| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 8:17:38 AM | Okay, here is the scenario. I am a single mom of 2 and my ex (not husband, he never wanted to be married-my first tip off) cheated on me 3 times. The 3rd with my best friend. I have not dated in almost 8 years and I have fallen off of the wagon. My ex says "I love you so much, but I need to make a fresh start with her". So, the emotional rollercoaster continues. I just want to find a guy who is faithful and will take care of me and my girls...Is that so wrong? HOnestly? Were have all the good men gone? | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 8:32:17 AM | Many men date single mothers but many dont for this exact reason,the woman wants him to take care of HER kids.Well not to come off as being against you because i myself am a sinlge mother,but i dont think you should be looking for someone to take care of your children,they are your responsibility here,not someone elses. That may be why you are having trouble dating.Maybe you need more time to heal yourself,take care of yourself and your children,make yourself a bit more confident.You dont NEED a man in your life.There are many faithful men out there its just a matter of attracting and chosing the right one for you.
I wish you all the best.
~Hunny~  | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 8:36:11 AM | As a single mom with two young daughters myself..
Make your life so that you DON'T need to find a man who, as you put it yourself, "will take care of me and my girls"... that just doesn't happen anymore, nor should it need to..
Self-sufficiency is an attractive quality to any "good" man who would even entertain the idea of dating a woman with kids! A lot won't even consider it..that's their choice..and you have to respect that.
The one meant for you won't go by you.. Live your life on YOUR terms till then...HAVE FUN! | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 10:10:58 AM | Hey Flagal, personally..?!, I'd rather date single mothers..., I think that there's certain "plus" on a person, man or woman after they become parents. but that's just me...
I would be carefull using that "take care of me" phrase though..., let that just happen.., if a guy likes you, and your kids.., he will...
It just sounds ackward.., and some can see that as a warning sign...
Take care  | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 11:12:48 AM | I have no prob dating a single mom, sometimes i perfer it. The times im turned off by it is when that single mom is just looking for someone to support her and/or her children, then you sorta feel used.
OT: Why does a single dad with 4 boys have such a hard time finding a girl?  | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 11:42:26 AM | being a part-time single dad, I perfer single moms - they understand better than I do the everything that goes into having kids - and are gnereally more understanding if something comes up with my daughter - and we have a common interest to start right off the bat - our kids
many - not all - woman with out kids don't want to date a man with kids - they sometimes think that they will have to be a mom to the kid - they don't - my daughter has a mom | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 2:03:16 PM | | I think single moms are sexy! Very sexy! The experience of childbirth puts a woman in a category beyond beautiful and sexy. I would not have a problem taking care of a woman and her children. I would welcome the opportunity! | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 2:49:21 PM | | You keep talking about your ex,That is the whole problem with women that has kids.They talk about ex this! ex that!I personally do not give the time a day for women with kids.I do not do sloppy seconds....You would never respect me.But you would respect my money...I lost alot in my 20s thanks to screw up women.But never again.I will gladly live like a hermit and let the next guy be the fool.Those days are over for me. | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 3:16:42 PM |
I do not do sloppy seconds
ok so you are saying you will only date or marry a virgin? good luck with that!!! Everyone that has ever had sex is "sloppy second" 
how would you feel if a girl didnt want to date you cuz you had sex before her??? | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 3:27:55 PM | | By the way i did not address you^^^^Secondly i was not talking about sex.I am talking about somebody that all they want to talk about their exs.Frig that.If the next guy or fool wants that.Then go for it.I work to hard to deal with that bull-Sh-t. | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:05:31 PM | I like the name 'tar' in your name.......I think it's fitting.
Secondly, in 7 years of dating as a single parent, I have *never* actually come across anyone like you. (I think he's a rare soul so breathe easy ladies)
We all have ex's. Some of us get along quite famously with them, some of us don't. Some of us talk about them incessently, some of us never bring them up at all. Some of our ex's are involved with our children. Some are not.
Before you "tar" everyone with the same brush, take a deeper look at yourself. What kind of issues do 'you' have?
There's nothing wrong with choosing not to date a single parent. For quite some time, even "I" would not date men with children, for personal reasons. No one can fault you for that. However the attitude that you display (not to mention that obvious illiteracy) will get you condemned very quickly, by single parents and non parents alike.
Best of luck to you!
CH | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:18:03 PM | tarheelman... i know you where not talking about me... just stating a fact.
I agree ... everyone has ex's some will talk about them some wont.
I honestly dont have a problem talking about or hearing about the ex's ... to me you get to know more about the person if you know how they handle relationships or how they where in a relationship. It helps you understand why the person is the way they are... i think ... just my opinion lol I wish i knew more about my ex b'fs ex's cuz maybe i would have gotten rid of him before he dumped me. lol
Say you date someone who drinks/does drugs alot and you are worried cuz your ex did that and he/she got abusive or whatever ... are you not going to say... look your drinking bothers me cuz my ex had a problem with it and its worring me ... sure you are...i think so anyways lol...i know i would. | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/7/2005 10:00:16 PM | I've been a single parent dad now for 12 years and I can't remember not dating a Single Parent Mum. I belong to a group called Parents Without Partners here in Hamilton, and I've made a ton of great friends though them who are able to talk about and support each other with the fact of being a single parent. Just having someone there to talk to makes a world of difference and introducing your kids to there kids can help the kids get through a seperation, knowing there are other kids in the same situation.
Everyone has some sort of baggage, but when a lady is ready to let it all go and start talking about her kids, her job, her future goals, etc then she's takling the right steps to start dating. When they're not ready they still carry all that baggage with them, example talking about there Ex this and there Ex that. So even if they think they are ready for the dating scene, they really need a lot of love and support in dealing with the baggage and people to talk too who have been through what they have.
The reason I'm stating this is the fact is that they are the Ex, meaning there past and they have to work pass this to get to there future. Learn from your mistakes and move on knowing you won't make that same mistake twice. There are a lot of us nice guys out there who would love to date a single mum or even make a new friend and help them get through this.
Just keep on smiling and you'll get through it, but it's easier with friends.
(((((((HUGS)))))))) to all | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 2:19:13 AM | | Canadian^^^I am glad you know all about me and where i been.God your good!!Yes i have issues.But least i admit it.But i am not like some that claim to be miss perfect.You worry about canada and i wll worry about tar....I do not believe i address you in any shape or form in the past. | |
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| I am wondering if being a nice guy is the right thing to do anymore
Posted: 8/8/2005 3:48:37 AM | Being a nice guy for the last 8 months since i moved back to ca.has got me nothing but lies,women w/2-4 personalities!! (not really,just moody!!) Women who said they were over previous man in their lives,but weren't!!! You name it,Iv'e seen it!!(I THINK??) I know there are still some real,family oriented,sexy,attractive,sensual,women/moms out there who are HONEST!!! (VERY IMPORTANT!!) Who will appreciate a good/real man   | |
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| I am wondering if being a nice guy is the right thing to do anymore
Posted: 8/8/2005 6:31:55 AM | tarheelman
You keep talking about your ex,That is the whole problem with women that has kids.They talk about ex this! ex that!I personally do not give the time a day for women with kids.I do not do sloppy seconds....You would never respect me.But you would respect my money...I lost alot in my 20s thanks to screw up women.But never again.I will gladly live like a hermit and let the next guy be the fool.Those days are over for me.
By the way i did not address you^^^^Secondly i was not talking about sex.I am talking about somebody that all they want to talk about their exs.Frig that.If the next guy or fool wants that.Then go for it.I work to hard to deal with that bull-Sh-t.
Canadian^^^I am glad you know all about me and where i been.God your good!!Yes i have issues.But least i admit it.But i am not like some that claim to be miss perfect.You worry about canada and i wll worry about tar....I do not believe i address you in any shape or form in the past.
Wow buddy... if you weren't talking about sex, then I guess you meant you wont date a woman who has been involved in any relationship?
As for not addressing certain people in this thread... uhm, do you understand the concept of a message forum? You addressed everyone who reads these forums, and that includes the people you just tried telling you hadn't addressed them.
As for anyone claiming they were miss perfect, I never saw that part anywhere, can you please point it out to me, seems your perceptions are obviously much better than mine, I would appreciate the help.
hmmm, out of all the things you lost in your 20's, is your mind the part you miss the most??
Oh yes, to the OP, any guy that doesnt want to go out with you because you have children is not the type of guy you want, so don't worry about them. Move on and find another fish (reference to POF, not sucker... lol). The comments about guys not wanting to be put in a position where they are responsible for your kids is right on the money. Being part of their lives, yes. Helping to raise them, yes. Sharing the responsibilty for them, yes. But not taking responsibility for them in a blanket sense.
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| I am wondering if being a nice guy is the right thing to do anymore
Posted: 8/8/2005 7:05:12 AM | | For a guy to take on the burden of somebody else's kids is a very noble act. Children just get in the way, and lead to arguments. For a woman with children to be worth dating - when there are so many childless women around - she would have to have some incredible positives to compensate for the negative of having children. My advice, then, is to recognise that you need to think more about "why on earth should a man want to take on me and my children?" and "what can I offer to the guy to make it worth his while?" | |
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| I am wondering if being a nice guy is the right thing to do anymore
Posted: 8/8/2005 8:37:44 AM | Splog
"Burden - kids get in the way - arguments - worth dating - what can I offer a guy to make it worth HIS while"
PLEASE - go back to your cave and stop giving men a bad rap
think about what YOU can offer her to make you worth HER while - which at this point is not a lot
sex, money, family are more causes of arguments than kids -
if you don't want to date single moms - I can only say - thank god - they don't need anyone so self-centred in their life | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 11:10:16 AM | | I have a question for you , I was in a relationship which went on and off for 4 months I was with a woman who I thought loved me with 2 kids which were from different fathers we kind of moved fast it was my first relationship ever in my life and was unsure how to do things for her . When we were together I would let her sleep as much as possible cuz I felt bad for her not being able to sleep when I am not there but for 4 months I did a lot to help her out and be with her kids and such for 3 months out of the relationship I felt it was wierd that she didn't want to meet my friends or family which in ways frusturated me but I brushed it off and went on . One week while she was working as a flower girl I tried to let her have as much sleep and rest as possible and in the same respect you'd think she would let you do the same on her days off which wasn't the case while she is working I would watch the kids 24/7 cuz even during the night they would wake up every hour on the hour and I was getting burnt out and she wouldn't or didn't understand why I was grumpy or ****y half the time . One morning I lost it I regret it for the life of me for what I did I scared myself and her I got so frusturated with the lack of love and sleep I was getting in the relationship that I put a hole in her bedroom wall . Now I could have been an ***hole and left it there along with bringing her kids to someone elses place for them to watch till she got off work and such but no I got the hole patched up I stayed watching the kids till she got off work and after I picked her up and told her what I have done of course she would be in shock but when we got back home she would not let me help her with her kids btw her kids are now 19 months and 9 months one has burns on his legs from a tea pot exploting and the other has colic and digestive system problem . But when we got home the only thing she said to me was "what do you expect me to say " and to me it felt that I was hurt that she never understood why it happened which is wierd cuz she gets frusturated all the time and has a smoke at the time I did not have any or smoked earlier in the relationship after dealing with a colicy baby for most of the night and finally putting her down to rest I started up . My patience was great back in the early stages of the relationship tell me what happened why did my patience go from great to having almost none at all ? To me I felt she didn't want to work it out and I walked out I have walked out in her life 5 times cuz at the time I don't know how to deal with the problem and it doesn't help when the other person has nothing to offer either but after I have a few days to myself I know how to deal with it and would like another chance at it I even suggested parental classes to her that I would love to take to become a better father and person towards her kids and herself but in less than a week after we broke up she had a new man in her life think how I feel , I feel used I feel as if she never loved me and I also feel she has no idea what she wants in life. I also think she is hiding her true feelings about me and using this guy as a rebound , when I hurt her I hurted myself 200x worst cuz all I do is think about her and I am having a hard time with killing the memories off and yes I fell so in love with her I don't know how to go on to find another one and in one month of the relationship everytime I wanted to go home to grab some clothes or whatnot she would go shopping and in one month she bought me 2000 dollars worth of clothes which I felt overwhelmed cuz I never had anyone do that in my life before and I would buy her roses and try make it a romantic gesture when your new to the dating/relationship scene it's hard to think what to do for romance especially most of the ideas come off of movies or soaps but I did try and she didn't recognize it another thing is everytime we had sex or love making she didn't want to talk about it or have it mentioned which to me is wierd I personally think she is a very insecure person with herself and the funny thing is when I asked her if she accepted me for who I am she said no and I still stayed and tried to change myself into what she wanted for a guy. Anyways I am not trying to bash her I still have the love and respect of her . I just wanted to know am I a bad person and should I ever be allowed to have kids cuz of what I have done ? Also if it ever happened to you and the guy wants to try and make it up and asks for your forgiveness for his stupidity would you be able to give it ? Thank you reading this and hopefully you can help me understand also :) | |
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tjmac
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Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 1:06:41 PM | I think the most important thing to remember here is there are others involved besides you and your date. Being from divorced parents at a young age I know what I went through and now being a single parent my primary focus is on my daughter not what kind of woman I am going to date next.
I have dated single mothers and single women(no kids) a woman is a woman (don't want to sound demeaning as I find all women incredible-not sexually), you just have to remember there are others who can get hurt. I dated one single mother and met her kids on the first date, I treated them like little adults, didn't try to impress them, just gave them the respect they deserve. I almost ended up having a better relationship with the kids than the mother.
I think the answer is to find someone you are compatible with, an equal no matter what past baggage(as some may call it) is, everything else will fall into place. One should never label anyone for anything. If I find someone who loves me for who I am and I return the love, she could have a whole football team it wouldn't make a difference.
Playing Devil's advocate I know it can be hard to date a woman with kids but who is to say all single women are clear sailing? Every relationship has its ups and downs, pros and cons. Find the one that makes you happy and nothing else will matter. As for the kids, treat them like equals and everything will work out....
Love one and all, sorry if I bored you all but I always have to put my two cents in.
All women rock........and ladies, don't let any guy tell you otherwise....oh yeah I can do without personal opinions by scorned men.....c ya. | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 2:00:08 PM | | Ok, first mistake is finding a man to take care of you and your children!!!! Wow, if I was a man I'd be running the minute I read this. I have been a single mom now for many years and not because I couldn't find anyone to take care of me and my boys! I take care of my boys, what I would like to find is someone that will love my boys like they were his own! I haven't read your profile but if you indicated that you are looking for someone to take care of you and your boys, hurry delete that part..it's not too late. As for me, I have dated and have had a few serious relationships, but remain single because I chose to remain that way, first because I didn't want to introduce a lot of men in my boys' lives, you know the saying....you catch a lot of toads before you meet your prince charming, and second because I won't settle. I don't NEED a man to take care of me or my boys, I would like to find a man that completes me, someone to share my good and bad times with......a friend (with fringe benefits...*wink)! Good luck finding a caregiver for both you and your children! | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 2:56:37 PM | It sounds like the wounds are pretty deep from the betrayal. That is understandable, and I know exactly where you're coming from. If your ex says he loves you but he needs to make a fresh start with someone else, that is such a load of CRAP! You need to disassociate from that loser. Your statement wanting someone faithful and willing to take care of you and the kids bears further discussion. The faithful part is quite fair and straightforward, but what do you mean by taking care of you and your kids. That is really a vague concept that needs to be evaluated critically. If you mean that you want someone that will accept your kids as part of the package and love and respect all of you, that's good. If you are looking for a man to do everything while you sit back and play the helpless female, that won't work. This is the 21st century and women are expected to and need to be able to function independently.
Good Luck, Hope your hurts heal over soon and you can enjoy life. | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 6:47:27 PM | I prefer single moms for that reason. They are SINGLE MOMS. That to me is the hardest job. I have the utmost respect for ALL the single parents out there. Now the part I don't agree with is a woman looking for a man on the basis of "supporting" her and her kid(s). If that is your motivation for finding someone, you are going to have nothing but problems.
Cheers to all you single parents out there taking care of your responsibilities!!!! | |
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| Does anyone date single moms anymore?
Posted: 8/8/2005 6:53:07 PM | | ive had guys be all like " i want to be a father figure to ur child" without even dating me for a week! go figure they want to get in my pants or want my money and they think that by saying that about my kidd its gonna get me closer to them when it acually just freaks me out .i wouldnt allow any guy i date to be a father figure to my daughter unless i marry him | |
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