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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???      Home login  
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 SweetKristine
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 1
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I was talking to my guy friend last nite and he was telling me..since I'm going to have my 3rd date soon with this guy..i better put out...I thought the whole 3rd date rule was a myth? Is it??? I dont think im ready to have sex with him....I know he's intrested in me...and I mean its not like i dont like sex....help! lol is the 3rd date rule a myth?
 *BumbleBee*
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 2
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 6:33:23 AM
SK .... I've been wondering how you were doing and how your date went. I'm happy to hear that things are going well so far.

I don't believe in following rules when dating (ok, I have one lol) .... especially when it comes to sex. Don't have sex until you're ready. If he's interested it won't bother him in the least.
 Little Drummerboy
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 3
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 6:35:53 AM
I agree with bumblbee on this,wait till you are ready.If he doesn`t want to wait for you then he isn`t worth keeping around.
 Roberto13
Joined: 7/3/2005
Msg: 4
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 6:55:27 AM
IMHO I think a lot has changed with this type of format.
I think the third date "rule" has to do with the time it take to get to know someone well enough to find out if you want to invest emotionally in a sexual encounter. ( I am throwing out the one night stand, two drunks in a bar parking lot scenarios) Three dates you spend about 10 to 15 hours getting to know the person. Maybe less if you just go to movies or a venue where you do not talk or sit face to face.
With online like this, I have spent 30 to 40 hours chatting, e-mailing and talking on the phone and know already a lot more about a person I have not met face to face yet. In this scenario the main determination is the physical attraction. I would like to deny this and say once you know the inside then the outside doesn't matter but I have to admit to being shallower than that. I have ended up more physical on my first date here (just a back rub) but we had talked for over 40 hours and a lot had clicked. On the second date it just seemed a natural thing for both of us.
The last series of dates on was on that were set up blind (not thru the internet) we went out four times, twice to a comedy club and twice to movies and it never became sexual nor even remotely physical because we had not invested the time to get to know each other. We just liked laughing together and that was fine, too.

You have to let your heart be your guide and dont be afraid to say no if you aren't ready and yes if you are and stop counting.

just my two cents
 downtownboy
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 5
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 7:03:22 AM
I have nothing to contribute here, as the posters above me have pretty much exhausted the topic with sound advice. However, there is surely an opportunity for subtle humor here, which is not as yet apparent, however I will mull this over a cup of steaming java.....give me a minute.

Nope, nothing.

Guess I'll need a second cup.
 kce33
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 6
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 7:03:47 AM
i have always given it a month...simply cause little things sometimes pop up that no one is expecting....
and the main thing is that after a month of no sex, this should ring your bell and give you a big hint on how little sex will be in the coming relationship..

platonic friendships are great if you already have a sex buddy or if you're lucky enough to be able to buy it, it saves hassels about sex in the relationship..

but for the 3rd date thing, not enough time to see how clean people are...
kce
 Splog
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 7
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 7:15:37 AM
I never heard of the 3rd date rule. My general rule is that I don't start dating until I have already slept with the the woman. So, I suppose that is the zero date rule. Having said that, I have just realised that one of my (male) friends stops seeing women if they are not responsive to his sexual advances by the third date - so, yes, maybe there is a 3rd date rule and maybe many people do apply it.
 Smiler127
Joined: 7/8/2005
Msg: 8
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 7:25:59 AM
I don't think there is a rule, but I can tell you that most of the people I have ever slept with has been within the first three dates. It just seemed to work out that way but it wasnt a plan or rule or anything.
 Belladona
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 9
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 8:29:04 AM
SweetKristine.....have sex when you are ready, but be clear with him about your expectations and ask him what his are first, then you can make your decision. 1st date, 3rd date, a month or two....it doesn't matter.... it's about being clear and asking the questions that are important for your own piece of mind.

Good luck honey
 darkhorse723
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 10
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:20:47 AM
Clearly, if you go to any local club or bar, it's very clear that alot of women don't subscribe to that rule!
 Real_Brunette
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 11
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:26:19 AM
kris, if he is going to lose interest if you don't have sex on your next date, he doesn't deserve you anyway. You are so much more than that. If you were just interested in sex, I'd say go for it, but if you want more, and he does too...he should have no problem waiting for you, babe! and congrats! I am so happy you met someone
 Belladona
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 12
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:28:47 AM
@darkshorse... You're absolutely right, they don't when they're looking for a one-night gig, but I believe Sweet is talking about getting it on with a guy she's dating, is interested in her and her in him.
 blueeyeddvl
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 13
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:31:13 AM
Hey SK...there's no third date rule in regard to sleeping with someone as far as I'm concerned. If he is the kind of guy that you deserve then he'll wait until you are ready, and when that time happens that it'll be great for both of you because you shouldn't feel pressure because it's the "third" date. It might be something that you want to talk to him about because if you can't talk about it then you shouldn't be doing it.

Glad to hear things are working out so far for you.
 Babylonia
Joined: 1/27/2005
Msg: 14
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:43:24 AM
If someone prescribed to that notion then they wouldn't last with me anyway.

A) I take a lot longer to feel comfortable with someone. There needs to be a lot of time logged into us talking, etc.

B) 'IF' I felt that I knew the person well enough, I'd sleep with them on the first date. It's according to 'my' schedule that I conduct my sex life, not someone elses.

C) If you feel that sexual attraction but have the gut feeling that you aren't SURE you want to have sex with them just yet, simply DON'T. You have to be SURE, and with no regrets. If you have regrets, then you were prostituting yourself in order for him to 'like' you.

D) If he stops calling because you just aren't comfy about the idea of having sex just yet, that is his choice. But chances are that there wasn't anything concrete or meaningful that this guy could've offered you long term ANYWAY because he's two busy trying to figure out when he's going to get laid.

Which brings me to....

E) People who operate on 'time schedules' are IMO inherently IMMATURE and SHALLOW. They have no regard for the fun in getting to know someone and worry only about stroking their ego (among other things), revelling in the fact that they got 'lucky'. I kind of imagine these types to be incredibly selfish lovers too. Who the f*** wants a shitty lay, before you're even READY to sleep with them, and then they turn out to be a complete doofus on top of it all?

Eeeek, I'll skip that episode!


Remember - ON YOUR TERMS. ALWAYS
 Viper1
Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 15
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:51:14 AM
Agree with ^^^^^^HER,

Sex is not set on a time schedule, sex should be something that happens at its natural pace. Don't ever do it to keep him interested and don't ever do it if you are not sure or not ready.

Sex is a beautiful thing but should be done without regret!!

But hey thats just my opinion!
 Viking68
Joined: 5/4/2004
Msg: 16
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 9:53:42 AM
why not
 _Atlas_
Joined: 7/2/2004
Msg: 17
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:00:21 AM
I always thought this was a stupid rule... but it seems to be the way things are going these days..

I give it at least 3 weeks.. or longer.. I like to know who I am getting funky with... but some weird reversal thing happened in the past few years... the girls were pushing me in that direction... all I can say as I am not so desperate as that I have to jump into bed with the first thing that offers... so I tend to wait.. if they don't like it then I'm not the one for them, they can find some hornball at the bar and screw them on the first date if they want
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 18
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:08:31 AM
Did I miss another meeting ?

I thought you had sex when you were comfortable having sex with someone.

I have also REALLY gotten scre... ( actually.....wait I HAVEN'T !!!!!! GRRRRRRRR )
 girlnextdoor4you
Joined: 9/4/2004
Msg: 19
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:10:00 AM
if it's bothering you that much, talk to him about it. Say that you like him, not feeling that comfortable yet, and didn't want him to take it as disinterest.

There are no time rules when it comes to sex. It depends on comfort level.
 redamber
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 20
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:12:08 AM

I dont think im ready to have sex with him


What was the problem??? You're not sure if you should sleep with a guy because of some 'rule'? but don't think your ready am I right? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thinking hard about this one it's a tough one...... Solution: Wear granny panties and/or don't shave your legs. Problem Solved! As I dust my hands off and search for another thread to share my infinite wisdom.
 redamber
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 21
blackfox
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:34:37 AM
nope it's the uniform
 JAMISON
Joined: 2/7/2005
Msg: 22
blackfox
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:44:34 AM
I didnt even know that such a rule existed??? Dont worry about trying to follow up with mythical rules and/or regulations, because honestly they will problem bring more bad than good.
 RDHIII
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 23
blackfox
Posted: 8/5/2005 10:51:29 AM
anyone who tries to tell "when" to do anything isn't worth the time of day never mind a third date. If he lets you know he's not interested in a sexless relationship thats one thing, but telling you how soon you have to put out......... uhm NO! I personally don't have any set rule but would appreciate a woman that expressed whether or not she saw sex with me as a possibility.

@ redamber it's not the uniform its the candy bars he gives them.
 anotheraviator
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 24
blackfox
Posted: 8/5/2005 11:12:09 AM
..this is just crap...

I don't think i've ever had sex after a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date. Usually things progress slowly over a long period of time. It's not uncommon for me to be seeing someone for 2 months before anything like that happens.

Don't listen to those stupid dating rules. They just make things complex for both sexes.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 25
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blackfox
Posted: 8/5/2005 11:14:29 AM
I may be busy for awhile, I have decided to call up all the women I have already dated twice.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???