| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:16:45 AM | OK, I have done the search and read all the threads on masturbation. Here is a question that does not seem to be approached, but it has been hinted at. Not looking for morality here, just thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I love having S** with my partner, there is just not enough of it for me.
When in a commited relationship, is it OK to masturbate more often that actually having intercourse with your partner? My partner feels it is wrong and I need to hide it to not upset her, she does not masturbate herself either.
HELP | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:19:47 AM | | I have to say, i do it all the time, even more than sex. Their shouldnt be a problem, unless when your going to have sex with her, your thing wont stand up, or cant get excited. Yes...big problem. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:23:07 AM | | If you are replacing sex with masterbation, then I can see a potential problem. But if you are the having the same amount of sex then masterbate all you want! | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:30:21 AM | | Well, it is not a replacement that is for sure. I have had a problem for years in not being able to climax during intercourse, this is with and without the masturbation over long periods. I think it is more along the lines of her beliefs more than anything. Any suggestions on how to get her to understand or at least accept what I need and she dosn't need? It is an issue in our relationship which I don't want to lose. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:41:26 AM | | Masterbation is your own business. As far as how often your having sex...if it's enough for her, then she needs to not waiste time and energy ****ing about your masterbation, after all you could be out getting some strange instead. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:45:44 AM | | I just remember I had that issue long time ago, n it was my belief. I though that I might be not capable enough to do what he please for, i felt insecurity w/in myself. Felt for a moment that I wasnt the one that pleases him. That he prefered pleasing himself more than me doing him. N knowing that, lead to more problems. One thimg I suggest you do, is let her know, that you do enjoy everymoment with, but you have to say this everytime, until that insecurity goes away. Is the best I can do. I hope it helps. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:53:24 AM | | I don't see why anyone would have a problem of their partner engaging in masterbation with or without the other being present... Maybe you can try to present it in a more sexual way to her, like when the two of you are being intimate...if she is totally repulsed by it, then don't try to convince her to like it. I say do what makes you happy behind closed doors, as long as the two of you have a healthy sex life and you are not "cheating" on her in anyway she should not take it personal at all. My guy does it all the time, I do it all the time, who cares??? | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 10:07:42 AM |
i think masturbation is always wrong. i have never done it because jesus would be mad at me
I know the biblical about not spilling your seed upon the ground, yet it is not one of the commandments. To each his own about the believes though. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 10:09:37 AM | ^^^ I'm going to pretend that was a joke and not make fun of him for saying that!^^^
Anyway, i am seeing alot of women helping you try and explain your masterbation problem to your spouse like it's something that needs careful planing.
Dude...screw that crap, if she can't deal with your jackin off, then she's the one that needs a shrink. This is 2005, the history channel has told us what has happened.
And Howard Stern is letting us all know that things have opened up quite a bit!
I belive you should be able to share all things with your spouse without being scolded or told it is wrong.
If you can't be open and honest...ouch! Guess gettin married had more to it than you thought. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 10:13:45 AM | Do you think of other women when you masterbate? If she thinks so then, that is what's upsetting her.
Sometimes, normally not though. I think it is more along the lines that she is feeling she is not doing something right, even though I have reasured her that is not the case. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 11:14:34 AM | Sounds like she has a problem being comfortable with sexuality.Masturbation is very normal.I taught one girl friend I had many,many years ago how to pleasure herself.It was a long while before she got comfortable with it but she was happy with it once the silly inhibitions went away.
Maybe you should suggest the two of you watch each other masturbate.That's fun! | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 11:23:26 AM | | There is definatly no problem with that .. I'd suggest that you mention to her that you're horny and if she doesnt want to take care of that .. GO ahead ! lol | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 11:36:47 AM | | It is OK to masturbate whenever you damn well feel like it! There is not a morality or right and wrong issue about it. sometimes you just feel like doing it yourself, and it doesn't mean that there is anything lacking with your relationship. If people have a problem with it, they should learn to be more secure. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 12:15:09 PM | If you can't get it up because you've just wanked off 3 times that day, hell yeah I'd say it's a problem.
Otherwise...no biggy as long as I can watch! Hahahahaha...
Your girlfriend really needs to get into it. If she doesn't know how to properly please herself how can she know what she really likes?
I masturbate whenever I want to, whether in a relationship or not...but it's kinda fun to have some ahem...assistance...with the deed when you have a willing partner to help you out. Makes for a good spectator sport. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 12:24:10 PM | if it's been a few days 4 or 5, without sex, i'll masturbate, so im not overly sensitive, and not loaded up full. I know it's usually the fourth or fifth day, then SHE's ready. It's not that i have a premature ejaculation issue, not at all, it's so she'll have more enjoyment, longer, more endurance, and less mess to clean. I just like it that way. I get OVERLY excited, during sex, and have been known to get SO excited, just Giving oral sex to my girlfriend, has cause me to have spontaneous orgasms, without being TOUCHED, she loves it, drives her INSANE, but, there are times she likes endurance, so i masturbate for her, or with her not knowing sometimes even. I take Paxil, so i get WAY overly sensitive on the flesh/nerve level. Her and I are SUPER open about sex though.
I don't and she doesn't think this is unhealthy, or bad in any way. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 6:09:16 PM |
I have a similar problem. IT really does help to masturbate less in between, can you give it at least a 24 hour rest before intercourse?
That is usually not a problem. The trick is to figure out when that time will be. We only do it a couple of times a month now if that often, so the 24 hour thing is a normal. I only enjoy myself a couple of times a week, sometimes not at all during a week. So it is not a frequent as some may think. Just a concern that she has I need to break through.
Thanks for the suggestions, keep them coming. | |
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| Masturbation while in strong relationships.
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:39:23 PM | bigcats~ I would think your partner would rather you show more interest in here then in pleasuring yourself. If you are masturbating more often then having intercourse.. UM yeah I'd have a problem with that.
Now if you are trying to initiate sex and she says NO then it would be understandable that you would pleasure yourself... | |
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