| Is a Relationship better than "In Love"?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:00:05 AM | All of the discussions are filled with labels and scoring lists. Yet, it all seems targeted for finding/developing a "Relationship". Has Relationship become just another eremitic term for "In Love"? Did'nt people just 'fall' in love? Now there seems to be scales, measures, lists, pros/cons and other social 'exam' paraphernalia...How did couples who were married YEARS ago, and are still together, ever persevere without all the feminist introspection now required... | |
|
| |
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:06:52 AM | I don't believe in romantic love. It's all a societal lie used in conjunction with the fear that you'll die alone to pressure people into more easily governed familial units. It's just like religion. Love/relationships/marriage were created to control the masses. | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:09:33 AM | I don't believe that the concept of falling in love has anything to do with feminist introspection. WTF???
People either fall in love, or they don't.
And if they don't fall in love and don't see it happening, what's the point of the relationship continuing? None. | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:15:34 AM | | Doc...Your a regular..Don Juan de Marco ,with the ladies.....I'm Surprised,at Your outlook on Woman..I would have thought,that a Man for Your age would seem a bit more seasoned in matters of the Heart............... | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:29:50 AM | | Did'nt say anything about Women..just Females..Obviously, You have not seen my posts on my opinion of the difference... However, it's the 'edum-a-cated' thingy..."I want this, that, the other, Now, let's see he fits here, Hmmm, but, No, not there....Okay, he can 'compromise' this way... Ahem, Now!!...I think we're 'ready'...Alright... we''ll 'date' for this long , then become 'committed' by... then.....It's all a lot of escape from >genuine< Romance :P | |
|
| |
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:34:22 AM | Yet, it all seems targeted for finding/developing a "Relationship"
You do realize you're on a dating site - yes? Therefore, this confuses you why?
Now there seems to be scales, measures, lists, pros/cons and other social 'exam' paraphernalia
We "women" (or females - whatever) have always had such lists - you've obviously just never paid any attention. | |
|
| |
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:35:43 AM | | It is'nt endless examination and recrimination and analysis of to see if the person 'measures up'. I think the the number of neo-modern Spinsters on here makes me CORRECT once again.. | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:36:59 AM | @Dragon ^^HAHHAH..lol
Doc You will get it one Day...(maybe not)..........Like the movie says.."Woman are a Labyrinth"my good man........live with it............
neo-modern Spinsters on here makes me CORRECT once again..lol and he wonders why he is single.....lol | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:39:43 AM | i can kinda see where you're coming from yamihere. but..........how can you "invent" a feeling. that feeling you get in your toes and tummy when the one you're crushing on passes your office
or that feeling of comfort and happiness when you're in a long committed relationship. | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:47:47 AM | @SI
From the time we are children we are programmed by what we see and what we are told. Do you think a 4-year-old girl understands romance and love? No. But there she is dressing up like a bride and already formulating an ideal in her head. The same can said for little boys. It is impressed up us from early on that this is what romance is, and it feels wonderful. I have felt greater elation when the Penguins one the Stanley Cup than I ever have by gazing at a woman. Explain that? Well, it’s conditioning to believe that something ultimately of no importance is something of great importance.
You’re also reading this from someone who doesn’t believe in romantic love. | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:48:00 AM | | I have 'It' already. I'm not wondering, it's very, Very, clear. The 'thinking' on here just highlights why the search must go farther..... Maybe, I'll just call some Similes 'metaphor(e)s' lol. Then, everything will be all sorted out... | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:55:35 AM | well maybe you were more happy about your penguins than you are in a one on one relationship and i was less emotional about my cards getting RIPPED OFF last year because people are just different.
you say we're ALL programmed and conditioned
maybe that's just how YOU feel. you can't discount how other people may feel just because it's different.
what about survival of the species? should we just procreate without the concept of families and love? fun for some, but i'm not down with handling the raising of a child by myself.
anyway, i truly respect your opinion i just don't like the idea of someone saying because i feel love that i have been programmed to do so | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 11:57:26 AM | Don't be disappointed Doc. Smart, does not mean cold and heartless. There are smart
women in this world who enjoy being passionate, affectionate and kind too. I am one of
them. It is actualy the beauty of it, being loving. Then, you mix LOVE with INTELLIGENCE,
It would become much more delicious than you can ever imagine Doc!  | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 12:27:23 PM | | Maybe a good user name would have been "Claire Voiant" ,lol. I think there is smart as IN intelligent and, then, there's what SOME on here profess THEY are! | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 12:32:24 PM | @SI
To each their own. What makes you happy is what's important for you. Just relaying what anthropology has taught us about human nature. We're really not that different from other animals. | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 1:00:37 PM | Actually...as I understand it from the anthropology that i've taken...the concept of marriage was originally intended to provide security and provision for children and for women who were pregnant...Obviously because when left to their own devices, many men felt that wasn't "part of their job"!!! It was necessary to the survival of the species!!! To hold men accountable and responsible for their offspring and the care of them.
As for "romantic love',...again, as I understand it that was a concept invented during the Victorian era when the idle rich had time on their hands and the concept of 'disposable income' was introduced....But hey, I could be wrong...
To say that the entire relationship concept is "programmed" into us at an early age...I would have to agree...Unfortunate it is...but that love itself is "programmed'?!?!? Sorry you lost me there!!!
Also...who's to say that each couple doesn't have the option of creating a relationship that is comfortable on all levels for both of them, that doesn't require the donning of "masks" or personas, that sees no value in "changing" the other person...Is that a rare thing? I know it is! But for a relationship to have a CHANCE of succeeding, it MUST be this way on BOTH sides....CR | |
|
| |
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 1:47:05 PM | the concept of marriage was originally intended to provide security and provision for children and for women who were pregnant...Obviously because when left to their own devices, many men felt that wasn't "part of their job"!!!
Oh, I don't know..Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn have raised an entire family and still together for YEARS without the 'paper'..I think there is something to be said for simple Loyality not a stack of concepts and parameters which must be followed ina precoceived 'time frame' or the Guy is an 'AH' or commitment phobic! | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 1:54:22 PM | Marriage dates back several thousand years, emerging as a civil arrangement at the same time as the emergence of private property. Far from fulfilling any religious purpose to unite one man and one woman, anthropologists theorize that most primitive marriages were polygamous. Marriages were entered into in order to expand the land or material goods base of a clan, either through the receipt of a dowry or the merger of two clans' assets. Religious guidelines around marriage are not thought to have developed until the practice was several hundred years old, and were first used as a means of preventing different religious groups from losing wealthy followers by restricting them from marrying into other religions.
In Western Europe, it was not until the Middle Ages that marriage in churches began to occur. However, church marriages were not the norm until the 17th century, and then only for the nobility. Marriage was also used as a tool to unite different royal families' bloodlines, creating alliances that were instrumental in enabling the European monarchies to colonize the globe.
Contrary to some beliefs, marriage was NOT created by women. for women, or through women.
If I had it my way, I'd have more than one husband at a time. Yes, I'm a needy greedy critter I am hehehehehe...
| |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 1:58:23 PM | @doctorkinseyphd....
As i said at the end of my post...There's nothing wrong with two people deciding what's best for them as far as their relationship is concerned...As far as the original premise behind "marriage", again, I reiterate that it was an attempt by society to define the responsibilities of the males of the tribe towards women and children, when survival was at stake...And it was also utilized for purposes of increasing wealth.
I do however agree with you, that's not the best way...But is any legislation ultimately "best" for all parties involved? Not the last time I checked...
SICutie...The construct of Romantic love was created at that time in history...the whole hearts and flowers, and poetry and "rush", of what we still accept and believe that it is today....
Romantic love the "experience", has obviously existed for much longer, although as someone else said, people back then were not "programmed" the same way, and most marriages, (it was accepted practice), were of the 'practical' kind...For reasons of property, lineage, inheritance, etc...Love very rarely entered into it.... CR | |
|
| Is a Relationship better than In Love?
Posted: 8/4/2005 2:00:21 PM | I have to say......Sighhhhhhhhhhh....I am melting here.^
OT
I think they are equal and have their place.
Relationships are more frequent than In Love, no? | |
|
| |
Home
login 
