| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 12:32:36 PM | Let's say you have the choice between person A:
He/She has a TON of acquaintences, but not many actual 'friends'. They always seem to know 'someone' everywhere they go, but aren't close to many...if any.....
Or person B:
This guy/girl doesn't know alot of people, perhaps aside from the people they work with, but they have a handful of 'good friends' who could tell you everything about this person.....that's how well they know one another.
Who would you choose?
And........do you ever look to see how many 'friends' or 'acquaintences' a future mate actually has? Is it important? What does it say about them? | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 12:35:55 PM | | I think i would rather have someone who has a lot of friends. It kinda tells me that they are pretty outgoing, a trait i look for. However, I do not look to see if they have a lot of friends, if they don't that's fine too. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 12:39:18 PM | | To me, I don't think it would matter, as what matters most is how person A or person B feels about you and how the two of you gel together. Based upon the amount/level of friendships, person B might be more likely to form a deeper bond with you, but then again that's not necessarily the case. Person A could be the prototypical social butterfly otherwise, yet form a deep relationship with you that is lacking in every other relationship in that person's life. It really depends upon each individual, and on the dynamics of the couple when they become one. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 12:44:03 PM | I am person A, just as you described him. The nature of my work introduces me to dozens of people from different walks of life each week. And my work persona is very personable and outgoing. After work and on the weekends, however, I am quite different. I like to be left alone and do a lot of things on my own. Therefore, I have many acquaintances, but very few good friends.
Neither personality is really bad. In my case, if I am out on a date or just to get out of the house, almost anywhere I go I will have to make small talk with someone because my public/work persona is very important. That can be irritating to a date. At the same time, having the connections I have made, I am given many opportunities most people never have. When I take a date to a restaurant, for instance, I’m usually reserved the best table (if I let them know I am coming), given a discount on my bill or even a free bottle of wine or champaigne. The dates tend to like that. I get free theater tickets all the time. One time I was extended the opportunity for a free hot air balloon ride. My date loved it!
So there’s good and bad with either, I suppose. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 12:54:34 PM | The number of friends/acquaintances I think says a lot about the person...only because I came across one cutie, who had no "friends", he says by choice b/ he wasn't interested in any of them...so currently I'm the only one on his list...and that makes me feel special  also suggesting he's not a player...which makes him even more appealing  ...but everybody's attracted to different people...for me the guy who's more selective...gains huge points | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 1:13:17 PM | | For me, it doesn't matter. I dated men who have lots of friends, and I also dated men who didn't have many. I was more concerned about how he treated me, and how much he was putting into our relationship. A man can be just as good having a few friends, as one who has many...It's about you and him, not him and his friends... | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 3:48:39 PM | im definatly a "type b" i have always had a close group of friends and we are all type b's as we are all very close in the group. we all have other friends out of the group as well some of us more than others.
i have found that me and my friends all act similarly in relationships, first we all tend to jump in a litle fast and we all become very close to our mates.
i have dated type a's and type b's and i prefer the b's because they tend to have similar views on relationships as i do.
my problem with type a's is that they seem to have a hard time being with someone for a longer time and mostly jump around alot.
although there are always exceptions to every rule as every single person is different and nobody actually fits into any archiotype we are all a combination of every archiotype we just tend to exhibit some more than others. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 3:57:07 PM | | I would choose person C, the mutual friend of persons A and B, and see if I could get them to introduce me to both of them. Then we could all become good friends and do algebra together. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 3:57:44 PM | | like yiamhere, i meet and am casual aquaintances with many people. on the other hand i do have a close circle of very true friends. the public part of my life is difficult at times. i can be many miles from home and have people walk up to me that i have met and interrupt an otherwise great time. my close friends allow me the privacy to be myself but at the same time they are there for me whenever as i am for them. i think the person with the fewer "close" friends is the best for me. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 4:02:01 PM | i will help you gg. what is it you don't understand?
ot: i don't believe it would matter to me how many friends a person has. just as long as i took precedence over them if we got together. i believe it's good to be surrounded by good people and good friends. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 4:23:48 PM | | Well, that should not be a primary consideration when chosing someone. It should be based on how you get along and communicate and what you have in common and that mysterious chemistry too. A person with a few close friends indicates that they can get close to people and 1 good true friend who knows you is more rewarding than 1000 aquintances. There is not much love and caring with aquintances. true friendships are the best thing in the world besides being best friends with yourself. If you cant love and have your best friend as yourself than its likely you wont have close friends. People without close friends and lots of aquintances (or not) tend to be like lost souls. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 4:29:43 PM | Depends.
Are these friends a benefit or a liability?
"WIth friends like you who needs enemies" ever heard that one?
He/She has a TON of acquaintences, but not many actual 'friends'. They always seem to know 'someone' everywhere they go, but aren't close to many
Here I am. Though, many times, I find that those who I never really thought of as "close" friends really really ARE!! (perhaps vice versa sometimes too..or..the negative) I tend ot have few enemies though and THAT matters huge if I'm not dumb as bricks.
It kinda tells me that they are pretty outgoing
or..that they are so uptight that they need lots of *cough* *cough* friends to validttae who they are.
also suggesting he's not a player
oh ya? Maybe he has few friends for a reason? Easier to be NOT known and discussed when you don't know anyone. (something to think about I guess)
I was more concerned about how he treated me, and how much he was putting into our relationship.
That is how I judge this too. | |
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woozoo
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Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 4:40:04 PM | Merriam-Webster has 5 definitions of the word friend.
Most appropriate to the discussion (IMHO) is:
4 : a favored companion
It's a question of quality or quantity. I happen to know quite a few people, however I do not consider them to be friends. Just acquaintances. The number of friends that I have I can count on both hands. I believe that the word friend is misused by just about everybody. You meet some guy or gal somewhere a year or two ago, and you consider them a friend, even though in all truth you know nothing about them.
My definition of a friend is someone that I would do just about anything for. And someone that I would expect the same from. You don't do that for everybody. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 4:56:43 PM | I had the lot of friends and acquaintences they all left me high and dry in my time of need but where more then will to come to me when sh it hit the fan for them..
I have 3 good friends now and one is my boss.. all 10 times better then the last friends.. | |
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rodd26
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Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 18 | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 5:53:57 PM | I would choose person B...with only a handful of friends.
A person with many acquaintances, well I'm friends with one of them and yes she is pretty outgoing but when times get tough, who else does she have to turn to? Other than myself and another friend who won't judge her and want to help her help herself. So what if someone knows people everywhere they go? Can they go out and have fun with those people? Can they call up these chums when things get glum? Or would THEY be there when those people need someone. Chances are 'something' would come up and they'd be too busy because A) They don't know them very well and B) They aren't even friends...they just know each other. I would want someone who is there for their friends, and who knows they can depend on me. | |
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| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 6:05:24 PM | I think it is something to consider.
I also think you need a type "C" group. A combo of A + B.
As well we need the type "D" group like "Toad4U" suggests with friends in high places.
One where the person has a lot of people that are acquaintances like "YamIhere" suggests he is. Lots of people that like him and offer him favors. For what ever reason. As well as like "imadude" where there is a group of friends that can be relied on.
I think I am a type "C"
Many people that just like me on a superficial level. People I meet that give me that extra scoop of ice cream. They like me because I am friendly or what ever. But they really do not want to hear me when I am in pain or need an ear! They do not know my Joys or sorrows!
As well I have a small group of friends that I can always lean on when needed. If I need to be bailed out of jail at 4 am and a place to crash, they are there. If my world is crashing around me and I need a shoulder to cry on they are there. And if I just want to have fun and go play well, they are there for that as well.
If a person has no “real friends” makes me wonder why? "Frrosty" has it hit on the head! Are they unable to give, open up? So “mauii “ I think that is something you should consider. We really should not be the only one in a persons life. If we are we are setting ourself up for a bit of a challenge!
I have an X that was a type A + D. lots of people but no one that really knew her. A bad space when she needed to share outside of the relationship. And yes it was kinda neat that my kids go boating with the X Prime minister but how does that help when she was in need of some comfort. She did like the formal dinners but other then a bit of food it gave her little!
So, I would look for someone that is a type “C” as that seems the most balanced. Maybe with a bit of “D” as well, as long as I do not have to go to the functions! lol
I talk to much, gotta learn to be brief! | |
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xpxpk
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Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 6:16:04 PM | Hottie:
This isn't like you. I look forward to your threads because they are usually thought provoking, but this one? It sounds like you're inventing questions. Is the next one going to be, "Should I get involved with a guy who has a big nose?".
I don't mean to be cruel here, but you are asking too many "What if's?".
There just comes a time....give this "future mate" a chance and quit second guessing it. What's the worst that could happen? | |
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Dryad
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Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| How many friends a person has.....does it matter?
Posted: 8/9/2005 6:33:04 PM | At the risk of oversimplification, I think I’d prefer the person with a few very close, good friends. Simply because it tends to mean they’ve practiced reciprocal relationships, have likely dealt with issues that come up in long term friendships, know that any relationship takes work and value depth over quantity and novelty.
A natural charisma is nice. But, I’ve met people with 5 minutes of charm and little else.
Also, I want my partner to have other good friendships. There are going to be times when he might need a bouncing wall that’s not me. And I can’t say I’d want the pressure of being a sole confidant; absolutely the only person he can talk with would drive me nuts. Sometimes all the perspectives you need to make sense of life aren’t all found in one person.
Cheers | |
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