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 d_swenson
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 1
POF making women more picky?Page 1 of 1    
Ok, so maybe I'm in the minority, but I've been on POF for about a year now, and met 2 women from the site. Seems like I'll log on here nightly and send 10-20 messages. Mind you, not "hi" or "whats up sexy". I'll look over a profile and mention something witty about something I read so they know I did more than look at photos. Granted, I'm not the best looking guy on here, but I do go out of my way to give women something to laugh about on my profile or in messages, at least if they have a sense of humor. Looking over most of the guys profiles on here, I'm starting to wonder if the trick is to simply get tattooed up and add a dozen more piercings or get a photo taken next to a Ferrari?
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:22:25 PM
whether you intend it or not, your hairstyle selections immediately establish you as a niche commodity. as such, you dramatically shrink your prospect pool.

now, that's a perfectly legit strategy, if those hairstyles authentically reflect you, and your intention is to efficiently weed out women who don't want what you offer. but the consequence is lots fewer women will want to check you out further.

if the hair is nothing more than a ploy to draw attention, you might wanna rethink it, because obviously it's not garnering the attention you want.
 d_swenson
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 3
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:25:18 PM
You know, here's the funny thing, when I go out it makes me anything but a niche commodity, it's easily the best pickup tool for anyone and everyone, maybe it's just on here it's having the opposite effect.
 TomE14
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 4
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POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:25:51 PM
I hear ya brother. Yeah, girls here get bombarded with hundreds of messages a day, and some which I believe only come here to get their self-esteem boost with all those messages from guys wanting them. The females here definitely rule the POF world and we are just a dime a dozen. I'm not hatin' it's all good! It is what it is, and at least bro you met two women from here! Me, zero, but it sure is making me be more creative with my messages, haha. And like you, I try not to just say "hi" or something boring, even read their profiles a few times to see what I can extract to make a clever message/comment.

Anyway, all the best!
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 5
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:27:47 PM
Yes, OP, that's exactly what you have to do to get some attention around here.

And I assume, that you find every single woman on here attractive, and that you respond positively to every single woman that shows interest in you with a positive and enthusiastic response back as well, correct? Because everyone knows that to do contrary to this would make one too picky??

Have I summarized it well??
 d_swenson
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 6
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:31:31 PM
You have a point, everyone to a degree ignores some of the responses they get. Although I do know some friends who get on here and get blasted with emails, who just so happen to be what I described in the OP.
 Misguided_Old_Mule
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 7
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:33:22 PM

You know, here's the funny thing, when I go out it makes me anything but a niche commodity, it's easily the best pickup tool for anyone and everyone, maybe it's just on here it's having the opposite effect.


I have seen this claim before: "I have no problem getting dates in the real world"
but have yet to see an answer to the question of why if they're having no problem IRL, they don't choose that venue over this.
 d_swenson
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 8
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:47:39 PM
Logging on and browsing a few people with the same interests is quite a bit cheaper than buying someone a few drinks to find out they irritate the shit out of you.

By the way, it's a bit ironic that the only people responding in the ask a girl forum are dudes..
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 9
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:59:53 PM

whether you intend it or not, your hairstyle selections immediately establish you as a niche commodity. as such, you dramatically shrink your prospect pool.

He's right. The girls your age I know, like tends to stick to like. You're smart, you write well, you're very funny (excellent profile!), but you're still almost exclusively only going to appeal to young women who are equally alternative and dramatic, or more so, in their own personal tastes. That's a minority.

You meet lots of girls who like the style when you go out because you're in venues where people with the same tastes tend to congregate. It's a self-selected group. A girl may or may not style herself or dress like you, but if she's into the same bands and/or other activities, she probably sees a lot of that and she's likely to be comfortable with it.

Whereas here, it's a diffuse pool of extremely varied personalities and tastes. And you're a specialized taste.

On-line is probably not a great option for you. Meeting girls in person may seem like more of a pain, but hey, at least then you're meeting them.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 10
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POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 3:31:23 PM
By the way, it's a bit ironic that the only people responding in the ask a girl forum are dudes..


Actually most of the responders have been female - only 2 so far are male and the one agreeing with you needs better pictures. None of his are clear and show his eyes. Men that do that look like they have something to hide.

No, POF does not make women more picky. Sincerely. It does occasionally overwhelm because you don't even have to be attractive to get a few emails - just be a female and under 50. What that does is create women tired of wading thru the crap that is on most emails. Some just kinda give up. Oh, they'll come on wishing for the right guy to write, but since most show they are just looking for sex a lot of women get tired of responding which is why the new women get bombarded with email (they are more likely to respond till they get sick of the crap too).

BTW, for looking alternative I think you're doing rather well on here.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 11
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 5:01:52 PM
it's easily the best pickup tool for anyone and everyone,


If it was then you would have no need to complain or use this site. I am sure it is getting you plenty of attention in a Dennis Rodman sort of way but if this is not the attention you ultimately want to get they try a new strategy.


Granted, I'm not the best looking guy on here


And you are probably not the richest, kindest, most generous most talented or the most well endowed either all of these things are probably more important to most women than a weird hairdo and multiple piercings and tattoos.

 CawkBlawker
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 12
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POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 5:36:51 PM
Just like the rest of the boys that ask this redundant question...you left out how "nice" you were btw...someone has to be attracted to you, either physically or mentally. Those unsuspecting lovelies that you find the bee's knees, don't feel that sample flutter in their bellies when they look at your pic and profile. Now let's say you were black...or short...or heavy...or asian...or irish...or italian..or greek...or muslim...or christian...or jewish...or too small a penis...or too big a penis....or have too many tattoos...not enough tattoos...have facial hair...don't have facial hair...are uncircumcised...or are circumcised...or maybe you don't want to be fisted or wear her underwear??? OR whatever excuse you want to use why nobody is replying to you? It all comes down to they are not attracted to what you are putting forth. Does this make someone picky? No it doesn't. Why? Because I'm sure that when you are out in the urban jungle with that spectacular hair don't, you don't get all happy in the pants when someone you are not attracted to you, wants you to notice them. You could have the brain of Stephen Hawkin...if she is looking to date and get her ladybits moist, she ain't writing back if she has dry ladybits looking at you. It's that simple. But you said you do better in real life anyway, right? Well, then stick with that stud.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 13
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 5:51:06 PM
You are shooting yourself in the foot with that kooky, weird hairdo, as far as dating is concerned. For the majority of women your crazy hairstyle is a deal breaker. This doesn't make them picky.

Most women want a man they would be proud to take anywhere.
 corporealcull
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 14
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POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 6:00:04 PM
While they are on pof yes they are more picky and more unjustified in how picky they are because they haven't met you in person. But keep in mind same goes for guys, we all agreed to this.

In real life sure being on pof could influence how they see guys and look past the subtleties that once only being in person could draw their attention, it's believable. I think it's just a case of the fact that the internet obviously can't do your hair justice, but on the plus side it could also narrow down those girls with enough imagination to actually comprehend its awesomeness from even a mere picture.

Unless you are waiting for that select perfect person, I would suggest empathizing with the general audience and find a compromise... preserving who you uniquely are while making it more approachable for people generally. It's a bit shocking to people who aren't use to it (online at least), you need to let them not use that as an excuse to look past your good qualities.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 15
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 6:58:55 PM
If you are messaging that many women you don't seem to care what you hook. Thinks quality instead of quantity.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 16
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:19:58 PM
No, POF does not make women more picky.


I think some people do become more picky when they have more potential dating options. Internet dating can be 1 example of this.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:30:44 PM
No it's not making women pickier, you just see more people online than in real life so the number of people who don't want to meet you is much higher. Why should any women contact any man (or vise versa) that they are not interested in? Does anyone think about how ridiculous this type of post is before they post it?
 The_Whole_of_the_Moon
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 18
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:14:01 PM
Actually it's meeting so many assholes on this site that's making women picky.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 19
POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 10:13:56 PM
Yup, the problem is women. They just want too darn much and should have to settle for what they're offered, no matter how horrible it is. That way, men can get laid easily and not have to put much work into it.
 LadleRatRottenHut
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 20
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POF making women more picky?
Posted: 5/20/2013 10:29:44 PM

it's easily the best pickup tool for anyone and everyone,

How does that work? You impale them?

I'm going to go with Christ on this.
My first glance at your profile made me chuckle.
I thought, "There's a parental attention deficit in this guy's past."
I didn't even bother reading your profile initially until I read Helen's favorable review.
You're definitely contradicting the stereotype. At least the one I have of people who wear your "uniform" of culture.
Possibly include a pic of the "look" you'd present to your date's parents. That is, if it's a different look than the ones I see now.
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