, dont sow their wild oats, and then have a kid....weird but hey what can we do? raise our kids the best we can and love the hell out of them.. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/7/2005 11:51:09 AM | | I'm in the same boat here. I'm raising 3 kids on my own and working fulltime as well. Their mom left our home to party it up, even spent some time living in her car because she spent her money at the bar. A month later she came back to reclaim "what was hers". (Meaning the kids.) I told her to get out and she started to get violent, kicking the kids toys around the house untill one narrowly missed the head of my youngest. This resulted in a supervision order being placed on her by childrens aid. The stupid thing is that I went for sole-custody in court, but the judge granted joint with me as the primary parent. The judge (a woman), said she saw no reason for me to have sole, even after me taking care of these guys on my own for 2 years! Retarded! Oh yeah, she was ordered to pay support...LOL! What have I seen? $135 total for all this time. Thats the legal system for you. Now, I'm at the point where I have to move on and deal with things the way they are...in the interest of having a life of my own. Deadbeat moms are a reality, thats for sure. Any so-called parents that don't support their kids are just plain, flat out f-ing losers! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/7/2005 6:33:03 PM | Hey,
I have 2 daughters 9 & 12 thier mom lives localy, but does not see them regularly or on any kind of schedule, they have had some real self esteem issues arround that. Support? Financially? I lay awake at night dreaming of it, but thats all it is dreaming. Anyway some people just don't have the conviction, dedication, whatever it is in thier make up. You just do the best you can and run dammage controll. I make sure my girls know every day that they are smart, beautiful, good, deserving, and most of all that I love them more than anything. You can only do this and wait for them to mature enough to figure out that it's not them, it's her that has the problem. Good luck bro | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/7/2005 6:58:33 PM | | Wow I am totally blown away by the reality of the sheer number of women that walk away from their man and their children. I'm aghast and simply cannot relate to that at all. Children need their mama's but you know you guys, be the best dad you can and it's so hard and you do have to sacrifice so much, sometimes you got to be alone a lot so that those children come first and are not exposed to the wrong type of people. But life will reward you for that and as long as your children do not hear you speak ill of their (deadbeat) mother's, they will hold you in the highest regard - believe me they will. It's hard enough on them that they mum walked away but to hear negative comments can really screw a kid up inside. I mean think of it this way, they are one-half that woman and if we say that woman is a f'up then the children is at risk of thinking they are a f'up too. A full time single parent dad deserves the utmost of respect, its a tough job. If you can provide them with a decent, loving, good role model of a female figure in their life, they will be okay and if you cannot? just dig your heels in even deeper and know that your goodness and hard work will live on forever in the hearts of your children. As with all important people in your life, make sure your child(ren) hears all the time how wonderful they are, how much joy they give you and your treasure them. Hang in there and please take this in the context it was meant but for a lot of women a single dad is very sexy, very appealing. Keep it up !! Men like you keeps us all straight and balance the old scale of life. xo cindy | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:00:55 PM | My ex is a prime example of deadbeat. She has nothing to do with my son, who is six, and her other two children of different fathers. She does not pay anything, send gifts, call or write.
It's heartbreaking to discuss this with my son who is now at the point where he wants to know and wakes up crying in the middle of the night.
People like that sicken me, male or female. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/8/2005 8:52:55 AM | | i dont know any deadbeat moms, but im sure that theyre out there. i have a deadbeat ex-husband who forced me to take him to court over the lack of paying childsupport. he also refuses to see his own two kids. that was his decision.he thinks he hurting me, but he's really hurting his own children. why is it that some men are so immature and irresponsible? | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/8/2005 8:58:05 AM | | man i hear ya there. my exhusband is the loser of all losers. he pays support only after the 3 months that the fro allows him to miss. then they go after him. he refuses to see his kids . he says that they are all mine now. and if he was to see them, that would only make my life easier, and why would he want to do that? he asked me. LOSER! he's a waste of skin as far as im concerned. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/8/2005 9:58:40 AM | I just want to say - Best Wishes to all the single parents here - but mainly to you single fathers.....
I wish there was some way that men were recognized when they do step up and take on the sole responsibility. All single parents deserve to be acknowledged. It is a very hard job - but for me the payment of my job - isn't any support I could receive - it is going to be the love and respect of my daughter.
Best wishes to all of you !! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/8/2005 9:59:51 PM | I honestly can't believe that mother would not love her child(ren) enough to want to be with them every waking minute of every day; I know I fell in love with my son the very second he came out...It disgusts me that any parent would not love their child(ren) enough to be a vital part of their upbringing and of their lives, period.
My son is a very lucky young man, neither myself or his father are deadbeats, and inspite of the fact that we parted ways before I even knew I was pregnant, we still get along very well for the sake of our son.
However, I do know a girl that actually signed FULL guardianship of her daughter over to her ex-boyfriend's parents - The real kicker, her ex isn't even the child's father! She still lives there, but has better things to do than step up to the plate and raise her own child.
Unfortunately, it's a very sad reality that there are deadbeat parents - I know I hate not having my son around while he is at his Dad's...If I could I would call there once a day just to hear my baby cry...And I know my son's father loves him to pieces...Sometimes both parents can't be together for their own sanity, but why should the child(ren) suffer from it, parents are supposed to be adults after all, right? | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/9/2005 10:18:06 PM | | My ex gf ran off and left me with a 7 mo/ old to raise on my own. Both of her sisters did the same thing and her best friend too. That's 4 women and 10 kids. The last statement I got from one of them was I never liked kids in the first place. It is a selfish attitude that's all it is. | |
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nixx46
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Joined: 7/31/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/10/2005 9:23:28 AM | WOW... didn't realize my ex belonged to a club with sooo many members lol Pays nothing either....
Handshake to all the Dad's here... we're lucky..we see them grow up :)
Nick | |
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Happÿ
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Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 19 | |
| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/10/2005 9:35:18 AM | Unfortunately deadbeat parents are all around us.
What really really gets me is the woman who wins custody just because she is the mother and she doesn't take care of the kids at all. All the witch wanted was to WIN and the poor kids get no real mothering while the father is out in the cold and could be the better parent.
I have witnessed this many times over the years but the more I am on this website, the more I hear about this crap and just can't understand those women. They seem to think it would be better to be a bad mom with the kids than a mother who lets a father raise them.
This is to them "It isn't a game of mom or dad winning. The kids deserve the better-more loving parent. If you don't want to or can't be a real mother then let him have them and the kids will be the winners as they should". | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/10/2005 10:28:45 AM | Wow, I just don't get that attitude. Kudos to all you guys that step up to the plate and take care of your kids. My sister gave custody of her son to his dad. She had a serious addiction problem (died of it last October). But she paid child support when she oould work and she always had contact with her boy. They had a good relationship despite her addiction.
I've got a deadbeat father in my life who never wants to see his kids and then tries to blame it on me that he doesn't see them. :sigh: In the end the deadbeats are the ones losing out...but the kids get hurt. Why can't these people just grow up?!?! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/10/2005 10:58:18 AM | I know a few of them. I know a few who would be as well if the courts didn't just hand them the kids without actually finding out if the father was the better parent. Oh well.
Hell, my own mother was a deadbeat mom. My grandmother cut her a check for $2000 (not that my mom needed an excuse to take off) when I was about two or three years old and said "Don't come back" so she didn't. Oh well. She'd have made a crappy mother anyway now that I've gotten to know her. She's an idiot. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/10/2005 12:40:57 PM | I know as many dead beat moms as I do dads. My definition is pretty extensive on that score. To me, a dead beat is someone who doesn't pay child support or is someone who 'hides' income so they can pay less. A dead beat can be someone who receives child support but decides not to spend every penny of that money on the kids. A dead beat can be someone who is not there for the kids...someone could even have partial custody of their kids but if they don't spend time with them...then they're still a dead beat in my books.
Any thoughts? | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/10/2005 2:59:27 PM | | My ex is a deadbat also! She walked out six years ago, she's only 2 1/2 years behind on support payments, but gets mad if I don't have them call her daily. I leave that up to them. As they have grown up(they're now 15 and 13) they have discovered what she is, and as was mentioned in another post above, I haven't been the bad guy speaking ugly about her! She would be a good psych study case, she has married a man who is an eerily similar to her stepdad(who allegedly abused her sexually for 15 years) in looks and behavior. He even sounds just like him!! Any the rewards are worth every sacrifice I've had to make and I would gladly make each one again! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/11/2005 1:00:11 PM | | Mom's can be horrible just like any other human being can be!! As parent's all should easily identify that it's not exactly an easy or stress free job especially when dealing with mental illness, addictions (your own or your partners), financial instability, disabilities, work, daycare or break downs in relationships.. People seem to think that Mom's should be superhuman or something... & a whole helluva a lot of us prove that we are.. I think it's great that there's single dads out there now & it's acceptable for a mom to leave or abandon a situation she just can't cope with...... the same way the weak dads could just step away b4.. Why expect someone not capable of raising children to hinder their childs experience as a child or put them in harms way??? My X is a good father .....finally.. Took a lot but he's finally starting to come around..(knock on wood) Give them a bit of time.. If they'd be a healthy readdition to your childs life maybe help support them with sum of their issues?? instead of just blaming everything on them??? Think of what helped drive them to the desperation to abandon their own!! If theyre fit they may well beat their issues & clue in as to what their priorities really are!! I Went through Hell but why make things harder on either parent or the children It just digs the hole a little deeper... Just be grateful that they were left with you instead of the ministry or in bad situations that could scar them for life.. They have a loving parent ...YOU....& most of the time that's enough................................................. Children are truly a gift be thankful for them.. | |
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