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 ParisByNite
Joined: 8/11/2013
Msg: 1
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How many is too many?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi, I just joined this site (and the world of online dating). I'm wondering: With so many matches, how many people are too many for one to go out with? Do you date as many people as you can then narrow down? It really seems brutal to me! Any advice is appreciated.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 2
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2013 8:24:23 PM
OP, "matches" don't mean a thing. It's not as simple as you may think it is. This is totally different then meeting someone in real life. Be prepared for sending emails and not getting replies. Just the nature of online dating.
 LiterateHiker
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 3
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/17/2013 10:54:53 PM
POF "matches" are not necessarily a good match for you in real life. I have no idea how POF chooses my matches. I've never seen such a motley crew.

How many women should you MEET per week? You certainly are an optimist. Men are lucky to get one reply per 200 messages.

How many women should you DATE at once? One at a time, in my opinion. In my 20's I dated two men at once. The experience was crazy-making for everyone involved.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 4
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2013 4:06:57 AM

With so many matches, how many people are too many for one to go out with?

how can there be too many?? when you get tired, you take a nap.


Do you date as many people as you can then narrow down? It really seems brutal to me!

if you think it's brutal now, just wait until you've been here a little while and "too many" people won't even answer your emails.
 NewYorkFan1
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 5
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2013 7:32:27 AM
Yeah, definitely not like going to the supermarket and choosing 12 different cereals to purchase and bring home so that you can try a different one every day until you decide which one you like best. Those boxes of cereal were all willing participants..
Unless you have Matt Damon/ George Clooney looks, you are going to find it is not as easy as you might thing setting up all those initial meets/dates from the vast amounts of matches that POF puts in front of you.
Most guys are lucky to get a 5-10% reply rate when sending initial messages to women they find attractive..
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2013 12:00:28 PM
so op, how many actual dates have you been on?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2013 12:25:33 PM
I try to limit the number of woman I date to no more than 30 per month. After that, it gets too hectic. So far I haven't had any trouble to limiting the number of dates I get. LOL
 thewhowhobrokethepot
Joined: 12/16/2011
Msg: 8
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2013 2:33:18 PM
The more the merrier...:)
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 9
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/18/2013 8:24:47 PM
Grasshopper, your optimism is inspiring. Go, go, go!

Seriously, if you can get multiple meets and subsequently lead to dates, keep it up. It's called "playing the field".

You've got a good range of pictures, an engaging profile, and you're cute. You just might pull it off.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 10
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 12:56:57 AM
We all get the same number of matches. On the other hand, how many of them would we really be interested in? A few if lucky.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 5:03:33 AM
Personally, I have room on the bed for another 4, maybe 5. And tons of room for anyone wanting to wait and watch. So, I would say the number should be around 7-9. Speaking English, not a priority.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 12
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 8:05:25 AM
One at a time OP.....;)

Maybe when I was much younger, I would consider dating many, some even on the same day, but now that I am mature and much more focused on what I really want, one at a time more than suffices!!

When I first joined this site, it was plastered with choices, sending and receiving messages, and meeting quite a few........but to what purpose? Once doing this for a number of weeks, all I truly felt, was tired, and realized that it was not the quantity of the meets, but the quality. I changed my dating to just meeting and slowed down to enjoying friends and possibly a new potential every so often.

This site is just another tool for getting to know others and refining your selection ability, while others refine theirs.

cd
 usmaleagain
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 13
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 12:48:18 PM
Come back and talk to us after you have actually had your first date... you may find it's not as easy as it appears.... just because you may see a lot of profiles you like does not mean they like you... you may be in for a rude awakening.
 Kentish-Man
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 14
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:31:16 PM
Personally I try and limit it to 10 at any one time, but I only date bisexual women so that if I can't quite keep up (not as young as I used to be) then I get them to date each other until I can get around to them.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 15
How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:36:30 PM
OP, you'll discover in short order that a computer knows nothing about matchmaking. Most of my matches are my matches simply because we're the same age or we live in the same town. Otherwise, we have nothing in common.

I don't have a problem with dating multiple people as long as everyone knows you're dating around. Most people won't go for this though because there's always someone in this situation who likes you a little more than you like them, so that will immediately get rid of a bunch of them.

Don't plan some big fancy date for the first time. Just meet for coffee to check each other out. Most people think they're way better on-line. And you'll find more liars than people telling the truth on these sites so don't waste a lot of time emailing before meeting them.

Oh, and you might want to change your headline. That's like a beacon to the golddiggers out there.

Don't take it too seriously. These on-line relationships rarely work out because one or both of the people in the relationship is addicted to just looking so they never get off the site.
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 16
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 6:24:24 PM
Have you thought of hiring an assistant to help you out?
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 17
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/19/2013 11:27:29 PM
OP: Here's a useful tip. When you meet all these different women, do what I do, and save all pertinent info you learn about each one in the "notes" section of your smart phone, categorized by their name. For example, if you meet a girl named Sasha, put that and her POF name as the title for the note, and as she tells you about herself, add any and all useful info she gives away in the body of the note. You would be surprised how many points you earn by "remembering" her favorite flower.

Good luck!
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 18
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/20/2013 2:01:58 AM
Awesome work you do, OP. I often have thought there should be death doula's, just like their are birthing doula's. Why should one transition be so joyous, and the other so lonely.

To keep on topic, only date one at a time. Dating two or more can be very bad if someone special comes along, then goes away because she doesn't feel your interest or commitment to discovering if there is something between you two is sincere. Actions will always speak louder than words, so I'd watch what your actions are conveying.

The question would be, after how many times of 'going out' are you considered to be dating a person. You certainly don't want to stop all first meets because you met one person once who you might be interested in. You'll have to make a judgment call on what you, and other people, would consider "dating".

Just IMO
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 19
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/20/2013 2:59:18 PM
You've been on here since Aug 11th. It's very apparently that you are a newbie and a complete innocent in this venue so you have all the hopes and dreams that newbies have. Believe us, that will change. As someone else said, come back in 6 months or so and you'll know what we're talking about. I do envy your optimism
 stephenlikesto
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 20
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/20/2013 10:50:54 PM
It might be a good idea to put a rolling 'availability' schedule on your profile so that when arranging a date with another new woman she can see when you are free - that way you will avoid any accidental double-booking which is so important when have so many balls in the air (so as to speak).

Be brutal with them if necessary - you only have so much time to spread around so keep your standards very high.

Might be an idea to have three 'classes' of matches - A, the ones you want to see at any costs unless you have a night out with the boys; B similar in quality to A but don't like sports and there is an important game on that you want to catch; C ones you will fit in if by some chance you have a night free when no As or Bs are free (I know this is unlikely but sensible to plan for) and D - rejects, no reason to let them know.

If you are really pressed for time then taking out more than one woman on a date may be necessary - once you have narrowed it down to one it is kind to let the other one know and send her home.

Good luck you are obviously going to have your hands full (so as to speak) in the coming months.
 jojophilly
Joined: 8/19/2013
Msg: 21
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/24/2013 10:37:32 AM
The my matches section are all people who have prequalified and pre-agreed to go out with me, right? This is great. Unless they're crazy. Not a fan of crazy.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 22
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How many is too many?
Posted: 8/31/2013 11:18:20 AM
I think of POF ( and other similar sites) like a shooting gallery where the targets keep moving, popping up and down, and new ones keep coming.
Some women will get mad if they send you 2 messages, then they see you are online, but you don't immediately respond to their third message . You are obviously just a player !! And, you haven't even met !!
I don't think there is a right answer to this question. You have to meet people, then see if you both want to see each other again, and take it from there. It's not as easy as it seems.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 23
How many is too many?
Posted: 9/3/2013 5:35:18 PM
Lmao. The responses in this thread are hilarious!
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 24
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How many is too many?
Posted: 9/3/2013 5:38:40 PM
I would like an update.

How is it going, OP? Still keeping your head above water, I hope.
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