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 Nor64
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 1
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"Just Looking for Friends"?Page 1 of 1    
I see a lot of these kind of profiles on POF, the girls make it absolutely clear that they arent looking for a romantic relationship and they already have a boyfriend. Why are they looking for friends on a dating site? Doesnt really make sense.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 2
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/17/2013 11:04:08 AM
I changed mine to looking for friends after I met someone...on here. I like the forums and have met a few great people that I occasionally talk to in PM. Some probably come here looking to date and then become involved, and decided to keep their profiles. Some people just like to chat on the internet and use whatever venues they find. Personally, if not for the forums, I would have deleted my profile already.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 3
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/17/2013 3:43:16 PM
I can't speak for others but as Lexti suggested some users have discovered the Forums. They may or may not have a BF/SO but enjoy interacting in the Forums. Some of us have become on-line friends with others, thru the Forums. So for some the looking "FOR " is friends, and others such as myself, I continue to search "FOR" long term. I interact on both sides of POF.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 4
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/17/2013 4:37:39 PM
I won't reiterate what Lexti said since that reflects my situation: Found a guy and stayed for the forums.

Another possibility is that they're a girl looking for friends and have exhausted other ways to find them. OK-C is a great site to find friends, as is meetup, but they may be trying all avenues possible. Even if they're open to female friends, they'll choose male to avoid confusing a lesbian or they just prefer guy friends. Male friends are the bomb if they're not trying to get into your pants.
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/17/2013 8:24:46 PM
Some women like to window shop.

Just like there are a lot of guys out there looking for NSA/FWB

Use a goal that you don't think is appropriate as a tool to weed out people you don't want to meet.

There are other indicators normally used to say "I just want to talk on the forums"
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 3:53:36 AM
1Because they say it on the internet does not mean it is true, they may just want to meet and have no pressure/keep options open.
2 There is no reason why you can't look for friends on this site ( it IS an option).
3 Friends COULD mean "cheating" .
4 Friends that allow both sexes or one sex to e mail could mean just friends.
5 Friends that only allow the opposite sex could mean friends, but you pay.

HOW are we supposed to know what each individual means by friends?
 BelleVintage
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 7
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 5:32:30 AM
With the mounds of men saying "I want to get to know you as friends first", or some sort of "lets start out as friends first", its no wonder you might as well say you're looking for friends, since that is what these mean are saying they want to start off as.

For those who are truly looking for friends, what exactly is the harm? This is just one more avenue to achieve that. Maybe during the course of the friend search, they meet someone they are interested in. Not everyone has had the opportunity or social aptitude to have friendships in their lives, and some just prefer online friends.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 6:23:10 AM

Why are they looking for friends on a dating site? Doesnt really make sense.

Do you date strangers? I don't.

Ok, to be fair.. I don't *date* if I can help it.

I don't start romantic relationships with strangers either... I prefer to know them as a friend for a while first.

Friends first, open to more if it happens. I think a lot of people are like this, and if not, they should be.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 9
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 6:46:49 AM
At 21 what are YOU looking for OP, a wife??????!!!!!!!!

At your age your dating should include the opportunity for "friends" cause, the reality of it all, at your age that's what you are ready for. That is until the time you learn what you do and do not want out of a relationship. And right now you don't have a clue. That's why you should be dating and keeping that "exclusive" word hidden in your back pocket for another 9 or 10 years.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 10
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 8:04:29 AM
I always found that odd too. But I also notice these people who are looking for friends have really high standards -- meaning the guys don't want to be friends with ugly chicks and vice versa lol

I think the friends thing just a chicken-sh(i)t way of dating on the sly. That way, they don't really have to make a commitment.
 BelleVintage
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 11
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 8:28:48 AM

I think the friends thing just a chicken-sh(i)t way of dating on the sly. That way, they don't really have to make a commitment.


+1

I don't trust people who say something like "friends first", it gives me the impression that they have a history of dating their friends. They never branched out to real "dating" when you are getting to know someone as a "date", not a "friend" They have a completely different idea of what I consider a friend.
 Nor64
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 12
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 10:12:19 AM
No Walts, I am looking for several. My harem is looking a bit empty.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 13
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 12:06:35 PM

I think the friends thing just a chicken-sh(i)t way of dating on the sly. That way, they don't really have to make a commitment.

+2. It's an escape-hatch, much the same way the stupid "Friends First" game is played. You may hesitate to think that because you can look at the nice Christian girl and you know she's not out to use guys for money or be manipulative.

But it's an escape-hatch that they think is legit because it's not written off by elders. It seems harmless with little thought, but to any person with a brain, you can see right through it. :)

The escape-hatch is simple: If you don't like them, you can walk away with no hard feelings. Hey, we were just friends, right? Well, no, you're not actual friends on your first meet if you messaged as strangers online several times, just like normal people aren't girlfriend or boyfriend either. Both take time.

If they Really were looking for friends-first or just friends -- then she could meet a gorgeous guy, where he'd make out with the waitress at the end of the night and split the bill, and that'd have no bearing on how she feels about him. :)

It's a game when even innocent nice people play the "friends first" or "just looking for friends" mantra. Approach at your own risk. Some girls just (falsely) mean "friends first", explained in their profile, as just wanting to get to know ya before doing the nasty. In those cases, it's just taking things slow, and that's fine (but don't hesitate to bail if you're not feeling her interest early).
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 14
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 1:35:32 PM
Looking For Friends to me is usually someone who has not fully jumped into online dating...they are just dipping in thier toes. It can be for a variety of reasons, and many have already beeen listed above...it could also be that they are not sure if this is a good venue to date from and dont want the hassle of denying dates if that is in fact thier choice after seeing what is available for them in here.

I didnt meet men Looking For Friends...in the chatting/getting to know you stage before a meet, they self weeded themselves out in a variety of ways.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 15
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/18/2013 8:27:31 PM
If I was here just to make friends I would have a TON of them! I was friendzoned so often I had a ton of options for movies, non-dates, dinners, conventions, etc. I was swimming in friends! This is actually....no joke...a great way to make friends.

Now if you are after a relationship..............
 GenJayne
Joined: 5/13/2013
Msg: 16
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/19/2013 4:26:51 PM
I only have friends here right now because I am not looking to date. When people ask me why I am here I say it is because I can be. Why ask why?
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 17
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/19/2013 4:35:44 PM
Hmmm...
I had "looking for friends" once. I doubt it was because I was a chicken shyt.
Mostly it was because I'm separated and it's hard to find women online to date. But I also like to do things and most of my friends are married. I thought it would be nice to find a woman to go hiking with or biking with. Could care less about her physical attributes.
Then I learned that men & women cannot be friends thanks to POF so I changed my profile back to me looking for a relationship.
 justagrlwithacat
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 18
Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/19/2013 5:03:40 PM
If I was single and "looking for friends", then ok, whatever. call it chickening out made easy, or for real, nothing wrong with it.
But I'd never be dating and "looking for friends" on a dating site. That's just so disrespectful to the partner, even if the excuse is "but I have a lot of friends in the forum" bs, and grow up.
 Nor64
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 19
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/19/2013 8:32:50 PM
ProcolHarem, can you explain that last bit? Why was it thanks to POF, and what did you find out?
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 20
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Just Looking for Friends?
Posted: 11/21/2013 2:39:31 PM

ProcolHarem, can you explain that last bit? Why was it thanks to POF, and what did you find out?


Sure...If you read the forums, popular opinion is that men cannot be friends with women because we are always just interested in sex.
I didn't know that until I started reading the POF Forum Posts.
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