| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/8/2005 5:48:59 AM | How do you know you're in love with someone? Its very easy to have feelings for people... but mistaking those feelings with love, is rather common... how can you tell when it's love, and when its lust?
[Subject changed to be more helpful. /xander] | |
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Posted: 8/8/2005 6:20:32 AM | most of the time its difficult to notice this unless your looking in hindsight (which is always 20/20). If i was considering love, then i would be very warry of someone who i fall over for as soon as i meet them ... i find in a lot of cases that = lust. Also, if you find that you have sex a lot but then nothing too much else afterwards ... thats a sure sign of lust. Its hard to say really ... you just need to look at your situation from a 3rd person perspective and see if this guy is really compatible with you ... or if your just lusting over him.
I'd show yah what i mean ... but i live a little far away :P | |
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feste
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Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 3 | |
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Posted: 8/8/2005 6:23:51 AM | It's usually a mixture. The most intoxicating part is lust. The part that is there when you yawn, is love. It is up to each of us to get to know our own hearts and feelings. Nobody else can show you.
In my case I can tell the difference between love and lust using this simple test. I imagine having sex with the person, and if that seems like it would be fun, I consider it to be lust. Then I imagine we go camping together and it rains. If we still have a good time, I consider it to be love. | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/8/2005 9:33:24 AM | | You know that you're in love when you start spending money that you would normally save or start saving money that you would normally spend. For example there was this girl a couple years ago...I was in some Barnes & Noble type store and I totally got the urge to buy her something just because I thought she might like it. Of course I restrained myselft because we were just friends and I didn't want to ruin it. But I must of loved her if I just wanted to do things to make her happy. It wasn't a devisive thing either, as if I wanted to win her over with a gift. The feeling was great though. | |
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nnn
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Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/11/2005 10:32:43 AM | When you wake up thinking about them, when you get butterflies when they tell you something personal, when you want to hold and protect them, when you feel that no one else could make them happier than you, that's when you know its love!  | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/11/2005 11:25:09 AM | I've seen men who were so hot and so fine that I've spent the entire day thinking about them and having butterflies without so much as a conversation with them. Does that mean I'm in love with them? Of course not.
I wish we could take the "in" out of "in love" because it really throws most for a loop. When someone proposes an activity which you think you might eagerly enjoy, you say "I'm in! Let's do it"
To me that is what being in love is. It's not necessarily a "feeling" but it is an active decision to be "in" a loving bond with that person. You choose who to bond with based on attraction level, intellectual level, compatibility level and other parameters but to say that everyone will experience some cataclysmic sensation based on a new love prospect is not realistic. Love is not a drug. It is a hormonal c o c ktail that many of us have no clue what to do with. The hormonal c o c ktail can't happen without face to face stimulation and I'm not just talking about sexual/physical but sharing the same environment. Many do not experience this and yet they have all the makings of a great love together.
I think many of us are in love with the idea of being in love. That it's supposed to be some earth shattering, spirit evolving thing that makes us different than who we are which is usually (miserable without it) even though it may not actually exist.
Then I think we wonder why we feel so dissillusioned and betrayed. Love never betrayed us...we betrayed the truth of it.
I believe that love is an action, not a reaction. I think that you knowingly choose those you love based on all the criteria that deems them worthy of everything you have to offer another and it that the "original bliss" is merely meant to cement that bonding process.
Love is a person you choose to fit into your life and likewise for them. The emotions you experience based on your time with them is more about you than it is the other. Some people romanticize a peanut butter sandwich and that is part of how their personality works. Others are more logical in their approach and base their experiences on actual facts without all the warm fuzzies. It does not make them any less "in love" than someone who can't control their urge to be with their s.o.
There are many forms of love. If it feels like love for you and it is the kind of love you want...guess what? You're in.
Just my 2 cents. | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/11/2005 11:25:54 AM | Actually Nagles, I would put most of that into the category of Lust....not Love.
Love is when you decide not to judge someone even when they've done something you would consider stupid.
Love is when someone encourages you to share with them, positives and negatives.
Love is when someone is willing to be there for you, even if it's the middle of the night.
Love is considering your feelings, when you're NOT out together, or with them, but all the time.....
Love is being able to fall asleep next to each other, without HAVING to have had sex first.
Love is someone offering you a glass of water, and an aspirin, and a day 'off' when you're feeling sick.
Love is trying to figure out how your goals and dreams are going to mesh together.....
Love is being 'willing' to make it work, even when it would be 'easier' to 'let it go'......
Lust is constantly thinking of that person, day and night.
Lust is not being able to keep your hands off of them, when you're together.
Lust is NOT being able to fall asleep next to them, without first having had sex.
Lust is not inviting them to your parents house for Thanksgiving.
Lust is telling you to call them when you're "feeling better" (after having been sick).
Lust is telling them your goals and dreams with the hopes of impressing them further.
Lust is letting it 'go' at the first feeling of possible 'boredom' or 'barriers' up ahead.
Lust is expecting to feel butterflies and tingles each time you talk or touch. | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/11/2005 12:01:05 PM | i agree with the last two posts.. canadian hottie i agree definitely that the two are always confused for one another and i think that its a shame and for sure there should be something in you that says or tells you the difference between the two, if you are emotionally intelligent you'll know and if you aren't you'll think you know..
bubbles | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/11/2005 1:09:18 PM | | I think in it's simplest form, being in love with someone means that you really accept them as they are and don't think about changing them. Even their "faults" or some "quirks" somehow just don't seem to matter. Even if it's something that normally makes you batty!! Total acceptance. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/11/2005 4:13:59 PM | | You love them just the way they are. There is no doubt about your feeling, that feeling is way deeper and stronger than lust. It is one of those types of feelings, no matter how well you think you can explain it to someone else, you can't. It only makes sense to YOU! | |
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mq2
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Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/16/2005 4:24:44 PM | | Being in love, and loving someone is sometimes two different things. Lust generally comes first doesn't it? That spark or chemistry. Than you fall in love and want to know that person and be with them and be there for them and just enjoy talking and laughing and having fun- and the intimate stuff. Soemtimes you just love someone but there is no attraction. Or you love them and the attraction is past the lust so you are comfortable. I like that. a bit of spark but the conversation and touch and time together. That's it. i think peoiple are more insecure when in the lust stge, the trust seems to come after that. | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/16/2005 5:29:19 PM | When the birds twitter in the trees and the sky is bluer than any shade you can recall?
Nah... that's limerance, it lasts about 3 years, typically. (do a net search) It's a chemical high built on lust and endorphans. It feels real nice but lacks much substance.
Love (in my opinion) is a kindness expressed from admiration and respect. It survives crucibles and time. It grows between you and him like a living thing that strengthens you both. It supports and nurtures and laughs. On a global scale, it brings out the best of your humanity and his. It forgives easily but does not threaten your self-esteem in doing so (or his).
Can you love quickly?...not being pessemistic, love is understood in hind-sight... not future hope. You can never enter a building until it is built. I'm not sure you can know in the beginning. | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/17/2005 6:01:50 AM | u just know, its unexplainable, if we could explain it or have a real definition for it we would have the answer to the question of the meaning of life.
dc | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/17/2005 10:56:27 AM | | My standard regarding love is set rather high. Comparable to the love you have for your children. Would you be willing to throw yourself in front of a train to save your child without thinking about it? That's love... | |
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FOXY71
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Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 21 | |
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Posted: 8/17/2005 10:59:04 AM | | are we aloud to tell of those on here we know are fakes ??? | |
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Posted: 8/17/2005 5:05:32 PM | of course!
P.S. Am I fake? ... Would suck if i were | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/18/2005 12:59:42 AM | To me..
Love is when you care more about the other person than you do yourself.
You put them first and foremost beyond anything.
You feel like part of your heart is missing when they're away from you.
Lust is when you just think about sexual acts with them.
Love is when you think about something other than sexual, maybe a smile, maybe a conversation. It's indescribable and yet hard to define. Love is when no matter what they do, you still care for the person. Love is unconditional, even if they hurt you in the most hurtful way, you may still love the person, despite being able to trust them.
Love and trust combined, make for the most powerful, carefree emotion that I have ever known in my life.
Lust and love may be confused at the beginning of a relationship, but in time, love always prevails. Good luck to you, and may you find the love of a lifetime. | |
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| How do you know you're in love with someone?
Posted: 8/18/2005 1:45:25 AM | its lust if ur thinking all day about having sex with them
its love if ur thinking about them all day but ur thinking about holding hands in the park or ur future together and stuff like that | |
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the boys get the top points on this one. Summed it up beautifully wavrygr and justbourlier