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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:10:03 PM | | Okay I have bi-polar disorder and paranoia, this does not mean I am a psycho. This means two things, now don't laugh. Bi-polar disorder a disorder that makes me aware of other peoples emotional state, I sorta have a way of knowing exactly what you feel, I like read your emotions even if you try to hide it. So what people confuse as an overactive emotional condition, is them reading you like a psychic. So yea they know how you feel about things, especially previous relationships, so I know when you are at an in-between-guy stage of a break-up. Now paranoia is me worring about things before they happen, like sorta worrying about if I should throw out these jeans before I buy another pair. Sorta like looking at your own future, no I don't do palms. I'm just sensitive, so call me a sissy or whatever, I just know myself and people around me. So what I want to know is should I tell people about these two problems areas that I have. | |
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Teaps
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Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 2 | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:16:00 PM | | Thanks, I thought that was the route to take, I even asked my parents and they both agree that I should be open about the person that I am. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:16:47 PM | Rule of thumb, be honest..You may not want to tell them on the first date, etc..There is always a time and place but don't wait til you are married and then say of honey by the way...
You aren't a sissy, so don't put yourself down... | |
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Teaps
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Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:18:31 PM | | If your proud of who you are, then why let some low life chick who wont accept you for you bring you down cause ur different, and not really so different, I wish i had Bi-polar disease, then i could know what a woman wants in the way I act at any 1 moment. To add in a bit of humor, It must suck when u are around a woman at "that time of month" cause holy mood swings batman! | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 7:58:00 PM | | yea time of the month stinks, but knowing exactly when to touch someone, exactly when people want to kiss you, or lust for you. Knowing these things is really crazy, I know I'm not a sissy, and lots of people have these abilities. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:01:56 PM | bro your not a psycho or anything your still a human being with a gift or something. i have a learning disability that causes me to sometimes not understand things unless explained a 2nd time and i'm very poor at math and certain things but if someone can't understand that or a girl calls me weird or a freak i brush it off because a woman who can't accept someone for who they are or just goes for looks is gonna lead one very lonely life. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:02:33 PM | Bi-polar disorder a disorder that makes me aware of other peoples emotional state, I sorta have a way of knowing exactly what you feel, I like read your emotions even if you try to hide it. So what people confuse as an overactive emotional condition, is them reading you like a psychic.
If this is your definition of bipolar disorder, then I suggest you read more about it and perhaps speak with your psychiatrist.
Bipolar illness was formerly known as "manic depressive" illness..and has differing degrees but the most noticeable symptoms are intermittend cycles of mania (feeling invicible, like you can read someone's mind...or in your case, emotions...believing you have special powers and abilities) and severe depression (feeling like life has no meaning, long periods of isolation...deep moods...reality sets in). Sufferers tend to have difficulty sleeping (during manic cycles they can go days without sleep as they don't feel they need it) , have occasional auditory hallucinations and especially sensory hallucinations (feeling like there is a presence in your room).
With all due respect, I felt it was important that I at least summarize some of the key points about this mental illness and that although many bipolars "believe" they can read emotions/minds they cannot. They are however, convinced of it. It's usually not too difficult to tell if someone is happy/sad/mad/glad by their body language and facial expressions...often you will guess correctly...that does not determine any kind of supernatural ability to read someone's feelings like a book.
I hope this hasn't offended you but I think it's important that the understanding of this illness be outlined so there is no confusion here.
Whether you are psychic or not is beyond my comprhension and so that is possible but I can't comment on that aspect...there is much to be learned about claims of psychic phenomena. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:08:52 PM | | its as though you don't see yourself as being disabled, which is good but you are one of the few.............in the DSM, bipolar (manic depression, etc) is under the broader heading of 'psychosis' (if i'm not mistaken), but this may not be a fair designation to every single one who has it..........nonetheless, it disables many, and you need to be forthcoming, BUT i can't see why you can't hook up with others such as yourself!......its easier to network thru the net these days! | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:39:01 PM | Dear Blaskist,
You seem to have me confused with the SOCIALPATH.... that person seems to not be able to know their own emotions and hence forth they decide that they are whatever and are disillusional as you seem to be, since whenever I write something about what I know about you seem to always tell me I don't know JACK. See Socialpath above definition, also they seem to "THINK" they know more than everyone else. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 9:44:03 PM | Have you been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder?
Although bi-polar can have the symptoms you say, another possibility could be BPD the acronym stands for Borderline Personality Disorder.
If you have not been diagnosed I suggest seeing a doctor and getting properly diagnosed and get meds and therapy to help you deal with the condition. Best of luck mental disorders although bothersome are treatable if you are willing.
Dude..... | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 8/2/2005 11:00:47 PM | Hi,my name is Scotti.I have been sick with brittle diabetes(Type one,adult onset back in 85) for about 25 years now.I prick my skin for blood draws 6 to 8 times a day,and usually do 3 to 4 shots of insulin a day to try and keep it in somewhat normal control.It's hard,let me tell you,but i refuse pity or sympathy.It's just something i have to live with and i accept it.The Docs try to keep under control
(and do they're best).But i realize no one can take care of it but me.It's like having a wild child,controlling your every move and you have to look after it every wakeing moment of the day..Before i had it "I was a playa" to the max.But since i've had it,I've learned to accept it and that i'm not going to let beat me out of what precious life i have left here,I always try and that is what keeps me living everyday to the fullest.I may not drink or do rec drugs anymore(sometimes i wish i was still 20 and do all that crazy sh$t i did back then,But i pay a heavy price if i decide to do it nowadays).I still go to clubs and dance my azz off and don't let the disease get to me.
I also suffer from PTSD,Bi-Polar and Seizure Disorders and take alot of
pharmecutical drugs that usually just make me sleepy and more depressed because i'm to tired alot to even get out of bed like today.But all n' all life is good.I recently rescued a cat from the shelter and he is/was totally worth the 25 bills i had to pay for the shots and tags etc.We're great pals.
So i guess what i'm trying to say is that people like us with dissabilties,should always look forward to the next (second,minute,hour, or day of your life man),Don't give up here or on any other dating service you may be on and don't hide or be afraid to tell the truth about yourself,and i mean everything.Your girl will come to you.I have learned that,over the years,If a woman shows interest or wants you,she'll come knockin'.In the meantime if you don't already have one,grab yourself a pet,whatever one you like,They're very theraputic and my cat has helped my anger management issues out immensly.Just a suggestion.There are other sights for us also,Deaf women,girls with multiple personality disorders and even women who are amputee's websites.They all want to hear from you bro,no lie,Becausethey're all going through the same rituals that we are.I wish you the best of luck here and if i can ever be of assistance to you,feel free to e-mail me and i'll try my best to make life a little more calm for you.Being stressed out totally sucks.I know,i live it everyday day.Be Cool.Don't mean to preach.Just telling you what i've expierenced,Later.
The Reverend,lol. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:17:20 AM | I've been reading the many different threads on this base subject and have enjoyed reading the different views and opinions.
There are a few quotes I'd like to share that I think people need to remember when looking at any potential mate or even making new friends.
To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "you cannot judge someone simply by the color of their skin or the condition of their body. You must judge the person by the content of their
character. "
"The key here is to realize that everyone is different, and a disability (or lack thereof) is simply a condition of the body, not the full measure of the man or the woman."
"that a person is only as disabled as you let them be and inside that person is someone whom isn't disabled and is worth getting to know."
"Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you're needed by someone." Martina Navratilova
My 2 cents... | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 11/23/2006 1:34:07 PM | Alright, I am going to have to agree with a few other posts....bipolar is NOT something that causes you to read minds. If you are psychic, hey thats nice...but its not from being bipolar.
I think perhaps you mean you are very good at reading people, I am too...then again, I am also bipolar.
Now, I had an ex who was bipolar, and a few other things....she would go on and on about being able to do the same thing that you speak of, yet she NEVER knew how I felt, lol.
Bipolar is good at making you feel you can do things you can't. Again I am not saying you aren't psychic, I hear everyone is in one way or another....but I know what you are talking about, and I would just call it being emotionally aware.
Now, telling people this...its a hard thing for me too. Tell them what to expect, etc. If they give ya "the look"....you know, like you have a contagious disease, maybe that person isn't for you, lol.
There are people that will try to understand it, some won't. I make it known as soon as possible, its only right. Plus, if you do...you will know right away if they are willing to be with you or not.
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:12:32 PM | Whatever your disabilities are, I know it is only proper to tell the person whom
you are trying to get involved with, at what point you tell them, would be
important also.
I think you first have to feel comfortable, and feel that this person
will not laugh at you, or go around telling others for the joy of it.
Whatever your problems are, I hope you are seeking medical attention! | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/29/2008 2:04:47 PM | as long as a person is honest with themselves as well as with other people about their disability then there shouldn't be any harm done. i'm sorry but it' s a rotten shame that people are low enough to deprive a person the opportunity to share the love that they have stored away inside.
i'm not asking for pity or anything of the sort but i have a disability....or shall i say a few of them. i was a victim in a car accident back on 11/06 leaving me physically disable. yeah, i'm disable with adhesive capsulitis (frozen shoulder). i finally had surgery with hopes of freeing up my shoulder and have been doing physical therapy at home 3 times a day 7 days a week with hopes to regain the rom with my shoulder but it's not working so i might be this way for the rest of my life. i was also diagnosed with having rsd. to my knowledge that's muscle and nerve damage to the injured joint (area), that's also a lifetime disability. on top of everything i've been going through a lot of depression. depression is something that some people tend to confuse with being depressed. what i've been experiencing is trying to come to reality with everything going on, not being able to use my left arm/shoulder properly, not being able to do what i wanted to do with my life (rebuild my trailer & start/operate my business), household repairs, use my left arm to cook/bake, drive properly with using both hands, personal hair care, the list can go on and on. it kills me inside knowing that i would possibly never be able to live my life again as i once did but what hurts me most is unless people suffering with depression such as myself can cause more damage with being self destructing. i read a lot, write poetry, draw, or just play games on my computer to avoid getting to that point. i know for a fact that i can and will love another again if only given the chance. if everyone gives each other a chance then things would be different for many. to be honest...everyone is self destructing in their own way, they just have a better way of controlling it.
omg, now i know with what i just said, i guess you can say that i really blew my chances on meeting someone and falling in love again. keep in mind, with my disabilities, does that make me a bad person? no! i feel as if it can make me a better person, not better than other people just a better me....that's the same way with others as well.
just be open and honest when talking about your disabilities, it might be hard to talk about it, just practice by talking to a family member if need be. it's not hard for me because i'm open, honest, straight to the point, and very out spoken. there are a lot of people out there that are worse then you and i, don't feel pity for them, feel honored to have them as a friend. it's not our body that makes us a person, it's what's inside...look passed the disability and into the person's eyes, you would see a better person inside. imo | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/29/2008 2:17:51 PM | wow, that was well written country girl, I totally can speak from
experience on this one, as i have listed my disability in my profile
( anxiety attacks, etc) I don't let anxiety bring me down or ruin my moods
though, I'm still a very happy person who fills himself with humor and fun .
I don't go around all moody, and depressed, I just make the best of it,
and compared to 5 years ago, I've really come a long way improving myself!!!
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/29/2008 2:19:33 PM | How wonderfully honest of you to talk this out.
Yes you should let people read that message you sent to us and they would understand you, it was heartfelt and sincere.
I know a lot of people who would not be that honest in the real world, let alone on a site like this.
Just to give you courage there are a lot of people with issues a lot less invasive than yours hun. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/29/2008 3:20:16 PM | to my way of thinking, disabilities need to be discussed "upfront"( before you actually meet one another in person if you are one or more of the following;
In a wheelchair, on a walker(longterm or permanent), walk with a 4 footed medical cane
Dragging a limb, drooling on the floor or in need of a fulltime guardian/minder.
Not being able to drive MIGHT be an "upfront" fact if you live in an area without reliable public transportation.
Completely without income forcing you to live with parents, other relatives or an ex.
Severe hearing or speech impairments or being legally blind.
Unable to have sex.
NONE of these makes you a bad person or unworthy of being loved,but they need to be revealed before that first meeting.
That being said, frozen shoulders, bum knees, RSD, fibromyalgia, arthritis, or other medical conditons, provided they do not significantly impact activities of daily living,EVEN IF YOU CAN'T WORK, are not so huge that you need to 'confess' them in your profile or first email. Let me put in one caveat...IN MY OPINION, if you do not have an income and are looking for a relationship as a means of solving that difficulty, you need to back up and find some other more reliable means of survival.
omg, now i know with what i just said, i guess you can say that i really blew my chances on meeting someone and falling in love again.
yes you probably did at least on this website. And it's utterly stupid, because to me you sound like you are coping very well,and I'm not sure you need to dump all this on any dating prospects right off the bat, just as long as you can get around,take care of your routine housekeeping and personal care,have an income, and can have sex. If any of those things IS an issue then yes you need to be revealing that very early on...
Cindy O | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/29/2008 3:36:01 PM | I don't know why people consider being empathic to be a disability i will never understand.
But be honest, trust and honesty is the most important parts of any relationships. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/29/2008 8:43:57 PM | sweetie, you're exactly right...honesty and trust are the most important factors in any relationship. anymore it's as if even being honest with someone isn't exactly a good thing either since some people are unable to cope with honesty.
cindy o, i'm sorry but some people in here know me already, they know what happened a few short months after i signed up for the site up until before i had a break. all i can say is that those people that know me but don't recognize me with having short hair may not quite understand what's going on and the more they read my words written the more they remember who i am. you also mentioned about an income, sorry, i'm on a very limited income and not what i want but then again it's my only way of survival. as i said, with my disabilities, that doesn't make me a bad person only better. did you ever see the movie "erin brochovitch?" the scene were she was talking to one of the clients that had a hysterectomy then lost her breast due to breast cancer....the client asked erin if she would still be a woman even though she has no breasts and uterus. erin replied, "sure, a happier woman, you're not going to have to worry about underwires and kotex." even though it was only a line in the script, there are people out there that believe in the person within is what makes the person on the outside. too bad not too many people think like the script, like me, and like many others. we choose to look at the inner beauty and not what's on the outside.
i believe in being completely honest with what's going on with my life in here and other sites as well. my profile for another singles site actually has a paragraph updating people that i've been talking to before and after the accident of my condition. i didn't mention my problem in my profile in here only because some people read the forums and it gives them the opportunity to read my words spoken of honesty. when i post in here it's words being written from my heart, words of honesty and sincerity, by no means does that mean pity. if anyone wants to be ignorant and think of me as wanting a pity party then so be it, just keep in mind that the guest of honor that the party is being held for is not going to attend.
as i said before, just be honest with what the disability is. believe it or not, that's a sure shot of actually finding someone that's being honest and loyal as well as respectful with understanding the situation. some people with a disability it might take longer to find love then it would for others, just don't give up. keep your head held high and look forward, don't look back towards those that aren't willing to accept the challenge with finding the good person within yourself. | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/30/2008 5:41:34 AM | It this for real? Am I the only one that is going to say something here half way inteligent?
Bipolar disorder is not a disability...it means that you have mood swings..under the right medication, people can function normally. It has to do with a chemical imbalance in the brain.
What the OP is describing is "EMPATHY" which has nothing to do with a brain malfunction.
~T~ | |
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| I am disabled, how do you tell people.
Posted: 1/30/2008 9:45:28 AM |
did you ever see the movie "erin brochovitch?" the scene were she was talking to one of the clients that had a hysterectomy then lost her breast due to breast cancer....the client asked erin if she would still be a woman even though she has no breasts and uterus. erin replied, "sure, a happier woman, you're not going to have to worry about underwires and kotex."
Technical point of information; the line was "You won't have to worry about underwires and maxi pads"
I love the movie and that scene/dialogue is a magnificent example of "If life hands you lemons make lemonade" attitude. And I know all about making lemonade, jeezopete I'm fixin' to DROWN in the stuff.
I absolutely agree with you on speaking your mind( or typing your mind I guess) in the forums.
What I'm trying to convey to you that the disabilities and issues you have SHOULD NOT BE "dealbreakers" as far as dating and relationships. But in the rarified atmosphere of "desperately seeking perfection" that seems to permeate the online personals scene, they probably are.
Here's my "litmus test" . If you were at a bar or a church social or whatever, and a guy came up(or a gal for you guys) and was clearly attracted( oh OK he's flatout HITTING ON YOU) and struck up a conversation, would you immediately fill him in on all your medical and life issues that weren't clearly visible? Would he not say wow what a negative woman! and go find somebody more upbeat to talk to?
At the end of the day, a fair number of people who use online dating sites are in many cases,afflicted with a permanent case of red flag vision. It probably doesn't matter WHEN you discuss your disabilities or life issues, they are gonna be out of there. But starting out on a positive,upbeat note certainly seems to be a better course of action.
Have you ever worked in sales? I have, in fact I'm an auctioneer. Now, concealing a flaw or issue about an item of merchandise can get you a bad name, if not flat out sued. But we LEAD with the good points and the positive factual information. Then we point out any flaws and possible issues.
LOL now I've probably just shot MYSELF in the foot due to so many people for whom the word "auctioneer" is synonomous with "crook" ...
Colonel Cindy O | |
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